Aster slowly blinked his eyes. Morning light flooded the room. He sat up, his neck stiff. He hadn’t slept well. He had been thinking about what Raviel told him the day before. He had perceived the young patrician’s pain very early on because it sometimes reminded him of his own, but he had only understood that night how much Raviel suffered from living. Too many people had tried hard to break him, and everything he had been through was driving Aster into a rage.
He no longer veiled his face. He knew he had woven a powerful bond with Raviel, despite their status, and no longer felt able to abandon him. Sometimes the idea of accepting his condition crossed his mind. He valued his freedom, but for the first time in a long time, the place he lived in reminded him of home. He wasn't sure he had the strength to leave behind those who had managed to rekindle his heart.
He walked to Raviel’s room. The sound of footsteps made him raise his head, and he caught Mel's gaze. She approached on tiptoe.
“How is he?” She whispered.
"Not good," Aster admitted.
Mel's smile vanished, and sadness invaded her face.
"He was with Helvia, wasn't he?"
Aster nodded slowly. Mel pursed her lips so hard that they turned white.
“He…told me about what happened three years ago.”
Mel lowered her head and nervously twisted the fabric of her dress.
“I'm scared, Aster,” she whispered. “Three years ago, after the judgment, I really thought I was going to lose him. He was so… devastated.”
She had been there when Raviel woke up at night screaming, his cheeks wet with tears. She had supported him when the anguish triggered crises so strong that he was suffocating. He had fought against the shadows, which had taken up all the space in his silver irises. She had seen Raviel dying slowly, behind his facade smiles.
And she had seen him struggle to face his demons, to drive away the pain. Then he'd started to climb back up, and his eyes had slowly regained their luster, never quite managing to eclipse the sadness. But Mel had always known that he was standing on the edge of an abyss and that the slightest gust could throw him there again. Since Valens' death, she felt that the fragile balance that Raviel had managed to rebuild was slowly cracking.
“Last night, his eyes seemed so empty ... I fear that he will eventually reach a point of no return. He's strong, much stronger than he thinks, but he won't survive all this pain forever. No one can.”
Aster looked at the sleeping Raviel. His breathing was steady.
"Do you think he can heal from it?" He whispered.
“I'm sure of it, but it won't happen as long as he stays in Massallia.”
Aster nodded with little worrying wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.
"He'll try to push you away," Mel told him sadly.
He looked up, his brown irises filled with uncertainty.
“He always acts like this when he senses danger is near. He'll push you away like he pushed Lana and me away.”
“Why?” He asked her in a low voice.
“Because he cares about you, and he'd rather bear it alone than put us in danger. But…”
She fixed her hopeful gaze on his.
"Don't let him!" You have the power to stay by his side, so don't let him... Protect him, please…”
“I will,” Aster affirmed.
Mel allowed herself a sincere smile and sat up.
“I'm going to prepare something to eat! I'm sure he didn't eat anything yesterday… Are you hungry?”
Aster barely had time to nod that she was already leaving the room. He sketched an amused smile at this sudden burst of energy. He appreciated Mel's ability to not let herself be defeated. Her enthusiasm was refreshing.
Raviel shifted slightly. Aster did not hesitate to call him gently to wake him up. Raviel blinked, troubled by the morning light, before slowly straightening up.
“Aster…”
He suddenly realized that Aster must have been waking for him to wake up. Mel returned, a tray laden with food in her hands. Her face lit up when she saw Raviel.
“You're awake!” She exclaimed. “Good, you can eat!”
She put the tray on the bed and sat down with Aster next to Raviel. She had brought pancakes, cheese, honey, fruit...
"We'll never finish all this," Raviel laughed.
He smiled weakly, but couldn't quite hide the exhaustion that clouded his eyes.
"It wouldn't hurt you to try, though," Mel retorted.
