Chapter 184: 174. Married

Jay rubbed his hand over his face. He was trying to wipe off the meat sauce his meal had slathered all over him before it met its demise via an [Exceptional Freak]. But Jay’s hands had lots of sauce on it, too. He stared at his sauced-up palms before breaking into crazed laughter that warped the air with purple gravity wrinkles. He didn’t stop laughing until he felt the comforting and challenging presence of his wife looming over him.

“I might’ve lost concentration on the meal,” YoAnna said, her sonorous voice passing through him in waves. Every word made him tremble from the mere pleasure of hearing her directly after months of distance. “A funny thought came to my mind. I was thinking of Lady and The Tramp and that famous scene where they shared a noodle and kissed. And knowing you were so close, I’ve imagined it just a little that it was us. I might’ve added a little too much spice to the spaghetti.”

“Just a little too much, eh?” Jay chuckled a few more beats before regathering his composure. He stood to his feet, his tail wagging with unbridled excitement. He turned and faced his deific wife. “YoAnna, I’m home.”

Little had seemed to change at first glance. The low setting to the interior lights warped around her, causing the nearby shadows to swirl like a whirlpool, smudging the background until the kitchen was completely out of focus. Nighttime light streamed through the open window blinds with a magical intensity only seen in cartoons or animated movies. The starlight twinkled on its way inside. The moonbeams shone with a breathtaking purity. Everything else on the peripherals faded. All that remained was YoAnna, the beginning and the end, highlighted by every light source in the vicinity until she seemed almost ethereal and unreal. Her great and mighty lion’s mane of hair shimmered with a golden light as it reached down to the back of her legs. Her amazonian height and hourglass figure stretched the indoor cotton shorts, halter top, and her gold and black and frilly apron.

Matching sandals adorned her pretty feet, the left one carrying a black anklet with the shrunken skulls of Gilgamesh, Zeus, and King Arthur embedded into the band. Jay smiled at the gift he’d fashioned for her before looking up, and up, and up, where his wife’s face hovered aloft. Both sides of her face were more than happy to see him. The untouched side was the pinnacle of beauty, soft and lovely and welcoming. The side he’d scarred was the pinnacle of ferocity, a different beauty that was bold and savage. And on both sides were golden eyes that shone with divinity. A power that he could feel thrumming with the energy of the largest power plants combined. The further he sensed, the more in tune he felt with her as her godly heartbeat struck like a thousand thunderclaps and had him nearly swaying off his feet. Then when she reached forward and touched his cheek with her hand, he leaned into it and breathed in her earthy scents while feeling the curse that wanted to kill him. It was barred from doing so by YoAnna fighting it with all her willpower. It was a strain for her. So Jay lost himself at the moment for however long it would last.

YoAnna drew back. The fantasy she was curving around her lingered. Jay needed a few seconds to get his bearings again. He wasn’t aware until now YoAnna had used magic to clean him up and change him into something comfortable– a hoodie, joggers, socks, and crocs. Looking down at himself gave him a sense of relief. All his worries and concerns and stresses drained away. He was home. He was with his deific wife. Nothing was perfect. And they had different political opinions in their work life. But he was home. He looked up and saw YoAnna become a little colder and distant. Not all the way, thankfully. She’d mentioned she wanted to find balance. A position that allowed intimacy and friendliness without hurting her husband. As much as Jay shrugged off the divine burns here and there, YoAnna hated it.

“Hello, Jay,” YoAnna said.

“I missed you,” Jay said.

“So did I.” YoAnna looked down at the stains on the floor. The light in her eyes flickered. Her magic cleaned up the mess. “I am not a very good cook.”

“It was pretty wild, honestly. It literally tried to kill me just like Cutie said.”

“That was not my intention. But I think the creation of such monstrosities is a backlash of me going against my nature.”

That sounded interesting to Jay. He slowly reached out with a hand. YoAnna gingerly took it. No damage. YoAnna let out a strained breath as she let Jay lead her to the back patio overlooking the lake. Meanwhile, Jay used his powers to open the fridge and cabinets and gathered the chilled rum, mixers, and some big glasses. By the time he led YoAnna to a patio sofa they could share, he had the drinks floating over to the table right in front of him.

YoAnna curled her legs underneath her and gathered her hair to one side. “Masterful, Jay.”

“Thank you.” He sat with a foot of space between. He took a drink by hand while passing her drink using gravity magic. She took a sip and smiled in delight. It didn’t last for long. She looked away with a hint of sadness showing on the perfect side of her face. The scarred half seemed to have a look of frustration before it hid from Jay’s view.

“So, cooking is against your nature? How come?” Jay asked, although he might have an inkling of why. Still, it was better to hear it from her. It was nice listening to YoAnna’s voice.

