Chapter 41: Chapter 41 – A Simple Plan

Chapter 41 - A Simple Plan

While Jax busied herself with cleaning up the mess, I glanced over at Hess. After her ability had discharged, a visible sense of relief had settled over her. Whatever tension had been holding her in its grip was finally gone, and as she took her first deep breath of clean air, I felt the faintest of clicks as she allowed the secondary effects of my abilities back in.

Which was new.

Maybe it was a sign of my own improvement with them, or perhaps I was just getting more in tune with Hess, herself. In any case, as she was smiling faintly to herself, she glanced over at me and caught me watching her. That caused her grin to grow slightly, and she winked at me.

Jax noticed, of course. Silently padding over to me, she deposited our newest Gem into my palm. Whispering so that only I could hear, she said, “She were nay pleased to be without yer presence so long.”

“My presence?” I asked curiously. “What do you mean?”

“Yer aura and such. She were feelin’ abandoned. Cut off.” Smiling kindly, she bent over and kissed my cheek, ”I told ye before. Yer in her blood now, Donum.”

At that rather esoteric statement, she stood and looked over her shoulder at the woman, who, I noticed, had a bit of a scowl on her face from watching us. Closing the few steps between us, Jax patted her taught stomach muscles, “He responds to yer desire. Show him what ye want, and ye will receive in kind.”

Hess’ scowl deepened for a moment but quickly turned contemplative. Glancing between us, she muttered, “And you’re okay with that?”

A look of confusion briefly crossed Jax’s face before she smiled, “I said ye had the right, did I nay?” Chuckling to herself, she prodded, “What happened to yer confidence? Ye used to flirt so unabashed!”

“That was before…!”

Jax quickly poked her, “Shh! Mind yerself!”

Silent for a moment, we all nervously looked down the alley, but no one had been passing by just then. Fortunately.

“If we’re going to have this conversation,” I said quietly, easing into the tension, “Perhaps it’s best we moved back into the tunnels?”

Rubbing at her belly from where Jax had jabbed her with her claw, Hess sighed, “No. It can wait.” Glancing over at me, she gave me a bit of an uncertain smile.

With a bit of a crooked one of my own, I just spread my hands. Jax and I had connected quite a bit over the previous evening. In more ways than one. But chief among them was the notion that Jax had first claim on me. In her words, ‘ye be mine’.

What precisely she meant by that was still a little unclear to me, however. Obviously, sexual access was a component. If there was more to it than that… well, it would not surprise me. Actually, I rather hoped so. Jax was a lilim now, and the emotions at play in her were baffling to say the least. However, this felt like a relationship to my mind. And a relationship should be built on more than just ‘sexual access’.

Regardless, Sherr Hess had not had the benefit of the last evening’s conversation. On her end, Jax had gone from literally attacking her at the merest hint that she might be interested to openly encouraging her in the span of a day. It was no wonder she was feeling lost.

I was, too! And I was at the center of it!

In any case, whatever had been building between Hess and I had predictably stalled. No doubt, after Jax had made her rather emphatic claim over me, Hess had decided to back off. But now that Jax had changed her tune, we seemed to have entered into shaky ground.

The question was what, if anything, should I do from here? Obviously, whatever Hess decided that she wanted was on her. I just needed to make sure that she felt comfortable in that decision. Or really, just comfortable to be around us.

And as I recalled, Hess had been provoking me into some sort of ‘flirting lessons’. That seemed like as good a place to start as any. Flirting was a lot like banter, after all. And banter helped people feel like they belonged. It just needed to feel natural. So… that meant that whatever I said, it needed to flow naturally into the conversation. I could do that. It might come off as incredibly awkward, but I could do that.

I just needed a lead up.

Making eye contact again with Hess, I crooked a finger at her. As she padded over and bent down, I whispered, “Look, I’m not going to claim that I understand all of it, but Jax says there’s something about rules and orders to how things are supposed to proceed. Whatever you want to do, she says that she has to have done it first. When it comes to me, anyway.” I figured a little explanation would be helpful here. “Like… she got really upset when she found out that you kissed me first. So, if you wanted to do something else, like… for instance… filling out my underwear?” I left the thought hanging, suggestively. Or I hoped it was.

