Chapter 67: Dungeons Dark and not-so-Perilous

"This is so cool!" Rolly was extremely excited as they entered the dungeon. "Squirmie and I really crave adventuring. Right Squirmie?"

Ben paused for a moment. "It's not quite that bad. We certainly do all of that. But we are killing evil creatures, the bad guys, and that keeps them from overflowing the dungeons."

Ozzy was starting down the hallway, his polearm in hand. "Philosophy discussions later; kill rats now before they kill us.”

The rest of the group got quiet and followed him; Ben and Rolly a couple steps behind and to either side, and Suzette further back, completing a diamond formation. Squirmie fluttered down the corridor, usually a few feet above Rolly's head.

Suzette had a crude map out and was looking at it. "So where to first? The necromancer with the trap fetish is generally to the left. Skartongue, the Rattipede, and Roquefort are down to the right. The center eventually comes to the stairs to the second level and a big village of lesser rat-kin and some named. The bosses can spawn there as well."

Ben looked at the map. "Does it never change? That's convenient."

Suzette pointed to a couple of places. "Small changes, sometimes the tunnels are reversed, or boss rooms are in different places, I have to pick up on details I overhear from the drunken raid members. Timmy ordered everyone to be mum on details."

"Let's go visit our friendly, neighborhood necro-rat. I've been thinking of that set-up of his. There may be an obvious flaw in his plans." Ozzy moved down the hallway, tapping with his weapon along the floor as they went. Just like his first time in, they began hitting traps. The bear-trap variety was most common, but there was also a pendulum trap and a poisoned dart trap.

Luckily, Rolly noticed the slight groove in the stone from the pendulum trap before Ozzy walked into the hidden wire. The dart trap Ben saw coming because of a difference in the paving stones. The traps were not hurting them, but were slowing them down - especially since Ben insisted on looking at the mechanisms. "I want to take some of these apart after we are done. I want all the parts and mechanisms to experiment with." Rolly said he and Squirmy would be happy to come back and help tear the place apart.

They encountered a few patrols of 2-3 rat-kin or skeletons on the way to the necro-rat. At first Suzette was nervous, remembering her own battle with one. Shooting them from behind Ozzy, however, was much easier.

Your Solar Arrow hit Skeletal Rat-kin Warrior.

Skeletal Rat-kin Warrior takes 1.5x damage because this is a Light-based attack.

You have done 144 points of damage to Skeletal Rat-kin Warrior.

She could almost put down a trash-mob skeleton in one casting; Rat-kin took two to three. And the range was huge. Rolly had been right about how much range would do towards keeping her safe. She could reach any of their foes from a distance and not have to get close to the fight.

When they rounded the last corner before the boss room, Ozzy had them hang back. It looked the same as before. The undead puppet was on the throne, with a rug covering a thin strip down the center of the room. Hangings concealed the alcoves where the undead hid.

"Hand me a half dozen oil flasks. I'm going to soak things down some. What's the range on that ignite cantrip? 100 feet?"

Suzette handed him the flasks of oil from her potions bag. "Yes. 100 feet. I should be able to cast from outside the room."

Ozzy went up alone, paying careful attention to where the portcullis had dropped last time. He could see the thin opening in the ceiling. He took a piece of chalk and marked the floor about a foot further out. After that, he took aim for the floor in front of each alcove, and the throne, tossing two flasks at each. The puppet jerked a bit as the oil dripped down onto it.

Ozzy motioned for Suzette to move up. She quickly cast her Ignite cantrip at the three areas with oil. The cantrip barely did damage, even enhanced by the staff; it's main purpose was in setting something on fire. Oil-soaked rags and old carpet flared up immediately. Suzette move back to the others while Ozzy blocked for her, just in case. He also yelled "ReadySetCHARGE" and stamped his feet a bit."

CLANG! The portcullis dropped into the hallway, missing OZZY by a couple of feet.

"HA! I have fooled you again! My clever plan has trapped you morons and it is time to kill you and...where are you? Stupid, stupid humans! Didn't you hear the order to charge?!!"

