Chapter 20: Ideals

It looked like every TV remote had a function that could only be accessed by those with Qi or Mana.

Regardless of what you called it, this was the universal energy that only 'they' knew of.

People from the hidden side of the world.

Those who her no similarities, but coexisted in the fact that they weren't to affect the real world.

If they did do, disorder and chaos would spread throughout society. Advance it into unknowns.

And humans were terrifyingly afraid of the enigmas of fate. Only seeing darkness ahead as a society.

Except for those individuals who strayed from the friendly sheeple. Daring to disturb the 'peace'.

Quiet as the world was, one couldn't find it perfect.

Flaws existed in every society. 

But one thing that never changed was that entertainment was used to distract the public.

Allowing the bigger corporations to fill their belly.

What Clarissa showed me was exactly this kind of advertisement for Awakeners and Exorcists.

["Welcome to tonight's game of Shaolin Soccer!"]

An announcer did well trying to hype up the audience by speaking of the nationals and different teams. The only problem was, for a newbie like myself, anything he spoke of sounded too strange.

I'd only understood that these matches were held and sponsored by the 'Shaolin Temple' and Monks.

Buddhism, apparently…

Rather than asking for details, I let myself enjoy the surprising show. Five people walked to the stage-

I mean: The Stadium.

A quite smaller soccer pitch than what you'd see in professional matches. Lessening my hype a little.

The audience behind the fences caging the athletes inside the field looked more exhilarated.

["Let's introduce the Hero Party. Dark horses that had risen through the league despite consisting of unaffiliated players."] The crowd cheered for the five-man team that dressed like a 'Hero Party'.

Complete with an armour wearing leader, black Mage lady, priestess, tank, and rowdy scout.

This seemed to be their little gimmick. Like how wrestlers had their roles going into big matches.

Seeming too ideal to be their real personalities.

It was when the next batch came in that I'd realised how far they'd go to for their entertaining personas.

A meteor struck the ground. 

["And the players you've all been waiting for…! The phoenixes of the south: Vermilion Bridges!"] The genre changed when a group of two men at back and three women in front appeared from flames.

Wearing costumes that fit their eastern personas.

Despite being a smaller society, these people were a lot more motivated when it came to wasting time.

Was this the state of the world at large?

["Let's start the match!"] There were no talks of managers and those who made this match possible. Since they didn't even explain what the rules were, I had to guess them by myself.

Which wasn't really that difficult.

There was a ball in the middle of the stage the two teams fought over. Trying to score with it.

But that was where it diverged from the 'soccer' I knew of. The 'Mage' of the Hero Party chanted to invoke pillars of flames. The 'Hero' used his sword to strike opponents. Everyone acted like gladiators.

Well, at least they avoided handballs at least…?

I wasn't sure whether to call it cheating or not when the 'Tank' used a wall shield a a goalkeeper.

The players and audience didn't seem to think so.

Things started to become interesting the more I watched. Grabbing my attention to a certain extent.

But it didn't make me forget why I was here.

Both me and Clarissa sat close on the small sofa in the living room. The house wasn't that decorated.

It seemed to be furnished for merely two or more residents. Despite the mansion's size, the places that could be used for living were small rooms. It was this inconsistency that made me curious.

What was hidden here?

What was going on in her heart?

"Aren't you going to watch?" After noticing me turn my head to her, Clarissa responded lightheartedly.

She lifted the remote and was about to hand to me with a chill attitude. Showing I had my freedoms.

If I wanted to change the channel, I could.

I refused such an ordinary favour and asked her:

"Don't you hate me?" (Adam)

"For what?" Clarissa pulled my arm body.

I knew she had superior hearing at this point, so her actions were just an excuse to approach me.

And that there was no way she didn't know 'what'.

"For lying to you." (Adam)

"Ah… You're right." Clarissa closed her eyes and thought. She leaned her head on top of my own.

It wasn't that I was particularly small (despite what I usually say). This woman was just a bit too tall.

She had a tomboy face and posture. It wasn't like she 'felt like a guy', but more 'acted like a dude'.

Showing no shame leaning her chest on my back.

Why did I feel like such a child in her arms?

I originally thought I'd liked shorter women with pretty faces. Girls similar to her younger sister.

So why was I feeling seduced by this?

Maybe it was thanks to having seen her perspective and empathised enough to see her as a women. Those 'turn off' features like modest chest size and scars now seemed like eye candy.