Hess crooked an eyebrow at me, suddenly a master once again judging her apprentice. Deciding to help me along, she prompted, “Would you say that I fill them out… nicely?”

Smiling faintly, I looked away, “Well… I wouldn’t want to say anything inappropriate. But they look better on you than they ever did on me.”

Her smile broadened and she began to work at her bottom lip. Suddenly, a gleam appeared in her eye and she looked over at Jax, whom I immediately noticed had a look that spoke volumes. Like she was regretting having stirred the pot.

Hess straightened once more and went to stand next to her. Affecting a formal air, she quietly announced, “It has been brought to my attention that there has been a breech in protocol.” So saying, she abruptly dropped trou, and snatching them up from the ground again, she dangled my underwear by her finger right under Jax’s nose, “It would seem that you have first claim to these. My sincerest apologies.”

My face went flat. Groaning internally, I shook my head. Why the fuck had I thought it was a good idea to pour gasoline onto the ever-burning torch that was Sherr Hess?

Nervously glancing between Hess, bent in half and presenting my briefs like some treasure to her queen, and Jax, who was staring down at them with her arms crossed, I swallowed. They had hardly been clean when Hess had stolen them in the first place, and now… Well, not an hour ago, she had been doing… things to them. Enthusiastically.

I was just surprised that she had not winced from pulling them away from herself, considering.

However, as the silence stretched, I gradually became aware that Jax was looking… conflicted.

My eyes slowly widened. Surely… I mean… There’s no way… Why would she…

Without warning, Jax made a decision, and quickly plucking them from her finger, she stepped into them. Sliding them up under her breechcloth, she crossed her arms once more, and affecting the same tone that Hess had, she whispered fiercely, “There. Protocol met.” And just as quickly as she could, she dropped them to the ground again with a shiver of disgust.

Throwing them back into Hess’ face, she growled, “And me claim be relinquished.”

 

After that little incident, things proceeded relatively smoothly. Of course, not every pull resulted in just a single Goblin, but Jax was quick on the uptake. They responded quite well to overt and obvious sexual provocation, and Hess was powerful enough to take them out without much fuss. Although there were no further beheadings, her arrow continued to be just as deadly whether it was thrown or directly inserted between a set of unsuspecting ribs. And besides, most of the time, they did not even notice her, so intent were they on Jax.

“Feh…” Jax muttered in disgust after the latest round, “I ill like havin’ their eyes on me. Foul things.”

“I thought you liked lust,” Hess asked, genuinely curious.

Jax looked at her for a moment like she was crazy, but then she sighed and shook her head, “I forget meself. Ye nay can feel it yet.” Chuckling, she knocked a knuckle against her forehead. “Nay, hen. No feelings from them. Just beasties.” So saying, she went about converting them into Gems to clear the field.

There was a moment of silence then, as Hess watched her going about her business. Perhaps, she was considering the future. Who can say?

In any case, we had amassed a small collection of tools and implements that the Goblins had been carrying with them. For whatever reason, when they were converted to Gems, everything they had been wearing was converted with them, but held objects were simply dropped to the ground. So, aside from a few miscellaneous objects, we now had a short sword, two daggers, a hammer, and a short bow with exactly three wooden arrows. All in abysmal condition.

“You’re sure you don’t want this bow?” I asked.

“What would I do with it?” Hess replied reasonably, walking over to me. “It’s Goblin make. And barely a cubit long.”

Holding the thing aloft, I grinned. Just trying to imagine the huge warrior wielding such a tiny weapon was ludicrous. And with the way she could throw her arrow, it was understandable that she would discard the bow out of hand. In the short term, at least. Eventually, we would need to get her something to shoot with, if only to increase her effective range.

“What about any of the rest of this stuff?” I asked. “You might could use the short sword.”

Grimacing down at the weapon, she gestured for me to hand it to her. The pommel barely fit in her hand, and after waving it around a couple of times, she attempted to flex the blade. With a dull ping, it promptly snapped in half.

“’Snails…” she muttered in surprise, apparently not expecting it to be quite that bad. Dejectedly tossing the pieces aside, she said, “I guess I’ll make due with the arrow. It’s sharp. And at least it doesn’t break.”

