Said one wooden and completely unconvincing voice on my left, its owner continuing to hold onto me as if her life depended on it even while she was bidding a teary farewell to her father. On an unrelated note, I couldn't feel my left arm anymore. Was it a good or a bad thing that I was getting used to that?
"Thank you! My, dear daughter! Daddy is going, to, be back! In a few weeks!"
Replied a much louder, yet at the same time even less convincing voice from the front. What would you even call that? 'Woodener'? 'Woodier'? 'Foresty'? Let's go with the last one, it sounded about right.
"Oh, father. I will miss you. So much."
"Don't, cry my! Daughter! I, will only be, gone! For… multiple weeks! Yes! Multiple… weeks!"
While all of this silliness was happening with all the sublime grace of a train-crash on a boat, my eyes slowly swept over the whole Dracis household crowding the driveway in front of the gates of the estate. In retrospect, I think it was probably a form of involuntary coping mechanism. Anyhow, the small crowd in front of me included Emese, Sebastian, Melinda, the nameless twins, all the placeholder maids, and even the cooks and the gardeners. All of them were standing in attention too, and the whole display reminded me of a military parade, except with ladles, feather dusters, and rakes instead of guns.
As I continued to scrutinize the staff, my gaze unexpectedly met with those of the incognito dragon standing by my self-diagnosed father-in-law's side, and the way he immediately rolled his eyes perfectly encapsulated my own sentiment. I gave him a nod of appreciation, and then we both shrugged at once as the father-daughter duo continued their public display of misdirection.
At long last, the excruciatingly arboreal string of goodbyes came to an end, and Abram and Sebastian both got inside the large black limousine waiting nearby, though not before papa Dracis sent me a meaningful wink. What it actually meant though, I didn't have the foggiest idea, and they rode away into the sunrise before I could ask.
Then, as if she was waiting for the opportunity, Emese rolled over to us with the help of the braided (and for some reason really grumpy-looking) chambermaid, completely disregarding the way the mansion's staff left the scene in goose-steps. For a moment I wondered whether that was because they were placeholders, or it was something I should be worried about, but such thoughts were quickly shaken out of my head by the mother of the household directly addressing me.
"Thank you for seeing off my husband, Leonard. Did you three have fun last night?" she asked with the combination of a provocative smirk and a knowing look. It wasn't hard to figure out what she was hinting at, considering Elly was even clingier than usual, while my dear assistant also followed her example for some inexplicable and quite troubling reason.
"You could… certainly say that."
My evasive answer only made her smile widen even further and she followed it up with a cocky "Is that so? I'm happy to hear that! When can I expect my grandchildren?"
"Well, let's see…" I muttered as I began to count on my fingers. "High school is two more years. College is at least three, five if either of us wants to get a master's degree, plus we should also try and get jobs first, so… about eight or so years?"
My detailed answer obviously caught her off-guard, yet by the twinkle in her eyes I could see she already had a snappy comeback on the tip of her tongue, which would've no doubt led to some hilarious skit about baby names and college saving funds, if not for my other girlfriend joining the fray.
"Chief, we should hurry up," Judy remarked and she showed me the clock on her phone. "We're going to be late for school. You can play with mother-in-law later."
"We are not that late…"
My attempted protest fell on deaf ears, as my dear assistant commenced to act like she was dragging me away. Or… was she actually trying to drag me away, but failing? It wouldn't have been the first time she did something like this, so it was hard to tell.
Anyhow, since she was about as adamant about her efforts as a Pomeranian puppy trying to take his human for a walk, I decided to humor her and awkwardly waved at the women still in the driveway.
"Bye, mom-in-law."
"Oh well," Emese huffed with a playful bend in her lips, and then she added, "Stay safe, kids. I'll see you at dinner!"
I didn't remember making any dinner plans, but considering the circumstances, I didn't have either the time or the energy to object, especially since Elly decided to join the 'fun' and began to pull on me as well, and unlike with my assistant, her efforts were significantly harder to resist. As such, I soon found myself walking away from the Dracis mansion, yet I could feel the eyes of the still crotchety maid and the widely grinning matron of the estate right until we rounded a corner and were finally out of sight.