The curtains and carpet flared, catching fire immediately. All the undead were taking some moderate fire damage. The warriors charged up to the portcullis, followed by the mummy rat-shamans. Ozzy started killing the warriors with his polearm. Suzette moved up and was blasting the rat-shamans. Rolly wandered up behind Ozzy, just watching. Ben uncoiled his whip, ready for what they thought would happen.

Rolly had begun his strange transformation using his 'shepherd powers'. Shiny, black armored plates covered most of his body, and huge scythes burst from his forearms. They'd all seen it a couple of times now, but it was still strange to watch.

"At them my minions of death!" The portcullis raised up. Unfortunately for

Snik'tik Lifethief, his remaining warrior and shaman died almost immediately after that. Ozzy surged into the room, slashing at the necromancer, who easily dodged and targeted him with a life drain. "You are doomed mortals. I shall drain you to heal myself even as my horde rushes here to kill you!"

Ben's whip flipped out and coiled around Snik'tik's ankle as he leaped away from Ozzy. The strike from the whip did negligible damage, but Ben invoked Flaming Brand, which added an additional 40 points of damage against the necromancer.

Squirmie and Rolly double-teamed the off-balance rat-kin as he landed. Squirmie spat a glob of sticky silken strands that glued one of Snik'tik's feet to the floor. Rolly did a double strike, one blow missing, and one hitting.

You hit Snik'tik Lifethief for 100 points of damage.

The rat reciprocated with his life drain against Rolly.

You have been life drained for 2D100 damage. You have lost 46 Health. Your health is temporarily reduced by 46 points. Health 1214/1214.

"Go Away talking bug!! I have manlings to kill. I kill you later."

It was going to have to be much later. As many bosses have found, when the whole party gets a chance to play wack-a-mole, your health goes down quickly. Snik'tik managed to last just a bit longer by constantly draining one or another of the characters, but it was a foregone conclusion and he finally dropped.

Ozzy walked behind the throne, avoiding the area with the trap, and dropped the portcullis again as the rest of the undead showed up. "Ben, why don't you and Suzette practice some of your attack skills on the sitting ducks while we suck down a few potions, and then we can go visit some of the other bosses.

"That was fun. You did great, Squirmie."

"This guy really doesn't have a good set-up, does he?" Ben was hitting one undead after another with his whip, and triggering Flaming Brand. "It's too easy to use the portcullis against him. It should have been a solid door. Or have the other undead come from a hidden hallway behind the throne. As it is, the trap only works once and then it's our trap, not his."

Suzette was tossing one Solar Arrow after another at the shrinking horde of undead. "Very nice for skill training, but I was thinking that myself. The dungeon gets easier and easier as more information is known about it. It would be better if rooms moved around more, or the floorplan was a maze. Maybe if people entered someplace different each time? I can see why players refer to it as "Farming a Dungeon."

You have slain Snik'tik Lifethief, a Level 5 Elite Rat-kin Necromancer.

Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 250 EP towards leveling their class. They also receive 250 EP to be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.

Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 50 EP in any skill used in the dungeon and 50 in its associated stat for killing trash mobs.

Suzette receives 500 EP towards leveling her class. She also receives 500 EP that may be applied to INT.

Suzette receives 100 EP in INT and 100 EP in Light Affinity for killing trash mobs.

Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.

Suzette: 5 Ozzy: 1 Squirmie:1 Rolly: 1 Ben: 1

A Tier 1 Loot Chest is waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.

"Well, that's interesting. Look at the EP for Suzette vs. the rest of us." Ben looked over to Rolly. "I know this is a personal sort of question, but at the risk of being rude, is Squirmie at least equal to your level Rolly? Or does he count as your level?"

"Dunno. I never really asked, but let’s go with one of those ideas. That would fit with Suzette not having hit the point where she can go to Tier 2. Best way to test it is with another boss."

Retracing their steps back through the corridors, they took the intersection that branched and went towards multiple bosses. Rolly was leading the way, anxious for another fight. "So, who's down here, Suzette?"

"Several, but the one to watch for is the Rattipede. He can hide on the ceiling, run on walls, and likes to grab the last person in the group and steal their feet."

