Chapter 48: Chapter 48 – Natalie: Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt

As soon as I put my car in park after turning into Julia’s parents’ driveway, I pulled up that stupid quest again.

That was the highest reward yet for a quest, but, frankly, I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to do it. It was stupid, and Julia would never let me live it down.

I obviously wasn’t in the best frame of mind, so, as I walked up to their door - limping slightly because, yes, I was sore down there - I took a second to center myself. I was about to enter the home of one of my oldest, dearest friends, one who was literally dying of cancer. Her family must have been devastated by the news. Compared to that, my sex games with Hugh were of no consequence.

Those thoughts really changed my mindset. This was not about me at all.

Steeling myself to make sure I didn’t walk awkwardly because I did not want to have any conversation about what was wrong with me with Julia’s mom, I rang the doorbell.

Julia had mentioned that her parents were being really overbearing and overprotective, and I totally got that. Mine would have been acting the same. Still, I had maybe a thought that she might have been exaggerating. She wasn’t. At all. I was given written instructions by her mom. Three pages. Typed.

Her mom went over them with me, too. The stuff about what to do in case of a seizure was helpful. I could have seen myself panicking completely in that situation, and a detailed plan to follow was a definite plus. But standing outside the door while Julia went to the restroom to make sure she didn’t have any trouble? Not letting her out of my sight at all? Considering these rules, they would probably have been ticked that Julia left the restaurant for that little walk the other night.

Ugh. Poor Julia. She was always so independent and strong, never really needing anybody. Being treated like that a little kid again, or even worse, must be as bad for her as the actual cancer was.

Eventually, the litany of instructions ended and Julia was allowed to leave with me. She literally let out a sigh of relief when she got in the car. “Freedom. Limited freedom but freedom. Finally.”

As I pulled out onto the street, I said, “That’s got to be rough. I mean, I couldn’t even imagine having to move back in with my parents right now.”

Julia blew out a breath. “Honestly, I’d rather just not talk about it. Avoidance is my main coping mechanism lately.”

That couldn’t be healthy, but I wasn’t going to say anything, considering what she was going through. I thought about changing the subject to talk about what happened to me last night. After all, losing my virginity was such a big deal to me, and it would be awesome to talk to someone I used to be so close to about it. Every time I thought about talking about anything going on with me, though, it just felt so insignificant compared to what she was going through.

“How are you feeling today?” I asked, the obvious subtext being whether or not the increase to constitution helped.

Julia squeezed her hands together nervously. That was weird. She wasn’t someone who usually got nervous, or she didn’t usually show it at any rate.

“After my seizure, it took a couple of weeks to get an actual diagnosis and another week to get a second opinion and a treatment plan, so I’ve been in the zone of ‘something really bad is happening to me’ for about three weeks now. One of the first things they told me to do, and which I started immediately, was to keep a pain diary. Every morning before taking my meds, I write down how bad my head is hurting based on a scale from zero to ten. That first day, a four. Yesterday, a seven. The trend has always been up with some minor variations. I go to six one day and it might be five the next, but never down two. I … wrote down five this morning.”

“That’s good right?”

“It’s fucking terrifying.”

Huh?

“This is all impossible,” Julia said. “The blue panels can’t be real. My actual body can’t be affected by changing a number on one of them. It’s fucking nuts.”

“I tested my IQ on one of those online tests. Then I increased my stat by one. My score went up well beyond the degree of accuracy. It’s measurable, and I can tell that my thinking is clearer. Homework literally got easier. And that’s not all. I have photos of me before and after increasing charisma. There’s a definite change to my face. My eyes healed.”

I glanced over at her, and the look on her face was so angry that I was taken aback.

“I do not believe you,” she said. “I’m sorry, but it is what it is. I think that guy is somehow deceiving you. I don’t know how, but he is. I think that you have the best intentions for me. I don’t think the same of him.”

“Then why are you sitting in my car right now?”

“Because it’s better than sitting at home? Avoidance, remember. And at least this is a distraction.”

It was incredibly frustrating that she was acting like this, and I didn’t even feel comfortable enough to call her out. I mean, she was dying of cancer. She deserved to be angry.

