Chapter 7: The Hare Show – Character List

  Main Character:

 

Hare - A Snarky, Sarcastic, Egotistical, Reckless, Rude, Talkative, Smug Badass teenager. He is very Free-spirited and says whatever comes to mind has no filter, and can be very offensive although unintentionally. He is slightly Homophobic as he thinks Homosexuality is kinda weird but he doesn’t flat out hate it. He is although usually the cause of his own demise and his own success and sometimes he has to be humbled. He is also a dumbass

 

—----------------- Relatives

 

Rabbit - Very Smug, and Sarcastic, but knows how to reign it in he is very Kind and respectful to people. And also loves both Hare and Bunny (he does love Bunny more tho), Rabbit is Mature and he is very Quick Tempered, but he never truly means harm. Rabbit is also trying to fit in and impress people like his Boss.

 

Bunny - A sweet little boy who never causes problems intentionally. He is kind, sweet, but is oftentimes made fun of by the other boys for liking Unicorns and Rainbows, and is very innocent minded. He can be a baby and oftentimes be the snitch and a wrench in the Plan for Hare. Bunny also has a knack for unintentional troubles (Finding a gun, Prostitiution, N-word) but he never causes problems. Bunny hates Eddy the most.

 

Lepus - A huge nerd he loves all things media related. He loves Anime, Cartoons, Books, Mangas, Movies, and even knows about web series he constantly says internet terms and is a proud Discord moderator. Lepus also sucks when it comes to talking especially towards women and can say some of the weirdest shit towards a girl like “Can I touch your tiddy” or “Wanna deepfuck me”, Lepus does become a girl tho and he stays that way for a while.

 

—--------- Relatives

 

Joskin - A complete unapologetic asshole who gets enjoyment off of watching other peoples torment, when it comes to being an asshole he has no limits he will make you drink bleach, burn down your house, fuck your girlfriend. He has no problem with using racial slurs, and says them almost in every sentence. He is however a complete idiot not knowing 1+1 or even what the number 4 is, he is also really weak and gets his ass kicked by everyone, even a kid in a wheelchair, even an anorexic person.

 

Fairy - A highly intelligent mastermind was able to build Craig Anderson a robot arm, was able to change Lepus’s gender and was even able to stop a meteor. Fairy’s intelligence is unmatched by anyone in the show. Fairy is also a certified Slut she has slept with every boy in town, even grown men, and for free. Fairy is just as smug and as snarky as Hare if not more, she is also Hare’s friend with benefit. Fairy is very Smug and is just as arrogant as Hare if not more arrogant and she can be extremely petty.

 

Yunda - An Immature crazy, stalker Bitch, and has a deadly Crush on Hare Thomas. And hates all of his friends. She is his certified yandere and will do anything to be with him even though she could be killed she is supportive of him no matter what. 

 

Craig Anderson - An alcoholic sixteen year, insanely addicted to alcohol, however he has many other traits. Craig Anderson is Goal Driven, and would do anything to achieve said Goal. he is also very apathetic to people’s feelings even has a quote

“Look I have tried to care about your feelings I have but I just can’t help but think fuck this mans feelings”

Craig Anderson is oftentimes in his own world and is barely aware of what's happening. Craig Anderson is also Xavier’s Boyfriend.

 

Jamal - A very black kid, he routinely says the N-word like Chicken, Kool-aid, does crack cocaine, has no father, and has terrible grammar. He’s Reckless, Rambunctious, Brave, and is very vulgar. He is also really good.

 

Torch - The living embodiment of Sarcasm, everything he says is sarcastic, and he likes flipping people off.

 

Jeff - A racist white kid he hates all Niggers, Retards, and Faggots. He worships Hitler and hates “The diary of Anne frank”, and is a hard core republic, and loves shotguns.

 

Ling-Ling - An asian kid who says “Bing, Bong, Ching, Bong, Ling” and other similar words, he has trouble seeing and is very intelligent. He also is really good at making Rice and owns a rice farm. Ling-Ling is best friends with Jamal.

 

Edna - Edna believes that she is a catgirl, and has admitted to licking herself. A self proclaimed cat girl, she meows and even becomes one of Hare’s pets for a temporary amount of time.

 

Reggie - A kid with extreme Adhd problems, he is bipolar, nervous, Anxiety, Tweaks out, Stutters, and is very hyperactive and cowardly but will do anything for Penny, even end up dying. Reggie is so Hyper then he can outrun a trail, and is the fastest boy in the school. EVen though he has trouble communicating he usually has the best interest.

Penny - Penny is a magician obviously, but with one downfall it takes ten minutes for her wishes to work. The main traits about penny though is that. She is oftentimes Determined, Supportive, and Optimistic. She can also be gullible sometimes, and she loves Reggie more than any of the other characters, and Penny is very quick to trust someone.