Rolly looked up at the shadows near the ceiling, and the multiple hiding places behind the arches. "So maybe toss your cantrip up at the ceiling ever fifty feet? He sounds like an ambush predator. Take away his ambush and he'll be easier to deal with."

Suzette tried that out. Being a light-based spell, it did illuminate the area where it hit for a couple of seconds. She started tossing them ahead of the group. Her mana was going down a bit, but the cantrip used such a small fraction of her total that she wasn't worried. That's what potions were for.

After moving down the hall for five minutes with multiple castings of Solar Arrow, she was surprised when it hit something and exposed the huge, multi-legged monstrosity. The Rattipede howled, and raced across the ceiling. When it got to Suzette, the front half detached from the ceiling to swing down to grab her - and then stopped.

Suzette had cast another cantrip. Suspend! It allowed her to hold an object in the air and keep it from falling. Far worse than a levitate spell, because she couldn't lower or raise the object, just hold it. In this case the Rattipede found it's large rat-kin torso hanging in mid-air, it's back legs still attached to the ceiling.

Rolly yelled, "Look Ozzy! A pinata!" He leaped and slashed twice into the leggy part, severing the boss in two. Ozzy hit one of the halves with his billhook, cutting that half in half again. While Suzette held the main part of the boss in the air, the rest of them chased leg segments around the area cutting them smaller and smaller.

"Damn, this drains a lot of mana when the object is heavy!" Suzette stepped back a ways, let the Rattipede fall, and cast a solar arrow at it. All of the pieces quit moving.

"That seemed a bit easy," Ozzy poked at pieces to make sure they were dead.

Rolly picked out a pair of fancy black shoes that he liked and pried them off the feet section they were on. "Like I said, take the ambush out of the ambush predator and they are a lot weaker. This guy would be a terror for small parties. He probably picked off a lot of people from Timmy's groups. But if you know he's coming, he's just one big rat thing. He'd probably do better to attack after we were engaged with another boss or even a big bunch of giant rats. Solo, he's just weak in a fight.

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You have slain Rattipede the foot collector, a Level 4 Elite Rat-kin Abomination

Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 200 EP towards leveling their class. They also receive 200 EP that may be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.

Suzette receives 400 EP towards leveling her class. She also receives 400 EP that may be applied to INT.

Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.

Suzette: 2 Ozzy: 1 Squirmie:1 Rolly: 1 Ben: 1

A Tier 1 Loot Chest is waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.

"Oh! The necromancer pushed me to Level 5. I guess that's why I'm getting fewer points for this guy. Suzette was looking at her sheet and thinking about how to spend her points."

"Well, I think it's becoming apparent that Timmy's strategy has just been farming the tier 1 bosses to level up his new people, and get a few points for the higher level guys. This is probably getting pretty easy for them." Ozzy was slowly putting together the bits and pieces of conversations he'd overheard in the tavern.

Ben noticed Suzette scowling, "Something wrong?"

Suzette realized what she was doing, flipped her hair back and smiled at him. "No, I'm being silly. It just bothered me to think that my dungeon isn't a challenge to them anymore; makes me sort of sad. They haven't beaten the big boss down on the second level, but I think it’s a matter of time. Makes me wish things would get harder for them. They sort of cheat - running around killing all the little bosses with a big raid. But, whatever; it’s how it is."

"Should we keep going? There are several more of these guys down this way in one branch or another." Suzette was happy with the steady EP and points. The use of the suspend cantrip also made her happy. Not nearly as useless as it looked. It did drain a lot though; she had used several hundred mana just holding it up. Time for a potion or two."

The next fight was much harder. Roquefort the Horde boss hit them from the front. He was preceded by a couple dozen giant rats that blocked attempts to get to him and swarmed over Ozzy and Rolly. Their damage was small because of the armor and mitigation both workers had, but trying to fight with a half-dozen large rodents hanging on to you was tough. Roquefort then attacked with his absurdly big axe which let him reach over his horde.

Ozzy took one nasty hit that cut into his right shoulder for 150 points. The next swing he blocked with the haft of his weapon. Roquefort swung again and again. He seemed limited to giant overhand swings. Ozzie didn't dare miss a block.

