The Spirit In Me

Chapter 48: Chapter 12. What do I want to believe in? (IV)


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""Reality is war, and war never ends, it just changes shape."" He recited carefully.

"At first I didn't understand this sentence properly when I was a child.

My grandfather always used to say it.

At one point it even annoyed me to hear it over and over again. But, when he explained it to me, I suddenly saw how it condenses everything that exists into one sentence that contains it all. A sentence that filled me so much that I didn't need anything else but it.

Reality is war.

in any field.

In everything I do.

As soon as I wanted to be strong, a war started.

As soon as I wanted to be smart, a war started.

As soon as I wanted to be happy, a war started.

Every time I wanted something, a war started.

The war does not have to be on the battlefield. It happens wherever I have a desire.

That's why he said, "And war never ends, it just changes shape."

The only way it can end is as soon as I stop having a will of my own.

As soon as I no longer exist.” Ruan said as he was looking deeply into Lin's eyes.

"Since then, I realized that anything I wanted to achieve, I had to fight to achieve it.

I had to overcome everything else that stood in my way to get it. However long the road may be, I have only two choices.

Fight or surrender.

As soon as I surrender, the reality around me will eat me up until there is nothing left out of me. Not even ash.

Therefore, I fight.

I fight back to repay the world for everything it had done to me. To me and to my grandfather.

And finally, I will be the one, who will win the war" Ruan concluded.

"More than the relationship that ended, what hurt me the most was what you said to me.

You will be left alone.

These words came back to me every time I was rejected by society.

Every time I was laughed at. Every time I was humiliated. The words you said came to my mind, reminding me that I will never fit in and be part of you. That I will forever be alone.

But, you were wrong.

I was not left alone.

I had my grandfather by my side.

He was by my side no matter what I did.

Even on my hardest days. Even when I hated the whole world, and him. Even then, he stayed by my side.

He was always there… until your mother took him away from me!” Ruan exclaimed angrily as he stomped on the floor with force with his eyes glowing fury.

"Because of the pressure she put on him! Because of her pursuit of him! Because of her! Because of her he died!" Ruan shouted frantically.

"I tried to protect him! I tried to stop it!" he exclaimed as he grabbed his head.

"But! As usual! I screwed up! I failed! And as a result, he is dead!!!" Ruan screamed with immense agony exploding from Energia as he released the detained sorrow and pain inside of him.

He was breathing heavily trying to calm down, still curled up. He blew out one long breath. Silently, he looked at Lin again and said in a calm tone.

"Because I was alone, Always I had a tendency to think that I would fail in everything I did.

That in the end I'll end up alone at the bottom, just like you said." he recalled with the frustration that haunted him his whole life.

"So right now, I'm about to prove otherwise.

I am finally about to complete what I have wanted to do all my life.

Kill you.

Tear you apart.

Make you feel what you have done inside of me all these years, and to finally be free from this sentence.

From this fate.

And to be set free when for the first time, I am the one who is on top.” Ruan said as he looked into Lin's eyes.

Standing over her in the dark, all she could see was the purple light emanating from his eyes.

A burning light that, if his words were not clear enough, transmitted in the purest form - hatred.

Lin looked down at him. Against the background of the sky, she looked into his eyes.

Lin's determined look said it clearly.

"Finish it quickly."

He raised his hand and sent it in her direction.

"This is the end." Lin thought in completeness when suddenly, Ruan's face contorted as a foot took its place in the image Lin saw.

A split second after, a huge explosion occurred.

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The kick sent him flying hundreds of meters through the walls of the house and out into the nearby woods.

Suddenly, the commander of the bodyguard unit, Fit, stood in his place.

A tall, shapely, and muscular man in a tight black body suit.

He looked in Ruan's direction as the rest of his unit already ran towards Ruan's direction.

Suddenly, he recognized Lin on the floor.

"Lin!" he exclaimed anxiously and surprised. "You are ok?!" he asked as he picked her up.

"Where is your mother?!" he wondered as he looked at her.

Lin started to cry as she grabs her face, can't stop the tears that accumulated inside.

His shocked look showed that he understood immediately. Looking to the side, he saw it.

It was hard to tell that it was her, but her long hair and Lin's reaction left no room for doubt.

He quickly averted his painfully gaze.

"Lin.." Fit whispered. "I'm sorry..." he said as he bowed his head.

He quickly transmitted Lin to the street where there was a very large amount of his unit's men mixed with military units.

"Go to the hospital. Make sure she's okay." ordered Fit as he put her in the car.

Fit took a deep breath to announce out loud.

"Declare an immediate state of emergency for the city! We must evacuate all the residents of it as soon as possible!

30% of the manpower will be diverted to the evacuation of the residents!

Women, old people, and small children are in high priority!

All other warriors, prepare for battle!” he shouted loudly.

"What? Why such drastic measures?" One of Fit's squad members asked, "He's just one person," he said puzzled.

"It's true." Fit responded, “But.. when I kicked him… I felt a sensation I'd never felt before.

Like he was made out of steel...

This is a completely different situation than I have ever encountered. Therefore, I do what I feel is the most right.

Gut feeling.” he concluded.

"Come on! Get going!" he hastened the forces.

"Right away sir!" One of the soldiers called out as they leap into the vehicle and started driving along with Lin.

The rest of the forces split according to Fit's instructions. Fit stood with dozens of soldiers behind him at the entrance to the forest. Looking in Ruan's direction, he spoke to them.

"He is not an ordinary person.

This may be our last fight.

But, don't be deterred. Concentrate on the goal in front of us.

This is the goal for which we have been training for all these years.

We must defeat the enemy who threatens to destroy us at any cost.

Us. Our city. And everything we love.” Fit explained with determined calmness.

"Therefore! Do not hesitate and give him your all! Soldiers! Prepare for battle!!!" he shouted with a powerful battle roar.

The soldiers shouted with a louder roar right after him.

Ruan got up from the floor in a forest full of trees, a few hundred meters away from the mayor's house, he was already halfway outside Saraf.

He was surprised by the kick.

He had never been hit with such force.

But amazingly, he is still standing.

Quickly, he heard the sounds of commotion going on around him. Large groups of soldiers stood at a distance in front of him. He turned back as he looked at the sandy mountains outside Saraf.

When suddenly, the image of Mada came into his mind.

He looked back, looking at the city that caused him all this suffering.

"Grandpa died because I was too afraid to die. Because of my recklessness driven by fear, he died. Never again I will ever run away." He vowed in his heart.

"Reality is war..." he said to himself as he stood in front of them and cracked his neck.

"And war never ends. It just changes shape." He repeated as he was once again filled with rage.

The rage filled his whole body, giving him strength. His purple Energia began to surround him as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, they glowed in a purple light as bright as the sun.

He had a crazy look in his eyes and a huge smile on his lips as his desire for battle raged.

Fit stood first, at the front of the soldiers with folded hands. He released his hands to his sides and leaped forward with tremendous speed, and the battle began.

In the backseat, covered in the blood of her mother, Lin cried curled up to herself.

"You're fine now! You don't have to worry anymore! You're in safe hands!" The soldier in the car called out in a desperate attempt to comfort Lin.

But quickly, from her crying voice he understood.

It's not about crying over where she was, but about what happened there. When he realized it, tears began to flow from his eyes as well. He bit his lips forcefully as he wiped his eyes from his tears as they headed out of Saraf.

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