Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Hope (1)

Yamasaki had killed someone? At that moment, Yasuo seemed a completely different person to her and she almost unconsciously distanced herself from him in fear. But she stopped herself as she looked at his pitiful appearance. The fear and the pain through her arm made her have a cold sweat, still she forced herself to calm down and softly asked him, "Yasuo, what happened? Tell me. I'll listen to everything you say."

This was her last attempt–a hope that Yasuo was not a murderer.  She didn't want to come to a conclusion from just one statement. Maybe she was being delusional. Maybe Yamasaki Yasuo really was a….

She didn't want to think about this. She only knew that she had to listen to him. This was the best thing she could do; for him and for herself.

Hearing her, his red eyes widened appearing to be even more scary and his grip tightened making her grimace in pain. He hurriedly let her go and looked at her in daze.

Clara rubbed her arms and took a few deep breaths and said with hesitation, "Yasuo, can you lie down with your back facing me? You can then tell me. Maybe it will be easier for you."

When she was a child, she used to do the same. At that time, she used to fear looking at her mother's face when she did something wrong or when she was crying. It was enough for her that her mother was beside her. She hoped to achieve the same with Yasuo. Still, there was hesitation and a hint of unease.

Yamasaki stared blankly at her for a few seconds before nodding and lying back on the bed with his back facing her.

Clara hugged him from behind. His body warmth and smell comforted her a little. They stayed like that for sometime.

Yamasaki turned around, gazed into her light hazel eyes, and placed his hand on her waist. His eyes were no longer unfocused. Clara smiled a little to encourage him to speak.

He started speaking in a hoarse and breaking voice, "More than a decade ago, I met Megumi in college. W-we hit it off at first sight and became good friends. And then-then she confessed to me. I-I still remember that day."

He sniffed as tears accumulated in his eyes again. Clara wiped them.

"I will never forget that day. I-I thought I was blessed. At that time, I thought that I could give anything and everything to her."

"Bullshit! I never deserved her. When she needed me the most, I-I pushed her away. I killed her."

It was as if a little burden fell from her shoulder. So Yasuo didn't murder anyone. She continued listening to him silently while caressing his hair showing that she was still with him.

"They called her dumb. Dumb?! Who the fuck do they think they are? So what if she failed to get a job many times? I told them that I was with her."

"When I got a job, I didn't expect to get so busy. It was like a whole new world. When she failed many times. I told her that it was alright…that she didn't have to push herself so hard… that I was with her."

His voice no longer broke and became clearer by the passing time.

"But I never understood her pain. In the end, she drowned her sorrow in drugs and alcohol. As time passed, she became destructive and violent. I tried to persuade her to go to a therapist. But… but she hit me and told me to shut the fuck up. She told me that I didn't understand her."

Yamasaki clasped on her t-shirt tightly.

"Even then I stood with her… or so I thought. Just because of a single slap, unknowingly I began to act colder towards her."

"Such trash I was."

"There were many small things that I didn't do right and ended up hurting her. I only understood them after she was gone. How much self absorbed I was back then? I couldn't even see such obvious things. I really regret this. I really hate this part of me."

He took a deep breath to prepare himself and continued, "Things started becoming worse with each passing day until I snapped. I… I told her that… that it's better to die than live like this."

"Then she really died. My words were too much for her. I killed her…."

Like a broken dam burst open, never ending tears flowed down his face. Looking at him so broken and sad, Clara also couldn't hold back her tears. Then they held each other tightly and sobbed their hearts out.

Later when Clara looked at his exhausted and sleeping face, she felt like needles had stabbed her heart. She couldn't help but recall the first time they met.

It was around four years ago, from a bar to a hotel, she didn't know how but in the end, they ended up having sex. After sobering up, they left in their own way. To her, it was just another one night stand. But what about him?

Clara could only recall one thing about that man whose name she didn't even know at that time–his eyes. At that time, she got curious about him. So she tried to find him but failed and then forgot about it, thinking that it was just her delusion and it was better to stay away from a random man's life. Now she knew that it was not her delusion. It was not some simple sadness.

