Chapter 184: Stand-in Lover (14)

World Seven. Stand-in Lover (14)

“Impossible.”

Xue Xue gave the answer by herself without waiting for Chi Yu’s answer.

“I can’t trust someone unconditionally, even if this person is my lover, I can’t commit everything to him from the beginning.”

“This is my character. Whether it is affected by the acquired environment or not, I have lived with this mentality for more than 20 years, and I can’t change it.” After a pause, Xue Xue added another sentence. “I don’t want to change.”

“It’s my fault for not telling you clearly. Now that I have confessed to you, this is me, whether you accept it or not.”

At this point, she had finally said what she needed.

Chi Yu, however, seemed to have not yet reacted.

After all, Xue Li rarely says so much, in the time when the two were alone, she was usually the listener.

“Then… what about Fu Qingyu?”

As soon as Chi Yu asked, the whole atmosphere immediately became strange.

In fact, he was a little upset. It was rare for the woman to be willing to speak out what was on her mind, but none of this seemed to be as lethal as Fu Qingyu. To Chi Yu, the three words Fu Qing Yu were like a burning thorn that had pricked his heart, and it hurt when he touched them.

What he didn’t know was that Xue Xue had been waiting for him to take the initiative to ask about Fu Qingyu.

If it was mentioned by herself, it would be difficult for her to accurately grasp the reaction of Chi Yu, but it was different if Chi Yu mentioned it.

At least there was a buffer.

“Fu Qingyu? He’s Xiangxiang’s boyfriend.” Xue Xue tilted her head and thought for a while before explaining in more detail. “For me now, he is just Xiangxiang’s boyfriend.”

Chi Yu did not neglect the adverb of time used by Xue Xue.

“Now? What about before?”

“Before…” Xue Xue said, leaning her whole body against the door panel, staring at Chi Yu with a gentle and tolerant eyes. “Didn’t you already know, or guess?”

When Chi Yu heard Xue Xue throw the question back, he didn’t know what to say for a moment, and he felt inexplicably guilty, as if he was an unreasonable child.

Xue Xue was amused to see Chi Yu’s face turn blue and white.

It was clearly he who wanted to ask, but he still looked like he was the one being asked.

“I just want to hear from you.”

After a long time, Chi Yu finally got his voice back.

His eyelashes were thick and long, like two rows of small fans. When his eyelids drooped, he looked a few years younger than his actual age. With that beautiful face, even if his face was expressionless, he still looked innocent and pitiful.

Xue Xue felt that her heart was hit by something, and there was a sweet and greasy taste in the soreness and swelling.

Although this body was a little younger than Chi Yu, if the time spent in these worlds were summed up, she could be considered an ancestor.

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Xue Xue, who wanted to tease Chi Yu for a while, thought of this and thought that she should not quarrel with Chi Yu.

So, she changed her posture.

Still staring at Chi Yu, the plain white lotus arms wrapped around the man’s neck like vine branches.

“I’ll just say this once, you have to listen carefully.”

“I did like Fu Qingyu, but this like has faded before it can become love.”

When Xue Xue said the first sentence, Chi Yu held his breath. For a moment he could even feel the stinging pain caused by the lack of oxygen in the brain. However, before the pain was transmitted to his whole body, he suddenly stopped because of Xue Xue’s next words.

He turned his stiff neck.

The moment he met Xue Xue’s eyes, Chi Yu saw something in the woman’s eyes that he had not discovered in the past.

“I admit that for a long time, I was not sure whether my feelings for Fu Qingyu were like? Love? Or gratitude?” Xue Xue continued. “In fact, not only to Fu Qingyu’s, even regarding my feelings for you, I can not understand myself.”

“Although I am in my twenties, my experience in this area may not be as good as that of some underage children.”

Xue Xue smiled bitterly.

“I have never been ambiguous with anyone, and I have never liked anyone, or been liked by anyone. Those are far, far away from my life.” Xue Xue’s eyes began to turn blank. “I have too many things to accomplish. As for my feelings… Since I was a child, no one taught me how to judge, express, and face it.”

“Fu Qingyu was the first, and he didn’t changed because of my other external conditions. I can feel the sincerity of someone who treats me well.”

“I liked to get along with him, and I liked to be taken care of by him, which made me think that there was someone in this world who would treat me like this, not because I have something they need, but because I am me.”

“Do you understand what I mean? I…”

Xue Xue was already a little incoherent when she said this, but it happened that Chi Yu could understand.

Because he had the same experience.

At first glance, it looks like an impregnable wall. However, only those who have experienced it personally understand that the shadow and pain of childhood will not disappear completely as time goes by, but will be carefully hidden in various ways.

In the silence, the two looked at each other, only each other in their eyes.

It seems that there is no one else in this world except Xue Xue and Chi Yu.

“You are different, Chi Yu.”

Xue Xue’s voice was soft, like a murmur, but in the limited car space, it was like using a loudspeaker, and every word was amplified particularly clearly.

“You and Fu Qingyu are different. What Fu Qingyu can give me, you also give me, but what you give me, Fu Qingyu can’t give me.”

“Do you understand what I mean? Chi…hmm.”

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