Nodding sadly, I looked over the rest of the implements. The daggers were so dull as to be useless, but they could probably be sharpened. Meanwhile, the hammer, while small, had a bit of heft to it, so I claimed it for myself. Ideally, I would not need it, but you never knew.

And it was better than swinging a dead rat around.

“I don’t see no more Goblins,” Jax announced, just as an oblivious Gobborn walked past. The huge, green-skinned creature was like a Goblin in reverse. Instead of a small, spindly body with a head just a little too big, it had a gigantic, fat torso, with short, stubby legs and a way too-small head.

And it was pushing around a wheel-barrow. There was nothing in it, that I could see. Just a random bit of window dressing.

After a moment, it was past us, and the end of the alley was clear.

“Hess,” I motioned at her. Quickly casting my camouflage on her, I said, “Sneak to the end of the alley, and take a quick look. Let’s get a head count, and plan from there.” Just because there were no more passing us by, that did not mean there were no more in the town.

With a quick nod, Hess skipped to the end of the alley, slowing as she went and hugging the wall. Just before she got there, the Gobborn passed by again. This time, it was idly thumping its own head with its wheelbarrow. It looked bored out of its mind. But it never bothered to look anywhere but at its own feet.

I shook my head. Did these things seriously not notice that their own compatriots were slowly disappearing? Or did they just not care?

Either way, I was all about it. A weakness of attention was still a weakness. And we were exploiting it for all we were worth.

After a moment, Hess returned, her face grim, “There are maybe fifteen to twenty Goblins left, that I can see. Jax and I could handle them without a problem right now…”

“But?” I prompted.

“But there’s six Gobborns,” she finished.

“Six?!” Jax hissed. “How we supposed to take six Gobborns?”

Hess just shook her head, “There’s more. That monster that we saw the night before last? It’s still there. But it’s asleep. And surrounded by a protective field.”

“A field?” Jax repeated. “Why have yer biggest threat behind a field?”

Why indeed? By all accounts, having all of your cards on the table would certainly give you the most power to fight with. Unless… “Maybe it’s the night watch,” I hypothesized. “Remember, we didn’t see any of these Goblins around before. And this Dungeon seems to have different phases. During the day, we have these guys to deal with. At night…”

Hess nodded, “Right. I think it may be guarding something, too. Can’t tell from here.”

“Ain’t another chest is it?” Jax asked suspiciously.

Hess just kissed the air at her.

“Alright…” Ignoring their antics, I motioned them to come sit, “The way I see it, we have two options. One, we keep trying to thin the herd. I don’t know what will happen if we try our strategy on a Gobborn. But if we can’t one-shot it…”

“Likely,” Hess interrupted. “They’re thick-skinned bastards. I’d have to be incredibly lucky to kill one in a blow.”

“Right… well, things will get complicated real fast, in that case,” I sighed. “Two, we get their attention, and fight a retreating action down into the tunnels. With my motion-lines spell, we should have a slight edge over them down there.”

“A slight edge isn’t going to do much against those kinds of numbers,” Hess argued.

Shaking my head in resignation, I spread my hands, “Then I’m open to suggestions.”

We all sat silently after that. Hess was right. With the numbers involved, it was deceptively easy to get overwhelmed, and even though she probably would not bat an eye at the Goblins, all it would take would be for one to latch onto her swinging arm at the wrong moment while she was handling the larger threats.

Taking out an entire town was no easy task, after all. I mean, I had certainly done it before while gaming, but in those cases, there was a lot of trial, error, and a hefty amount of luck involved. If you tried and failed, then it was no big deal to try something else after you reloaded the game or respawned. Assuming you did not rage-quit in the process. We did not have that kind of luxury.

Most of us, anyway.

Scratching my chin, I wondered if I could use that to our advantage. Technically… I probably could. It would suck for Jax, though, and I hated to use her like that. True, she had died once already, but it was unlikely that she would consider it a pleasant thing to experience again. Plus, the respawn timer was atrocious.

No, what we needed was something fool-proof…

“What about them scarecrows?” Jax wondered aloud, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“What about them?” Hess prompted with a raised eyebrow.

“They be right outside the town, do they nay?” Jax explained. “Could we lure them in? Use the Dungeon against its ownself?”

