“My taste in desserts is really different from mine. Come on, I’ll give it to you.”
Caesar took the tart and handed it to me. I frowned.
“Just give it to me. It’s not like I broke my finger.”
“You can’t see, so how do you know if something goes into your mouth or your nose?”
“I pick it up with my hand and put it in my mouth, but there is no way I can put it through my nostrils… … , hey.”
As I retorted to Caesar’s words, I shut my mouth at the chocolate tart that suddenly fell into my mouth.
“Is it good?”
It’s good.
But I kept my mouth shut because I felt like I’d lost if I said it was delicious.
“Why is this sweet thing so delicious? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t need you to understand my taste in desserts.”
Having said that, I grabbed Caesar’s hand and ate the tart in his hand.
Because if I didn’t, when I opened my mouth, this guy would put it in my mouth again and it would be an embarrassing situation.
“Oho.”
Perhaps he noticed my intentions, Caesar made a disapproving sound. I looked at Caesar like I was saying What would you do about it? and grinned.
“Well, it doesn’t really matter if I like it or not.”
“…?”
Caesar wiped my lower lip with his thumb. It seemed that tart crumbs had been smeared while I was eating in a hurry.
Caesar licked the crumbs off my fingers so casually that he continued, with a smiley voice.
“Because Helena likes it.”
‘… I need a consultation!’
His clever demeanor made my head burn.
Obviously, his behavior was no different than before. Perhaps I just hadn’t noticed it before.
But now I could no longer think of his actions as nothing.
I need a consultation.
I desperately need it.
A consultation that will make me more determined in front of this sly snake!
***
Why are you so embarrassed? You might ask.
For the first time in my life, I heard someone confessed that he liked me.
In fact, I wish I could count it as a confession. But there hadn’t been any dramatic change since then, had it? Only my mental state had changed dramatically.
‘Did he make my heart flutter as a joke?’
I don’t know.
Because I had no experience in this area.
“… That’s why you came to me.”
Having barely escaped Caesar—including several other humans—who had been following me around like leeches, I went to see Hamilton.
Hamilton, who was withering under a pile of papers, answered me in a rather hoarse voice. I nodded.
“Elder Ben is single. Agoth and Caesar are not on good terms, and Brother… I feel that it is not appropriate to have this conversation with him.”
“That last one is truly a wise decision.”
“Anyway, do you have so much to report? You’ve been locked up in your room the whole time.”
“Ah, the report is over, and now this is a separate report and letter to Duke Peresca.”
Well, that’s right.
We had to tell him why we couldn’t come home as planned.
“… Don’t write in too much detail.”
I said with a little apology. Hamilton let out a stifled cry.
“Do you want to write a will first?”
“That’s too extreme. But it might not be a bad a idea.”
II was half joking. But Hamilton squeaked Aaahh and became seriously distressed.
No matter how my father was, surely he wouldn’t scold his daughter who had fought monsters and had been hurt… right?
‘The norm is…’
As I had said before, my father in the previous life enjoyed the story of me rolling and breaking the most.
“Cough, anyway… I see. You are now mature enough to ask me for dating advice.”
Hamilton put down his pen and turned toward me.
“First of all, it’s even more surprising that Princess didn’t know about it until now.”
“You’re digging in from that part first?”
Mrhm, I groaned.
Come to think of it, I also thought that I was too dull.
I had only considered his feeling as a kindness and trustworthiness of a disciple toward his master, or a childhood friend, and had never thought that it was the realm of rational love.
And to be honest, he was a very young kid. A snub-nosed dog who was afraid of becoming an emperor.
Wouldn’t it be strange for someone with the mind of a thirty-year old person to think of such a feeling from that kind of kid as love?
‘Well, I don’t even know where my mental age is now.’
A sigh came out.
Maybe it was the influence of the environment, but at some point, I felt like I had gotten used to the emotional lines of my age. With the memory of the past life remained as it was.
‘It’s a strange disharmony.’
Something was wrong with me now.
“Anyway, I’m relieved that you’ve come to know His Highness’ heart now.”
“Is that a relief?”
“It’s better than just shoveling each other and getting lost. You must have known for sure about this. It will be comfortable once both sides know.”
“… I thought I was the smart one.”
“You’ve been living under a big illusion.”
How embarrassing.
I breathed a long sigh.
“So, what part of it is so problematic that you need a consultation?”
Hamilton tilted his head and asked me.
“Umm, I don’t know how to react.”
“Really? Did His Highness want an answer to his confession?”
“No.”
“Or did he suddenly change his attitude? Avoiding Princess…”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then why don’t you just treat him like usual?”
Because he’s not like usual! That’s the problem!
That person’s action, word, and expression are so meaningful that I’m going crazy because of it!
“Rejoice in the fact that your senses has evolved one step further, and take full advantage of his love.”
“As an aide to His Highness, you speak quite defiantly.”
“I’ve been rolling under him for ten years. How could anyone not be bad?”
Well, I have no objection to that.
I kept my mouth shut as I remembered Caesar, who used to bully Hamilton as a child.
“But, mm. I see. Even the wise princess must be a beginner in dating. It’s understandable that you’re unfamiliar and bewildered by the sudden realization of your feelings.”
“My feelings? No, I want you to advise me about Caesar’s confession.”
“But, His Highness has not changed at all before and after the confession, so what has changed is the attitude and feelings of Princess. Am I wrong?”
Is that so?
Am I being swayed and conscious of him?
But why? Is there a reason for that?
Why do I have to panic and be swayed because of others?
“In the end, what matters is Princess’ feelings.”
Hamilton spoke again in a voice full of confidence, which was rare for him.
“How did you feel when you found out that His Highness likes you? Did you hate it or were you afraid? Or were you nervous and happy?”
My feelings…
Helena’s feelings toward Caesar, who had said he liked me…
Was I happy?
The moment of enlightenment always came suddenly.
The question I asked myself was an interrogative one.
But at that moment, the faster pulse, the warmer body temperature, the trembling breathing and the hot face replaced the unspoken answer.
Waa, what do I do?
How could I not know my own feelings to this extent?