"Was what you did 'Evil'?" She broke the silence.

The TV was muted, and I couldn't see her face. It made the quiet atmosphere way too stressful.

"I should have been honest with you." (Adam)

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"We wouldn't be here if you did that. I'd still be under that bitch's command, and Abby-" (Clarissa)

"Still, you can't form a relationship on lies." (Adam)

"That's why you're being honest? Not because I figured it out early?" Clarissa found my weak point.

"Better late than never." (Adam)

"Exactly." Clarissa turned me on her lap and looked at my face: "Now that it's all clear. That's enough."

"Is it…?" I couldn't believe her words.

"Don't you believe me?" (Clarissa)

"I wouldn't have forgiven me in your shoes." The moment I said that, she scoffed in response.

Pointing at my nose rudely.

"YOU are the Empath here. YOU manipulated my feelings." Clarissa accused: "And YOU saved me."

"…Huh?" I didn't know how to react to that.

It was a drastic shift in her attitude.

"We might be demons now, but I'm happy that I don't have to sin on the behalf of others." Clarissa looked sincere while holding my hands: "If I commit a sin from now on, I'd be the one who chose it."

It was these words that made me realise that she was way more than just the 'monster' others saw.

The murderer who slaughtered the families of those who'd fell under her competent leadership.

She was also a person.

A murderer, a sister, a monster, and all her labels and what I experienced all wrapped into a ball.

My 'Narration' ability wasn't everything. 

There was no way to categorise 'humans' into heroes and demons. Only actions being judged.

What laid underneath different from the surface.

It blurred the line between good and evil.

She was a good sister, but a terrible murderer, and a normal victim threatened by Sophia's blackmail.

"I'm not sure if choosing to do 'Evil' is supposed to be a good thing." I shook my head, and she agreed:

"Right. That's just my choice." (Clarissa)

"I'm planning to destroy society." (Adam)

"As 'evil' that deserves death?" (Clarissa)

"There isn't any other choice if I want to save them." Just telling people of my 'revelation' wouldn't work. There was no way anyone would believe that abominations would suddenly invade.

"Isn't that a good intention?" (Clarissa)

"I'm not delusional enough to think 'good intent' can make up for killing people. I've already stained my hands not too long ago." That ordinary cab driver was my true first victim. An innocent…

"If you're hesitating over it, then why not find a new way to do 'evil'?" Clarissa gave me a proposal.

"What do you mean?" (Adam)

"You could try to change the world for the better if you tried. Not simply killing people." (Clarissa)

"…That defeats my point." (Adam)

"Does it? You want the world to be prepared for the wholly unexpected. What better way to do that than changing the world yourself? Or do you trust politicians and big corporations to do it for you?"

Although Clarissa spoke briefly, her words made me think beyond what I'd originally planned myself.

Do I trust the world and its people?

When the question got inflated to that point, I'd realised my thoughts were unintentionally naive.

Who would fight to fulfil my end goals?

It didn't matter what I did on my own. Without the rest of humanity onboard with me, it would all fail.

That was the contradiction of doing evil for good.

No matter how 'good' your evil intentions, there was no way to tell how bad things affected others.

We lived in a world where stronger feelings and intentions would actually make things worse.

"I was being irrational." I shook my head.

Despite having my 'Insightful Savant', it looked like I was far from being the bastion of logic I'd believed.

If that was the case, then I had no use for it anymore… Fine. I'd let things play how she wanted.

After taking a deep breath for myself, I lifted my hand and was about to touch my own head.

It was a little scary…

What would happen if my ability turned off?

My instincts were telling me that Insightful Savant was protecting me. Keeping my mind stable,

But this kind of stability wasn't true strength.

'Strength' was what Clarissa had in her eyes. The ability to keep calm despite not using an ability.

Being more than just an ordinary swordswoman.

I was an man of envy who kept on being moved by her strength of mind. The ability to adapt herself.

Such envy was unsightly.

If I wanted such strength for myself, it was time to stop being a wimp and face the world head-on.

The moment my Insightful Savant turned off, all that deep mess of insecurities and regret surfaced.

Feeling like I'd shamed all who ever knew me. 

When I finally awoke out of my downward spiral of depression, the light from the window nudged me.

I awoke to see Clarissa sleeping by my side.

And a red stain on the bedsheet.

It took a while before I'd realised what exactly happened… Fuck, didn't she trick me?!

Memories from earlier starred stirring.

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