Raviel grabbed a pancake covered in honey, knowing that it would reassure Mel. There was a time when he almost stopped eating, despite Mel's best efforts. He would make sure not to fall back into his old habit. Aster imitated him greedily. The discussion became lighter, and a few bursts of laughter even ended up echoing in the room. Raviel felt overwhelmed by a wave of tenderness. This painting made him happy, and he wished with all his heart to see it continue.
***
Raviel bit his lip to stifle a complaint, but the pain shot through his back as Severus slammed him hard against a column. The words Aster had said before he entered the room came back to him.
“At the slightest suspicious noise, I will not hesitate to intervene.”
He had reluctantly accepted that Aster accompanied him, but he refused that the latter confronted the emperor. It could only end badly.
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Severus pressed his arm to his throat to keep him from moving, and Raviel gave him a look filled with hate.
"Why do you insist on resisting me?" Severus growled.
"Why do you keep asking me something I have no control over?"
His nerves were strained, and he wasn't sure he would be able to contain himself for long. Severus increased the pressure on his throat, and a flash of pain crossed Raviel's face.
"Don't talk like that to your emperor!"
“You're not my emperor,” Raviel replied dryly. “And you never will be.”
He barely suppressed a groan as the back of his head hit the column hard. He briefly closed his eyes. Without being able to understand why, Severus seemed more and more violent as the days went by. And Raviel couldn't convince himself that it was just a lack of patience.
“You killed your own father,” he said quietly. “You will never be worthy of his throne.”
"Let's talk about my father," Severus hissed. “Do you think I don't know he gave you his locket?”
“Isn't it…”
Raviel was seized with a painful fit of coughing when Severus pressed harder on his trachea. He struggled to catch his breath.
“Don’t play dumb! This medallion has been in my family for generations! Why did he give it to you? You are less than nothing, Raviel! You don't even have a Gift! So why?”
“I…”
Severus silenced him with his arm, and Raviel gasped.
"What did you do to obtain his favors in this way? Don't tell me it's only because you ended up in his bed!”
A murderous gleam darkened Raviel's gaze.
“Fuck you, Severus!”
He pushed him away with such force that Severus took several steps back.
"I considered Valens a father! It would never have occurred to me to have such a relationship with him, you fool!”
Severus grabbed him by the throat, and his fingers closed roughly around Raviel's skin.
"Like a father?" You make me laugh! You already have a father, Raviel, and from what I understand he doesn't really like you,” he sneered.
“I'm looking forward to it…” Raviel articulated with difficulty. “The day you will be thrown into the sea with a bag over your head…”
Severus tightened his grip on his throat sharply, and Raviel tried to push him away again, to no avail. He was starting to run out of air and was struggling not to suffocate.
"You are overstepping your boundary! One more word and I won't hesitate to tear your tongue out!”
Raviel remained silent, glaring at him with his stormy gaze. Severus smirked.
“Or ... Should I sell you? Some people have found an attraction to your physique after all, both males and females…”
Raviel struck Severus on the face. He slowly lowered his arm, shaking with rage.
“No one will touch my body against my will,” he replied in an icy voice.
Severus's hatred was palpable, but Raviel's was just as much. He had had enough. Enough to be insulted. Enough of getting run over. His body belonged to him. He wouldn't let anyone play with it anymore. Never.
Severus took a menacing step in his direction, hand raised.
The doors to the audience chamber swung open, interrupting his movement. A slave entered, looking out of breath.
"Emperor!" he called, as calmly as possible.
Severus narrowed his eyes.
“What?” He replied dryly.
“Your wife is unwell!”
Raviel wondered at the concern in Severus' eyes.
“I'm coming.”
He turned back to Raviel.
“As for you, I can assure you that you will regret your action,” he asserted.
He didn't wait for an answer and rushed towards the exit. Yet even when he was gone, Raviel couldn't catch his breath or take his eyes off the big doors. He had let his anger explode, carrying all his feelings, but knew that in doing so, he had made a terrible mistake. An error that he would pay dearly. He had hit the emperor. Severus would never forgive him. He painfully swallowed realizing what he was going to have to do.
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