Chapter 27: -27- Enduring It

Sunday was lost to me.  I was beyond exhausted, and while I was able to join her for breakfast, my body couldn’t hold out and I trudged back upstairs to pass out.  Try as she might, I was out, and she was unable to wake me.

How she spent the day was a mystery.   I ended up missing a phone call from Mayuri-san which I only returned when I woke up late in the afternoon.

“Manako came home from the hospital today.”

“I see… that’s good news, right?”

“Yes.  I’ve gotten the children on a good schedule, and helped take care of a number of things that were falling behind due to her being overwhelmed.  I had a long talk with my brother-in-law, and after explaining all that she has been doing while he’s been overworking himself, they decided to look into a part time caretaker to help around the house.  If you can stand it a bit longer, I’ll be back before the coming weekend.”

Another five days alone with Chigusa.

“I’ve managed this long so far, I’ll endure it until the end.”

“If… if it gets to be too much…”

It was that voice of hers again.  The one that put her motherhood and welfare of her daughter over her own happiness as a housewife.

“I have some very erotic pictures of a big-breasted housewife that will do the trick if it gets to be too much.”

“That’s…true.  Please don’t hold back in using them then, darling.”

Disarming her troubling mindset, she talked for a bit longer about her younger sister’s children, how they were doing in school, what they looked like, what they liked, what programs they watched on television.  She filled the rest of the call with how her sister’s condition was, and anything but talk of Chigusa.

When I hung up, I went downstairs and saw a half-eaten box of pizza with the lid open on the living room table.   Lying on the couch and holding a pillow tightly, covered in a sheet was Chigusa.

The television was on, but the volume was muted.  Her eyes were open and she had to know I was there, but she said nothing to me.

“May I have a slice?” I asked, reaching for a now cold slice of pizza.  She must have ordered it hours earlier.

She didn’t answer.

“Are… you mad at me?”

Again, no answer.

“You don’t have to cook anything tonight.  Order more pizza if you want. Mayuri-san should be home by Friday if all goes well.”

That did get a response.

The response of the television being turned off completely, and her rolling over so she didn’t have to see me.  So I let her be.  Maybe she was feeling guilty about what she did last night.  Maybe she put it together that I was awake.

Whatever the reason, I let her be and returned upstairs to write, and even chat with my subscribers who were in a group I created for my fans to talk about my story.

Somehow… the topic moved to a what if scenario with a mother and daughter in a similar situation as I was in.  It may have been because I steered the conversation there, but I wanted to hear what people had to say.

And it didn’t help any.

Every single one of those bastards said to go for it.

“Isn’t the mother like practically pushing the daughter on to the guy?”

“Dude, I think the wife is sort of cool with the idea.  I mean the guy would have to be scum to do it, but all the signs are there that she’d let it happen.”

“Why not just keep it a secret?  Fool around outside of the house with the daughter and take care of the mother at night?”

There wasn’t a single supportive comment saying to stay the course and be loyal.

I hate these guys now.

Maybe I should find out which characters of mine they ship and troll them as payback.

Keeping it secret isn’t the problem.

It’s that once I open that door, how could I ever close it?

Mayuri-san… deep down she can’t possibly be okay with it.

Even if I was okay with it… I won’t hurt her like that, the foremost reason being that I chose to be with her.  I chose to make her happy and give her a safe place and honest partner to be with.  I probably could have chased after Chigusa when she dumped me, or sent her a text over the summer before things with Mayuri-san and I became serious.  Maybe she would have taken me back if I showed the proper interest in her like I should have.  But I didn’t and this is the outcome of that.

Both Chigusa and I have to live with the decisions we made, that’s what being an adult is about.

Dinner that night was the slice of pizza I ate earlier.  I didn’t bother Chigusa any further, and my morale for writing any more after talking to my subscribers was tanked.  All that was left to do was rub one out, and go to bed.

I had school in the morning.

I didn’t think that she would come back up tonight.  The way she was behaving made it seem like she wanted to avoid me.  A young man alone in his room, with naked photos of his beautiful wife to assist him. I was managing my personal health when the door opened up and Chigusa was standing there, watching me engage in the act as I stared at my phone.

“Chigusa!  You can knock, you know!”

I was lying on top of my sheets, so covering up involved reaching down to pull up my boxers.  As I hurriedly dropped the phone to do so.  She yelled at me to stop.

“Put the phone down!”

I lowered the phone.

“Mom entrusted me to take care of you, Shota.  That’s exactly what’s going to happen here.”

She began to peel off her clothing, exposing all of her nakedness to me.

“You won’t let me touch you, so I can only do this much.  Use me instead of your phone.  Use me as your material.  I won’t take no for an answer!”

We both stared at each other.

“Do it, or I’ll do it for you.”

“Chigusa, please…”

“NO!  NO!  You grab that fucking thing and jerk it off to me.  TO ME!”

