This morning we had set out to go on an adventure. What I really meant was a carnival. As the winter season was coming to an end, we were entering the carnival season in the transition to spring.
I saw an online brochure of carnivals all over Southern California, put in the request, and were now headed to the closest one with everyone in the dorm.
Including some tag-alongs, but they were supposed to keep themselves undercover.
I glanced out the driver's side of the window to see a black sedan two lanes over. There were several on the road with tinted windows, but it was obvious Professor Markel assigned them to watch over us.
Although I didn't expect anything to go awry and understood it was protocol, this felt a little much. My only hope was that they stayed out of the way enough not to bother the tenants.
"Ugh. This carriage is too cramped. That meddling old human… How dare he take away my beloved steeds," Valeanor said. She had one leg over the other, arms folded, and was bored out of her mind.
Normally, Ange would sit in the passenger seat to be next to me. But because the queen elf had to sit where she thought was most important, we agreed that it was best given to her instead.
"There's no way two horses and a wooden carriage would be allowed on the road." I rolled my eyes, imagining such a thing happening.
"I just can't believe I have to sit in this… metal carriage for over an hour without servants to massage my legs or feed me wine!" she complained.
"Wait a minute… You had that in your carriage?" I asked.
"A pocket dimension. You step inside to an entire mansion. This is possibly a hundred times smaller!"
What the hell. That sounded cool as shit. Now I was mad at Professor Markel for not letting her keep it so that we could have used it.
Suffice to say, she wasn't going to be satisfied with anything we had unless it was a limousine.
"Is that the carnival?" Tamara and Cresta asked, both smashing their faces against the window in the backseat.
A ferris wheel and large blow-up mascot of a clown greeted our arrival. It was too bad we came during the day. When the lights turned on at night, it would be quite the show.
The parking lot was packed to the brim, and finding a spot was a bitch and a half. I finally found a spot way in the back, but it was better than nothing.
"Carnival!" Tamara screamed, hopping out of the car holding Rakka above her head.
"Last one there has to buy us all cotton candy!" Cresta picked Tamara up onto her shoulder and raced towards the entrance.
"Don't run off ahead on your own!" I yelled, but they were already too far ahead to hear me. "Damn it."
"Would you like me to bring them back?" Irapesha asked.
"Nah. Let's just catch up to them."
Valeanor lagged behind. She clutched her shoulders, no doubt chilled to her bones.
"Are you cold? I did tell you to wear a jacket instead of that robe." I sighed.
"Me, cold? N-Nonsense. This is nothing. Besides, a queen must be presentable to the populace. Why would I wear anything else?" Valeanor puffed out her chest, but a gust of chilly wind made her shiver harder than a shake weight.
Ange threw me a look and giggled at her expense.
I offered my hoodie in the most monotonous way possible. "My queen, please take this in my place to shield yourself from the cold."
"Hmph. It… It's about time! Honestly, you should have been more considerate of me sooner!" She snatched the hoodie and threw it on, then walked ahead with the others.
"She has no idea that you wore extra layers knowing exactly that this would happen." Ange embraced me behind to warm me up with magic.
"Figured Valeanor's too proud to admit when she's wrong, so I just gotta work around that." I shrugged.
People couldn't stop staring at us. After all, we were a huge group of netherfolks. Many were just curious, snapping a picture and going back to what they were doing. Some that were seemingly afraid of those different from them shuffled away.
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"Eight tickets," I said to the carnival employee.
"Nine tickets, buddy." The guy pointed a thumb at Rakka.
"Oh, right. Sorry." After I paid, Remmy walked through the entrance and decided to split into four additional Remmys in front of everyone. I turned back to the unamused employee who had his hand outstretched. "Four more tickets, please…"
We entered to fanfares playing on speakers, carnival-goers complaining about rigged games, and sloshed adults having trouble keeping up with their children. This was exactly the American carnival experience I was expecting.
"What are they doing over there?" Ange asked, pointing to a kissing booth where a woman is giving people a peck on the hand and cheek.
"That's a kissing booth. I guess it's for desperate and lonely people who are looking for affection— Wait, you're not thinking about getting in line are you?" I squinted.
"Oh, I would never." She smiled.
"Alright, you guys. There's no way I can keep an eye on all of you, so please—" One quick glance around, and most of my tenants were gone.
"I'll watch over Cresta and Tamara, so don't worry about us!" Ines waved, catching up to the overexcited duo.
None of the Remmys were anywhere to be seen after she entered ahead of us. All who I had by my side were Ange, Irapesha, and Valeanor.
"So we came here to play. When does the fun begin?" Valeanor asked.
"Well, uh… We can kinda do whatever we want. Like play games, go on rides, or clog our arteries!" I suggested.
We explored the amenities as a group, taking photos, buying snacks and souvenirs, but it was clear by Valeanor avoiding things that she wasn't enjoying herself as much as we did.
Eventually, Irapesha came across a high striker. The goal of the game was to hit a platform with a hammer to knock a puck as far as it could go.
This was deja vu with Cresta at the arcade.
"Irapesha, wait!" I called out as she approached the game. "These games are made for human strength, so try not to hit too hard."
"I thought the point was to hit it as hard as I can? How much of my strength should I exert then?" she asked.
There was no textbook quantitative number for me to look into, so I threw one out at random. "Uh. Maybe 10% of your strength?"
"Very well."
The dragonewt flexed her one arm. Two of the carnies supervising the game foresaw the danger and took a few steps back. In a single strike, she smashed the platform, broke the rubber hammer, and knocked the bell into the sky.
Everyone stared in disbelief as it flew out of sight.
"You call that 10%?!" I asked, putting a hand to my face. When I was about to apologize to the carnies, they were already packing their things to leave.
"They don't pay me enough to deal with this." One threw a cat plushie into Irapesha's hands and left.
"I'm going on my lunch break," the other said.
"I apologize…" Irapesha put the stick portion that was left of the hammer down.
"Ange, Valeanor? You two want to try something that doesn't involve destruction?" I asked, but one of them was missing.
"She was next to me just a minute ago," Ange said.
Just then, the loudspeakers on a nearby pole crackled to life. "Will the caretaker please report to the missing person's booth. We have a lost elf waiting for you. I repeat: caretaker please report to the missing person's booth. This elf is getting on our nerves."
"Coming out here was a mistake." I put a hand to my face and groaned.
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