We lapsed into an uncomfortable silence for at least ten to fifteen minutes. Then it occurred to me that, since she felt that way about Hugh, I could at least use it to my advantage.

“Hey Julia?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s something that Hugh wants me to do for him tonight, and, since you’re going to be at my place, I told him I didn’t think you’d want me to. Should I just tell him no considering how you think he’s a charlatan and all?”

“What does he want you to do?” she asked.

“It’s not really important.”

She grinned. “Now this sounds like a proper distraction. Spill.”

My face felt like it was going to catch on fire. “It’s just that he really likes it when I’m naked, you know.”

“Sweetheart, I’m going to tell you a secret. Most guys like that.”

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Yeah. That totally didn’t help. Why couldn’t she have just agreed?

“Well, he sent me a quest that, starting today and lasting for an entire week, I have to be … unclothed in my apartment at all times when I’m there but, since you’re coming over, I thought that would be really uncomfortable for you so I was thinking that, just so you feel welcome, it would be best if I didn’t complete this quest, you know?”

She laughed. “Shy little miss Natalie is going to spend the entire night naked? This I have got to see.”

“But…  But… Don’t you think he’s taking advantage of me? You’re going to allow him to do that?”

“Do you think he’s taking advantage of you?”

“Of course not!”

“Well,” she said, “I have to allow for the possibility that I might be wrong, and I don’t think it’s my place to put myself in the middle of your kinky sex games.”

Argh! Julia and Hugh were both so aggravating and unreasonable. Maybe they should get together.

I didn’t mean that but still.

“I would be naked,” I said. “That wouldn’t be weird for you? We’ve never seen each other undressed.”

“Nat, the first time we ever had a sleepover, we were, what, eight?”

I nodded.

“I remember vividly,” she said. “I started to get changed in your bedroom, and your eyes got wide as I took off my shirt. You ran from the room and then, after I’d finished, you pushed me out so that you could get into your nightgown. The only reason you’ve never seen me naked is that I knew how uncomfortable you were with it. I saw all of my high school girlfriends in various stages of undress all the time. It’s no big deal to most people.”

I gritted my teeth. “So you know it makes me uncomfortable and you just don’t care!”

She shrugged. “I’m not making you do it. I’m not even asking you to do it. I’m just not telling you to not do it. Do what your boyfriend wants or not. It has nothing to do with me.”

Infuriating. Simply infuriating. I couldn’t believe she would deny me this simple request.

“Fine,” I yelled. “I’m taking the skill, then, and it’s all your fault.”

“What skill?”

Oh. I hadn’t told her about that part. My face burned once again as I explained about threatening Hugh with me taking the Bi-Curious skill and whatever happened between she and I would be on him.

“Let me get this straight,” she said, “you have never had, as far as I know, a single sexual thought about a woman, right?”

I nodded.

“And you think that making a choice on one of these blue panels is going to suddenly change that?”

I nodded again.

“I just don’t even know what to say, then.”

“I don’t really care if you believe it or not at this point,” I said. “I’m telling you that I’m going to be naked and if I come onto you or something weird happens between us, I accept no responsibility. That’s on Hugh and on you. Period.”

She laughed. “I formally accept that responsibility.”

There weren’t any cars nearby, and, honestly, I was a little ticked off. Even though I was driving, I pulled up the screen and selected the choice to add the skill, Bi-Curious.

As usual, there was no big, showy change. I didn’t notice that my body chemistry or thinking processes had changed or anything. When I glanced over at Julia, though, I noticed her in a way that I never had before.

I’d always understood, from a purely intellectual perspective, that guys found her attractive, but I never had, not sexually anyway. But when I looked at her sitting in the passenger seat, my eyes were suddenly drawn to her. The way her short shorts showed off so much of her tanned legs. The small tank top clinging to her curves. Her flawless skin and bright eyes.

My car swerved a bit on the shoulder and I had to jerk back into my lane.

“Did you … just check me out?” Julia asked.

“It’s your fault,” I said. “It’s all your fault.”

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