She was yelling as loud as she could.

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“If you want me to do something, say it.  Do you want me to grope my chest?  Pinch my nipples?  Finger myself?  I’ll do whatever you need me to do.  Just don’t pick up the phone… and use… me… instead.”

I could see the tears falling on the side of her face.  Could I really bring myself to do it to a crying ex-girlfriend?

She took a step forward.

“Well!?”

“Alright… just… calm down.”

Slowly, I continued what I was doing before.  The erotic picture of Mayuri-san cast its light facing down onto the covers of our bed.  Before me was my ex-lover, every bit the youthful image of my wife, and telling me to use her as my masturbatory material.

Her beautiful tear-stricken face.

Her soft flowing hair, dyed blonde unlike her mother’s.

Her voluptuous c-cup breasts with perky pink erect nipples.

Her slender body devoid of all but the tiniest bit of fat around her stomach.

Her hairless mound and folds, pristine and enticing.

Her soft thighs, which I’ve laid my head on before and know how enjoyable they feel.

I masturbated to all of it.

As I stroked away, she slowly played with herself for me.  For herself?  It didn’t matter right then.  She licked her fingers and spread the pussy that belonged to me exactly once, exposing her soft-looking labia before she began to slide her fingers inside her gap, eventually treading lower until she was able to slide a couple of fingers into herself as she kneaded one of her breasts with her other hand.

It was erotic.

She let out soft moans and I began to hold my breath as I worked on my own relief.

It built up perfectly fine with her as my material, and I eventually reached my climax.  My seed spilled out, pooling below my stomach, and my hand sticky with my regret.

She wound down, not reaching her own satisfaction, only to come over to the bed where I was, and climbed on.  She was on her hands and knees next to me, and without a word, our lips met and we kissed.

I wanted to reach out and cup her breasts with my hands.  I wanted to compare them to her mother’s.  This pushy, bitchy, and demanding ex-girlfriend of mine, who finally opened her heart to me at the worst possible time.  I wanted to be able to answer her feelings.

I wanted to so badly.

As I lay there unimpressed from a kiss far more innocent and pure than that of my wife, she began to kiss down my chest, heading towards my spent partner.

I had committed a sin I wouldn’t be able to fix.

When she reached my son, my hand still there, she took it and used it to pin my penis down, away from her face as her mouth opened and her tongue came out to lick up the semen that was released.  But not all of it.

The little bit that was left she used two fingers to gather, spreading them apart as a lattice of milky white strands fought hard to stay from snapping.  Then she sat up on her knees and while staring me in the eye, inserted those cum-coated fingers deep inside of herself.

She fingered herself until she was satisfied, then laid down next to me, the both of us in our birthday suits on top of the blanket.  Before I knew it, my arm slid under her and I scooped her over to rest her head on my chest.  My arm wrapped around her body, covering her long scar protectively, and I turned my head to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

She held me tightly, and wrapped her legs around mine.

“It can’t ever go farther than this, Chigusa.  This… was already past the line.”

“Then why are you holding me so close?”

“Because if I let you go, I’m afraid of what might happen next.”

“Then… if I stay like this, you won’t let me go?”

I took a deep breath.

“Can you really be happy with me if I become the kind of man your father is?”

“You’re nothing like him!”

“Am I?  I have a dedicated newlywed bride who trusted me enough to be alone with my ex-girlfriend for two weeks, and already I’ve got this younger woman in our bed, in my arms no less, about to do the same thing he did while she’s out of the house.”

“Don’t… say it like that!  Don’t compare me to that bitch!”

“I didn’t compare you to her.  I compared myself to him.”

“I had you first!  You… never even texted me or spoke to me once since then either you know!  You accepted such a frivolous reason for our breakup, Shota!  Why didn’t you chase after me?”

“You just did whatever you wanted, and I just didn’t think I mattered enough to you.  Until you came into the club the day after summer break, I figured the only memory I’d ever have of you was… that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt then?”

“I don’t know.  I… felt like you were an angel to me back then.  You just came into my life and ran wild.  I enjoyed all the time we spent together, because you were there during the worst of it when I was dealing with the loneliness from mom and dad being gone… but it was always at your pace.  I felt like it was less of a dating relationship and more of me being your… plaything.”

“You… never wanted to do anything!  All you ever did was play games or play on your computer!  I mean… you never told me what you wrote about either.  I thought it was just how you were coping with your loss.  You never told me you aspired to be a professional writer or anything!”

“You never asked.”

“You could have told me.”

“The only thing I could tell you was what topping not to put on the pizza you always ordered when you came over.”

“And I never did tell them to put green peppers on, did I?”

“That’s true.  I figured you were just smart enough to realize I might not pay for it if you did!”

We both laughed.

“Until Friday… let me be like this?”

“You’re going to stay like this in bed with me and miss school?”

“We’re third years anyway, it doesn’t matter if we even go.”

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