More than two years later, they met again, this time Yamasaki Yasuo represented his company for an important matter. This showed that he was successful and doing good in his life.

One thing led to another and they became sex friends. When she got to know him closely. There was a mysterious air around him making him even more attractive.

You are reading story Tales of Isfet at novel35.com

She was not some naive girl so after some probing, she knew that he was not trying to act mysterious. This made him a bit different from other men she knew.

It might be a bit biased but based on her experience when it came to a relationship there were only two kinds of men–richer or poorer than her.

Yasuo was her first and only sex friend. Before him, she had two boy friends. One in high school–a typical one thanks to young blood and then one in college. She gave her virginity to the second dude– though it would have been better if she could give it to Yasuo. They broke up when he tried to use her father's name to gain favor.

With this Clara understood that she didn't like him otherwise she wouldn't have cared about such a thing. And of course, there were more incidents that led to the break up. In the end, her conclusion was that she would only have a serious relationship as long as she was in love.

So Yamasaki's position was unique. She didn't love him but still accepted a long term secret relationship with him.

After all, she was much richer and her social rank was also higher than him. Thanks to her father, the owner of Rayden co. Coincidentally, the company for which Yasuo worked was a subsidiary of Rayden. Neither did he ask for some favor nor did he seem to care about her background. He seemed to be satisfied with his life. She gave him brownie points for this.

In reality, Yamasaki Yasuo didn't care about his life at all. He was just trudging forward with something guiding him. If not for this, he would already be a dead man.

Time passed, they became closer. She thought that they were good buddies until four months ago when she found out that she had long fallen for him.

The way she found out was this was also a bit… unique or at least different from the typical realizations. It happened when she had a threesome for the first time in her life. It was also the time she felt the most jealous in her life.

This was laughable and she was a bit confused. So she went into her first serious self reflection. On Sunday of the same week, she set up a date with him and in the end, they had slow gentle sex. That was the best day of her life. That week became special to her for having so many firsts.

Clara caressed his face and muttered, "I am such a fool. There were hints everywhere but I noticed so late."

Yasuo in many people's eyes was a silent, cold man. He was cold on the outside and warm on the inside for the one closer to him. But in reality only few people knew his current real self. He was a depressed, broken man who was living or more like forcing himself to live thanks to something she didn't know.

The more she thought about it, the more Clara felt sad. She made a pledge in heart that she would definitely help Yasuo and pull him out of the seemingly bottomless pit of misery.

────────────────── ☯ ──────────────────

Later in the afternoon, Clara dropped Yamasaki at the cemetery and waved him bye before stepping on the pedal.

She recalled the conversation they had an hour ago and was filled with fighting spirit.

Clara placed her hand on top of his and gazed into his eyes. She said, "Yasuo, can you promise me one thing?"

"Hmm?"

"Please don't push me away."

He stared blankly at her.

She continued speaking in a firm voice, "you took a big step forward by opening up to me. So please trust me. It may be difficult for you to love yourself again but as long as you don't push me away."

She smiled brightly, "I'll make you so happy and satisfied that you will be completely head over heels on me."

Yamasaki's gaze wavered. Clara maintained her smile and pressed on his hand firmly to support him. But deep inside she was anxious. Instinctively she knew that if she didn't pass the hurdle at that moment then it would be even more difficult for both of them in future.

Yasuo said weakly, "I am sorry."

Her smile stiffened. Yasuo placed his free hand on her cheeks and smiled lightly with a resolute gaze.

"Clara, there is still something that I have to face. I-" he paused for a moment then continued, "I promise after that I'll give you my answer."

As Clara drove through the city, she was filled with hope.

A hope for their future and…

Later becoming an ugly truth.

You can find story with these keywords: Tales of Isfet, Read Tales of Isfet, Tales of Isfet novel, Tales of Isfet book, Tales of Isfet story, Tales of Isfet full, Tales of Isfet Latest Chapter