Chapter 37: ~Chapter 12~ Part 2

The school's rooftop was somewhat windy but otherwise pleasantly warm for the season. It was the kind of weather that was just begging for everyone to get together and have a giant ad-hoc picnic under the bright blue skies. Sadly the others didn't share my enthusiasm, so it was only Judy and I sitting on our customary bench and eating our typical lunches.

"They refused to talk to you too? How cold."

"Indeed," my assistant agreed with me between two bites of her usual sandwich. "Amelia did ask me a few questions though."

"Really? About what?"

"About how I knew they were betting yesterday."

"Oh, right. You called her up," I mused while trying to figure out if I should eat my fish sticks with mayonnaise or ketchup. In the end, I decided on both, though not at once. "What did you tell her?"

"That you used your newly developed psychic powers to spy on them and told me about it."

"Hey!" I protested aloud as I took a page from Angie's book and pointed a piece of deep-fried sea-life at her in a decidedly accusing manner. "I told you that was a secret."

In light of this new information though, all those times the class rep was bothering me with her First Earth Battalion Standardized Test Papers (patent pending) between the morning classes started to make a lot more sense.

"It's refuge in audacity," she replied between bites. "Because it's her, the others would be less inclined to believe her and would think that I was joking."

"That's..." I paused and tried not to furrow my brows too hard, but to no avail. "Did you just steal my modus operandi?"

"I did my homework," she answered with her casual monotone, but then she capped it off with a wink while somehow keeping the rest of her facial muscles completely motionless. It was so sudden and unexpected that I involuntarily laughed out.

"Ha! Clever girl! If you continue like this, I might even promote you to chief-assistant. For now, you can have a bonus," I sarcastically offered her my molded fish-meat product, and she bit down on it without blinking an eye. She bit, chewed, and swallowed it in less than three seconds, after which she looked at me with eyes even more deadpan than usual.

"What am I, a dog?"

"You took the treat."

"Because turning down food is rude."

"Sure," I smiled and held out the other half of the fish stick. She looked at it for a moment, uncertain about what to do, but then a blink of an eye later she snatched it out of my fingers and plopped it into her mouth.

"You are lucky these are tasty. Otherwise I would consider this teasing. And then I would sulk."

"No, you wouldn't." I chuckled and lightly shook the box in my hands. "By the way, you can have more if you'd like. I've got plenty."

She glanced at the pre-made lunchbox in my lap and nodded.

"Don't mind if I do."

She reached out for the box and picked another piece, but as she was about to raise it to her mouth there was a sudden, loud bang on the rooftop. It startled her and the fish stick slipped from her grasp, landing with a thump accompanied by a soft "Ah!" from her mouth. She gazed longingly at the deep-fried aquameat bar on the concrete before she glanced up at me.

"Five-second rule?"

"No! We are outside. Take another one; I'll throw that out later."

"Aw."

Before she could reach for the new piece though, the source of the previous loud noise began making its way towards us. Well, fine; technically it was the rooftop access door that made the noise, but let's not get bogged down in semantics. Anyways, once he found us, which wasn't that hard considering that the two of us were the only students on the roof this time, Josh briskly walked over and stood in front of me with a difficult expression.

"Man, I need your help."

"What was that?" I turned to Judy with faked puzzlement plastered all over my face. "Did you hear that? I could have sworn I heard Mister Cold Shoulder a moment ago... but there's no one here."

My friend curtly rolled his eyes and flashed an almost growling grimace in the process.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Listen, I'm sorry for ignoring you, which you brought upon yourself, by the way--"

"It really is strange," my assistant nodded with her cheeks full of fish fillet. "You are right. Eerie."

Josh slumped his shoulders in defeat and let out a pained noise.

"Fine, I get it! I already apologized, what else do you want?"

I sighed and finally looked him in the eyes.

"All right, what's the problem? Did you have another fight with Angie?"

"No, it's the transfer student!"

That raised a brow.

"You mean the princess?"

"No!" Josh all but yelled in exasperation. "The other one!"

Now, that raised two eyebrows.

"Another one? We didn't get a new transfer student."

"She is not in our class. She is a freshman in 1-A."

It was around this time the puzzle pieces finally began to fall into place in my head.

"Let me guess: She is your stalker from before."

"Yes, she is the girl who... Wait, how did you know that?"

