Chapter 45: -13- No Right Answers

~~**  Tachibana Shota’s Point of View  **~~

What was the right answer to what happened last night?

Sunday morning told me at least that I didn’t have a clue.

My wife asked me, in her capacity as my wife, drunk though she was, to invite my ex-girlfriend with her to our bed.  I was reluctant to do so, because it felt wrong to do so at that moment.

Maybe there would come a time when that could be acceptable, but it wasn’t last night.  Mayuri-san has insecurities. She opened up about them to me, she asked me to help her with them, but I couldn’t if it meant doing it that way.  

I couldn’t have sex with Chigusa of my own accord not because I didn’t have feelings for her or desire her, I’m fairly certain I do have them in some capacity.  It was because of what happened earlier.  My wife was still raw with emotions from seeing her ex again.

I may have been wrong in declining her request, but I truly believed in my heart she was not asking me with a sound mind, and the regret she would have if I went through with it, would be impossible to overcome.

After all, we’re still newlyweds!

Who can do such a thing only a couple of months into a new relationship and survive it?  I felt bad for Chigusa, but I was also eternally grateful for what she did.  She didn’t force it, and for that… I owe her.

At what point my wife left during the night or early morning, I don’t know.  Chigusa and I woke up late ourselves, naked in each other’s arms.  We expected to find Mayuri-san downstairs, yet all that we found was a note.

My wife, who professed that she was Tachibana Mayuri and wouldn’t ever leave me alone again… had done just that.

I had a suspicion that she was likely at Kanna-san’s house, so I figured she would be there to scold Mayuri-san’s nonsense when my wife inevitably got drunk with her and spilled what happened about last night to her.  Kanna-chan wasn’t exactly in my corner, but she didn’t dislike me, either.  She was a neutral party who wanted to see her friend happy, and thought I could do something to help. That’s all.

Chigusa offered to make us breakfast, but I wanted something else now that this happened.  I took my ex-girlfriend by the hand and led her upstairs to her room this time, without saying a thing to her, I removed her clothes, removed my own clothes, and had her enter into her bed with me.

Then I proceeded to bury myself into her bosom.

~~** Tachibana Chigusa’s Point of View **~~

He had said mom disappeared on him a few times over the summer, but this was my first time seeing it happen.  I’m sure he blamed himself, but it wasn’t his fault.  I was also to blame, but mom was the real culprit of this tragedy playing out.

Shota didn’t cry or anything, he just placed his head gently between my scarred breasts in my bed and existed.  I didn’t know what to say to him.  Had mom gone to Kanna’s or had she gone to see dad again perhaps?  I had no idea, nor did I know what Shota’s thoughts were about that also.

Shota, after a good long while, finally pulled away from my chest then rolled me over and hugged me from behind.  His hand fell to my belly, and his kisses poured onto the back of my neck and shoulders.

Now this…. This was what I wanted.

“It’ll be okay, Shota.” I said, attempting to console him.

“I hope so.  Will you let me be like this for a little while?” I could feel the sense of loss in his voice, his tone was weak and shaky.

“Take all the time you want.”

“Chigusa.”

“Yes?”

“Want to order in a lot of pizza today?”

“Now you’re making me wish I did fuck you last night.”

“Please, anything but that.”

“Then, would you make love to me… without fucking me?”

“Before or after the pizza?”

“We have the house all to ourselves again, probably for today at least.”

“Compromise?” he suggested.

“I’m listening…”

Shota pulled me closer and I felt something long, hot, and thick slide between my thighs.  I opened my legs enough to capture it, holding it captive against my own pink desire which he would not enter.

“Mine.”  I declared.

Shota reached up and ran a finger along my scar, then brought his hand back down to my belly and whispered into my ear, Mine, right back at me.

“I love you, Tachibana Shota.  Even if you never say it to me, I’ll keep saying it for you.  As long as you come into my bed to protect it, it’ll be here for you, just as you left it, when you are ready.”