“When I was little, and I was maturing my mind to prepare myself for the duties of running a Multiverse enterprise such as ours, I was also carving grooves into my divinity to determine how I wanted to shape my appearance and powers and certain smaller themes as a deity that could prop up my Challenge and Change concepts. When we used to play around in the daycare, I didn’t mind being just a child like you. Before I left daycare for good, I knew I couldn’t present myself as someone silly and carefree and willing to follow.”

YoAnna waved her hand over her face, her bountiful chest, and down the curves of her body. Jay’s eyes followed wherever her hand went. He drank his rum punch a little faster.

“I’ve studied our world’s beauty politics. I knew I had to exude a level of dominant femininity that would hold the rapt attention of everyone I come across. So I built part of my divinity based on this image of absolute beauty, power, and riches. It was easy to do so since I had an enormous amount of power for my age and Stage. And I was the scion of a powerful pantheon before the attacks and genocide. All I was doing was advancing my growth and telling magic and reality to give me what was mine by right earlier than predicted.”

“You could’ve made the world your oyster,” Jay said. “You could’ve ruled it if you really pushed your capabilities to the max.”

“To do so would require me to be cruel and ruthless.” YoAnna looked at Jay over the rim of her rum punch. “To do so would require me to step on all the things you’ve shared with me. All the fantasies in the media you love where the hero and his friends do everything they can to make a better world and fight the biggest evil. I don’t want to be our universe’s biggest evil. And I truly wanted to tailor this experience for you and the others as something wondrous and fun while backed by a coalition of helpful adults we could enlist. It should’ve been a global effort.”

“But you were prepared for this eventuality, too,” Jay said. “An eventuality where the world makes moves to turn against you.”

“I was prepared. I wasn’t prepared for it to happen like this.” YoAnna took a sip of her drink before she reached into her cleavage and pulled out the ambered teddy bear Jay had stolen for her back in daycare. She stroked her fingers over it while it rested on top of her chest. “Nonetheless, this isn’t the time to talk about all of that. I believe this ramble of mine was leading to why I’m a failure at cooking.”

“If your goal was to make dishes that can bite back, you didn’t fail at that,” Jay said, smiling.

YoAnna let out a piglet laugh. It was nice hearing that. “As I was saying, I focused my growth and maturity in a direction where I existed as a queen, and it is the duty of my servants to take care of everything that is beneath my archetype. Unfortunately, I didn’t think that through very well and my younger self might’ve carved the grooves a little too passionately.”

“Younger YoAnna is a darling.”

“I would sit Younger YoAnna down and warn her of everything I could,” YoAnna said. “But to tempt time travel would risk my annihilation and more consequences.”

“Is that a thing?”

“I’m not going to speak on that lest fate writes it into the narrative and leads us to do unfathomable damage.”

“Fine, fine.” Jay poured himself another glass of rum punch. “Why are you doing stuff you could have Elada do?”

“For you, Jay. I want to do the wife-like things for you. It… feels special. And I know Brit can do that stuff better than me. But I want to try anyway while she’s away.” YoAnna looked down and puffed her cheeks in annoyance. It was as if she was aggravated by admitting something deeply personal and weak. It took Jay a few seconds to realize what was happening here.

“Are you jealous of Brit?” Jay asked, amazed.

“An errant thought struck me weeks ago that Brit would eventually have better control of herself. The Holy Affinity is vast and powerful, but it could only divert so much of itself against Brit. When she returns, she will be enormously powerful, and she can do things for you that I can’t.”

“But isn’t that what you want?” Jay asked.

“It is what I want,” YoAnna said with a huff. “Brit and I are very compatible. She even looks at me as first among wives, still, which is so kind of her. And she wants nothing but to support me and push me toward things I’ve allowed to languish.”

“But you’re still a little jealous she could do the cooking and cleaning and the housewife stuff you can’t,” Jay stated. “I’m a little lost. I thought the human stuff didn’t concern you.”

YoAnna sighed. “It didn’t. But then you’ve married me. You’ve given me this.” She raised her hand where the moonrock was strapped to a band around her ring finger. The nighttime lights twinkled and brightened with its raising, spotlighting it in such a way that it could be seen from all across the lake.

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“I never thought it would go this far so fast,” YoAnna said, prodding the ring with her other hand. Then she reached down and traced her nails over the anklet embedded with the skulls of her enemies. “All I’ve done is send you off to danger time and time again. That’s what I’ve done with everyone. And all I can do is sit here and wait.”