"He is psychic," my assistant blurted out between two bites. I sent her a sharp glance in return.

"No, actually this time it was just simple deduction. Also, stop stealing my food."

"You gave it to me."

"I offered you some, not the whole box! I only ate a single one and half the box is gone already!"

"Stingy." She looked down at her own package and offered me one of her sandwiches. "Exchange?"

I tried my hardest to stay mad at her, but in the end I just snorted and took the offer, and before I could say anything she already snatched another fish stick.

"Listen, guys, your little quarrel is cute and everything, but I need help here! Seriously!"

I turned my attention back to Joshua while absent-mindedly unwrapping my new acquisition.

"Okay, I'm listening."

"She wants to marry me!"

I was about to bite into my sandwich, but that made me pause and lower it back down.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! She declared it when she attacked me on the first-floor hallway."

"So?"

He looked at me like I was a particularly dim kid who needed simple concepts explained.

"I'm too young to marry!"

I blinked at him and, after carefully placing the unwrapped sandwich beside my depleting seafood reserves, I facepalmed so hard it might have even left a mark.

"You know, just because she wants to marry you, it doesn't mean you automatically have to."

"Dude, you don't get it." Josh's cheeks suddenly flushed red and he sheepishly averted his eyes. "She is very... persistent."

"Uh-huh." I must have sounded even more skeptical than I intended, for Joshua gave me a look so severe I momentarily entertained the idea of taking a picture of it and selling it as bear-repellant. I sighed once again and crossed my arms. "So, how exactly am I supposed to help you?"

"Idunno... You are the one who is good with girls; I figured you can give me some advice or something..."

"Wait, hold on. Me? Good with girls? Didn't we already establish this was an unfounded rumor?"

Instead of answering Josh only glanced at my assistant, who happened to be in the middle of trying to simultaneously take another fish stick and sneak another of her sandwiches into my lunchbox without me noticing. I raised a questioning eyebrow at her, and for her credit, she had the decency to redden a little bit.

"Equivalent exchange?"

I finally gave up and just took the whole box and put it into her lap.

"There, you can have it if you really like it."

She looked blankly at the remaining fried fish fractions and promptly returned it into my lap while saying, "It's no fun like that."

So she really was doing it for attention! However, before I could properly express my disapproval over her behavior, my attention was drawn away by a smooth metallic sound as the well-oiled hinges of the door leading to the roof gave way. A moment later a familiar face emerged from the doorway, her long, impossibly white hair gently blowing in the previously established breeze. With each step she swung her otherwise rather petite hips like she was walking down a runway, though to be fair, she managed to make the uniform she was wearing look borderline glamorous. Now that I had a baseline for comparison, I had to say that as far as raw attractiveness was concerned she was easily on the level of the princess.

"Darling, where are you? I don't mind if you want to play hard-to-get, but there is no reason for you... to..."

The sultry voice of the girl entering our vision slowly faded to a whisper as she noticed me sitting on the bench. I shook my head disapprovingly and sighed.

"Snowy?"

"Y-Yes?" she stuttered as her previous seductive strut came to a guarded stumble. She awkwardly held her hands in front of her chest and refused to meet my gaze.

"What did I tell you about the vamp act?" She averted her eyes even further and mumbled something under her breath. "I couldn't hear you."

She stepped closer and spoke again, her voice impossibly soft.

"You said I shouldn't try it on Joshua."

"And then what did you do?"

She finally looked at me and her eyes were filled with uncertainty. "I... I couldn't help it."

I shook my head again and sighed, but before I could say anything my friend raised his voice in disbelief.

"Wait a minute! You two know each other?!"

"Yeah, we ran into each other a few times," I smiled at the motionless girl on the front. "Right, Snowy?"

She nodded meekly, but Josh didn't let up just yet.

"Snowy? Is that her name?"

"Wait, you haven't been formally introduced yet?" She shook her head, so I waved for her to step closer and when she did so I turned to Joshua. "Josh, this is Snowy."

"Actually, her name is Neige Liliam Inanna," my assistant interrupted, prompting a puzzled eyebrow from me.

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"Wait, how do you know that?"

"You told me on Friday."

As I thought about it, I could faintly remember off-handedly mentioning the name to her at one point or another.

"I keep forgetting about your amazing memory."

"Don't worry, I will remind you."

