Chapter 75: -10- Feelings Like Arrows

~~** Tachibana Shota’s Point of View **~~

 

The winter holidays were slowly creeping up on us. It was now impossible to deny that Chigusa was pregnant. Her baby bump was sufficiently pronounced now and after a second visit to the new doctor who was managing her care, Nishikata-sensei, she was told she didn’t need to watch her sodium intake, and apparently the large quantities of meat she consumed thanks to my wife liking to keep her family well-fed did wonders for her not acquiring any anemia-like symptoms.

Essentially, she was as healthy as a pregnant eighteen year old could be. Both Chigusa and I received a clean bill of health, having no sexually transmitted infections in our bloodwork. Mayuri-san also underwent an examination, and also got herself on birth control as well.

Mayuri-san was more concerned about my surety on her taking that step. It’s not that she wanted a baby immediately, we had talked about that at length, but somehow having the option to be able to make the spontaneous decision to have children was something she also wanted to keep.

I told her I was fine continuing to use condoms if she wished, but she said she also liked the natural feel of me sometimes and that those risky days where I could potentially knock her up also turned her on.

She’s really a bundle of contradictions sometimes.

Chigusa has been a bit emotional lately when it comes to her turns with me. Sometimes she’s into it, other times she’s decidedly not. The more I’ve been trying to show her I do love her, something Mayuri-san has definitely approved of, the more confusing her behavior gets.

Gone are the lap pillows and clinginess she once had. She looks almost haggard these days, and as much as I try to find out what’s got her down, she closes herself off with an “I’m fine!” and shuts down any communication in that direction.

I asked Izumi discreetly through a text if maybe something was going on with Chigusa, but she’s having the same problem. She doesn’t know either, but promised me if she happened to find out, she would let me know immediately. In return I was grilled on a number of questions as to my treatment of her, which actually caused her to get angry. Not at me, but at Chigusa, because apparently, I’ve been doing everything right for once.

Then there’s the matter of Nene-san…

For me, there is no desire to step over the line with her. I’ve said as much to my wife that anything I do would depend on the situation and that she would be fully clothed at all times should I engage in anything like that. Conversely, since those two took baths on occasion still, I was fine with anything that she felt comfortable allowing Nene-san to do.

“I feel like I can understand her relationship with Ukemi-san now.” She said to me, “While I don’t mind Nene touching me, I really don’t feel anything for her in that kind of way. It is fun to tease her, though.”

The matter of Nene-san’s feelings are still one-sided. She hadn’t been in our bed since that one night and morning afterward. I often add giving Nene-san a friendly kiss and hug, though not on the lips, in the morning along with my routine now of doing so with Mayuri-san and Chigusa.

On occasion, Kumi-chan will get a bit grumpy if I don’t give her one too, so I do, often following up with a ruffling of her hair, to which she yells at me afterwards. Since she’s dating Raita, how could I do anything more than that, even if she wants it?

Privately at least, Kumi-chan is vocal about her mom’s positive change of mood with me.

“Why couldn’t you have done that sooner, Shota-nii!”

Kumi and Raita had gone to Ukemi-san’s place to pick up a few things from her room, leaving a note and her key behind, thanking her for the time she had looked after her mother.

Mayuri-san had reported once that she had seen messages come in from Ukemi-san daily, but that she had never noticed Nene-san replying. I did worry that it was a problem which needed to be addressed by her, since it wasn’t a clean break and she didn’t say that reconciliation wasn’t impossible.

Nene-san did not want to have that conversation with me at all, though she did end up having it with my wife. How Mayuri-san got her to reply was easy. She went out and added Kumi-chan and Nene-san to our phone plan by purchasing them new phones. So now, next to the coffee-maker in the kitchen is the Ukemi-only hotline, and messages are replied to every morning when making her first cup of coffee, though from what I understand they are brief, almost indifferent and non-committal replies now.

In all likelihood, what I asked my wife to do… probably killed any hope for Ukemi-san to get back together with Nene-san.

Honestly, I should have kept my nose out of her business, but I don’t want Mayuri-san to become a target of a grudge from Ukemi-san, even unintentionally. If Chigusa wasn’t Mayuri-san’s daughter, likely that… would have been how it went for us as well.

There still hasn’t been any snowfall, but it’s gotten cold enough that the heater is running quite often. Chigusa is back to bundling up in unrevealing clothing, while Mayuri-san, being from up north, is perfectly fine wearing light clothing, even in the morning when sitting on the porch with the door open.

She’s perpetually warm, and even I take a moment to cuddle up to her on the rare days I wake up early too and come downstairs. Outside of the minor issues with Chigusa’s behavior, everything has been going smoothly.

At school, Raita has sworn to me that he hasn’t done anything improper with Kumi-chan except for a grope that she initiated. And Kuro-chan…

She’s been a bit off lately too.

“How are things going with Chigusa and your wife?” she asked me one day.