 

Cacrizarp - Cacrizarp is an alien from another planet, Cacrizarp is oftentimes made fun of for being an alien and constantly tries to fit in. He would do anything to be an American, he is also the prince of an Alien clan and people are always out to get him, and assassinate him. Cacrizarp has a third eye and wears a big cap.

 

Mime - Mime is mute, because he was mute he decided that he should learn sign language and become a Mime. Mime is very sarcastic and oftentimes gives disappointing stares to the other characters. Mime is Sadistic and likes to fight. He is also a pervert and carries a copy of Playboy, gallery, or hustler magazine wherever he goes. 

 

Weed - An anthropomorphic weed, who is constantly High there is nothing he loves to do more than smoke. When he is high he says and does a bunch of random shit, that could get others hurt.

 

Eddy - Eddy is the kid everyone hates for no reason. People in the town hate Eddy, people in the country hate Eddy, the whole world hates Eddy, even inanimate objects hate Eddy. People in different universes hate Eddy. Eddy is not only unlucky he is also very sarcastic and responds to every form of hate with a sarcastic remark.

 

Wendy - Wendy is a super political, Democratic, Left leaning, and ofcourse she takes everything Personal. Wendy is best described as a narcissist who tries to enforce her belief unto others,and she always believes that People of Color, gays, and Women are usually in the right. Is routinely blinded by her own sense of justice, gets extremely violent if you don’t agree with her, and is really to fuck up someones life. Wendy is unstable.

 

Piere - Pierre is a hardcore Christian boy, he is often times sweet, happy-go-lucky and is super duper nice. Pierre is borderline retarded, and will do whatever you tell him no matter what and can be easily lied to. Piere can even be outsmarted by Bunny, and Hare easily. Piere is oftentimes confused and is even sheltered by his parents.

 

Natas - Natas is Bunny’s best friend/enemy, Natas is oftentimes Bunny’s rival when it comes to pretty much anything grades, Money, Girlfriends, and ofcourse Attention. Natas can be best described as a thug who likes to watch other kids torment probably because he is the brother of Joskin and Joskin treats him like shit. Natas has a criminal record and is wanted in 49 states. He also wants to take Bunny’s girlfriend

 

Keith and Dray - These two are the laziest McDonalds employees ever. The whole reason they aren’t fired is because nobody else wants to work with them and under their boss. Keith and Dray are both Lazy, Stubborn horny assholes. Keith wants to become a famous rapper and has a soundcloud account with 10 followers, meanwhile Dray is trying to gte a girlfriend and fails fucking miserable.

 

Red Rider - A kid who skateboards and wears a backwards cap. Red Rider says “Yolo” or “Radical”, and can best be described as a frat boy. Despite all this he is one of Hare’s closest friends but is very unreliable, Red is lazy and undriven in life with all he wants to do is skateboard and surf.

 

Nene - the psychopathic Girlfriend of Bunny and the sister of Nana. Nene can be described as an angry black woman who is violent and is the half-sister of a fairy. Nene slaps and even abuses Bunny on a daily basis

 

Nana - A sweet little girl who never causes problems, half sister of Yunda and Fairy. Nana is a sweet little girl who is kind to everyone who gets treated like shit by her sister.

 

Dark Narwhal - A crime fighting Vigilante who uses Pure violence to stop crime, he is willing to kill criminals, break the law and harm others to stop crime. He is deranged and has cameras all around the town, he contains his secret identity by wearing a pair of glasses. He even broke a boy's spine for stealing legos.

 

Xavier - The Class Clown, The prankster, nothing is off limits with his pranks. Drugging people, Arson, Murder, Kidnapping, assited suicide, and he has done every crime in exsistence. He worships the god of pranks, Sam Pepper. Xavier is the boyfriend of Craig, and Craig is usually his assistant. Outside of His pranks he is also kindof a dumbass, but he is super smart when he does a prank.

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Coraline - Coraline is a girl who refuses to wear clothes and is Xavier’s girlfriend

 

Jack - The secret twin of Hare Thomas, and is the coolest kid on the planet. He is missing an ear, and he is living a rich life, and was happy when he found out his parents died, so now he can't share his wealth. Jack is so cool that everyone loves him, and is pretty much the opposite of Eddy.

 

Gold Igga - Gold is the self proclaimed best Gold Digger on the planet, and even owns a school where she teaches kids how to gold dig. Gold is A slut, Money Hungry, and has a rivalry with Hare, Since she is one of their rivals.

 

Prince of Hate - Hates everyone and everything in the planet, is extremely violent, and aggressive, and is willing to fight anyone or anything that opposes him, he is secretly the son of The King of Hate, and is a proud School Shooter.