The moment that happened, I let out a pent-up breath and glanced at my girlfriends in turn. The princess seemed to be in an unusually good mood, while Judy was her usual self, except maybe just a smidge clingier than usual. I wondered if they didn't give up yet, and this was their step four or five in their intricate plans to awaken my libido. I hoped not. They gave me enough trouble yesterday with their cosplay already.
… Actually, now that I think about it, they looked pretty cute in those maid outfits. Borderline adorable. Furthermore, those costumes looked like they were fitted specifically for them to emphasize their charms and whatnot. That's not something they could make in an afternoon, so I couldn't help but wonder if the maid cosplay was a premeditated plan instead of something they came up with in a single day. Either way, it certainly brought my girlfriends' sense of priorities into question, but then again, I had my own bugbears to contend with, so I wasn't going to cast the first stone.
In any case, while I was pondering about these important matters, all of a sudden someone called out to me.
"Is this what they call 'having a flower in each arm'?"
I turned towards the source of the cheeky comment, and it wasn't exactly surprising that I found Josh there.
"Just where did you even hear that old-school term?" I shot back with a raised brow, and my friend shrugged his shoulders between his greetings to the girls.
"I think it was in one of those god-awful young adult novels Angie made me read a few years ago. Can't recall the title."
"It's probably better that way," I commented, and we shared a sentimental nod between each other. "Speaking of her, where's the childhood friend in question?"
"She should be here soon," Josh said as he fell in line beside us. "She said she forgot her gym clothes and had to go back."
"Should we slow down to let her catch up?" Elly proposed, but Josh ultimately shook his head.
"Nah, she's quick on her feet; she should catch up with us soon. Not to mention, you guys aren't exactly running either." He paused for a long moment as he looked us over, then he added, "Speaking of which, isn't it uncomfortable to walk like that?"
I figured he was referring to the way my girlfriends arrested my arms, so I replied with, "It's not so bad."
"It also keeps us warm," Judy added somewhat absent-mindedly, immediately catching my attention in the process.
"Wait, is that why you are being so close?"
"Among other things," she told me while conspicuously averting her gaze. In fact, I was pretty sure she was doing so on purpose to tease me, so I did the only reasonable thing and ignored her in favor of my other girlfriend.
"Are you also holding onto me for that?"
"I just saw Judy do it, and it looked nice," my Draconic girlfriend answered with a dopey smile, after which she honest to goodness rubbed her cheeks on my shoulder and added, "She's right though. You're really warm."
"I’m glad to hear that?"
I would be lying if I said I wasn't taken a little aback by that, but then I was taken even abacker when Judy followed her lead and did the same, so I decided not to dwell on it and focus on the conversation with our resident protagonist.
"So, I gather you two have buried the hatchet."
"Yeah. Angie even apologized for overacting." Josh fell silent for a moment, his brows slowly scrunching up, and then he added, "It was weird."
"But it worked out, and that's what's important," I noted, followed by the closest approximation of a sagely nod I could manage under the continued assault of my girlfriends.
"I suppose." After saying that, Josh's gaze wandered off as if he was lost in thought, but at last he turned back to me and explained, "After she apologized, we played a few rounds of Street Kombat."
"Sounds wholesome," I said half-heartedly, just to keep the conversation rolling.
"Whatever you say," Joshua dismissed my stray comment with a sneaky roll of his eyes, but then he unexpectedly added, "And when it was time for her to go home, she gave me a kiss on my cheek. She said it was an apology kiss. Is that normal? I mean, between friends?"
Wow, look at that. Angie went on the offensive. That was fairly surprising… or maybe not? I mean, she did seem unusually interested in my relationship with the girls and how to make it work; maybe she was actually laying the groundwork? Or maybe it really was just a chaste, friendly peck on the cheek. Who knew?