“I don’t know,” I answered her, explaining how she seemed to have changed recently, the more I tried to show her that I was willing to love her without holding back anymore. “Maybe it was only the chase she liked? I’m kind of worried, actually. But she won’t talk about it. Not even with Saori or Izumi.”

“Senpai… strictly from an erotic novelist inquiring… do they ever… do anything with each other?”

I shook my head.

“No. My wife has no desire to do anything incestuous.”

“Have you considered… maybe Chigusa wants to?”

“With Mayuri-san?”

Kuro-chan nodded.

“It’s supposed to be a threesome, but in the end it’s only you and each of them.”

“Isn’t that good enough?”

“Maybe you should bring it up next time. Maybe something can be allowed on your wife’s end, like some light touching perhaps?”

Considering what Mayuri-san was allowing Nene-san to do with her, perhaps if it was limited to a little bit of touch, she might not dismiss the idea entirely.

Kuro-chan, quite to my surprised ended up writing some kind of straight-to-lesbian netorare story that hit the top-fifty best one-shot rankings on a certain site I also published the free chapters of my story on. She was officially stigmatized by doing so, but her ratings and views remained solid. Her descriptions and passionate storytelling put her on the radar, and when asked what her inspiration was, the troublemaker said I was her sensei.

I had to deal with a ton of questions asked by my subscribers on my Fanbox account, as well as in private messages and even a thread dedicated to her current and future story ideas.

It was a hassle to deal with, but the positive thing is, the drop off I had when dealing with things last month evened out with a new influx of paying subscribers, so I had to take the good with the bad.

I have no intention of being an author in that genre though.

But Kuro-chan’s own reputation in the Literature club we were members of definitely skyrocketed, to the point of her often giving advice now to some members who saw that since we both could make it, they might be able to.

I was proud of her, no question about it, even if the genre is a bit... questionable.

Mayuri-san had bought tickets for our upcoming trip to Sapporo. It would be her, Chigusa, and myself. Nene-san was informed about it and said that she would be fine, since Kumi-chan would be here with her, as well as not minding that Raita would also be around.

“Go greet your wife’s family, enjoy your vacation, then come back safely with her. I’ll be fine here taking care of the house, I have Kumi to keep me company.”

Securing her wishes for safe traveling during the holidays, just a few days before Christmas, in our bedroom, Chigusa, Mayuri-san, and I had a certain conversation about what Kuro-chan had mentioned to me before.

“How can you call it a threesome if it’s only ever just Shota with each of us?” Chigusa said to her mother. “It’s not like I’m saying I want a face full of your pussy, just a bit of interaction with you from now on.”

Chigusa sounded like she was almost parroting what Kuro-chan said to me earlier; Mayuri-san was quick to show disinterest in it.

“Chigusa, please understand that you’re my daughter. It’s… not right for us to do that kind of thing with each other.”

“Why not? I’m fine with it! I’m perfectly fine with Shota blowing his load over your tits and then me licking it clean! I think it would be fun, and Shota might enjoy it too!”

I felt bad not shutting that last statement down, but I probably would have enjoyed the sight of that. That’s not to say I wished for Mayuri-san to think that I wanted her to do something that is outside of her comfort zone, especially since she’s already doing something close to that with Nene-san to begin with.

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“If I was only his mistress on the side it would be one thing, or if he hadn't shown me how enjoyable it could really be then it wouldn’t be a problem… but you were the one who pushed for this, and this is what needs to happen.”

“It can’t! You’re my baby girl, Chigusa! How can I do something like that with you? It’s… not…”

“It’s not what? You both are already basically fucking Nene-san. Do you think I’m blind? You can do that kind of shit with her, so what’s the big deal with me? We’re both in love with him and we swap cunt juice every night. You’re really going to bullshit me with what you can’t do because I’m your daughter? You pushed your husband way outside of his own morality just to get him to fuck me, because you’ve got some fucked up sense of guilt you needed to alleviate, but when you need to own up and take responsibility, your true self finally comes out.”

Mayuri-san’s hand flew from Chigusa’s provocation and struck her daughter across the cheek. She didn’t even flinch when receiving it.

“That’s twice now you’ve seen she has no problem striking someone. Furthermore, that person is me, her own flesh and blood carrying her oh-so-precious grandchild that you fathered. Do you really think if Nene-san is here she’s worth more than that in her eyes? That’s the true face your precious time bomb of a wife with an nasty inferiority complex hides from you. I should know about those, since I have one too, only I at least keep mine on the outside.”

Chigusa got up and opened the door.

“I’ll be staying at a friend's house. This is probably it for us, so you two can do whatever you want from now on, I won’t bother you anymore.”

She left the room, and from the sound of the loud bang downstairs, the house as well. Mayuri-san wasn’t looking good after that, holding the hand which struck her daughter while staring at it in disbelief.

