Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Hope (2)

After paying respect to Megumi's grave, Yamasaki sat cross legged in front of it.

He smiled softly and said, "Megumi, it's been more than five years and I think I can finally move on."

"Unknowingly, I had started to like Clara. But I was running from her and myself. I didn't deserve you nor do I deserve her. I know I am trash. But I want to make things right."

Kasuo continued with a bitter expression, "I don't want you to forgive me for what I was doing. I know it is unforgivable. But I will continue being the bad guy for some time. I shamelessly want you to support me in the next hurdle. I… I want your strength to speak to her."

"And then I promise that… I'll complete our promise and live a happy life and… and be a better person for you and for them. And for myself."

He closed his eyes and stayed like that for a long time as if he was getting strength from her.

After that he stood up and was about to leave when an aged voice startled him.

"It's been five years."

Yamasaki turned around to see an old man. He was the caretaker of the cemetery.

Yamasaki wanted to leave but the old man had blocked his way. He didn't want to push him away so he decided to humor him for some time and nodded.

The old man squinted his eyes and said, "isn't death interesting?"

Yasuo frowned.

The old man continued, "they say that no one knows when death will arrive but is it really the truth?"

Yamasaki said while suppressing his irritation, "sir, I don't want to talk about this so let me leave."

But the old man seemed to be deaf. He continued his rambling, "just like life, death also depends on your choices. One wrong choice, doesn't matter if it is evil or not, and you are dead."

Yamasaki stepped forward and showed an aggressive stance.

"Old man, I am warning you. Stop with this nonsense."

Hearing him, the old bastard guffawed, showing his toothless mouth. Fortunately he stepped aside.

Yasuo sighed in relief and started leaving.

He heard the old man's loud voice from behind, "ask yourself did you not have bad thoughts? You still have them! You still regret them but can't let them go."

His eerie laughter filled the surrounding.

"Yamasaki Yasuo, we will definitely meet again."

Yamasaki clenched his fists and took a deep breath. He quickened his pace otherwise he himself didn't know what he would do in anger.

But Yasuo had already decided to help this insane old man retire.

Half an hour later, he exited the Hudson Lane underground metro station. It was still full of people.

Hudson Lane was a pretty popular place in the city. Not only was there the famous Hudson castle a few miles away but there were also well known restaurants and cafes. There were also some secret bars that operated at night.

Yamasaki walked with familiarity and soon reached the Radcliffe cafe. He looked around but couldn't find her.

He glanced at the time. It was ten minutes past three.

He muttered, "it's rare for her to be late."

"Who is late?" A pleasant laughter sounded behind him.

His lips curled up and when he turned around, a woman hugged him.

His mood immediately became better.

When they separated, the woman smiled, "it's been a long time, Kasu."

She wore a red t-shirt and denim jeans. Her black hair was tied in a pony tail and she looked as beautiful as ever.

Yasuo chuckled, "Hikaru, it's only been a few weeks."

Hikaru crossed her hand over her chest and said, "Hey, that's still a long time."

Yamasaki admitted his defeat and nodded, "yes yes it's a long time."

Hikaru was just in highschool when Megumi died. At that time, Yamasaki was really guilty and sad so he took utmost care of her. She had also become an emotional support for him.

Later when Hikaru joined a prestigious university in the city, they were together most of the time. After all, they had neighboring rooms in the old apartment.

Yasuo didn't tell her yet and also didn't plan to tell her that she was one of the main reasons that he was still living. His promise to Megumi was the other one.

Fukuhara Hikaru chucked and pulled him while saying, "why are you dazed? Come, I have many things to tell you."

After placing the order, Hikaru started chattering about her trip. It was her last university trip after all so it was a bit special.

Yamasaki rested his chin on his hand and smiled warmly as he looked at her speaking happily.

Time passed, Yasuo finally sighed and said, "Hikaru now can you stop beating around the bush?"

Hikaru took the last sip of her drink and placed it on the table. She nodded and said with a serious expression, "Yasu, when will you start dating?"

