My son has such a powerful voice. He's as loud as to wake up his dear dad, who's literally exhausted.
Ignis startles, still in my arms, and he moves in the bed while looking for the source of this noise.
«It's time for his meal,» I say in the dark. «Soon, someone will cross the door with a lantern.»
«And you let him cry for the whole time?» he talks back. It's annoying, isn't it? Such a high-pitched voice.
«I've turned all the candles off, so I can't get out of bed and roam in the dark, can I?»
«No, but... He's crying, Ronnie...»
«Are you concerned?»
«Yes, of course!»
«Oh, I'm so relieved,» I chuckle, hugging him back and pecking his cheek... or neck, I'm not sure: I can't see anything.
Finally, the door is opened, and the maids storm in. They collect the little thing from the cradle and carry him around for a few minutes before delivering him to me.
«No jolts this time,» I say while uncovering my breast to feed Lars. «Or your dad will get mad at us. He's already fuming like this...»
I keep the energy under control, and Lars stops fighting for it after getting tired. He can use my body to channel magic, which makes him a genius, but I am not as easy to exploit as he'd like.
«Come here,» I say to Ignis.
I wave at the maids, and we're left alone again. The little one is sucking greedily, and I lean on the headrest in search of a more comfortable position. It won't last long because he'll fall asleep within minutes.
«Veronica...»
«Yes?»
«Can I hold him a little? Before he falls asleep again, possibly.»
«Huh?» Specifically, while he's awake?
I thought Ignis wouldn't like him at all. But... Does he want to play with Lars?
«Hey, hey, don't sleep now,» I murmur, passing the half-hungry and half-sleepy child to Ignis. «Your dad is willing to give you some attention!»
«Don't overdo it, Ronnie,» Ignis says, but he accepts the ball of tender meat and white clothes in his arms. He observes Lars with the same smile of the day he was born, and father and son seem to discover each other.
I help Ignis position Lars on his shoulder to help his digestion. Even though without seeing each other anymore, they're still connected.
I can hear a low sound coming from Lars, and then he moves his legs a little. I follow everything with too much attention because he's so lazy with me.
At some point, I clearly hear a hiccup.
Ignis startles, panicking a little.
«Veronica, our son...»
«Oh, how cute,» I chuckle. «He has hiccups... Isn't that so adorable, Ignis?»
«Isn't it dangerous? He's too young for this stress!»
«Don't fret, it's fine. Also, look at how he's happily moving his legs. He's so happy to be with you!»
«Happy? He doesn't seem happy to me.»
He carries him a little in the same position before cradling him again.
«That's because he still doesn't know how to smile. Also, Aida told me he doesn't see very well yet. He will start in a few weeks, so... For now, he will recognise our voices and scent.»
Another hiccup interrupts our conversation, and Ignis's white face makes me want to comfort them both: the child with a desperate, annoyed face; and the adult with a not-less-desperate and worried frown.
But I don't know how.
Soon enough, Lars closes his grey eyes and starts crying again.
«I knew it,» Ignis comments while trying to calm him down. «I should have left him with you. Take him back.»
«No way.»
«Veronica, he's crying... Please...»
«You can just cuddle him a little, and he'll stop. Our son took the chance to stay awake and be with you. Be a little understanding and help him calm down!»
«It's not you but the hiccup. Don't you know how annoying it can be?»
«But why in my arms and not in yours?»
«I don't know. Babies are unpredictable. And I like seeing you two together. It makes me feel that it's worth it.»
We haven't yet managed to calm him down when we both realise what it is that makes our son cry.
«Oh, no,» I murmur when the stink fills the room. This is also related to why Lars has his own room.
«Why with me?» Ignis continues, getting up and searching for a maid's help. «You're doing it on purpose, aren't you?»
«It's out of love,» I remind him, observing how he's caring and careful no matter how annoyed.