“S-shota… I…”

“It’s okay, Mayuri.”

I said it to her, but Chigusa’s words were hard to digest because there was some truth in them. All I could do was offer a consoling hug to my wife, but only knowing her for nearly six months… Did I really know my wife’s tendencies? It indeed wasn’t the first time they got physical. Hell, on the first day after summer break, didn’t the same thing happen? Mayuri-san slapped Chigusa and then dragged her outside by her hair?

Was my wife actually a violent person?

Chigusa was pregnant at both occasions, though this one was done with full knowledge that she was. Using violence against your pregnant daughter…?

Mayuri-san…

Violence isn’t something I can really tolerate. I’ve never raised my hand to a woman, and outside of an acceptable thing, like punching Raita lightly in the shoulder for being an asshole, I’ve never lost myself in anger to it either.

I couldn’t, because I’ve seen what the results of it are firsthand with Nene-san.

The woman I’m in love with, the woman who loves me, and the woman who is afraid of love. I’m surrounded by an impossible to deal with situation for someone without the head for how to properly navigate this unusual relationship between us. And it’s going to be my fault if I can’t figure out a way to fix it before it’s too late.

But how do I fix it?

I feel like I would lose Mayuri-san’s trust if I asked her to get more involved with her daughter, and she has a right to refuse something as morally complex as engaging in incest. If I were to get Nene-san an apartment for her and Kumi-chan, Chigusa could have the room to herself again, and I could come and go. I don’t think Mayuri-san would object to that…

I just don’t know what is going on in Chigusa’s mind.

Why does she suddenly care about being physical with her own mother during sex? Is there some outside influence telling her she needs to do that? Even after dating Chigusa for as long as I had, the Chigusa that came to live with me… wasn’t the same one I remembered. I mean she was initially, but after just a few days I’d seen so many new sides to her, I’m still left baffled when something unexpected like this happens.

Mayuri-san wanted me to leave her alone for a bit, so I went downstairs and found Nene-san there removing a beer from the fridge.

“What’s wrong, Shota?”

Nene-san didn’t need more than a single look at me to understand I was in a place of insecurity. So we sat down and talked, and I explained what happened upstairs.

“I can get where she’s coming from. It would be difficult to do that with my Kumi as well. But it’s true that the nature of the relationship your wife intended may not have been fully grasped by both sides when it was suggested.”

“What do you think I should do to fix this situation, Nene-san?”

“Forget fixing it. What do you want to happen? Do you want to see Chigusa being that open sexually with your wife?”

I pondered on it for a little bit while Nene-san drank.

“I’d like to know more about how each of them feels about it.”

“Shota,” her hand reached out and took hold of my wrist. “Before that, the idea of Mayuri and Chigusa in your bedroom doing lewd things with each other as well as you. Do you yourself want that to be where things end up?”

“I love Mayuri. It’s not fair to Chigusa, but I prioritize her happiness. If she hates it, I don’t want to force it.”

“Then you should end it with her.”

“With who? Chigusa?”

“Yes. I mean you can’t even answer the most basic question a healthy teenage boy can be asked honestly. All you’ll end up doing by trying to talk with either of them is hurt them more. Just tell Chigusa it’s over and be with your wife like you want.”

“…”

“Shota, you can’t remain passive and expect them to resolve this without knowing you have an opinion on the matter, and you must have an opinion even if you won’t say it aloud. Either you want to see it, or you don’t. And if you don’t, what is she doing in your room being part of a threesome in the first place?”

Nene-san thinks Chigusa’s argument has merit?

“Arata may have taught you the rules for caring for a wife, but you don’t only have one now, do you? Just like me long ago, you gave her a ring too, didn’t you?”

“You mean that cheap one with the octopus-thing that cost 3,000 yen?”

Nene slid off her ring and held it before my eyes.

“How much did this cost you back then?”

“…after tax just a little over 5,000 yen. I was only able to sell that console for 8,000 and I saved the rest to buy Kumi-chan some things…”

“5,000 yen. Yet to me, it’s priceless. This ring which will never fit is worth more to me than your legal wife’s which clearly cost a small fortune. Chigusa feels the same about hers, because it was you who bought it for her at the end of a date where she thought… she could still belong to you. To her, that was your proposal.”

“It was just a ring…”

“Then, is this just a ring, too?”

Nene-san placed it on the table. I felt my heart ache as I stared at it.

“I guess, for you it is. But that won’t change its meaning to me. That’s why even if it never fit, I kept it as close to my heart as I possibly could for all these years.”

She undid her necklace and slid the ring back on it.

She got up and walked over to the coffeemaker and looked at her phone, typed something then turned it off.

“Go comfort your wife. You left her alone long enough.”

Nene-san left me alone in the kitchen after discarding her empty beer can and I was left looking at the staircase leading upstairs, but the thought in my head was of how comfortable the couch might be to sleep on tonight instead of my own bed.

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