Chapter 19: Take One Step Back

The rest of the day flew by quite anticlimactically. It wasn't like having a plan meant I had preparation.

Mastery over 'Evil Mana' as a Demon meant I could essentially do anything so long as it was wicked.

Things such as slavery or buffing evil individuals.

Maybe even more than that.

But everything was useless if I didn't know my limitations and what the backbone for my plan was.

People often said that a plan needed to be flexible to a certain extent. Able to change with variables.

I agreed.

That's why instead of doing anything big like attacking banks, I was browsing around the web.

It wasn't really that entertaining to be honest, but it was best decision I made up until this point. I was completely floored when the realisation hit me that Insightful Savant… could work in unexpected ways.

It all started with looking into some criminal athletes. Those who had done some horrid stuff.

Some even escaping the hand of the law because people wanted them to win a shiny cup or another.

Was this the work of pride or apathy?

Probably both. There was one particular athlete that escaped imprisonment by sheer popularity.

It made me want to look into more of these fuckers outside of prison. I'd be doing the world a favour.

Did I hate criminals despite being a demon myself?

Yeah… After all, every family man would hate having dangerous people walking around them,

Even if they couldn't harm my family now, what about the future? What if my brother had a child?

It made my first priority collecting people with bad intentions, which I'd measure with my own eyes.

As a demonic being, I was able to measure the capacity for 'Evil' and the 'Sins' painting a person.

This was an instinctive sense.

Similar to how an animal could sometimes sense evil intentions, even if it didn't look that obvious.

As I was doing my research like a normal guy, a video of a basketball player winning a game appeared. It was the sort of advertisement that would be erased the moment it turned up.

Well, that… as well as sexual enhancers.

Anyway, the moment my eyes saw the technique used by the basketball star… I knew it internally.

That I could replicate it.

Testing this theory came as easy as moving back a little and perfectly copying the motions of the shot.

Along with perfect clarity over personal physics.

The imaginary ball fell into the imaginary hoop. It was a discovery that changed plans drastically.

Bruce Lee once said a quote equivalent to those with perfect mastery of moves being better than skin-deep 'dabblers'. Fighters who had more than one move-set, but were limited in their execution.

The reason being a lack of actual practice.

Normally, to master anything in life, you needed to work up the ladder to 'Learn'>'Practice'>'Utilise'.

1. 'Learn' the move first. Understand the context behind it and what purpose it theoretically served.

2. 'Practice' the move beforehand. Make sure you can execute that action the way it's intended.

This is similar to practicing math formulas with different calculations, or sparring with a friend.

3. 'Utilise' the move in battle. Whether it be in an exam or by actually fighting a round that mattered.

Some would say this was the last stage. Getting to use what you learned in a context that mattered.

Like fighting for real.

But that was only a lie told by instructors. Those who wanted to keep students in the learning loop.

By stopping them from experiencing a loss, they'd fuel this loser mindset of never being prepped. 

Never having practiced enough for the real thing.

It was because the 'real thing' could never be prepared for. The rush of adrenaline and anxiety.

Which is why most stopped at 'Utilisation'.

Only experienced athletes and fighters could tell you that there is a fourth level above that stage.

The 4th stage being 'Evolution'.

It was when you internalised the knowledge through real combat to acquire your own insights.

After all, true pioneers in any subject are those who have mastered their knowledge to work beyond it.

Engineers who were taught humans could fly, but broke that misconception by evolving their data.

Creating knew things based on existing concepts.

For me, this was a far off goal to attain right now.

Even if I'd fought with Clarissa Pine, such a battle would never extend beyond being simple sparring.

It was because she couldn't see me as an enemy.

Doing whatever she could to destroy my heart and mind. Cutting me into ribbons with her sword.

Such a thing was too extreme for us.

I couldn't 'evolve' right now, but my Gift allowed me to skip the first three stages of learning easily.

After using them in the field, I wondered how my way of using piled up knowledge would evolve.

That would be an interesting experience to have.

It made browsing through the internet much more worthwhile, and allowed me to accumulate skills.