“And how exactly would we do that?” Hess asked. “Toss a rock and hope that they suicide by curiosity?”

“It be workin’ so far.”

“Only because you’re such prime Goblin bait,” Hess teased.

Judging from her look, Jax was preparing for a typically blistering retort, so I quickly jumped in to divert her, “I think it’s a good idea, Jax. If we could turn that kind of fire power to our use…”

Mollified, she smiled at me, but I continued, “I think Hess is right, though. We would definitely need something more substantial than a rock to use as bait. In fact, I’m not sure that’s the right approach at all. No matter how dumb those Goblins are, it would be ridiculous to assume we could get the lot of them to run into such an obvious death trap. No matter how enticing the bait.”

Though I half expected Hess to latch onto my innuendo, the severity of the problem before us was sobering, and we descended into silence once more, each lost in our own thoughts.

Slowly, I began formulating a plan. Perhaps, I could get Hess to take another tombstone and rush the town. With all the speed she had built up over the last day, she could easily evade the denizens and run out into the scarecrows. I had no doubt that she would survive the attempt, and she would probably take a few of them with her as they gave chase.

But what happened after that would be the problem. After they recognized the danger, they would just wait her out. She would have no where to go but through them again. At best we would be back to where we started… though perhaps with one or two fewer Gobborns. It was better than nothing, and it might tip the balance in our favor.

Just as I opened my mouth to suggest it, Jax slapped a fist to palm.

“I got an idea.”

 

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Some time later, Hess and I were leaning over the fence, back at the graveyard. The shade from the overhead tree and the wind at our backs provided just enough relief from the sun to provide a fairly relaxing scene.

Or it would have.

The view was somewhat spoiled, after all.

“So, Jax used to be a Bandit, huh?” Hess wondered aloud, her eyes on the distant and unmistakably burning village.

“Yeah…” I breathed out, wincing as a Gobborn, noticeably on fire even from here, fled into the waiting scarecrows only to be blasted into so much pulp. “Had the little red sign and everything.”

“Mmm…” Hess nodded, grimacing.

Honestly, there was no real reason to be upset about this. We had been slaughtering them indiscriminately no so long ago. All but had to, in point of fact. Still, there was just something… a little too efficient about doing it this way. It was… Machiavellian.

“You uh…” Hess swallowed, gesturing to the inferno, “You don’t think…”

“Probably,” I admitted. “From some of the things she’s told me, I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Mmm…” she nodded again.

For a few minutes after that, we just stood there, watching as the fire spread to the last few buildings. It was getting pretty intense. Somewhere, probably from the other side of town, a turbo-laser fired.

“Do you think I’m attractive?” Hess asked from out of nowhere.

The sentence hit me like a fat kid cannon-balling off of the high-dive, so unexpected and sudden that I was struck dumb. I was so surprised by the shift in topic that I almost forgot that we had been staring at a town burning to the ground not a moment before.

“What?” I asked finally, blinking stupidly. “You… You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I mean… from a human perspective,” she clarified, her gaze still on the conflagration. “That’s what you said your kind is called, right?”

“Oh… yes. That’s right, I mean.” Briefly, I considered how to answer, before asking, “Are you wanting to know… just me? Or in general?”

“Mmm… both, I guess?” she replied, briefly spreading her hands.

“Well… then yes? From a human perspective, any man would tell you that you that you have great legs and a fantastic butt. Being as in shape as you are will do that,” I began.

“Being in shape isn’t too common amongst your kind?” she asked curiously, picking at one of her tusks.

“Not even remotely,” I admitted. “I’m getting better, but I used to be more than a little chubby before…”

“I think you look pretty nice,” she said, turning to look at me finally. “That Charisma you’ve been investing in is starting to pay dividends.”

Blushing and not knowing what to say, I just swallowed. No woman had ever said something like that to me before. Even Jax had not.

Grinning at my reaction, she asked, “What about the rest of me?” Twirling a hand at herself, she clarified, “You’re not bothered by my skin color? My size?”

I cleared my throat, “Uh… well, to me your skin is pretty exotic, so I rather like it. I couldn’t say how the rest of my kind might react to it, though.” That was a lie. I was quite certain that it would garner… mixed opinions, to say the least. But she did not need to know that. “And your size doesn’t bother me. Or… well, you are a little intimidating, if we’re being honest.”