"Thank you very much," I told her with a smile that was only the slightest bit strained before I returned my attention to the duo in front of me. "Anyways, Snowy, this is Joshua Bernstein, aka the guy you have been stalking."

"You didn't have to put it like that..." she muttered dejectedly, a response which I promptly ignored.

"So!" I abruptly clapped my hands, startling everyone present, and smiled. "Handshake!"

The two of them blinked at me in unison, but nevertheless, their hands moved as if on their own accord. They both stared at their clasped hands like they didn't understand what was happening, but after a few awkward moments they finally proceeded to engage in a limp-wristed handshake while simultaneously trying to out-blush the other. I silently groaned and shook my head. They continued with the lifeless handshake for several long and increasingly uncomfortable seconds until they thankfully stopped, took a step back, and began to restlessly gaze at their toes.

At last, Josh sidled up to me and whispered, "Now what?"

"What do you mean ‘now what?' Talk to her."

"But I don't know what to say! She is acting completely..." He paused, apparently looking for the proper words. "... different from before! What did you do to her?"

"Nothing."

"Then why isn't she..." Josh animatedly wiggled his brows in the silent girl's direction. "... you know..."

"It's because she entered into the range of the chief's womanizer aura. It's like when a predator goes into another's territory. It makes them nervous and subdued. Nature in action."

I frowned at the girl sitting at my side, who by the way continued to periodically pilfer my food reserves without the slightest of reservations.

"I told you that I'm not a womanizer. Also, if you don't stop that, I will have to cancel your dental plan."

She looked back at me, fake surprise sparkling in her eyes, but her hand still moved to take the last vestiges of my lunch.

"I have a dental plan?"

"You had."

"And you removed it because I took your food?"

"Yep."

"... Are we returning to an abusive relationship?"

I groaned aloud.

"Not now, we have other things to do."

"Spoilsport."

It was around this point when Snowy began slowly backing away with an apologetic smile forced onto her face.

"I'm sorry... I think I better leave."

"Wait," I instructed her, and she obediently stopped in her tracks. I placed my nearly empty lunchbox back into Judy's lap and stood up, grabbed Josh by the shoulder, and pushed him towards the still idling girl on the front.

"What are you...?!" my friend protested my rough handling of him, but due to the difference in our bulk, he couldn't really stop me.

"Okay, you two. See that bench over there? Nice, secluded? A perfect place for explaining yourselves and discussing misunderstandings, don't you agree?"

"Wait, don't I have a say in this?"

"You came to me for help, now don't complain if the medicine is bitter." With that and one last push, I shooed them away. They both looked at me funny, but at last they walked over to the bench I indicated and grudgingly sat down. I sighed in exasperation and took my seat next to Judy again.

"Playing favorites?"

"Hm?" I didn't get what she meant at first, so she nodded towards the two awkward teenagers in the middle of engaging in awkward teenagerness. "Nah, I'm just leveling the playing field while also trying to get ahead of any annoying developments. The less awkward romance-hijinks there are in the long run, the better for everyone."

"I see." My assistant gazed at the two for a few seconds before she returned her attention to me. "What are they talking about?"

"I don't know. Right now they are probably looking for the right words to start a conversation while trying to avoid eye contact."

"Can't you just listen in on them?"

I awarded my assistant a flat look and lightly shook my head.

"No. I'm not going to intrude on their privacy. I'm no voyeur."

Judy was about to open her mouth, no doubt either to voice her admiration of my moral character or to deliver another of her verbal jabs. Sadly, history may never know which it would have been, as instead our conversation was interrupted by Joshua's voice.

"She is doing it again!"

I looked up and found him waving at me. Meanwhile, Snowy looked crestfallen and was looking at me apologetically. I sternly waved a finger at her and she shrunk back like a wilting flower.

"Sorry, it wasn't on purpose..."

I kept an eye on them for a few minutes, and while it was a rough start with no small amount of stuttering, they finally began talking in earnest. It seemed like the previous intermezzo finally broke the ice, and while they still seemed uncomfortable, at least they were communicating.

"I see." Judy nodded to herself at my side while she plopped the last of my fish bars into her mouth. I wiggled my eyebrow to urge her to explain herself, and after she swallowed she continued; "She got outside the effective range of your aura and she reverted."

I sighed and offhandedly answered, "Very funny."

"Thank you, I'm trying." Whether she really meant that or not I couldn't fathom, as my attention was drawn to the box on her lap. It was empty.

