Chapter 18: -18- Scarred Hearts

Chigusa just cried and cried as she was being held by her mother.  The fact that Mayuri-san was naked wasn’t even a point of relevance here.  I hadn’t expected a reaction quite like this from her, and it left me at a loss as for what to do. 

Mayuri-san looked over to me and the only thing I could think to do was shake my head.  I threw up my arms and gave up at the already untenable situation, gathering my clothes so I could redress, only to find Mayuri-san coming to stop me.

“Shota-kun…” she pleaded with a weak voice.

“What now?”  I was exasperated, my voice had to have reflected that emotion.

“…”

She was looking at me with a painful gaze.

“Help.”

Help?  How exactly can I be of any help in this situation!?

“I don’t even know where to begin, Mayuri-san.”

“…m…maybe just…once…”

“No.” I answered firmly.

Mayuri-san was conflicted, it was obvious, but I couldn’t allow myself to be weak here.  It would ruin everything I had been working towards with my wife!

“Because it won’t be just once.” I answered her with the truth.  I’m not blind.  Chigusa masurbating while I was balls deep into Mayuri-san was something exquisitely forbidden, and I don’t think I’d ever felt my cock as swollen as it was at that moment. 

“She’s my daughter…”

“No, not in this capacity.  She’s not your daughter right now, she’s my ex-girlfriend.  And you aren’t her mother she walked in on having sex, it was my wife!”

“That’s…too…”

She knew I wasn’t saying a single untrue word.  Yes, Chigusa is her daughter, but a daughter coveting her mother’s husband?  It’s against the rules of society.  Mayuri-san is a jealous person!  Does she think that would change because of a one-time thing?  We had our one time thing, and It ended, disastrously.

“Then ask me not at her mother, but as my wife Tachibana Mayuri, that you want me to fuck Watanabe Chigusa, not as your daughter but as my former lover.  Tell me to do it like that, and I might think about it.  MIGHT.”

I let loose my conviction.  I guess hours of sex wasn’t enough already for her to absolutely understand that it was her and her alone I wanted to love, without interference!

“Shota… I…”

I stared at her unblinking while I waited for her to respond.  Instead she turned her head and looked away at last.  I finished putting my clothes on, pulling my empty condom off and throwing it in the garbage.

“Please have a talk with her about what is acceptable behavior in this house, and what is not.  You should reflect a little on it too.” 

Those were my parting words as I left those two alone to figure things out for themselves.  In hindsight, it was the most idiotic move I could have ever done.  But you don’t have hindsight when you’re caught up in the moment, so what could I do?  I was young, naïve, and madly in love with Mayuri-san.

I keep saying it like a broken record, because it’s the only rational, and irrational, thought I have.  

I love only Mayuri-san.

Mayuri-san made some dinner for her and her daughter, along with what was probably a long conversation.  I was starting to think it would be impossible to keep those two here together and enjoy my marriage.  I hadn’t been in love like this before, so dealing with these feelings was tough.  Chigusa and I were never so lovey-dovey, or as passionate.  I wanted to believe I was an upstanding moral person at my core.  That it was enough to have my happiness be with Mayuri-san alone, and to not need to stray.  

Not only that, but the majority of her hurt came in the form of a scumbag ex, who not only never married her, but cheated on her with a younger woman only a couple years older than Chigusa herself is.

More than anything, I didn’t want to be in the same category as that guy!

I didn’t want to do the same thing to my wife, with her daughter of all people!

Not wanting to be hated and despised by the woman I love, is it so wrong to want that one thing?

I already had one foot over that hurdle, though.  I had married Mayuri-san, something he never bothered to do.  But the other one was starting to get insane.  Her daughter, My ex-girlfriend no less, was continually throwing herself at me, and Mayuri-san wasn’t disciplining her properly!

What if something happened?

I… I don’t want to lose Mayuri-san to a mistake that could be avoided!

She’s become my precious family, and I don’t want her to have to suffer because of a misunderstanding… that there was nothing between Chigusa and I anymore!

