The Simulacrum

Chapter 158: ~Chapter 56~ Part 1


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My arrival at the park was as quiet and unceremonious as usual. Once I found my balance after the long-distance Phasing, I glanced around and quickly found my anchor silently trying to hide his considerable bulk behind two trees. I didn't know why he bothered, considering he was covered in the familiar thin film of magical camouflage, but I figured it might've been a habit. Anyhow, after making sure there was nobody else in the vicinity, I stepped up to him, and lightly tapped the cloaked Brang on the shoulder.

The large Faun didn't show any sign of surprise at my sudden appearance; he only turned his head towards me and gave me a smile that was visible even through the distortions created by Snowy's sigil.

"[Maintain your cloak of transparent shadows, general,]" I warned him in a whisper (or at least the closest thing to a whisper the Faun language could manage) before looking over our vicinity one more time. "[Have your preparations ensued with ease?]"

"[Aye. The young ones have hidden themselves among the trees of this green patch of land, as we have discussed. If the Chimera or thine ireful companion were to arrive, they will keep their distance and observe unless an emergency were to arise.]"

"[Hearing that fills my chest cavity with feelings of reassurance.]" I paused for a moment, then after a few tries I managed to reword that into a slightly less verbose, "[What I meant to convey was that I was glad to hear so.]"

Brang gave me an odd look that was perfectly evident even through his cloaking, but didn't ask. I, on the other hand, let out a relieved breath. My recent efforts to make my Faunish slightly less convoluted were finally bearing fruit. I'll have to thank Karukk and Pip for their help later.

"[Were thine arrangements also in order, Lord Blackloak?]" It took a single sharp glance from me for Brang to realize that he accidentally uttered the two forbidden words in my presence, so he hastily cleared his throat in an attempt to let it slide and pressed on. "[What I meant to say was, you have arrived later than planned. Did thy plans proceed as they were envisioned?]"

"[To a greater or lesser amount.]"

To be honest, things didn't go as smoothly as they could, but I certainly wasn't lying to Brang. The last-minute planning session with the group started out well, but then Angie had an 'emergency tennis practice' session she had to attend to, and then Ammy awkwardly told me that she actually had plans for the afternoon, though she was very vague on the details.

For the former, I could get her off the hook by talking to the leader of the club (a short-haired, sporty upperclassman placeholder, for your interest), and after leveraging my previous help with the pitching machine, I got her to compromise.

As for the latter, it felt like pulling teeth, but at last I managed to have the class rep confess (in private, of course) that she was meeting up with Mike for an outing. That got resolved by a single phone call, though for some reason she was giving me the evil eye for the rest of the day for meddling in her affairs. To be fair though, considering how crucial she was in Josh's plan, it was I who should've chewed her out for going on a definitely-not-date smack dab in the middle of a pre-planned operation.

Also, a quick mental note: pay more attention to this odd, budding relationship. No, not because it was interesting and juicy gossip, but because it was a completely unexpected development.

To put it bluntly, Ammy was established to be part of Josh's entourage from day one (or three, I can't remember), so the fact that she was suddenly showing even a modicum of interest in another guy, even if he was as smitten and enthusiastic as Mike, felt like a culture shock.

Was Josh's harem protagonist aura fading? Or was it just the class rep realizing that she was losing the race against Snowy and Angie and cautiously testing the waters with others? Or better (or worse) yet, could it be that Mike was 'scripted' to be a love rival for Josh when it came to her attention? I mean, these kinds of love triangles are the bread and butter of any romance story, and harem narratives are no exception.

Let's look at this objectively: Mike was a side-character from the start, and a fairly well-established one at that. Those don't grow on trees. That told me that he was supposed to be important from the get-go, and what could be more important for a male side-character than being the protagonist's love rival?

I could already picture the scenario in my mind; if Josh were to pick Ammy to be his love interest, Mike would show up to try and seduce her, making Josh jealous and finally taking the initiative. But then, it would turn out it was just a Celestial ploy to infiltrate the School all along! Oh no, what a twist! Because of that, Josh and the class rep would go through a lot of trials and tribulations, and then it would lead to their relationship rising to the next level, and they would live happily ever after.

This was of course all hypothetical, based on the possible route system on which our world could operate, but if I was a betting man, I'd put good money on it being close to the mark. As such, it was very important for our research to keep a close eye on these two. For research, I stress. Not for gossip. Are we clear on that? Good. Now, where was I before this tangent?