"Where did you even put all that food?"

She looked at the box as well and after a second of thinking, she moved her shoulders in what, with a lot of good will, could be called a half-hearted shrug.

"Girls have a second stomach for lunch."

"Wasn't that for sweets?"

I got another flat look.

"That's just silly." Saying so, she also reached back into her own bag and handed me another sandwich. "Here. Boys need to eat more."

"And whose fault is it that my lunch is gone?" I complained, but I still accepted the offer graciously. Though, as I thought about it, I didn't get to eat the ones she gave me either, did I? Weren't they in the box too?

I glanced down at the empty container again and Judy, as if reading my mind, averted her eyes with just the barest hints of embarrassment.

"You know, eating too much isn't good for your health either," I grumbled as I unwrapped the sandwich.

"Don't worry. All the calories go to the most attractive part of my body."

"Your brain?"

She fell silent for a good five seconds before she almost imperceptibly cocked her head to the side.

"I decided to take that as an endearing compliment instead of a backhanded insult about my appearance. You got lucky."

I ended the conversation with a half-hearted ‘If you say so' and began munching on my newfound sandwich, but after the first bite I stopped. I chewed and swallowed it in record time before I turned back to my assistant with a question.

"Didn't I buy you a couple of chicken sandwiches?"

"You did."

I looked down at the sandwich in my hand and raised the top slice. "... Yeah, this is definitely not chicken." Not only that, it had a full set of condiments and a reasonably fresh beef patty. It even had a different wrapping than the rest. "You know, if I didn't know better, I would say this is homemade."

"It is."

"Really?"

My assistant nodded. "I have more if you like it," she replied, her offer accompanied by her presenting me with a couple more similarly wrapped burgers.

"If you had these on you, why did you make me buy you sandwiches?"

"Because those were my wages."

During this whole conversation, Judy was so straightforward and made all my questions sound so oblivious that I could only groan in annoyance.

"Fine, then I will graciously accept your offer." With that, I took another bite and started leisurely chewing... at least until I noticed how fixated Judy was on my face. For the first few bites I tried to ignore her, but at the end of the day I took a deep breath and turned to her.

"Yes?"

"Are they any good?"

I blinked at her a few times, then quickly tried to give her a ‘that's an oblivious question' look. Just to return the favor.

"Of course they are. Do I actually have to say it?"

She stared at me for a few seconds without a word before she looked away and faced forwards.

"You might be good at flirting with girls, but you lack delicacy. At this rate, you'll never find a girlfriend."

I stifled a chuckle and raised the half-eaten burger to my mouth. "I will burn that bridge when I get there," I told her and was about to take a bite when I stopped, frowned, and glanced back at her. "Also, I'm not flirting with anyone."

"Sure, Chief. If you say so."

After this point, I proceeded to categorically ignore my assistant and instead focused on her burgers (and no, there was no innuendo here), which I had to admit were surprisingly tasty. There were only a couple of minutes left of the lunch break and we spent them in comfortable silence. I periodically glanced at Josh and Snowy to see if everything was all right, but to my relief, they seemed to get along surprisingly well.

When the first warning bell rang before the end of the break Snowy visibly twitched. They shared a few more words before they parted and the girl scampered to the door. She abruptly stopped there as if suddenly remembering something she forgot, then she turned around, smiled at me, and gave me a small wave. I returned the gesture and a second later she was running down the stairs. While all this happened, Josh returned to our side with some residual red still coloring his cheeks. Sheesh, the guy could be really hopeless at the weirdest of times. Anyways, he sat by my side and gave me a sidelong glance.

"She is strange, isn't she?"

"Not stranger than some other girls I know." At this point, Judy lightly poked me in the ribs with her elbow and I shooed her away saying; "That wasn't aimed at you. Stop it."

"I wonder if she will keep stalking me," Josh muttered at my side in a slightly hazy voice, apparently completely disregarding the minor commotion at his side. I shrugged my shoulders in return.

"Probably won't. There is no point now that you are on speaking terms. If she does, just call me and I'll talk some sense into her."

"Speaking of which." My friend changed his posture so he could look me in the eye. "How exactly did you get to know her in the first place?"

It was at this time the second warning bell rang, signaling that there were only five minutes left of the break. I promptly stood up and tilted my head towards the door.

"Let's get going. I'll tell you on the way."

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