Dear diary, it’s been almost fifteen hours since Servy rescued me from the Mafia. I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and write about what’s been going on. To be honest, I don’t think I can do that now, so it’ll have to wait until much later.
I think this is what you meant, grandpa, when you said I have to pick and choose what to jot down. Do I only want to remember the good? Do I want to include the bad things? How much of each do I want to write down?
I didn’t really know what you meant then, but now, I do. I don’t think I have an answer to it yet… Or maybe I do. Maybe I have to be more picky or decisive in my writing.
Side-note: I think I have to get better at actually writing what I want to write and not scramble on and on like a crazy person.
It seems like the large part of this diary is filled with ramblings because I can’t or don’t or won’t pick something to focus on.
Am I even making any sense?
Ah! There it goes again! Jeez, at the pace I’m going, I’ll probably need three or four more of these things.
But right now, I think I’ll focus on Servy. She’s the most important thing in my life, so that should be a major priority.
Like I said above, it’s been almost fourteen or fifteen hours since she saved me from the Mafia. That also meant it’s only been about nine hours since she stopped talking.
But it wasn’t limited to speaking. Servy just didn’t acknowledge me or the things she saw. But when I talk to her, I know she’s listening, and that makes my heart feel at ease. For example, after I talked to her immediately after she… 'disappeared,’ I held her hand and started walking. She followed right with me, keeping up with my pace and everything. I even started to run, and she jogged along with me.
Then I stopped and let go of her hand. Then I held it back out. I thought Servy would go and grab it, but she didn’t. She just stared ahead down the road
“Come on, Servy. Let’s hold hands.” After I said that, she reached her hand out and took mine, but she squeezed too tightly. When I yelped in pain, she let go and immediately started to cry. Well, it was more like wailing and sobbing.
I don’t really know why she had such a sudden breakdown, but I didn’t let her suffer alone. I just wrapped my arms around her and said she had to be gentle because I wasn’t as strong as her. Then I started to hum and gently swayed from left to right. I guess you say we were dancing? Maybe? But I didn’t see it that way. I was only doing what you did to me, grampy, when I had a bad dream. Remember how you used to hug me after I had a nightmare? I felt so protected, so I wanted to do the same for Servy.
I wanted to let her know I wasn’t angry or upset at her. After she calmed down, I held my hand out for Servy to try again.
Her hand just floated above my palm, barely touching it, so I had to take the initiative. This time, Servy was the one who yelped, like she was copying me and wanting to understand why I reacted the way I did.
It was odd, that much I can say. But then the strangest thing happened. Her face returned to a doll-like state, and she had this unmoving look about her. After that, we just walked as normal, hand-in-hand until night came.
I built my tent and prepared the fire, but Servy had half of the equipment in her backpack. So I couldn’t exactly get dinner ready. But I didn’t go hungry. As soon as I complained about food, a small ball of fire, a metal skewer, and a piece of chicken appeared floating in front of me.
I guess I don’t really have to say it, but Itarr came to my rescue. I figured she wanted me to grab the skewer and stab the chicken, so I did. Then when I held it out, the fire floated over, cooking my dinner for me.
It was a very odd experience, and I think I know why.
First, and I realize I’m late on this, but Servy is sharing a soul with a Goddess. A GODDESS!!! That means Itarr helped create the world, right? She’s one of those all-powerful beings who reside in the Heavens, right? Well, I guess used to reside is the right word. I don’t really know how it happened because Itarr lost her memories, but she was somehow sealed up. When Servy died for the first time, she met Itarr. Things happened, and now the two are sharing a soul together.
It’s a lot to take in. To be honest, I’m not sure how I didn’t straight-up collapse when Servy told me her biggest secret.
I’m still in shock about learning that… Does that mean I have to worship her like those people in the church? Should I get an offering gift for her?
Dang, before I even think about doing that, I need to say sorry. I said some terrible things to her when I was upset, and I feel horrible. Itarr must’ve really loved Servy to keep her emotions sealed away. And I don’t even want to know how bad she’s feeling now.
I kinda apologized, I really need to do it when I have the chance. I did think about doing it now, but maybe it’s better to wait until Servy is better? I’ll think about that. I mean I don’t want to completely put it off, and it’s mean of me to say this, but Servy comes first. But I did say sorry, and Servy said sorry, too. They had an awful fight and that ended with something horrible being said, but they eventually made up. I'm happy about that... Like I said, I did make up with her, but I wanna do it right. Maybe I can get her a gift? But what would Goddess want as present. I don't know, I'm gonna have to think about it because I don't think a Goddess has ever received a present from a mortal.
It has to be something good because it's thanks to her that Servy was able to rescue me. Oh, I now know that Itarr was who Servy was talking about a week ago. We had breakfast, at least I think it was breakfast, when I commented about Servy’s ring. Servy mentioned that someone very important gave it to her. I can tell she really loves Itarr, and I know Itarr loves Servy. Everything she said at the time is making so much more sense now that I know the truth.