Oh, right; preparing for the counter-ambush. So, after all that malarkey with the class rep was resolved, I had to sneakily take Judy home, lest she would end up in the middle of the crossfire. Needless to say, that resulted in yet another familiar lecture about safety and contingency plans and how she will flay my ass if I would show in the living room covered in blood again, yada-yada. I, as a good and very safety-minded boyfriend, naturally had to listen to her until the end, and only then did I manage to Phase here. All I'm trying to say is that it was a small miracle I arrived as early as I did.

Anyhow, I looked over the area we picked for the ambush, and once I was sure there wasn't a single soul around besides us, I extended my hand towards Brang. Without a word, he reached over his shoulder and, after unbuckling the leather holder, handed me the spear on his back. It wasn't his own, but a replica weapon I ordered online the same time I purchased our training equipment. It was a simple, undecorated weapon, with a leaf-shaped head that was on the longer side and a smooth, roughly two meters long ash wood shaft. It wasn't a fancy weapon, but a well-balanced one, and considering I was planning to leave the lion's share of the fighting to Rinne, it was more than enough for the occasion.

"[I shall lie in wait. Proceed with your duties, general.]"

The mostly invisible Faun slowly nodded in response to my words, followed by a salute. I returned the first gesture, but refrained from the second. He didn't mind, instead he dashed away with surprising speed, at least considering his bulk and his bum leg.

And just like that, I was left alone in the rapidly darkening woods, waiting for a terrifying being of untold bloodlust and wanton cruelty to show itself. Oh, and also a Chimera, I supposed. I exhaled sharply through my nose and glanced up at the cloudy sky above. The weather was perfectly nice until school was out, and then a wave of dark clouds rolled over us like an angry herd of grey sheep. I half wondered if it was just for a dramatic effect. I mean, climactic battles rarely happen in cheerful sunny weather, now do they? Well, I for one could've done without the trope, as it also made the air cool down even further, and the overcast skies were just a tad too foreboding for my liking. If not for the fact that I was already used to the ambiance, I probably would've been pretty tense by now.

Overall, I was more bored than anything else at the moment, so after a brief consideration I picked a comfortable looking spot near the base of the same trees the ex-general was hiding behind, and I took a seat on one of the twisting, arched roots sticking out of the ground nearby. I glanced around one last time, but I couldn't see any of the pre-arranged signals the Faun were supposed to send up in case the Chimera showed up early.

Next, I Far Glanced in the direction of Mountain Girl, but she was still home, meticulously oiling her infuriating sword using a long stick with a ball of cotton at the end of it. It was a little weird, but not enough to pay any more attention to it.

Now that I finished with the obligatory round, I could finally focus on the main dish of the day. With that giddy thought in mind, I switched my perspective over to Josh, and not a moment too soon. He was already well on his way towards the ambush point, and in Armband Guy's company, no less.

The small procession in front of me consisted of the aforementioned pair in the front, with Snowy and the princess following a few paces behind them, and the Class Rep/Angie duo so far back it was impossible to tell if they are even part of the same group. So far, so good.

"Are you certain?" came the vague question from Armband Guy right around the time I shifted my viewpoint over to him.

"The tip came from Leo, so it must be right."

Josh's answer seemingly placated him for the time being, and my friend let out a relieved breath.

In terms of context, the bait we set for Armband Guy went something like this: using my amazing talent for subterfuge, I infiltrated the group of the local creepy misfits to gather evidence about their misdeeds. During that time, I had also discovered the top-secret location of their secret stash, hidden at an unassuming location in town just in case their little Gathering got raided.

I naturally told Josh about the stash, and he informed the disciplinary committee, badgering Armband Guy until he agreed to come with him to overseer the disposal of the contraband. It was a very straightforward cover story made credible by our actions from the day before, combined with just a hint of refuge in audacity. As a matter of fact, Josh was doing really well on the latter front, to the point where even I might've believed him about the existence of the secret stash of underwear of I didn't know better. He was a natural when it came to pretending to be offended and outraged by the state of public morals. I wonder if he ever thought about becoming a politician…

"Speaking of which, where's Dunning?" Pascal inquired in a flat voice and glanced over his shoulder.

The question probably wasn't aimed at her in particular, yet my girlfriend immediately jumped to my defense.

"Leo can't come because of the Chimera!"

"She means brother is going to come later, because he is tracking the Chimera around the city," Snowy interjected in a hurry, keeping my cover story intact.

I was afraid Pascal would try to probe further, but he simply acknowledged their words with a blasé 'Hm,' and faced forward again. I let out a breath of relief I didn't even realize I was holding. I continued to follow him for a while, but even after a few minutes, he was only exchanging a few meaningless words with Josh. It wasn't even the fun, passive-aggressive kind of back and forth, just garden variety boring small talk about school life. I had to wonder since when were these two getting along? This was the second time I missed something like this after Ammy and Mike.