Our son's cry wakes up the whole wing of the Palace, and I wonder how I could not hear him the first days after the birth. I must have been so exhausted not to notice such a loud event.
I sit on the bed, waiting for the maids and Ignis to solve the issue, without even considering offering my help. After all, I've already done so much to give birth to that little thing. Now it's Ignis's turn to suffer a little.
It makes me rest assured: that he's willing to get out of bed for Lars, even though I can't help but be worried.
It most likely is just because he's shy... But what if it isn't? I can't allow them to grow up apart from one another, especially not for an unspecified reason.
«It's done,» Ignis sighs while coming back. He lies next to me, hugs me tightly, and he even blows the candles off on the way.
The room falls back into the darkness, and I close my eyes to return to sleeping again.
«He resembles you,» I hear next to my ear. «His eyes are beautiful. And he knows how to be angry as well. A little copy of his mother.»
I would like to get angry and yell at Ignis, but his words only make me happy. If he can joke like this, it means it's nothing serious. We can solve it together like usual.
«He will become handsome like his father,» I say. «And he'll make me worry about his love conquers and relationships... I can picture all the baby girls in the Palace turning their heads to stare at him as they grow up.»
«I want to teach him how to be a good King, but I don't know how to do that. All I've reached so far is thanks to my advisors and a lot of luck. I want our son to be proud of me, one day.»»
«Oh, Ignis,» I sigh. «Isn't it wonderful to have a family? We can plan our children's future like this... Better than we'd plan our own.»
«It's more about wishes than plans, Ronnie. I'm afraid for them, especially for our son. So much...»
He sighs helplessly before remembering something.
«Have I told you about the name?»
«You said tomorrow they'll deliver the announcement. I'm dying in suspense,» I murmur; my tone is sarcastic.
I already have a name for Lars, so I won't play with the court dynamics. I won't feel excited or worried, for he'll stay my son even if he's given a bad name.
«I managed to push it through... His first name will be Laurentius.»
«What?»
«Hmm? You don't like it?»
«Why that name?»
«How come, why? Isn't Laurentius the last Mage who cooperated with humans before the Church established their domain in Alba? I thought you would like that name. Also, it can be shortened to Lars, and I've heard legends about him as well, even though vague. He also was a Mage... A commoner, rising to the title of knight thanks to his ability in swordsmanship and magical arts. Everything about him is lost, but he seemed like a good person, to me. Was it all a lie? Should I have asked you before choosing this name?»
«No, no... Just...» Everything they say about Lars Mogul is a lie. But not in the sense Ignis means.
He was indeed a great warrior, but the official texts depict him like a drunkard and a rogue. They say he was stingy and would have done anything for gold, which is just what mercenaries do, both human and Mages.
«How do you know all of that?» I wonder. Where did Ignis learn so much about Mages?
«After meeting you, I realised there was a lot they wouldn't tell me about your people. As such, I investigated on my own. I've read a lot, and I eventually learned to recognise true information from the embellishments. Or the rumours. Why remember his name if Lars was just a drunkard who bought his wife and brought her home as a tournament prize? He was more than that for sure.»
«He was among the most powerful Mages we've heard of. And he was also one of the last few who cooperated with humans... If not for him, Alba wouldn't have won the war and established its current borders.»
«See? It's a good name!»
«It is,» I confirm. «So good that I was going to choose it if you didn't do it before me.»
Even though I have already chosen it. But now, no one will know who among us was the first. People will assume it was the King's idea, and they won't find fault with the way I call my son.
Using pet names is allowed even for Princes when they're little.
«I can't wait to hear the announcement,» I say. «Lars will be so happy with his name.»
Just like this, I use that name for the first time in front of Ignis. I've feared saying it by mistake; I was worried he would misunderstand. Yet, my precious husband has thought about everything already.
How wicked of me, doubting him. He has never stopped loving us, has he? He just doesn't know how to show it to a baby, but he loves our son just as much as I do.. As much as to carefully choose a difficult name.