Chapter 138: (Hundred) Thirty Seven: Scars

Becca wasn't looking at him as he walked into the bathroom and wasn't when he came out. She returned to the bed, laying her back on it as she stared absent-mindedly at nothing, in particular, only snapping out of her trance when she felt Leo's arms curling around her after he dimmed the lights of the room. Then He pressed a kiss to her temples. 

" What are you thinking about?" He asked, his lips mere inches from her ear and she blinked, shaking her head.

" Nothing." She smiled but again, it didn't reach her eyes. Leo noticed. He always did.

She stirred in his arms, shifting closer after shunting her focus away from him. Resting her head on his chest, she breathed in the smell of intoxicating body wash but even that couldn't supersede the sudden heaviness of her heart and though it was hard to admit, her presence in Leo's life wouldn't automatically erase all the dark, fiendish things he experienced in his past, it definitely wouldn't fix the hollow look he had in his eyes when he woke up from his coma or even silence the uproar of his vile demons inciting him to hurt, to kill. No, those were things he had to resolve by himself. All her presence did was act as a form of relief from the insanity his mind conjures up for him to suffer through on a daily basis. He saw her as a means of freedom from it all but the truth was only he can free himself from the mental chains binding him. 

Deafening silence laid leaden, lacerating them to smatterings but still, none of them spoke as though waiting for the other to do so first. The ticking of the clock glutted the air and Leo stared down at Becca's face propped against his body, her eyes opened, blinking to smothered the turmoil stirring in her, at the same time shooting pangs straight through Leo. 

" My love?" Leo's voice sent warmth sprinting through Becca's veins. She hummed and cocked her head. " Can't sleep?"

Becca blinked then nodded. " I guess I'm not tired yet." 

She should be after having her brain cells roasted by reading about fairy schlongs. 

" Then that makes two of us." He laughed and a smile trudged onto Becca's lips, a fuzzy feeling engulfing her as the sound of laughter streamed into her ears. 

She lifted her gaze and for the millionth time, caught him staring at her, the smile splotched on his face contrasting with the things he was feeling most of the time. It was always like that with him. His face always told an opposite story, different from what he was actually feeling and thinking.

Becca's lips slanted, widening her smile as she slinked higher on the bed. That's it, she was going in. She was going to ask one more time and if he doesn't try to open up, even a little, then she would be convinced that the progress of their relationship has been stagnant and Leo would have to understand that for them to grow as one, he would first have to grow within himself. For him to do that, he would have to acknowledge his past without fear of being judged by her.

" Tell me something. Something you know but others don't." Becca said and Leo's forehead wrinkled.

" You have to be more specific. There are a lot of things I know that others don't." Leo said.

Somehow Becca's already wide smile widened even more.

" Your pick. Tell me anything you are sure you are ready to share." 

A brief stillness ensued between them and Becca's attention remained fixed on him, patiently waiting for him to say something. Anything. But she got...

" My mother had a thing with monsters. She would take all the terrible people and classify them as monsters. It was her way of dehumanizing them because it's easier to hate them when she doesn't see them as people but for the monsters they truly are." Leo said then let out a sigh. " Somehow, I too started doing so as well."

He was grateful that was the only way he took after his mother.

" Monsters." Becca voiced out softly. " Have you ever met any?" 

Leo hesitated a bit before answering. " Yes. Many actually. Some are way closer than you think." 

The closest ones are the most dangerous. Leo learned that the hard way.

" Close, huh?" Curiosity awashed Becca, compelling her to dig deeper. Who knows, perhaps today might be her lucky day. The day Leo finally cracks.

" Yes." He said with little to no uncertainty.

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" Close like your uncle? Like Dominic?" 

Leo's throat bobbed as he gulped, eyes hardening and Becca didn't miss how his body went completely rigid. All because of that one name.

His jaw clenched tight as if physically restraining himself from getting angry. The last thing he wanted was to blow a fuse in front of Becca but all efforts fell flat. She still saw the emotions rumbling beneath the surface.

Anger. Hate.

Fear. So much fear.

Silence once again shrouded them but Becca didn't seem to mind it, letting Leo take his time.

" Yes." Leo gritted, singeing rage oozing from him but the fear was still apparent in his eyes. " Especially him." 

Becca's heart shook with concern but confusion was still conspicuous on her.

" He hurt you, didn't he?" Becca asked and locked gazes with Leo, staring deep into his bleak soul. Her chest tightened at what she saw, at what Leo let her see. 

His pain. She only managed to catch a glimpse of it, leaving her now struggling not to shatter to pieces at the sight.

" He ruined me. Whacked me to shards then molded me back up." 

Dominic made him a monster, his methods more psychological than physical. 

Becca's eyes glistened. " Your scars. Was he the one who…" she trailed off, unable to complete the question.

Leo looked away and a teardrop trickled down Becca's cheek. She was glad he turned away, glad he didn't see the teardrop gliding down her face. He wouldn't want to keep telling her if he had seen it, he would never open up again if he knew the turmoil the pain in his voice was abetting in her.

" He enjoyed carving random shit on me with his knife."

When the wounds healed, they left scars. Scars, horrifying and dreadful, he despised them. Thinking about it reminded Leo how much he hated that man, the anger that eroded him whenever he did as much as stare at his own body, at the marks permanently etched on him by the same person who he once looked up to. His own uncle. 

Even after escaping that beast's claws, Leo still never found peace, constantly reliving that same torture in his head and in his dreams. When Leo couldn't bear to look at his body again, he went ahead and covered his broken self with tattoos, to hide behind them. More than ten years later, he now had dark ink flooding him in tides but somehow it still failed to conceal the remnants of the slow madness that monster unleashed. 

More than a decade gone but Leo still remembered every second of his torture.

Becca rubbed off the tears streaming down her face before Leo could see them.

" How could your uncle do such a thing to you?" Becca asked, her heart constricted to the point of pain and Leo veered his gaze to her. Luckily, the lights of their room had been dimmed so he couldn't see how flushed her face was from crying.

" He is a monster. Calling him my uncle makes it harder to despise him." Leo's hand went behind Becca's back, rubbing it to soothe her despite being the one who was hurt, despite being the one who had his childhood snatched away. He had no one to calm him down back then.

Before Becca, he was all alone.

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