Oh, crap. I hope it's not the same situation! Our lives are complicated enough; we really don't need Josh's harem aura to start affecting guys too!

Bad jokes aside, since there was nothing particularly interesting to see here at the moment, I quickly shifted my attention over to Labcoat Guy. He was a whole block away from our guys, and he was standing on top of a… billboard. As in, one of those small, metal-framed billboards businesses put to the side of walkways in intersections.

… Um… What? Why was he doing that? Did I even want to know?

I shook my currently nonexistent head and decided to ignore the guy's peculiar choice of perch, and instead I focused on his immediate environment. I quickly found the trigger happy android and, let me see… Two, sixteen… Thirty-two of those silly sentai foot-soldier wannabees, plus at least one of those balls that turn into those biomechanical whatchamacallits. In other words, he was fully prepared. Unfortunately for him, we have already prepared for him to be prepared.

He also picked a great battleground again. It was the intersection of two of the main, four-lane roads running through the city. The juncture itself was already spacious, but then there was an empty supermarket parking lot on one side providing plenty of space for some carnage. On the opposite side, we had an eight-story office building with a number of balconies and fire escapes providing convenient footholds. In other words, whether the battle went horizontal or vertical, the stage was suitable.

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However, while I was confident that Joshua could finally leverage his protagonist status to deal with our resident mad scientist, there was still one pivotal detail that could make or break this encounter. While Josh's plan was fine, triggering it required the 'contribution' of Labcoat Guy, as he had to willingly draw everyone into the Purple Zone on his end. I was a little worried whether he would do so if I wasn't around, so I naturally made contingency plans for this scenario.

I focused my attention to the next red dot on the edge of my vision, and the odd purple hue layered over everything within my sight abruptly disappeared as my point of view moved behind the corner of a nearby boutique. I was relieved to see that Vurrok wasn't held up and arrived at the ambush point on time. I picked him for the job because according to Brang he was the sneakiest of the whole sneaky bunch of them, and I needed him to be on standby near the battle site and act as my anchor, just in case I would need to Phase over to goad Labcoat Guy into showing his face.

While I could've used Armband guy or any of the others to do this, and then hand-wave my sudden appearance by claiming I was using illusions, I didn't want to over-use that explanation. I was afraid that if I did that, they would sooner or later realize I was pulling the wool over their eyes and would try to come up with ways to counter my ability. As they say, information is power, and misinformation is doubly so.

In the meantime, our totally hapless, not at all prepared and eager little group came to the intersection where Labcoat Guy, for some inexplicable reason, was still balancing on top of a billboard. Seriously, why though? Was it a height thing? Maybe he just wanted to make sure he was immediately visible? I mean, if that was the goal, he definitely succeeded, but I wasn't sure it was worth sacrificing his dignity for.

Oh, wait. This is the guy who's doing unabashed sentai shenanigans without even a hint of irony or self-awareness. He had no dignity to begin with. Sorry, false alarm.

Anyhow, I held my breath with rapt attention while I waited for Josh and company to reach the intersection, ready to move at a moment's notice. And then...

"Ki-hi-hi-ha-ha-ha!!!"

... the whole world turned purple again with the sound of manic laughter.

Armband Guy visibly twitched in response to the sudden development, but he kept his cool and only gave the cackling mad scientist wannabe standing arms akimbo on a bloody billboard (no, I'm still not over it) a long, suspicious stare. His reaction was reasonable, as this was an unscheduled attack on my friends, one he evidently didn't expect to happen, let alone get caught up in it.

"What's going on?" he asked my friend at his side, and Josh promptly shrugged his shoulders.

"Exactly what it looks like. An ambush."

"You don't sound surprised," Pascal noted with a frown.

"We got used to it," the princess quipped as she and Snowy both stepped forth, and she even honest to goodness cracked her knuckles.

While that was going on, I hurriedly switched my attention over to the class rep. I had to make sure that they were also taken into the Purple Zone, otherwise things would go south really fast, and I was immediately relieved when I found the pair clumsily flying through the air.

"That way," she instructed the Celestial girl carrying her while pointing at something with one hand, the other one frantically trying to stop the skirt of her magiform from flipping over. I didn't know why she was so embarrassed about it; it wasn't like anyone could see her panties at the moment. Well, except for me, but I didn't count.

Angie nodded, or at least I think she did, as she frantically flapped her transparent wings while holding Ammy under her armpits. While the wobbly way they were flying didn't exactly inspire confidence, I decided to cheer for them all the same and left them to their mission. So far, so good.