“You’re the one that’s keeping magic nukes from blowing up Florida,” Jay said, feeling a little frustrated. YoAnna could get so harsh with herself. He wanted to hold her and remind her she was doing plenty already. But he had to wait and let her initiate. He could tell she was doing everything she could to hold back the thing that wanted to hurt him.

“I wish I could be out there with you again just like in the Battle for Paris,” YoAnna said. “Brit will return soon. She will conquer the issue with the Holy Affinity and stand as a powerful Champion at your side. Perhaps as the most powerful champion, though I’m still holding out for one of my riskiest projects to rebirth anew.”

Casey.

Despite Jay’s growing awareness and influence on the Multiverse, YoAnna was still leaps and bounds ahead of him on nudging things along. But she had confided in him that his help in developing Casey would be much appreciated. What would come from Casey’s development, Jay wasn’t sure, but YoAnna worked in mysterious ways. She was most likely pleased by Dennis’s development of the Ultimate Affinity. That affinity felt like a gambit, but it was certainly powerful.

With Casey being the last Champion without an affinity, Jay imagined her development had a lot weighing on it. Could it be that the eventual showdown between Casey and Brit was also something YoAnna might’ve nudged? No, Jay didn’t think she would nudge that on purpose. It was more likely YoAnna saw it coming before anyone else did and allowed it to develop naturally. Though, having Brit’s status raised could lead to other things that were of YoAnna’s machinations.

“It might be time to elevate Brit as more than a Champion,” YoAnna said. “As strangely insecure as she makes me feel, she deserves more power. I think she’s ready to take on more responsibility especially.”

Jay nodded along. If it wasn’t for Brit, the animal spirits for Champions without familiars wouldn’t have happened. YoAnna had spoken quietly how she’d gleaned such information about animal spirits from the personal archives in her family’s holdings passed down to her. This and her trips around the world and seeing the sacredness of animal spirits had led to creating the Beast Boons. She hadn’t spoken on it too much because she suspected the transition from boons to spirits would happen on their own if she waited. She hadn’t expected it to happen so soon, which was good. It would’ve been a little problematic if all the Champions had received familiars and removed their options to gain animal spirits.

It was possible to gain the animal spirits if they ended their ties with their familiars, but Jay, Mike, and Lilith would rather keep what they got going as the other Champions explored the depths of having animal spirits. From what Jay had seen the past half year, having animal spirits– or beasts when regarding Frank’s Dragon Dragon– allowed Champions to accomplish a larger range of magical feats. They could touch on [Medium] matters easier. They could use their animal spirits to channel their affinities, Skills, Talents, and Titles. Or their animal spirits could enhance spellcraft or incantations. The wide flexibility of having animal spirits plus the added AP gains spirits granted was honestly amazing. It added more stuff to study for Miraculous Magic Science, especially since YoAnna wasn’t too forthcoming on information. Nonetheless, Jay knew Mike and Hailey were looking into ties between affinities, animal spirits, the soul, and why all of that might’ve upset the 777th Heavenly Realms Dungeon other than granting Champions extra power they wouldn’t have otherwise.

Jay was pretty sure he’d gotten the better end of the deal by having used his Monkey Boon to help gain the Eldritch Monkey Scion race. And no animal spirit could replace having a familiar like Kleo who could split off and fight halfway across the world or support her master in all the areas Jay would struggle in. Lilith wouldn’t sacrifice her connection to Gatanna. Mike liked Fuzzy a lot since she was an amazing helper. He’d asked Cutie if she wanted to break things off. She’d told Mike she would get back to him with an answer. That was months ago. No answer. Cutie remained as Mike’s familiar. With all that said, there was no doubt that Brit would be the biggest winner right now since she’d unlocked the animal spirit option under the most outrageous of conditions. She’d even gained some new powers in the Talents and Titles of her profile from her incredible endeavor rebelling against the Holy Affinity– which was another subject of study since affinities seemed to be more than just extra conceptual or elemental powers. Either way, all the support they’d given Brit with extra Attribute Crystals and Free AP was getting ready to cash in depending on if Brit could keep from killing her husband for being part eldritch.

“Brit’s probably hella strong,” Jay said. “I agree that she should be elevated.”

“I will consider a name for the occasion,” YoAnna wriggled a little closer to Jay. With her sandals off, she settled her foot against his thigh and prodded him lightly with her toes. “Though, it would seem unfair that the Luckruns have so much power and status. We will look like an oligarchy.”

“We already are. We rule Florida… even North Florida.” Jay shrugged. “Congrats on trying to be welcoming and fair until I ruined all of that with misplaced [Godling] blood.”

“I’m the one who tried to take away your love for me.” YoAnna shook her head ruefully. “I’m glad you defeated me. You wouldn’t be you if I’ve succeeded.”