However, before I could give my tactful and unbiased advice, I was beaten to the punch by Elly of all people saying, "I don't think Leo is a good judge of these things."
Wait, what? This time I was taken the abackest. I never expected Elly to say that, but I couldn't object in time, as my other girlfriend immediately echoed her sentiment.
"True. The Chief is really bad at picking up on these things."
"Hey! I wholeheartedly disagree with that assessment!" I exclaimed as I finally managed to get a word in, and to my most abacktakeningest surprise not only Judy, but the princess also gave me a flat look. Luckily the angle from which they were doing so made them look somewhat cute, so it didn't hurt my feelings as hard as it could've, but it was still an unexpected sucker-punch.
"Sorry Chief, but considering how much trouble you caused us by failing to get a clue, I don't think there's any jury in the world that would find you innocent."
"Innocent of what? Also, I once again vehemently disagree. I wasn't unaware, I just decided not to do this whole romance thing yet because of reasons. There's a huge difference there."
"Doesn't that just make it worse?" Elly's innocent-sounding question made us glance at her in unison, so she hastily clarified her point. "I mean, wouldn't willfully ignoring someone when they try to show they like you be worse than just being oblivious?"
"You're right," Judy followed her up with a mighty nod. "What do you say to that, Chief?"
"I have nothing to explain, as I've already told you my reasons when we started dating. Not to mention, things worked out in the end, so all's well that ends well." The two girls clinging to me were still giving me unsatisfied looks, so I decided it was time for a tactical change in topic. "Anyhow, Josh asked a question. Shouldn't we help him out first before we start reminiscing about how our relationship started?"
"I thought we were already doing that," Judy commented while taking a sneaky glance at my friend, who was only looking at us in a mixture of incomprehension and industrial-strength caginess, as if he was afraid our boiling cauldron of a discussion would spill over him too.
For a short while all three of us were looking at him without a word, and the atmosphere was actually getting a little chilly. Or was it the weather? It was hard to tell sometimes.
"… I don't get it," Josh finally blurted out, which prompted both my girlfriends to let out a sigh in unison.
"Maybe Leo is right." The princess's low-key whisper made me raise a brow in surprise, and so she added, "Maybe the boy being oblivious is more of a hassle in the long run after all."
"Maybe," Judy echoed the word the third time in a row, yet even though it was supposed to be a form of tacit agreement, she still sounded about as skeptical as an atheist at the midnight mass.
In the meantime, I noticed a ponytail rapidly approaching us from behind, and unsurprisingly enough, it was attached to a heaving Celestial girl. She came to a screeching halt by our side, caught her breath, and then she sent a sharp glance our way.
"You guys are mean! Why didn't you wait for me!?"
"You said you'd catch up soon," Joshua answered his childhood friend's question while he simultaneously stepped up to her and rubbed her back. "Here, here. Any better now?"
"I'm not that out of breath," Angie grumbled, but curiously enough she didn't move away or try to stop him. Must've been another one of those 'childhood friend things'.
"I see you two really made up," I noted. "Good."
"I already told you we did," Joshua objected for some bizarre reason.
"Yes, but hearing about it is one thing, and seeing it with my own two eyes is another."
"Yep, we're peas in a pod again. Thanks for the assist." Angie flashed me a toothy grin for a moment, but then she looked us over and took a step back. "Speaking of peas in a pod, is it just me, or do you guys look even cuter than usual? Oh, oh! Can I take a picture?"
"I'd prefer if you didn't." My flat response earned me a stuck-out tongue from the upbeat girl, but I ignored her and instead gestured for the childhood friend duo to get moving, because at this rate we would really end up late, even though I could already see the school gates from where we were standing.
Once we started moving again, and there was a distinct lull in the conversation, I decided it was as good a time as any to breach the topic of today's big event.
"So, are you guys prepared for the afternoon kerfuffle?"
Both Josh and Angie shared an apprehensive look between the two of them, but then they both nodded in such perfect unison I couldn't help but wonder if they practiced for occasions like this.