Even if there is another good man out there… even if one would be good to me and love me like I know Shota would… even if he would accept that I was a single mother with a child…  I still would only want Shota as my man.

~~** Tachibana Mayuri’s Point of View **~~

“Mayumayu?”

“Hi Kanna-chan.  Can… I intrude on you for a while?”

The door opened wide, and my longtime girlfriend let me into her home.  For the first time in a long time, I had a hangover, and I needed to escape that place for a while.

“Sure, things get rocky with the kid?”

“Yes and no.”

“Want a beer?”

“I’d rather have a cup of coffee and an aspirin.”

“Are you hungover?  The invincible Mayumayu, lain low at last?”

I sighed.

“Just make the damn coffee.”

I took off my shoes, found my way to her couch and plopped down.  A few minutes later Kanna-chan brought my cup of coffee and two aspirin.  After a quick sip, I left it on the table in front of the couch and deflated.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel worse.”

“What happened?  Or do you need to process it all?”

“I’d like to wait until your voice doesn’t sound like it’s coming out of a megaphone.”

Kanna-chan let me be for a while, until I was ready to talk, only asking me one further question before that.

“Is it bad?”

“It’s bad.”

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She shook her head.  I was glad I had Kanna-chan as a friend.  She knew the worst of my troubles with Daigo, and I’m sure she’d let me have it when I brought up exactly what I tried to do with Shota and Chigusa.  But I needed to get scolded by her first, before I could face either of those two again.

I’m such a hypocrite.

I don’t deserve Shota.  I deserve that piece of shit Daigo after all… no one decent would do to him what I just did, and if by chance they did, they deserve to get hit by a truck.

~~**  Tachibana Shota’s Point of View  **~~

Chigusa let me be spoiled by her, and I was in a much better place when she said I had to let her go, or she’d pee on me.  It was a tough call, because I was warm, and didn’t want to be left alone.

But the call of nature is strong, and Chigusa would be the one doing the laundry, so I relented.  I let her go, and rolled over to lay in the warmth of the spot she occupied.

I got up shortly after, and threw my boxers back on.  Maybe we’d revisit this later tonight, or if Mayuri-san came home, maybe not.  While I hadn’t expected my wife to renege on her promise, she had, and even so, I would forgive her and welcome her back in a heartbeat.

Mayuri-san was right about one thing, and so was Chigusa.  I deserved to put my arms around Chigusa and experience this pregnancy with her, because I did love her.  I’m not sure what the depth of that love is, but it’s there, and I do love her.

I dug through my pants and found my phone at half charge.  I quickly pulled up my contact list and sent a text to a certain middle aged lolita.

「If my wife is there, will you please accommodate her?  If she needs anything, I’ll reimburse you for whatever she needs, even time.  Just don’t leave her alone.」

Chigusa returned and I made a suggestion to her.

“Okay!”  She said enthusiastically.

Her attire was only panties and her low-cut spaghetti strap baby tee, showing off her scar in full view.  For me, just my boxers.

We hung out in the living room, and I let Chigusa order whatever she wanted on the contactless food delivery app.  She ordered two large pizzas, garlic bread with cheese and a large pasta with meatballs.

I could afford it.

Chigusa turned on the television, and I laid my head down in her lap.  Periodically, I’d touch her scar or kiss it.  I’d also kiss her belly and her thighs.  Then when it would be her turn to sit in my lap, she’d reach up and poke my nipples or pull my head down and steal a kiss from me.

The doorbell rang, letting me know the food was here, having been left on our doorstep as per the delivery instructions.  I fetched the food while only in my boxers, and Chigusa got the refreshments for us from the refrigerator.  A cola for me and a beer for her.

“Mom said just one every once in a while won’t do any harm.”

I didn’t argue.  Chigusa also brought some plates as well, and she threw on one of the streaming services the smart tv I owned had, finding some teen drama her delinquent friends Saori and Izumi had gone on about, that she hadn’t yet seen.