“So you would prefer it if I were shorter? Like Jax?” she asked, matter-of-factly.

I narrowed my eyes. Normally, this would feel like a trap, but… for some reason, I got the impression that she earnestly wanted to know. Which was weird. “Uh… no. I… I guess I don’t see how my preference would matter?”

“Just answer the question,” she said shortly.

“Well… not as short as Jax. I just don’t think you would be you any more, were that the case. But… you are awfully tall,” I admitted finally. “Not that it matters.”

“Mmm…” she grunted, noncommittally. Then pointing at her face, she asked, “What about my jaw line? Amongst the Keltha, it’s considered to be quite attractive to have a large, healthy jaw and big tusks. Yours is far too small, from my view. And you don’t even have tusks. How does mine look to you?”

I hesitated again. I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with this line of questioning. But… since she was asking, “I could get used to it.” It was… perhaps not the most diplomatic of answers, but… from a human perspective… it was a little… brutish.

“I’m not asking if you could get used to it. I’m asking if you find it attractive,” she said.

I sighed, “Humans don’t have tusks. And we tend to consider a strong jaw to be more of a masculine trait.”

She stared at me for a moment, “Why do you keep dodging the question?”

“Because it’s rude?” I answered, confused that she would would even need to ask.

“Is it?” she replied, taken aback. “Which part? The asking or the answering?”

“I…” I blinked, “Wait, what?”

“Is that a human thing?” she asked, probing. “Not wanting to talk about your looks?”

“Oh…” I sighed in relief. This was a misunderstanding from culture clash. Okay, then. Now, I felt like I was on firmer footing. “Well, the answering mostly. Women… or human women, anyway, don’t tend to take it well when you are less than flattering about their appearance.”

“So, they want you to lie?” she wondered.

“No… they want you to tell the truth,” I replied. “But in a good way.”

There was a long pause after that. “I… don’t think I understand. How is that not lying?”

I inhaled, “Well… okay. No one… or almost no one is uniformly ugly in all ways. So, what you do is you zero in on their best feature, and really talk it up.”

She pursed her lips for a moment, thinking that over. Finally, she snapped her fingers in realization, “I see. You think my butt and my legs are my best feature! That’s why you brought them up first!”

Smiling a little, I nodded, “Guilty as charged. But they aren’t your only good feature. You have striking eyes and a lovely brow line. And I rather like the hard edge your nose has.”

Grinning now, she asked, “What about my tits?”

I let my head fall back and addressed the sky, “Maeve have mercy.” And deliver me from this conversation. Taking another deep breath, I asked, “What do you think about them, Hess?”

“Amongst the Keltha, our women tend to have very large breasts. It’s part of why I took up this line of work, actually,” she explained. “Most of my kind consider mine to be much too small. Unattractive. Not good for mating.”

“Really?” I said, surprised. “How big are we talking?”

Without any reservations, she held her hands away from her chest at the elbow, “About like that, usually.”

“Chebs…” I muttered.

“Yes?” she agreed, a little confused.

“No, that’s way too big for my taste,” I said finally.

That made her smile a little, “Jax said you liked it that she had filled out some, so I wondered.”

My left eyebrow rose unbidden at that. This must have been when they were off scouting the drainage area. If they were talking behind my back, then there was a strong possibility that some of this might make it back to Jax. And that might not be good for my health. “Is that what brought this on?” I asked.

Nodding, she let her eyes rove over me slowly. Finally, her lip quirking to the side, she said, “You’re very hairy. Are human women like you? Do you prefer that?”

I choked. Coughing roughly for a few moments, I shook my head, “They… tend to be less hairy than the men. And they usually remove most of it in grooming.” This conversation was not doing good things to my constitution.

“Which parts?” she asked mercilessly. “I noticed that you have an awful lot of it right around your…”

“Okay, Hess!”

She jumped, “Oh… is that… are you sensitive about that? You said only your women didn’t like it, so I thought…”

“No, it’s fine,” I sighed. “It’s just… really personal. That’s all. But, no. I’m not sensitive about being hairy. And before you ask, I like the way you and Jax look in that regard just fine.”

