Chapter 208: 208 – Raven Refuses

Raven narrowed his eyes. "So – every time you suddenly have a great insight into someone's character – or you know things about people the first time without ever having seen or heard of them before – that's all thanks to this book in your head?" he asked sharply.

Mana nodded. She had expected that Raven would ask a question like this the moment she told him about the book. But Mana really had no choice. She could not avoid the book altogether – all she could do is misguide him a bit without lying outright.

"You can say that," Mana said softly. "Although not everything is always accurate – but some things are."

Raven sighed and nodded. "I understand," he murmured, but he still looked rather unhappy.

Mana didn't blame him – but then, there wasn't anything she could do about it. There was no way she was going to tell him any more about the book 'The Legend of Mars' – be it the wrong version that was popular in her previous world, or whether it was the supposedly correct version that the ancient master had given her – which was the cause of her current predicament in any case.

"I'm sorry," Mana said softly. "But I can promise you that other than this one thing – I will never, ever hide anything from you as long as it's under my control. I don't like keeping things from you – but sometimes, there's no other way, like this one."

"I'm not blaming you, Mana," Raven whispered. "I just – I know I have no right to demand that you tell me everything, but…"

"Hold it right there, young man," Mana said sternly. "You have every right to demand that I tell you everything I can – we are in this together, and you know that as well as I do. That's why I'm apologising – because this is the one thing that I can't tell you about any more than I already have. Other than this, if I'm keeping things from you deliberately, you have every right to demand that I tell you everything, and if I don't tell you and don't give you a reasonable explanation for it, then you have every right to be angry with me."

Raven sighed. "Then I will promise you the same," he said. "I won't keep things from you unless I need to – and if there is something that I can't tell you, I promise that I will give you a reasonable explanation about why I can't, as well. And if I still don't do that – you have every right to be angry and you can punish me as you please – but just – just don't leave me and don't break up with me. Other than that, whatever you say, however you want to punish me, I'll take it without protest."

Mana stared at Raven for a while, struck speechless, and then she gave him a hug.

"How can you be so adorable?" she asked in a complaining voice.

Raven rested his forehead on Mana's shoulder. "I just don't want to lose you," he said. "And I will do anything – absolutely anything to keep that from happening."

Mana carded her fingers through his soft, dark hair with gentle strokes, soothing him.

"Don't worry," she said. "I have no intention of losing you, ever. You're mine."

Raven looked up and met her gaze with his beautiful rainbow eyes. "I am," he whispered. "So please, Mana, don't leave me alone," he begged.

Mana's heart ached for the boy. He had been getting much better these days, and she had nearly forgotten about the fact that he had plenty of inner demons.

"I can't be like Papa and manage without you," Raven said. "I am not that strong."

Mana was unsettled. "Raven – don't say that, sweetie," she said, caressing his face. "There is much more to you than being my partner. I am not saying that I will leave you or that I will abandon you – but in case something unexpected does happen and there is no choice but to separate – you must promise me that you will live well, not just for yourself, but for me as well."

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Raven shook his head. "That is not possible," he said firmly. "I can't promise you that."

"Raven…" Mana began anxiously, but Raven held up a hand to stop her from speaking.

"Don't force me, Mana," he said quietly. "I know that I can't do it. I need you more than you can ever imagine, and I won't be able to make it through a single day without you – let alone getting through for over ten years like Papa. I just can't. Don't make me promise something that I know for sure that I won't be able to keep."

Mana sighed. "I'm not asking you to make a one sided promise, sweetie," she said softly.

Raven shook his head. "I can't," he said, tears pooling in his eyes. "I can't, I can't, I can't."

Mana pulled the boy into a hug, her heart aching.

"How about we exchange promises?" she suggested. "You promise me that you will live well if something does happen – and yes, we will try our best to make sure that nothing happens, of course, and that the two of us can live a long and happy life together in this world. But just in case something expected actually happens, would you promise me that you will try your best to live well in my absence? And I will promise you that I will try my level best to come back to you as soon as possible. But my motivation for coming back will be you and only you – you realise? If I can't be assured that you will be all right in my absence, I won't be able to make the required effort to want to come back at all – you know?"

Raven burst into tears.

Mana sighed and rubbed his back comfortingly for a long time until he calmed down. Then, she decided that it was probably not the best time to push the boy on this matter any further. She could always revisit the subject later, as and when required.

Mana suddenly understood why Queen Dora had made sure to leave specific and measurable tasks behind for King Jaren when she knew that her end was near. While Mana had a feeling that the matter could have been arranged in a better manner – she knew that no matter what, Queen Dora had been worried about King Jaren and had left behind the baby Mana for him to take care of simply because she was afraid that if King Jaren didn't have a baby – a baby of his own flesh and blood who was sickly and who had tragically lost her mother and had absolutely no one to rely on except King Jaren, but had plenty of enemies who were just waiting for a chance to get rid of her for good – King Jaren would probably have followed his beloved Queen Dora.

Mana wondered how in the world Queen Dora had been able to take a difficult and draining decision by herself – not to mention that it would have required her to steel her heart and take a lot of calculations into account. Mana didn't think that she would have been able to carry out something like that herself. The moment she thought about leaving Raven, her heart ached so much that she felt as if she was dying.

And while she wanted Raven to promise that he would live well in case something happened to her – she knew that it would be very difficult for him as well. After all, they were not just soul mates – they were fated soul mates, and if the descriptions and legends around fated soul mates that they had heard so far from Head Sage Yue as well as King Corvus and Crown Princess Pica – the lives of fated soul mates depended on each other. So, they would really not be able to carry on without each other like King Jaren and Queen Dora, would they?

Mana cursed herself in her heart. She had gotten carried away and forgotten this last bit about fated soul mates altogether – with this in mind, wouldn't it be impossible for Raven to give her the promise she wanted? And why had she been thinking about such morbid things anyway? Had she, too, been more influenced by the reappearance of Queen Dora and what had happened at the imperial palace of the Emerald Kingdom ten years ago, than she had initially imagined?

Perhaps she really had been more shaken up by the extent of what Queen Dora had done, Mana thought to herself, and even more so by the realisation that Mommy Dee and Queen Dora were the same person, and with what had happened later in the sacred ancestral chamber of the Emerald Kingdom, and, of course, by the new pages opening in the book…

It was indeed rather overwhelming.

"I'm sorry," Mana said to Raven. "I won't ask you for stupid promises anymore. Instead, let's work together to make sure that we don't have to separate at all, no matter what!"

Raven finally brightened a little and gave her a tearful smile.

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