"I think we should be fine." Josh's words probably didn't sound too convincing even to his own ears, so he hastily added, "I mean, we reviewed the plan a couple of times, but as Leo would say, those rarely survive contact with the enemy."
"Oh, I've heard that one too," Angie followed him up right away. "Is it a quote from Rommel? Or Sun Tzu?"
"It's from Helmuth von Moltke the Elder," my dear assistant corrected her, and it took all my willpower not to ask just where the hell she learned that.
"That guy's name doesn't exactly roll off the tongue like the others."
We naturally ignored the Celestial girl's musings, and instead I told them, "The important thing is to be able to adapt to the situation. Your basic plan should be solid, and if there's any trouble, you should be able to improvise with the pieces on the board."
"We'll try, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't feel more confident if you were also there," Josh admitted a little sheepishly, which made his childhood friend giggle for some reason.
"Sorry, but I'll have to head over to the park to set the stage for the Chimera hunt so that Mountain Girl would finally be out of my hair." He still looked more than a little conflicted, so I also told him, "Don't worry. As they say, plans are useless, but planning is indispensable, and you have done a lot of it. It will be fine."
"Dwight D. Eisenhower."
"Pardon?" I asked back in reflex as I glanced at the source of the unexpected comment.
"The thing you said about planning is a quote from him," Judy clarified.
I sent a deadpan look at her way, and once I felt it reached its destination, I also added, "Dormouse, please stop being so smart for just five minutes. You're distracting me."
"Is it because you like smart girls?" she immediately asked back with a cheeky little pseudo-smirk.
"So what if I do? Since when's that a crime?"
"Hey, that would make sense! I'm pretty smart too!" the princess suddenly injected herself into our skit with her usual tact of a drunken bull in a china shop. "I was always at the top of my grade in my old schools. Aced all my exams too."
"Now that you mention it, midterm exams are coming up, aren't they?" I mused aloud, yet my absent-mindedly spoken words made the childhood friend duo shudder like leaves in a monsoon.
"Aw crap, you are right!" Angie's exclamation coincided with us reaching the school gates, and it earned her a stern look from the disciplinary committee member minding the perimeter.
"We totally forgot to study with everything else going on, didn't we?" Josh commented, and it felt like the words were draining his soul away.
"Mum is going to flay me if my average falls under three-point-five!" the at the moment not at all energetic Celestial raised her mournful voice, and her childhood-friend-slash-comrade repeatedly nodded in understanding.
"We're screwed, aren't we?" Josh lamented, his eyes unfocused and looking into an infinite distance only he could see.
Frankly, I felt that they were making a mountain out of a molehill, as I considered supernatural battles of life and death more important than quarterly grades. At the end of the day though I just couldn't watch them beating themselves up over their grades, so I proposed, "Do you want to form a study group after things calm down a little?"
"Weren't your grades also pretty bad?" Josh responded with a critically raised brow, but before I could get a word in, Angie cut me off.
"Wait, that's actually not a bad idea! Even if Leo is book-dumb, he has Judy and Elly! If we ask Ammy to join too, we're going to be set!"
"Oh, I like the sound of that!" my friend agreed with a worrying amount of enthusiasm.
And with that, somehow the discussion about dealing with Labcoat Guy got derailed into forming an impromptu study group for the mid-terms exams that were still about a month away. I knew I should be happy Josh wasn't too tense about the operation after school, but at least he could stay on topic. Priorities and whatnot.
But I digress. We were already in school, so I supposed we should only discuss the battle-plans once we were in a more secluded location, such as on the roof. As such, I decided to drop the whole thing altogether. Except…
"'Book dumb', huh?" I spoke softly under my breath, then with a not at all sinister smile I added, "Well, that also goes into my book of grudges…"
"Did you say something?" Elly inquired out of the blue, so I faced her and flashed my latest and greatest version of my roguish smirk at her.
"Don't worry, I'm just being nefarious."
"Oh, it's okay then," she concluded with a dazed smile on her own, and with that, we headed towards the shoe lockers and began what promised to be quite an eventful day.