Since I confirmed that the duo was on track, I moved back to the scene of the real action.

To tell the truth, I was looking forward to the coming battle juuust a little bit, and it wasn't just because I could potentially get to see Labcoat Guy get his teeth kicked in, but because even after all this time, I never had the chance to see a proper supernatural battle from start to finish. I was also really curious about just how much Josh improved, and getting some data on Armbad Guy was also a nice bonus.

As such, I changed my PoV again, and when my vision settled, I immediately froze in shock as I laid my eyes on Joshua raising his fist high.

"Today, we'll take you down! Right, Pascal?"

... Josh... Dude. I know that you must be in the moment and all, but why in the name of all that is holy are you posing!? It wasn't part of the plan! Posing should never, ever, be part of any plan!

"R-Right! You are going down!" my sister followed him up just a tad awkwardly and... Okay, what the hell!? Snowy, why are you posing too!? And what's with the way you are holding your hands!? You are not a sailor scout! You can't punish him in the name of the moon!

Okay, calm down me. Deep breaths, happy thoughts, the works. Now, let's look at this rationally. Maybe they are just really in the mood and they got carried away in their excitement and oh for the love of god princess, not you too!

"We are going to make you regret picking a fight with us today!"

Dammit Elly! If you don't want to be left out, at least stick to the theme! You look like you want to do a crane kick! At least pick a fitting pose! Or better yet, just don't do a pose at all!

I rapidly breathed in and out to calm the fires of my internal rage, but then I realized something. One sentai pose could be a mistake. Two, an act of passion. Three? That meant there was predetermination involved. So… maybe this was the plan? Was this how they wanted to get Labcoat Guy's attention? By playing into their theatrics?

If so, then I'll applaud their ingenuity. If not, then I'll give them a stern talk for fraying my nerves like that. In fact, I'll give them a stern talk anyway on principle.

Anyhow, I positioned my point of view at a spot where I could keep my eyes on both them and Labcoat Guy's little mob of robotic eyesores. I was half afraid that my old nightmare would be realized in front of me and the situation would devolve into a back and forth exchange of hackneyed dialog about justice and whatnot, but thankfully it never came to pass due to Armband Guy raising his voice.

"Are you really going to do this while I'm also present?"

"Ki-hi-hi!" The guy still precariously teetering on the billboard continued to let out chuckles that made his weird welding mast rock up and down, and then he declared, "Yes! Your presence is unexpected, but I'm actually glad to see you! With you here, he will have no choice but to show his true colors!"

"Who are you talking about?" Pascal asked back and my guys also shared an apprehensive look between each other.

"The man who made all the preparations for today's event! I'm sure he arranged for you to be here to test the veracity of my words! Isn't that right…" Speaking slowly, Labcoat guy leisurely raised his hand, and then sharply pointed forwards and exclaimed, "Leonard Dunning! Did you think your tricks would work forever!? We already have the means to detect you… with science!"

I could hear Snowy gasp in surprise. I could see Elly blink in confusion. I could also see the nervous sweat-drops forming on Josh's brows. But most important, I could see our resident sentai enthusiast point… in a complexly different direction than where I was right now. Or rather, from where I was looking at the scene at the moment, but let's not get bogged down by semantics.

There was a long, silent beat following his declaration, but since nothing happened, he added on an emphatic "Show yourself!" for little to no avail. Another five seconds of awkward silence later he sheepishly glanced over his shoulder and loudly whispered, "Psst! Galatea!"

"Yes, master?"

"Are you sure he's over there?"

"Affirmative," the eclectically dressed fembot answered without delay. "The new anti-illusion sensor arrays are detecting an invisible humanoid in that direction. Preliminary biometric scans indicate their height is approximately two meters. The probability of it being Leonard Dunning is ninety-seven percent."

"… I don't think he was that tall."

The funky android gave her master a flat look, then uttered, "Ninety-two percent."

"Whatever!" Labcoat Guy threw his hands into the air in resignation, almost losing his balance in the process. I really hoped he would fall over and we could get this over with, but unfortunately he quickly steadied himself and pointed in the same direction again. "You hear that, Leonard Dunning?! We can detect you, so come out already!"

Once again, nothing happened, even though everyone was paying close attention to the spot where he was pointing, and they seemed to be expecting that someone would suddenly appear out of thin air to walk around the corner. This, of course, actually included the invisible Faun around said corner. This was one of those moments where words simply failed me, and I had no hands to facepalm, so I had to settle with a long mental groan instead.

This encounter was already off the rails, and I had a premonition we had a trainwreck on our hands…

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