As night fell with my skills still being immature and incomplete, a hand scared me by grabbing my shoulder. From the look of it, Clarissa was getting ready to sleep. Looking more relaxed than usual.

The only problem for me was what she wore…

Who knew she was the type to wear her underwear to bed, and not the pretty type regular girls wore.

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Instead, she was wearing a sports bra and panty.

The dark green camouflage colour looked a bit militaristic, which somehow made it more erotic.

A feeling hard to describe.

What was this feeling when a charming and serious woman stripped down nude. Exposing themselves.

Unashamed of their own beauty.

I tried to pry my eyes away and look back at the screen, but I couldn't erase this feeling whatsoever.

Wanting to look at that eye candy as a man.

Appreciate it like the wonders of art itself.

'Insightful Savant' could suppress my feelings, but it couldn't erase the sinful seeds that my heart had planted. This only became worse when she leaned on the back of the computer chair I was sitting on.

Her rough hands touching my shoulders firmly.

"How are things going?" Clarissa sounded a bit lethargic. It looked like she wasn't a night person.

"Good. I'm getting a lot of ideas from this." (Adam)

"That so…" She didn't seem that excited to know I was getting everything done in such a manner.

"…Is there something wrong?" (Adam)

"Nothing…" (Clarissa)

"Criticism without giving any sort of solutions or compromise is a bad habit. Be honest." (Adam)

"Like you?" The girl's words struck my heart for the first time. I wondered what she was talking about.

But I didn't show it on my face.

"…I'm trying." I was really doing my best right here.

"Your best." (Clarissa)

"I'm the type to work hard at what I do." (Adam)

"You sure seem motivated." (Clarissa)

"…What's that supposed to mean? Tell me. As I am now, wouldn't I be a threat to the world?" (Adam)

"As you are now? You wouldn't be able to do anything. Much less threaten the world." Clarissa didn't sugarcoat it. Despite my recent monstrous improvements, I was far from being infallible.

"I'll use whatever I can to my advantage. I-" (Adam)

"You lied about being related to me, didn't you?" A speech I'd prepared was interrupted cleanly.

Following that interruption was an uncomfortable silence. A choking feeling of my throat tightening.

She merely hugged my neck from the back, but the discomfort had taken a stranglehold on my voice.

Making me unable to speak.

I felt powerless when she turned the computer chair to face her. Those eyes looking in deep.

Seeing me for who I was this entire time.

Not some accomplice she could trust without reservations, but a pathological liar with no sense.

A fool who couldn't even deceive her properly.

"…Was it the Empath thing that gave me away?" I didn't reject her statement. This HAD TO happen.

"Even before all that, you hadn't been giving me any of the respect they would've told you to give me. You forgot about your 'setting' too easily." To my own surprise, Clarissa didn't reproach me.

Only pointing out my flaws.

"…Now what?" We had gone in too deep into each other's lives. I didn't want to split with her over this.

Was that a selfish thought?

Absolutely. I was ashamed to admit it to myself, but I'd grown attached to her… It sounded so shameful.

After tricking, deceiving, and secretly invading her privacy… A man like me dared to have this feeling.

This possessiveness and desire.

"Let's balance the scales." I didn't know what she meant by that, but she didn't entertain my deceit.

Even if it was subconscious…

Clarissa continued: "Don't act like you don't know what I mean. Turn off that 'calming' Gift you use."

"…I can't." I tried to look away.

But she grabbed my chin and made me face her gaze directly. Showing her willingness to trust.

She just wanted me to make the first move.

To, for once, put down my defences properly.

No lies.

No deceit…

"Do you think I'd do that just because you told me to?" Despite what I felt, my fears were stronger.

Being raised while constantly being on edge from outside forces had made me reject any intimacy.

As that was the only way to protect myself.

"You don't have to." Clarissa didn't press me. She smiled and tapped my shoulder: "I'm here for you."

Such acceptance only made me feel worse.

"I… I-" (Adam)

"Don't bother forcing an answer. Let's do some other thing… Yeah. Let's watch TV a bit." (Clarissa)

"Sounds good." I put my 'research' for future goals to the side to focus on the problems in front of me.

The issues hadn't subsided yet…

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