Truthfully, the System Admins should take all the fault. But the Protectorates lacked proof. It was pretty much a running theme for Jay, YoAnna, and all the Champions to embody blame. Sometimes, it was humorous. And sometimes it felt like a lash on the back by their own hands.

Jay nodded as he slowly reached down and ran his finger over the anklet. Then he gently rested his hand on her foot and waited. The divinity and the curse hummed in battle under her flesh. It was incredible that she could fight what seemed like a powerful curse just so she could lounge beside her husband intimately. Nothing came easy in the life of a Luckrun, apparently. Well, YoAnna seemed up to handling that challenge if she was going to saunter around wearing his name as Mrs Sainte-Luckrun.

“Huh, I need to give Kleo my name,” Jay said. “Bondye, too, if we get to see each other again.”

YoAnna’s mouth curled upward. “The Multiverse will tremble in fear at the mention of your name, husband. The Luckrun rulership will spread from galaxy to galaxy, universe to universe, never knowing when to stop or quit. Such a scary thing. Such unruly ambition.”

Jay grinned. “Every time you say ‘unruly ambition’ I’m thinking that’s a turn on for you.”

Jay received -500 HP of damage.

YoAnna switched into cold and robotic mode. Jay sighed. He was going to scoot back and give her space when she pinched the bottom of his hoodie with her toes and held him. She set her drink aside and shifted closer to him. Before he knew it, her arms were wrapped around him, and she hugged his face into her cleavage. The power of her divinity was distant. And while her flesh was physically warm, he felt a conceptual coldness from her that would unnerve most perceptive people.

But Jay was well practiced at this song and dance now. He shifted back onto a sofa pillow and pulled YoAnna onto him. Her hair fell everywhere like a shroud as they laid together. His tail wrapped around her waist and held her close. They stayed like that for a while, knowing younger Jay would’ve loved this a lot. But he was a little older and wiser.

He knew this was not the true YoAnna, but just a body. It was her body, yes, but she was more than just flesh. Nonetheless, he planted a kiss on her neck, knowing she would slowly enjoy this moment on her own time later. Before he knew it, Jay fell asleep in complete bliss. But then he awakened with a fierce need. He was thirsty and hungry and a tad desperate.

“My body is yours, husband,” YoAnna said coldly.

“It is,” Jay said. “But it’s not ready.”

“I hate how this is frustrating for you.”

“Killing whoever cursed you to be this way will make this all worth it,” Jay said.

“That is a tall order,” she whispered.

He gently separated himself from her and patted her on the cheek. Morning light peeked over the horizon, heralding the arrival of a new day. With nobody around but him and his deific wife, Jay grabbed a paper towel and worked off the pressure.

Feeling at ease, he invited YoAnna for a swim. He undressed until he was wearing only his underwear. Before he hit the water, YoAnna used magic to swap in his swimming trunks for him. Then Jay struck the water with a splash!

Jay enjoyed the refreshing coolness and the casual blessing the lake received from YoAnna’s nearness. It felt amazing. He stayed under the surface and watched many monstrous fish swim by. Most were neutral. Some were friendly. Others looked at Jay as prey, not knowing his true power.

Then a large shadow engulfed the area around Jay and sent the fish swimming away. He looked up. His deific wife was twenty-five feet tall now, and her butt struck the water like a bomb and rammed into her husband.

He slipped away before he got squashed against the lake floor. He swam in between her legs and popped up under the shade of her breasts. Her bikini left little for imagination. Jay found a strap and scrambled up before diving off her chest. Most if not all of his powers turned off to let himself be at the whims of gravity. YoAnna added to the fun by lifting him up into the air with her hand as he flipped into different dives.

The world was a mess outside. The greatest war Earth would ever see was brewing. Jay had argued with YoAnna over how to proceed forward. YoAnna hoped the Summer Solstice Ball could calm things down. Jay was prepared for the war to ramp up in intensity. Meanwhile, there were internal concerns Jay needed to look into such as Macy’s withdrawal from direct conflict and taking inventory of their most dangerous products in the vaults in case they had to break out the ‘Make the Geneva Conventions Cry’ plan. And at any moment, Beren could pop up and be a nuisance of a nemesis.

But Jay and YoAnna spent the morning having some fun regardless of everything weighing on their minds. She eventually warmed back up again, too. She smiled and laughed while Jay climbed her hair, swam around her body, or used her breasts as diving boards. He had to take some divine damage here and there, but it was totally worth it. Seeing YoAnna visibly enjoy his presence as her husband refilled him with the motivational energy he needed to keep doing his job and live up to the responsibilities of Pantheon Commander. The only way to make this better was to have both of his wives around more often.