“Good. That’s good,” she said smiling. And then taking on a sly expression, she added, “As for me, I think your hair looks… exotic. So I rather like it.”

Right about then, the third member of our trio emerged from the tunnel, smoke curling from her hair. Turning to take in her handy work, she jumped into the air, wildly pumping her fist, “Woo! Would ye look at that barry banger! Fried ‘em up good, did I!”

Running over to where we were standing, she immediately took in our atmosphere, particularly the fact that I was hunched over and desperately trying not to asphyxiate from my own spittle. “What have the two of ye been about?” she asked suspiciously.

“Nothing much,” Hess replied innocently. “I was just telling him how interesting his hair made him look.”

My coughing fit redoubled.

“I did tell him that before, me ownself,” Jax agreed, frowning down at me. Of course, she had been talking about my beard at the time. Then giving me a dismissive wave, she said, “Pay him no mind. Ye just made him feel bashful.”

“Is that what it is?” Hess asked, seemingly flabbergasted. “I was getting concerned.”

Jax tilted her head to the side, regarding Hess silently. She just smiled back, smugly angelic.

Coming to stand next to me, she began to run her hand through the hair on my head, comfortingly. Finally, she said, “I don’t know what this be. I can tell ye did nay lie. But ye did nay tell the truth, neither.” Pausing to look at me again, as I was still on my knees with water streaming out of my eyes, she added, “But Donum wants me to leave it be. So I’ll do.”

Hess regarded Jax consideringly at that, “Very insightful. Can you really tell lies from truth?”

Jax nodded, “Big lies be easiest. Some be harder to pick apart, though. Like this.”

“That sounds very useful,” Hess mused. And then, the corner of her mouth quirking upward she added, “I can hardly wait.”

Finally clearing my throat enough to speak once more, I climbed back to my feet, “Uh… how did it go?” A nice change of subject was warranted here. Pronto. “Did any of them escape into the tunnels?”

Jax shook her head, “Not that I seen.”

From there, Jax began to regale us with the details. Given the state of rot and disrepair the town had been in, it had not taken much to get the fire going. All she had to do was to sling a single torch up to one of the nearby roofs. The rest had pretty much taken care of itself.

“Tell it true, it were ripe for it. A village like that out in the real world would o’ caught long ago,” she finished.

Nodding, I once again regarded the burning town. It was an absolute inferno at this point, and the blasts from the turbo-lasers had long since stopped. I had to assume that we had met our objective, but there was no going back there for some time. “How long does it usually take for a fire like that to finish?” I asked curiously.

“An hour. Maybe two for the village entire,” Jax replied matter-of-factly. “And it’ll smolder a while.”

Hess and I shared a glance, but we did not comment.

For some time after that, we just stood there, watching the distant flames. There was a certain beauty to it, after all. It spoke to me in a primal sort of way. The roiling of it. The reds and blacks swirling about each other. The angry red sparks floating up into the air and occasionally falling out into the grass…

I stood up straighter. The grass…

“Uh… guys? What about uh…?” I asked, nervously indicating the area in front of us. The entire town was surrounded by a low stone wall, but beyond that was several hundred yards of grown over fields in all directions. “It’s not exactly new growth. A single errant spark… And then the trees beyond that?”

Just as I finished speaking, a shadow passed over us and the wind turned cool. As one, the three of us looked upward. Clouds were rolling in from all sides and rapidly darkening.

“I think the Dungeon may be a step ahead of you, Donum,” Hess mused aloud.

At her words, the first fat drop of rain spattered across my nose. It was ice cold. Shivering a bit, I smiled nonetheless, “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about the Dungeon burning down.”

The three of us smiled in relief for a few moments. Unfortunately, our mood was soon broken by a rotting hand bursting from the ground and grabbing my ankle.

As I yelped in surprise, Hess swore, “Ah, ‘Snails… With the cloud cover…”

She did not have to explain. The Zombies feared the sun. And due to our little enterprise, the Dungeon had decided to take it away from us.

Her eyes swiveled about, quickly formulating a plan. Just as Jax severed the hand pinning me to the ground, she pointed, “The tunnel! We’ll have to seal ourselves in!”

Seeing nothing else for it, we ran.

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