Chapter 10: A Shadow of His Former Self

Tucker is radioing Blue Command, with Caboose and Bell behind him.

"Come in Blue Command." Tucker says into his radio. "This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?"

"Okay, that is the last of it." Caboose finished cleaning the black stuff off of Tucker's armor. "Your armor is clean now."

Tucker turns and looks to Caboose. "Did you get all the black stuff off?"

"I believe so." Bell says.

Command comes over the radio. "This is Blue Command, come in Gulch Outpost Alpha."

"Hello, Command!" Tucker greets. "We need help!"

"Roger that, Blood Gulch. What is your request?"

"I don't know what the technical military term is for it... But, uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!"

Bell stares at Tucker. "Please don't say it like that."

"...Dude, how long have you guys been down there?" Command asks.

"No, no, no no. It's not like that!" Tucker quickly corrects. "We need more men to help us."

"Roger that. Did you get the tank we sent?"

"Yeah... that got blown up too."

"Wow... sucks to be you." Command says.

"Yeah, we know." Tucker says.

"Okay, here's what I can do. The nearest blue forces can be there in sixteen days. Or, I--"

"Sixteen days?! That's almost two weeks!"

"Tucker, it is over two weeks." Bell says.

"Bell, shut up." Tucker says.

"Sorry."

Command continues. "OR, I can hire a nearby Freelancer, and get them there in a few hours."

"I like the 'in an hour' one." Caboose says.

"Yeah, me too." Tucker says. 

"Hey, my sister was a Freelancer." Bell says in excitement.. "But, I haven't heard from her in a while, I hope she's okay."

"Roger that Command." Tucker says. "We prefer the quicker solution."

"10-4, Blood Gulch." Command responds. "We'll contact Freelancer Tex and have them there post-haste. Command out."

"Whoever he is, make sure he can fix the tank."

"What's a freelancer?' Caboose asks.

"Freelancers are independent. They're not Red or Blue." Tucker explains. "They're just guns for hire who'll fight for whoever has the most money."

"Like a mercenary."

"Right. or like your mom, when the rent is due."

"Tucker, that's really mean." Bell says.

"Oh, at least he probably has a mom." Tucker says. Bell aims her pistol at Tucker. "Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry."

Bell just grumbles and lowers her pistol. "Can't believe I told you that."

A semi-transparent Church fades into view between Tucker, Bell and Caboose.

"Tuckerrr.... Tuuuuuuckerrr." Church says in a ghostly voice.

"AHHHH! A ghost!" Bell screams in terror.

"Who the hell are you?" Tucker asks ghost Church.

"I am the ghost of Church!" Church claims. "And I've come back with a warning!"

"You're not Church." Caboose states. "Church is blue! You're white!"

"Rookie, shut up, man!" Church says in a non-ghostly way. " I'm a freakin' ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?"

"Yeah, that's definitely him." Tucker says.

"Yeah, I'd know that mean voice anywhere." Bell says.

"Now I gotta start over again." Church complains, then he clears his throat and starts speaking in a ghostly voice. "Tucker! TUCKER! I've come back with a warning!"

"Is it really necessary to do the voice?" Tucker asks.

"Yeah, it's kind of annoying." Caboose says.

"And really unnecessary." Bell finishes.

"Fine!" Church speaks normally now. "Okay, here's the deal. I've come back from the dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let--"

Caboose interrupts. "What's the warning?"

"Shut up for one second and I'll tell you!"

"Oh, sorry."

"Seriously man, I'm coming back from the great beyond here. Do you think this is easy?" Church asks. " It's not. It's not like, just, you know, pop in and out whenever I feel like it, it takes a lot of concentration."

"Sorry."

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Church: I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with but now I come back and I can't get a word in edgewise, man. (takes a deep breath) Okay, here's the deal-

Caboose: (interrupting) Is this the warning?

Church: Alright, that's it. I swear to god, Caboose, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you.

Tucker: Yeah, you're even starting to bug me.

"Can we please, just let him talk?" Bell asks.

Church: Okay, Tucker. Bell.  You remember that I told you that I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right?

Tucker: No.

"Yes." Bell says.

Caboose: Sidewinder? Isn't that the ice planet?

Church: Yes.

Caboose: Cool! What was that like?

Church: Um.. it was cold.

Caboose: That's it? Just cold?

Church: What do you want from me? A poem? It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's really.. fuckin'.. cold.

Tucker: Will you just let him talk?

Church: Alright, well...

Fade to Sidewinder.

Church: One day, when I was there, everything was just like normal. I remember.. I was out on patrol with my partner, Jimmy. That Jimmy was a real good kid. Everybody liked him.

Tucker: D'ya think I was a good kid, Church?

Church: Tucker, don't get jealous, man. Just listen to the story, okay? Like I said, the guys were hanging around, waiting for some action, bitching about the cold...

Sidewinder Blue #1: Man, it's fucking cold.

Sidewinder Blue #2: I hope we get some action.

Church: Anyway, Jimmy was in the middle of telling me all about this girlfriend he had back home.

Jimmy: (in a highland southern accent) Yep, as soon as I get back, I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask her to marry me.

Church: And that's when Tex showed up.

A soldier in active camouflage [invisibility] moves in front of Jimmy and Church.

Church: Private Mickey was the first to go. He was halfway across the base when all of sudden he started screaming bloody murder...

Private Mickey: (spinning around and shooting) Bloody murder! Bloody murder!

A Blue firing an Assault Rifle is hit from behind by a camouflaged Tex.

Church: The whole thing was over before it even started.

Tex kills another Blue. Switch to Jimmy and Church firing their guns.

Church: Poor Jimmy was the last one to go. Tex walked up to him, pulled Jimmy's skull right out of his head, and beat him to death with it.

Cut to Tucker at Blood Gulch.

Tucker: Wait a second.. how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn't seem physically possible.

Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.

"I'm scared now." Bell says.

Cut to Tex hitting Jimmy with his skull.

Jimmy: This doesn't seem physically possible! (he collapses) Hurk! Bleh...

Cut to Blood Gulch.

Church: Bottom line is, these Freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst.

Caboose: If he's such a bad-ass, why didn't he kill you?

Cut to Church standing alone in Sidewinder with blood all over the ground. The camera zooms out, revealing all the Sidewinder Blues are dead.

Church: To tell ya, I don't know why I'm not dead. Coulda killed me at any point. ...But maybe it's because Tex and I have run into each other once before.

Tucker: Where?

Church: You, uh.. you remember that girl I told you about, back home? Well, let's just say that Tex is the real reason why we never got married. Guys, I'm fading fast, and I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning. Don't let Tex get involved here.

Tucker: Okay.

Church: I mean it, Tucker. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it...

Church fades away.

Tucker: So..! Tex and Church were after the same girl.

Caboose: I told you his girlfriend was a slut.

"Caboose, that's mean." Bell says.

The camera pans, revealing Tex standing behind Tucker, Bell, and Caboose.

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01-23-2023

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