Ben was snapping his whip, slowly killing the rats that were nibbling on Rolly, or slipping past him. Suzette got off several Solar Arrows, doing the same. And then something wet and sticky wrapped itself around her throat and started dragging her backwards. She realized too late that Skar Tongue was behind her.

Before the large Rat-kin with the even larger tongue could grab her, Squirmie swooped down and landed on the tongue. All six of his leg talons cut into the tongue, severing it, and causing the boss to scream incoherently.

Suzette didn't feel like talking monster design and instead gasped out the syllables to her cantrip and started pumping out the spells one after another as Squirmie kept the boss busy with repeated slashing attacks as it flew round and round Skar Tongue’s head. When she was steady on her feet and had caught her breath, she extended her fist and triggered The Ring of the Ram. A glowing ram's head materialized, streaked down the hallway, barely missed Squirmie, and slammed the Rat-kin into the wall. Squirmie flew down and finished it off with slashes to its neck while it was stunned.

"Trust me bug, if I had wanted to hit you, I'd have hit you."

Ben saw that Ozzy was in trouble, and moved to the side where he could get a shot at Roquefort. He waited until the giant rat had tried once again to hit Ozzy, trying to push his axe past the haft of Ozzy's billhook. With a clear shot, and the rat-kin not moving, Ben was able to put 3 out of 4 shots into his face. Rolly tore the last two rats off himself, and raced forward. Getting to the side of Roquefort he slashed repeatedly at his left hamstring. The boss fell to the side suddenly as he lost his ability to stand on that foot. Rolly noticed this a bit too late and ended up under the giant rat-kin.

Ozzy and Ben waded in and managed to wound the boss horribly in the next two rounds before Roquefort surged to his feet - and promptly fell again, but at least this time Rolly managed to roll out of the way. Both fights were horribly messy before they ended, with all the workers wounded, but both bosses dead.

You have slain Roquefort, Horde Boss and Skar Tongue the poorly designed. Both level 4 elite bosses.

Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 400 EP towards leveling their class. They also receive 400 EP that may be applied to any stat that was used during this fight.

Ozzy, Ben, Rolly, and Squirmie receive 50 EP in any skill used in the dungeon and 50 in its associated stat for killing trash mobs.

Suzette receives 800 EP towards leveling her class. She also receives 800 EP that may be applied to INT.

Suzette receives 200 EP in INT and 200 EP in Light Affinity for killing trash mobs.

Each party member receives a number of Core Skill Points based on their level.

Suzette: 5 Ozzy: 2 Squirmie:2 Rolly: 2 Ben: 2

Two Tier 1 Loot Chests are waiting for you at the dungeon entrance.

"Damn, now that was a fight. Is anyone hurt badly?" Rolly was moving around, transferring health to people and burning stamina. Everyone took a health potion or two.

"Could have been a lot worse. That was a good ambush. If all of the encounters were like that, there would be a lot more dungeon wipes." Ben was impressed by how that fight had gone bad so quickly. All of them against either boss was trivial. Two at once plus an ambush nearly wiped them out.

Ozzy was massaging his shoulder. It was healed but still hurt. "If the big rat knew how to actually use that axe for more than a basic attack, he might have had me. The little ones were really a pain to deal with at the same time. What say we help Ben get his trap parts and head back. That's a good haul for tonight. We can come back tomorrow and do it again before the war starts up.”

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Weaseltongue the Clever stayed in his hiding spot until the Dungeon keeper and her minions left the area. He'd been following and listening to them for most of the night. He'd taken their advice, found Skar Tongue, and convinced the idiot to ambush instead of just yelling and charging the first chance he got. And it had almost worked. The advice was very good. He needed to make it down to the Under Rodent and face her wrath.

The path to the Under Rodent was clear. The humans were destroying the snapped traps for some reason. Did they think they wouldn't respawn when Snik'Tik returned? Who knew why humans did human things? Down the long, spiral stair he went - his best trap! The Big Rat had been fed recently and didn't eat him. Still, he breathed a sigh of relief when he got past it and could go even further downward to the throne room. She was reclining on her horde and talking with the mayor of the long ears. He waited his turn, made his report, and expected to feel her fangs sink into his poor little body. When he wasn't dead immediately, he opened an eye.

