Chapter 32: Chapter 31 – The Incident

In her own way, Helvia had also been able to show her affection for him. If she was the one who took over most of the time, she had been able to leave this place to Raviel from time to time. She had also ensured that the humiliations were fewer. Her upbringing had made her what she was, selfish, manipulative, and ready to crush others for his own pleasure. But Raviel could sometimes see her qualities when he wasn't too busy hating her.

“Aster, I am so…”

He hesitated, not being sure of really being able to put words to what he was going through.

“I feel no desire. Nothing.”

A troubled glow furtively crossed Aster's brown irises.

“So what?”

Sadness invaded Raviel's face.

"Who could accept that?"

Aster sketched a tender smile.

“My mother used to tell me to find a woman who loves me for who I am. Helvia obviously had her issues, but you shouldn’t give up. I’m sure there is a woman out there for you.”

“Do you really…”

Raviel turned his head, unable to finish his sentence. Someone who would love him for who he is… The idea that he could enjoy making love with a person he would fall in love with, if not feeling a real sexual attraction, crossed his mind. But soon, his memories overwhelmed him again. Silence invaded the room for long minutes until Raviel resumed in a low voice:

“One day, Titus ​​and Orphelia suspected something. They took advantage of an evening when Helvia was absent because of family obligations to come and see me.

“I think you suspect what they wanted,” he admitted in a low voice.

Aster nodded slowly, his gaze dark. Raviel's body shook against his. He still remembered Titus's words. From his hands on his hips.

“Don't move, Raviel. You dare steal Helvia from me. You must have been ready to suffer the consequences since you were so daring.”

No one had known, but Titus ​​and Orphelia had tortured him that night, despite all Raviel's attempts to fight back. His lack of power had never pained him so much. It had lasted several weeks, or maybe even several months, during which they took advantage of each absence of Helvia to mutilate Raviel’s body. They left him in tears with scars all over his body… Until the day when everything went wrong.

Raviel glared at Titus ​​and Orphelia, daring them to come closer. He still held his sword in his hand, since he had spent long minutes cleaning it following the fighting that had taken place earlier in the day.

“Get out!” He ordered.

"What are you going to do with your sword? It has never been of any use to you against us…”

“I wouldn't hesitate to use it, though,” Raviel hissed.

He held out the blade in front of him. He was aware that this was a dangerous game. Using metal in the presence of Titus ​​could lead to his downfall, but he counted on the pride of the young man not to use his Gift immediately. He knew him well enough to know that Titus ​​liked to drag things out. Orphelia worried him less, although she possessed a Gift stemming from the Warrior. Raviel had learned to fight with his father, who was far more powerful.

Yet it was Orphelia who advanced first. Raviel shuddered, and anguish twisted his belly. He wasn't sure he could take it one more night.

"Your blade is shaking," Orphelia mocked

Raviel grits his teeth.

“Step back!” He hissed.

But Orphelia continued to advance, under the sardonic eye of Titus, and it was Raviel who took a step back.

“You won't do anything, because you're too weak. Without Gift…”

Raviel took another step back, his sword still outstretched in Orphelia's direction. She moved so quickly that Raviel had no time to escape, and her free arm found itself trapped in an iron grip.

“Let go of me!”

He tried to control the intonation of his voice so as not to shout and thus attract unwanted attention, but the panic crept through his veins like poison. Orphelia put her other hand behind his head, tugging harshly on the silver locks to keep him from moving. Raviel closed his eyes, and his fingers trembled on the hilt of the sword. He did not want. He didn't want to feel Orphelia's breath on his face or his hands on his body.

He did not want it.

His arm moved so quickly that no one could react. The sword sliced ​​through the air, and blood spurted as it ripped through Orphelia's throat.

“No!”

Titus ​​pushed Raviel away so hard that he crashed into the wall with a gasp of pain. But it was too late to help Orphelia. She collapsed to the ground, choking on his own blood. Moments later, she was breathless, her features frozen in an expression of incomprehension. When she realized that there was no more hope, Titus ​​threw himself on Raviel in anger.

“I'm going to kill you!” He roared. “I swear I will kill you!”

Raviel let out a scream as his back hit the wall again. Titus ​​violently grabbed his hair to make his head suffer the same fate. Once. Twice. Raviel tried to push him away, but it was a waste of time. Titus' fingernails clawed at his skin, and his fists dug into his stomach, hitting his face.

The pain became omnipresent. It was exploding throughout his body, ravaging him inside and out, and wringing more and more stifled complaints from him. Several of his bones had given way from the force of the blows, and a metallic taste had invaded his mouth.

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Titus ​​threw him brutally to the ground and sat astride his thighs to immobilize him. Raviel was covered in blood, Orphelia's and her own, and couldn't put two coherent thoughts together. He managed to draw his dagger by pure survival instinct. He cut sharply into Titus's face. The latter uttered a cry of rage and hit him with all his might in return.

Raviel screamed.

He screamed as Titus ​​worked hard to destroy him. He screamed as his tears rolled down his skin, leaving behind reddish streaks as they mixed with the blood. He screamed. He wanted to die.

“What is happening here?” Someone cried.

Through his pain and the haze numbing his senses, Raviel thought he recognized the voice of their instructor.

“Enough, Titus! You will kill him!”

“Helvia…”

His breath was lost behind the screams. He suddenly felt the weight of Titus ​​leave his body.

"Stay out of this, Helvia! I will dig his grave, and I swear he will suffer before I bury him there!”

Raviel felt the Gift of Helvia stretch across the room, then a hand rested on his cheek while another lifted the back of his neck slightly. A groan escaped him.

"Helvia, take him away!" Their instructor ordered. “I will take care of Titus!”

Raviel barely felt Helvia reach an arm under his knees and another behind his back to lift him up. His consciousness was drifting dangerously towards misty shores. He didn't know how long it lasted, but Helvia finally put him down on a soft surface.

"You're in my room," she whispered. “But you have to tell me what happened.”

Raviel struggled to open her eyes.

“I…”

He was seized with a sudden fit of coughing, and this tore a painful sob from him.

“I…killed Orphelia.”

“Why?”

Helvia was careful not to let any emotion seep into her voice.

“Why do you think I did it?” Raviel whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The reproach snapped in the air, but Raviel did not answer, so Helvia continued in a firm voice:

"You risk being executed!"

“I know…”

Raviel's vision darkened, and he couldn't hear Helvia's response, unconscious.

A tear traced a lonely furrow on his cheek. Aster patted his shoulder in comfort, but he knew he didn't have the power to ease Raviel's pain.

"I woke up in a cell, in which I spent several days," he continued in a low voice. “Judgment came quickly. The decision was a foregone conclusion. I had killed a patrician.”

He swallowed as the memories came flooding back to him. He could almost feel the white-hot iron moving closer to his forehead, ready to carve into his skin the crime he was accused of.

“But Valens intervened.”

He closed his eyes, trying to draw some strength from Aster's presence.

“He managed to spare me by arguing that I had been tortured repeatedly over several days and therefore could not be found guilty. He said I had legitimate reasons to fear for my life and ruled it to be self-defense. He then stripped Titus ​​of his rights.

Raviel inhaled weakly.

“But I keep wondering if it wouldn't have been better if I had been executed.”

Aster tightened his grip on Raviel's shoulder. His desperation ripped through his heart.

“If you had been executed, I would probably have died in the Amphitheater.”

"It's true," Raviel admitted. "So it's a blessing in disguise.”

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