"Clara is a good girl and it's clear that she likes you a lot unlike those other women that you sleep with."

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She didn't let him speak and continued, "I know it's hard for you to move on but you have to move on. Didn't you promise Megu that you will lead a good life even if you are not together?"

In the end, Hikaru teared up, attracting the gazes of people around them.

"Didn't you boast to me that you always keep promises? Then why? Why are you still so depressed? It has been five years, Yasu, five goddamn years. Why are you always making me so sad?"

Yamasaki sighed and stood up. He sat beside her and patted her back while consoling her.

"It's okay, Hikaru. Don't cry. I am no longer depressed."

"Don't lie!"

He held her hand and softly said, "I have started to date Clara."

Hikaru looked at him blankly and asked, "You are not lying?"

Yasuo shook his head.

Then to his surprise, even bigger tears fell down her eyes.

He was speechless and helpless. He could only pass on the tissues to her.

After crying, she said, "I am sorry. That declaration caught me off guard."

She smiled brightly with a year stained face, "I am so happy for you."

He wiped her tears and nodded, "I can see."

Hikaru looked around and felt embarrassed. She excused herself and walked to the washroom.

Yamasaki looked at her back and then his gaze trailed towards her bottom.

After a few seconds, he leaned back and closed his eyes while muttering under his breath, "I am worse than a trash."

Yasuo genuinely cared about her. She looked very similar to her sister. But unknowingly he started to develop uncomfortable thoughts about her.

Inside his heart, he saw her as his sister but at the same time, he started to lust for her. That was why he called himself worse than trash.

His thoughts were like poison. A poison that led to hell of depression and misery. He feared that one day he would make another mistake.

So he ran away by releasing his desire elsewhere. At that time, he met Clara for the first time.

Years passed, there was no improvement even when he went to a therapist. He was completely broken.

But he didn't dare to do  anything to himself. Otherwise he feared that it would have a huge impact on Hikaru. He didn't want her to lose her smile.

And there was also that promise with Megumi. It had become an obsession deep inside of his heart. He continued to live a so-called good life, even if it was fake.

Until he met Clara again or more like until he found out that he liked her and when he was with her, he didn't think about Hikaru's body.

Yamasaki sighed at that thought.

But he felt positive that he would be able to pass this hurdle with Clara.

As for telling them the truth, he didn't dare to do so. He lied to Hikaru that he was already dating Clara. He was just setting things up so that later he could tell her another lie that he had started to like her because of her appearance.

Only then would he tell her the rest half of the truth. Because of his guilt for Megumi and his bond with Hikaru, he felt really complicated and forcefully suppressed his thoughts.

He was being selfish but he didn't care. He only cared about their happiness.

Hikaru might feel awkward and complicated after that but it was still better than feeling of betrayal. What would she feel if the person she trusted actually lusted after her? She would feel really bad and might even get traumatized.

"What are you thinking?" Hikaru's words broke his thoughts.

Yamasaki shook his head. They stepped outside the cafe when out of the blue Hikaru exclaimed while looking in a direction, "Oh, Clara!"

Yamasaki turned his head to look in that direction but didn't see anyone familiar, much less Clara.

Beside him, Hikaru burst into laughter. He smiled bitterly and shook his head.

Hikaru said again, "Ah Clara'" and waved her hand.

Yamasaki side glanced at her.

She said while pointing at the end of the street, "this time I am not lying."

Indeed she was right. When Yasuo saw Clara, his lips unconsciously curled up. He also waved at her.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw someone and felt a chill down his spine.

A thin man suddenly knelt down and spread his arms up high. He shouted in a hoarse voice, "Rewi feu rall Amarak!"

No one could react. But the people around knew what would happen with them. It was so sudden and they could only show a despair filled expression.

As the thin man after shouting pulled out a string and the suicide bomber exploded.

That day countless people died including a seemingly insignificant broken man.

That day was the start of the revolution of Amarak.

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