Chapter 1: Ch.1- White book.

Who I am? I am dreaming?

 I was frightened of myself, and terrified of the unknown world around me. I looked down at my hands, they seem human, they are smooth and thin. Nothing special about them yet they feel somehow strange, like if they were fake, just like this place where I am currently, slowly I raise my eyes again. 

Why am I here? I'm in a room filled with bookshelves, there is a desk with a lamp next to it. I can see tables full of books, some of them seem to have fell and now are on the ground. Dust covers everything in sight, it's dusty everywhere, even inside the shelves. Everything seems old and worn out. The air is stale and damp. The walls have long cracks in them, like the ceiling will collapse any minute.

What happened to me? There were so many questions, but not a single answer. My surroundings seemed so familiar, but also unreal, just like myself. Little by little I start panicking, and the thought of wanting to leave grows more and more within me. My legs take me forward, and I start looking for an exit.

Where I am? Where is the exit?

Suddenly, I begin to hear voices coming from all directions, they sound just like me....their voice is identical to mine. Most of them speak in languages that I never heard before, yet I can understand. Others are speaking English, French, Spanish or Italian, but with accents that I do not recognize. 

English, French, Spanish, Italian? Are those languages? And how do I know them?.... That's not important, what's important is that the voices are very loud and keep getting louder and louder, it's reaching a point where I can't stand it anymore. They just keep saying the same thing.

'Your history is here, it's within your grasp.'

"Can you shut up..." I say with low, menacing tone. Everything then falls silent, like if all was some sort of illusion.

What was that....? I need to leave this place. Everything is strange here, somehow I have the weird feeling that I can't no longer cling to my senses. Hearing, sight, smell, taste, and touch, the only things that I recognized as true, no longer feel like they are.

Where is the door? There needs to be a door. I take a step forward, and suddenly a door abruptly appears on the wall in front of me. It looks ancient and worn out. The wood is covered in black mildew.

Should I go in? There is no other place to go, so... The door cracks as it opens. A narrow corridor comes into view. It is covered with dust and old books. After fully entering the corridor, the door closes behind me, I hear nothing from the other side. No footsteps, no voices, just silence. A shiver goes through me as I walk slowly but carefully.

This must be definitely a dream, or maybe nightmare.

After some minutes, I reach the end of the corridor. There is a staircase on the front, as I climb the stairs the hallway begins to widen and become brighter, soon the light becomes blinding, and I have to start looking down because of the sheer intensity. At last the stairway ends, and I reach the blinding light. 

Some minutes pass and my eyes begin to get used to the light. I look at the front and what I see is a huge library with huge gilt roman windows. 

Books cover every inch of space available, some pages from these books seem to have fell and covered the floor. The roof has collapsed and fallen onto one part of the building, forming a large hole above from where a few rays of sun shine in from outside. The floor made of marble tiles, and the walls covered in gold leafing give the enormous room a holy atmosphere. It feels like home, like I belong here. As if these books were meant to be read and studied.

Mesmerized by the sight I begin to approach the books that caught more my attention, some of the titles are written in Greek and Latin, others in Arabic, Hebrew, Sanskrit, Sumerian, Egyptian, and Mandarin, with a few others that are simply marked 'Unknown'. I open a book randomly and find myself reading. It was about how water was created. I close it quickly and put it back on the shelf, this seems like the continuation of another, I don't want to spoil myself. First, I should search for answers of my situation.

I begin walking between rows and rows of bookshelves. Some of them are falling apart, while others are brand new.

As I enter the main hall I notice, in the center of everything, how an enormous white book stands on top of a majestic wooden table surrounded by chairs. On the table is placed a golden chalice containing something that resembles wine, and two plates, one holding a loaf of bread, another plate holds several pieces of meat. All of this is decorated with beautiful flowers, leaves, fruits, nuts, spices and herbs.

I walk towards the book, as I get closer I can see that its title is written in Sanskrit. I pick it up and hold it tightly, feeling the weight of the heavy tome.

'अपस्मरा इतिहास'

'Apasmara History'

I let the book down instantly after reading the title. Is this some kind of prophecy? Or maybe a story? For some reason it scares me, I can't bring myself to open it. I feel my feet taking me away from the book. As I turn around and retreat faster and faster, a voice speaks incredibly close to me.

"Your history is here, it's within your grasp."

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I feel fear and a deep sense of unease. My eyes turn straight to the book, and I find myself looking at it for quite some time. That voice...was the same as mine. My eyes stare at the book, my mind runs wild with thoughts and questions. Is this really happening? I start walking again, trying to forget the voice and the ominous book that is right behind me. I need answers, I have to find out who or what I am. I need to know why am I here. My mind is clouded, confused. I feel lost, and I begin to panic.

"Your history is here, it's within your grasp."

The voice repeats itself, it sounds so close to me.

"Your history is here, it's within your grasp."

Am I crazy? Is the book talking? Or... It's me... I'm the one who's talking. My mouth moves alone, on her own. I look down, and I notice that my legs are moving on their own too, and try to reach the white book.

"Your history is here, it is within your grasp."

My legs carry me forward. As I get closer to the book, I realize it's almost touching my fingers. I start to panic, and force myself to run the other way.

"Your history is here, it's within your grasp." 

 I fall on my knees, the book is just centimeters away from me. I try to get up and run again, but I keep falling over.

"Your history is here, it's within your grasp."

My hand pulls it in front of my face, little by little it begins to open it. I scream as I struggle, but my hand keeps pulling the book, opening it further and further, revealing its contents. Only one line was written down.

'राक्षस, त्वं स्वर्गपृथिवीयोः मध्ये पुस्तकालयस्य रक्षणार्थं सदा निन्दितः असि।'

'Demon, you are forever condemned to guard the library between heaven and earth.'

I fall backwards, covering my ears with my hands. I feel tears running down my cheeks, the voice repeat once more.

"Tu historia está aquí, está a tu alcance."

Shut up....please....

"Istoria ta este aici, este la îndemâna ta."

I start running aimlessly among the piles and piles of books, the aisles between the enormous bookshelves become endless. My breath is missing, I feel my head throbbing, I can't think. I need to stop, I need to calm down, I need to breathe, I need to think.

Everything stops. I stand still for a moment. I can hear the words of the voice coming from my lips repeating over and over, and the sound of my heart beating in my chest. Time seems to stop, everything seems to be frozen. I start breathing deeply as I relax my arms and legs.

This library....it's my home, why would I want to leave? This is where I belong, I feel safe here. Why was I trying so hard to leave? The voice is gone, but what remains in my mind is the word 'history'. What does it mean? It's the answer I'm looking for? What should I do now? Where should I go from here? 

There are millions and millions of books in this library, I can feel it. I can feel them calling my name, begging me to read every single page. I need to understand what happened. Not only that, but I also need to find out why I am here, who am I.

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