The Shy One

Chapter 9: After Church


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Simmons and Grif run up the ramp onto the Red Base where Donut is waiting with the flag.

Donut: What happened?

Grif: (panting heavily) Big... Tank... Shooting... Whooooh!

Simmons: Damn, man, we only ran like three hundred feet. You are really out of shape.

Grif: (still panting) Fuck... You...

Donut: Where's your car?

Simmons: General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.

Grif: Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up.

Donut: You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?

The Warthog suddenly flips up on the base from below by an explosion, landing between Donut and the other two. The camera cuts to a different angle to reveal Sheila in the background.

Grif: What the hell..!?

Sheila fires.

Grif: SON OF A BITCH!

Donut: Oh crap! (picks up the flag) What the hell is that thing?

Grif: (crouching next to the Warthog) That's the tank!

Donut: Hey uh, Grif, uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?

Sheila fires.

Grif: No, keep that away from me!

Cut to Caboose in Sheila with Tucker  and Bell beside them. Sheila fires.

"Why do you keep firing at the jeep?" Tucker asks

"Why do you keep firing at the jeep?" Tucker asks.

"Because it's locked on." Caboose informs.

Then Sheila speaks. "Target locked."

"Well, unlock it." Tucker says.

"Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH!" Caboose yells.

"Oh, right. Keep shooting the jeep, then."

"Yeah, I don't want anymore of my friends to die today." Bell says. "I'm already really sad."

Cut to Donut.

Donut: I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed.

Sheila fires.

Simmons: Yeah. I have to agree with the rookie on this one.

Radio sounds.

Sarge: (on radio, from a Pelican dropship) Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant-

Grif: Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?

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Sarge: Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command.

Simmons: Sir, (Sheila fires in the background) this is Simmons.

Sarge: Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone.

Grif: Actually, sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived, and somehow he managed to (Sheila fires in the background) infiltrate the Blue Base, and now we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of their (Sheila fires in the background) guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.

Sarge: (radio sounds) ... (more radio sounds) ...Am I talkin' to the right base?

Grif: Sarge, (Sheila fires in the background) WE. ARE GOING. TO DIE HERE!

Sarge: Well then hold tight, boys. I think I gotta solution to your little "tank" problem.

Cut to Tucker and Bell.

Tucker: Uh oh.

"Not good."

Pelican flies over Red Base. Cut back to Tucker and Bell and they start to back away.

"H-Hey, Caboose?" Tucker calls out. "You might want to get out of the tank. Like, right now."

"Why does war have to be so scary!" Bell shouts.

"I can't figure out how to get this thing open!" Caboose yells.

"Night vision engaged." Caboose says.

"Rookie, get out now!" Tucker yells.

Shells exploding progressively nearer to the tank.

"Okay, open the dor-" Caboose starts. "Okay, alright, Sheila, would you please open the door?"

"Driver canopy open." Sheila says and Caboose hops out and runs away. "Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle-" A shell hits Sheila and the explosion turns her upside down."

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! Running, running, running!" Caboose yells and he reaches Bell and Tucker. "Man, that was close."

"Look at your tank, though." Tucker says.

"I told you guys tanks were dangerous!" Bell says.

Cut to Sheila.

Sheila: I'm scared, Dave. Will I dream? Daisy... (distorted, elongated) Daisy...

Cut to Caboose and Tucker.

Caboose: Sheeeeiilaaaaa! Noooooo!

Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! W-Wait... Who's Sheila?

Caboose: Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend...

Tucker: Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!

"Really!" Bell yells at Tucker. "Sorry for yelling."

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01-22-2023

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