As Saturday evening turned into night, Mayuri-san returned to our room with a plate holding two neatly cut sandwiches.

“I thought you might be hungry, Shota-kun.”

While I wasn’t starving, I could definitely enjoy eating some brain food right now.  Mayuri-san appeared to be deep in troubled thought still.  It’s not like I can blame her, Chigusa is like a live electrical wire.  Pretty to look at, but you know exactly what you’ve been warned about when daring to reach for it.

My wife looked very much like she wanted to talk with me, and even though I presented myself as being open to conversation, she said nothing.  She only stripped herself once I finished eating, and laid down in our bed, spread eagle.

“Mayuri-san?”

“Let’s do it once more without protection tonight, okay?  It should be safe enough today, and I can buy a pill to take tomorrow to be certain.  I just… want you to make love to me like this.”

“Eh?”

“Is it no good?  I’m still feeling a bit unsatisfied from earlier…”

“…if that’s what you want, I would love to continue.”

I finished wolfing down my sandwich and made love to my wife again.  All throughout our lovemaking she didn’t utter a single sound louder than a whisper.  I finished inside of her as she wanted, and she held me close to her afterwards, my face resting on her large breasts.

“She wanted you to listen to what she has to say.”

“Chigusa?”

Mayuri-san nodded.

“She promised not to do a single thing.  I… had a talk with her as you wanted.  You’re absolutely right...  As your wife, and with her as your former lover, I can’t ask you to be with her in that capacity.  But as a mother my heart aches that I’ve taken her lover, even if I didn’t know it at the time.  And as a mother, I want to do anything I can to help her, even if it means sharing you with her.  I’m hurting, and she’s hurting, and I even if I’m an adult, I don’t know what to do in this situation either, dear husband.”

And now we came to the crux of the matter.  Mayuri-san talked calmly and quietly, and all she asked of me was to go speak with Chigusa, who was waiting for me.

I agreed to do so.

I readied myself with a kiss from my wife before leaving our room dressed enough and lightly tapped on the door to Chigusa’s.  It opened, and she was walking back towards her bed when I entered.

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“Can you at least close the door while we talk?  I don’t care if you stand over there or whatever.  I won’t do anything to you.  I promised her… and I’m promising you now.”

After closing the door,  I walked over to my old desk and sat down while she sat on her bed with a pillow tucked between her legs and her chin resting on top of it, staring in my direction.

“Did mom talk to you?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, she asked me to come and listen to what you had to say.”

Chigusa was trembling a little.  I could see her arms shaking and wondered what exactly brought that about.

“Are you going to kick me out?”

I sat up straight and looked at her.  So, that’s what it was about.

“And if I do?”

She just looked defeated.  While it would be for the best, the situation earlier was abnormal under any circumstances.  So I won’t be too heartless about it.

“I won’t lie to you, I thought about it.” I admitted.

“Oh…”  She looked down at the pillow she held.

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

I crossed my arms waiting to see where she stood.  After a small eternity, she answered me.

“No.  There isn’t.”  

For Chigusa, saying this much was tantamount to an apology.  So, I’ll forgive her for now.  I’m at fault too as it is.

“Now that the hard part is out of the way, what did you want to talk about?”

She got up and walked to the door, and stood in front of it.

“I won’t do a thing to you.  But I need to do something for you… and it’s really important for me as well.  I’ll leave tomorrow… but just… let me do this, okay?”

I sighed and nodded.

She began to undress in front of me and the door, barring my escape.  First her shorts were unbuttoned, falling to her ankles swiftly.  Next was her shirt, which joined her pants on the ground, and then lastly her bra…

But it was the moment when her bra came off, that some concerns awakened.  However, it was not because of her current state of undress, it was what that state of undress revealed.

“What… is that?”

“It’s why I always wear unrevealing clothes, and why I think men are creeps.  Most of them anyway.”