We were both sitting upright, but Chigusa was leaning into me.  I didn’t mind it at all.  Even though we had been lovers once, and done quite a bit after that which came close to what lovers do in recent weeks, in this very moment, she felt like my friend.

A friend who I had unchecked feelings for.

Of the two pizzas, hers was loaded to the top with every kind of meat they had.  Mine was half extra cheese and half combination, without green peppers.  We both went at it and regretted every bite when we were done in by all the grease.

“That was sooooo fuckin’ good.”

Chigusa nursed her beer slowly, and when it was done, she kept to her word and followed up with a cola for her second beverage.  We were just enjoying each other’s company, maybe as friends, maybe as more.

I found myself scooping my arm around her and she followed my pull, ending up on top of my lap.  Right now we were in the same position we were on that day after school, when we did it the first time.

“You said you wanted to wear that, and you wanted me to peel it off of you.”

“I was so scared of showing you it and you thinking that I was…”

I put my hands underneath her shirt and rolled her baby tee up, revealing her beautiful blemished breasts.  My hands gently kneaded them, and my head leaned forward to kiss the part of her scar which was in the gap between her breasts.

“I wish I had done more to make you feel comfortable enough to have trusted me at that time.”

“I did trust you… I was just…”

I lifted her breasts and kissed along the off-colored line of skin.  Chigusa was happy to put her arms around my neck and kiss the top of my head.

“Not that I’m complaining, but is there a reason you are doing this with me right now?”

“Can you think of it as a reward?”

“I can, but what am I being rewarded for?  After what happened, I thought you might be more upset with me.”

Did she think I was going to be unreasonable and blame her for taking a little advantage of the opportunity her own mother created for her?  We're both horny teenagers.  I’m not that unreasonable and indifferent to her feelings.

“I’m sure it was difficult to do what you did… since you keep professing how much you love me.”

“It hella was, you know!  I totally wanted to find out if it would be better the second time.  Mom was really enjoying it last night, having you inside of her.”

“Then… why did you stop?”

“Because I could feel how much you didn’t want to do it… not just with me, but with her too.”

“I… don’t like taking advantage of women who have lost their judgment.  Mayuri-san’s head was clouded with what happened earlier, and I was sure she would wake up in the morning and regret her decision if I let her continue.”

“But… you didn’t exactly stop me.”

“I know.  Because I wanted to believe in you.  Because the Chigusa I’m seeing now, is different from the one I dated.  As cruel as it is to say to you now, this Chigusa feels like my real girlfriend.”

“Your real girlfriend?”

I nodded my head, letting one hand slip from a breast which I promptly rectified with my own lips.  She didn’t protest one bit as I enjoyed the things she was most conscious about.  When I finished teasing her breast with my mouth, she pushed me back onto the couch and we made out for a long time.  Her breath was strong with garlic and I didn’t even care.  I was just enjoying this.  Yeah, I was weighed down with guilt, but I didn’t care at the moment.  We weren’t going to open any other doors, nor cross any extra lines.  We were just… two teenagers who were re-examining feelings we missed the first time.

For the rest of the afternoon we just sat there on the couch, kissing, petting, holding, and talking with each other.

“Tomorrow is the last day.  After that, I won’t be able to stop her from being born.”

“Are you okay with me being her father?  Are you okay with what this means for you at school… how this may affect your popularity and your friendships?”

“If you are asking me if I’m worried, of course I am.”

“Then… at the very least at school… you can say whatever you want.”

“So I can say we’re getting married and you’re totally a slave to my sexy pregnant body?”

“Whatever you think will make it easier for others to accept.  I will fill that role for you.  Keep enjoying your popular days.  Whatever you wish to aim for in the future, I will always support you.”

“Even if it’s to become just as loved in your heart as my mother is?”

“Even that.”

“Shota, you’re an asshole.”

“I know… I’m the absolute worst.”

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