 

Tyler - Tyler has a Lisp, Crutches, Bell's Palsy, Autism, OCD, Death in one ear, Bline in one eye, Diabetes, and Dyslexia. He is oftentimes envious and jealous of the other kids, and hates having disabilities and wishes everyone was the same as him, and is one of the very few kids who doesn’t antagonize Eddy he hates him but does not antagonize him.

 

Randy Rollo the pimp next door - A misogynistic, money hungry pimp. He teaches Hare the ways of being a pimp, but is only good at fighting women.

 

Sugondese - A super gay kid who likes Boys and money, and does borderline Illegal shit to Hare. Sugondese also had an affair with Joskin at one point.

 

Rocus - Rocus is Reggie's dog who has rabies and can not die. Rocus is aggressive and barks at 2am. The only person who likes him is Reggie even though Penny hates the damn mutt.

 

Tom - Tom is an emo depressed kid who smokes cigarettes and reads shakespeare. He likes Acdc but hates Hot Topic, Tom sees no point in life, Tom is also a hypocrite and hates conformist despite telling people to become like him. Tom is rather nihilistic. 

 

Mayor Miller - Mayor Miller is a corrupt, money hungry, greedy, envious, selfish, cowardly mayor of the town, and would do anything to win the election. She is the mother of Eddy and oftentimes treats him like shit, she is the second most hated person in the town.

 

Std Man - A giant man baby who fights crime by giving Criminals STD’s using blood transfusion techniques. He is the superman to Dark narwhals batman and he can even fly, he is extremely buff. STD Man has every STD on the planet, because he refused to wear a condom, and has a wrapped sense of justice.

 

Juan - A Mexican. a kid who loves tacos and Soccer, he only speaks in spanish. He is often times very chill, he is a proud Illegal immigrant

 

Alexandre - A French kid who loves baguettes and Croissants , he is a reckless flirt and oftentimes says “hu huh hu”, and routinely talks about France Rats. Alexandre is a very very bold man and loves painting.

 

Abuela - the Homophobic and Transphobic grandmother of Juan, she hits people with sandals, and talks in her natice tongue. She has a deep hatred of Americans.

 

Exceler8 - A robot built by Fairy to be her sextoy, only for him to go rogue. He now has his own personality and hates Fairy. Exceler8 is often times Jack's best friend, as no matter what they are together.

 

Happressed - Happressed has two sides to her The super happy side and the super depressed suicidal side her personaily can change on a whim, and she is super unpredictable.

 

Head priest - An undercover pedophile.

 

Nihilistic Nurse Naria - She is a super depressed, super nihilistic nurse, but is the only doctor in town she makes mistakes like putting the heart where the brain goes. Naria doesn’t car about anyone.

 

Street Cleaner - Street Cleaner is the alter-ego of Hare Thomas, Street Cleaner hates old people, because they take too long to cross the road here is his famous information. 

 

“Have you ever been late to a meeting and some old man refuses to cross the road? Call me I will appear and I will slap that old man across the road. He gets to his destination faster and I get to my destination faster. Call 111-222-6969.

 

Rich Boy Winston - A rich, arrogant asshole. He owns the whole town and the residents; his dad owns Microsoft, Google, Yahoo, Twitter, Tesla, Youtube, Lenovo, Windows, and Kellogs. Winston is incredibly smart for a kid his age, even rivaling a fairy in intelligence. He lives in a secluded part of the town.

 

Karma - Karma is a being since the dawn of time her job is to keep track of the good and the bad she has a list of everyone. Joskin for example has low karma so bad shit will happen to him, while Piere has high karma so good stuff will happen to him. Karma is oftentimes a hate filled woman, who hates her job and wants someone else to do it.

 

Kweeny - The girlfriend of Alexandre and she is a valley girl and a bad bitch. She says “Slay” and “Yas queen” While using ``like in every sentence. She is very aggressive, she also has a crush on Hare.

 

Jeffrey - Jeff is clinically insane, he levitates instead of walks and has a Fire obsession.

 

Omar - Omar is a muslim who worships muhommad he is a terrorist, and he workd for ISIS. Omar is also overly-sensative and is the second worse at fighting when he doesn’t have a bomb on him.

 

Anorexia - A girl who starves herself, I don’t know why she’s really weird.

Balk - Balk is an incredibly sensitive Fatboy, who drinks butter. Balk is very sensitive and is very insecure about himself, he often hangs out with Anorexia.

 

Cthulhu - Cthulhu is well Cthulhu.

 

Snow Hare  - Snow hare is the complete opposite of Hare he nice, careful, humble,  isn’t snarky, but he is also a big pussy, and he is gay. Snow Hare is very intelligent.

 

King Of Foot Fungus - He is the self proclaimed king of Foot Fungus.

 

Harry - Harry is a british boy who likes tea and crackers, and has really bad teeth.

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