Across the undercurve of her breasts, below the outer area of her areolas but not low enough to be tucked from view in the underboob crease was a long white scar that went horizontally across her chest.  For such perfectly proportional breasts to her body size to have that kind of obvious visible wound…

“What happened?  Were you assaulted?” I had no idea she had anything like that, she’d never so much as worn a low-cut top in all the time we dated when we were alone!

“Yes and no.  Mom… doesn’t know the real reason why this exists, but dad does.  It’s his fault after all.”

“His fault? What do you mean?”

“Dad’s… the worst, okay?  He’s been cheating on mom since I was a little girl.  When this happened,”  Chigusa traced a finger across the white scar, “I was eight years old.  He was messing around with a woman when mom went to visit her family out in Sapporo…”  

Chigusa began a long explanation as to how the scar came to be, and I was sitting there rapt at attention, with my eyes focused hard on it.

“My auntie just had her first baby, and mom went to visit them for a little while to help show her how to get used to taking care of it the easy way, since she already had experience taking care of me.  Dad took it as an opportunity to have a fling while she was out of town.  The woman he brought over didn’t take it well when it was time for dad to kick her out before mom came back.”

Some tears began to well in her eyes as she recounted it while continuing to tremble.

“I guess that woman felt scorned, because she broke a beer bottle and was threatening to hurt dad, or at least that’s what I figured it was about.  I had come out of my room wondering what all the noise was, since the sound of glass breaking woke me up, and well…  She turned suddenly, spooked by me suddenly appearing and asking what was going on.  Her hand holding the broken bottle with the sharp end out ended up swinging in my direction and well...”

I got the picture.  Chigusa lifted her breasts a bit to show clearly the full gash across her chest.  To someone younger who hadn’t yet developed her full bosom, the slash would have been a straight line.  Now that she’s developed there, the scar also curves along the lower part of her breasts, but not hidden away under the under-boob either.

“Anyway, she ran away from the house quickly after cutting me, and I was left bleeding a hell of a lot.  I kept screaming and crying while dad managed to rush me to the hospital.  He kept telling me to keep quiet about what happened, and to only say that I was playing around by myself and got hurt in the kitchen.  Not to say another word past that.

He wanted me to lie for him, Shota.  I hated him for that, but I kept his lie.  I received three hundred and fifty-four stitches, and kept his affair from mom a secret.  Because, he told me what would happen if I didn’t…  That mom would leave him and take me with her, but, because she didn’t work and had nothing, we’d both be homeless.”

“So he implied he wouldn’t take care of you?” I asked for clarification.

“Why take care of a troublesome girl who can’t keep her mouth shut, right?”  She choked.  “I didn’t know about family law back then, I was only eight after all.  But even so, it would have been worse.  Mom wouldn’t have gotten alimony, and I don’t know… which parent I would have ended up with, either.  I have dad’s last name… not mom’s.  Would she have seen me as being his daughter, and left me with him?”

“…”  I see, she was in an impossible situation for a child, and even though we had been together this long, I didn’t know the first thing about her past… or anything else for that matter.

“Mom came back and believed the lie somehow.  That I had been injured playing around in the kitchen… so, she never let me in the kitchen after that while unsupervised except to eat, until I was twelve years old.  In that span of time, dad had about six more affairs that I knew about when mom was out doing things… like visiting her friend Kanna, or just running all the errands dad left to her to do.  In exchange for my silence, he’d throw me some money from time to time, telling me to get lost for a few hours when those chances arrived.”

She looked down and lifted her breasts once more with her hands, moving them together and apart so the scar moved with them, changing shape but always existing as a part of her body.

“…isn’t it hideous?”

It wasn’t about being cruel to her at this point.  This was the first time I also saw anywhere near this much of her body.  A body different from Mayuri-san’s… and a body which once belonged to me as well.

“No.  Chigusa is beautiful, even with it.”

“Fucking liar.”

“I’m serious.”

She sniffled, probably not believing me, even though I was telling her the honest truth.  

“I tried…, you know?”

“Huh?”

“I… during the summer break I ended up going to a mixer with my friends to meet some guys because they needed a third person...”

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