She was just finishing eating the Mayor, taking out her frustration on the long ear and not on Weaseltongue. Her voice was deep and threatening, her claws sharp and her ears beautiful. "The dungeon keeper’s rebukes sting and make us rage. She sees the flaws in the design, and brings a few minions to brutally point them out. If they had come lower tonight, I would kill them all in my rage."

"But she is being helpful. The upper levels really are poorly designed and full of idiots. My predecessor is to blame, but I should have fixed things during the long sleep. You were wise, my little Weaseltongue, both to test her advice in the last fight, and then to brave my wrath. I name you Weaseltongue the VERY clever. You are now in charge of the first level. Make them fear your name."

"Draw four barrels of the dark mana from our storage and use it to make your new designs."

Weaseltongue the VERY Clever retreated and ran to find his new minions. He had so much work to do! He barely stopped to do the happy weasel dance; he was so busy.

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The loot was a bit mediocre. They decided to pool it all, split the money, and take turns picking things. Each party member ended up with 3 gold and 7 silver. A gold went to pay back Suzette for the dungeon fee.

Suzette went first and took a small gold ring that added +1 to mitigation.

Ben took a bag of magical apples that would make a horse run like the wind for an hour.

Rolly took all the cheese. It was in several varieties and came to about 20 pounds.

Squirmy claimed Skar Tongues severed tongue and began eating it noisily.

Ozzy picked up the last item - a bent copper tube with a cap on the end. Inside was a scroll with various sigils and runes. "Looks like a spell. Light based, level 1. Called Dance of the Fireflies. "

Suzette looked up from admiring her new ring. "A spell? I will trade you my finely wrought Ring of minor Protection for that little spell you obviously can't use."

Ozzy grinned evilly, "Can't use? I'll have you know, woman, that I had a point of radiance before you did."

Suzette just flipped him the ring. "And do you want more? That's what will happen if you start casting light spells. And angels! Remember the annoying angels!"

"You win." He handed her the spell.

Everyone else went off to bed or their late-night activities. Rolly and Squirmie were bugging Ozzy to kill them a sedge beast and cut it up for a snack. Suzette went up to the tavern. She lit a candle, poured a glass of wine and pondered the message that had appeared as they left the dungeon.

To Suzette, keeper of my dungeon,

Greetings. Few are brave enough to face my wrath by criticizing my beautiful dungeon. Fewer still offer advice on how to improve it. We may still eat your liver someday, but for now, accept our rewards for your sage advice and proof of your concepts.

We look forward to speaking with you again.

Her most terrible Majesty, Architect of the Dark Dungeon of Bludgeon, Cheese Warden of Gadobhra, and Queen of those who lurk beneath, Wispyburble the Under Rodent.

You have received 8 core skill points.

Congratulations!

You have aided a powerful and terrible creature, shown you can manage at level 1 dungeon, cooked meat muffins and new brews, poisoned friends, mixed your alchemy with your beer, seen the Light of Ra and heard the Laughter of Hermes. You may progress to the second Tier.

Possible Classes include:

Contract Worker - Apprentice Barmaid

More of the same: gain +1 AGI, +1 DEX, +1 CHR and 2 stats of your choice.

Contract Worker - Priestess of Hermes, God of all things Cool

+5 stats, toss them where ever you think is cool. Gain an aspect of magic.

Contract Worker - Sorceress of the Light

Glow with inner light, fight the dark, learn to fly! (wings not included).

+2 RAD, +2 CHR, +2 INT

Charming Assassin Contract Worker - Tavern Keeper

+2 Dex, +2 CHR, +2 AG,

More of the same, only you're the boss.

Contract Worker - Apprentice Alchemist

Potions, poisons, and more potions.

+3 Dex, +3 Con, increased resistances, add knowledge: Chemistry

Succubus of Gadobhra

The position is open, why not apply?

+5 CHR, +5 AGI, +5 COR

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