Her powers are incredible. I mean, they’re things that you, grampy, used to tell me about. Who knew I would meet an invincible warrior with the strength of a thousand men? When we walked past the… 'hole’ she had made in the ground, I nearly lost control of myself.
It was Servy versus an army over 15,000 strong, and she came out on top, leaving no one left alive. I probably need to provide some backstory for it to make sense, but the Mafia, who kidnapped me, was created to kill a single man in Canary. That man was Fisher Jin, who did some awful things in the past, including killing Sakdu’s wife and daughter, who used to be the Mafia’s leader. He plotted for almost 10 years, building and assembling a large army full of people who can use Rank 1 skills...and Servy just erased it all away with a barrage of skills.
Grampy, Servy said the hole was 3,000 kilometers deep… That’s not a hole... A hole is like digging dirt to put in a plant. Or digging a hole to find buried treasure, but what Servy did? That wasn’t a hole. It was more like a wound in the planet itself. If it could cry, I’m sure it would have.
Oh, and here’s the kicker...
She’s even stronger than that… If what she said was accurate, and I believe it is because I trust her, her strength has no limits because she takes the souls of her fallen enemies. To be honest, that alone is enough to make her sound like an invincible, soul-hungry monster who feeds on the dead.
But she isn’t a monster. She’s the furthest thing from a monster, and I’ll die defending that. Just think. If she wasn’t here and Sakdu did launch his invasion of Canary, then just think about how many people would’ve died. I’d imagine Warden would get involved, but even all of Canary’s Warden members and guards couldn’t fight against Sakdu and his army. I’d imagine there would be a lot of deaths, and I guess a lot of children would either die or become orphans, but Servy prevented that from happening. There’s just no telling how many people she saved by wiping out the Mafia.
And I know she’s invincible because I’ve experienced her deaths first-hand. While Itarr didn’t let me see it with my own eyes, I did see her heads roll in front of me… Grampy, it was scary, seeing lifeless heads stare up at me with red eyes... It was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever been a part of, even when considering I thought I was about to die when I was kidnapped.
I mean, if I had died, that would’ve been it. But Servy? She has a heart of gold. If she had died for real, then the world would’ve been sorry they lost such a treasure.
I’ve said it before, but she’s incredible! She’s someone that’s going to go down in legend as a person who accomplished the impossible!
But me? I’m just a dumb Singi who hasn’t accomplished a single thing.
That was how I used to think.
And I’m kinda happy to say that I don’t think like that anymore. Instead of finding my own resolve to live, I wanna live for someone else’s benefit. And I think you know that who is, but that someone is Servy.
I can make her life easier. I know I can. That’s why I’m going to take care of her. I wasn’t there when she needed someone the most because I ran away like an idiot, but I’m not going to be stupid anymore. I’ll still be living my own life, and I’ll still have my personal hopes and dreams, it’s just that I’ll also be living for her. If she’s happy, then I’m gonna be happy.
Wait, if that’s the case, then isn’t that my resolve to live?
Great! I’m getting off topic again. I guess I’ll start over and do my best to keep my thoughts in a line.
In a way, Servy isn’t a good girl. She’s a murderer, and in her words, a villain... That much I can say even if it hurts my heart. She’s killed both innocent children and guilty criminals by the thousands. Nimea was also one of her casualties, and while I didn’t like him, I want to believe he did his best to comfort me in his own way. If anything, I hope his passing wasn’t painful. I don’t really know how to say this, but don’t worry, Nimea. You’ll have a chance to reunite with your family, and apologize to your friends. As crazy as it sounds, Servy is gonna bring you back to life! Heck, I’ll even go with you to do it! Me and Servy will be there with you!
But that also means I’m a murderer, too. I'm also the second villain of Arcton... The people who died only lost their lives because Servy had to save me. I still hurt deep inside when my actions were the reason Arcton won’t ever recover. That pain is probably going to haunt me for a long time.
But then I just thought about something. This whole thing only happened because I was insistent on going to Arcton, but we had the option to wait and go to another town to complete our promotional quest. I remember Claire saying it was further away, but it was an option...
If I had went with that option, then we would’ve been gone for at least a week and a half. I probably wouldn’t have been kidnapped, and there wouldn’t be anything stopping Sakdu’s army. All of my friends in Canary would’ve died, but the innocent babies in Arcton would be alive. Then again, wouldn’t that mean the children in Canary would have died in return?
When I think about that, was it a good idea to go to Arcton? Regardless, a lotta people died or would have died in either case, and that includes innocent children.
Man, I should stop writing about that. I feel like I’m about to cry...
But I’m getting off topic again by thinking about the ‘would haves.’ I’m here to talk about my best friend!!! Focus, Momo!!!!! You can’t change the past, so you have to live with your actions and learn from them!!!!
Servy… She’s definitely a hero. Back in Canary, she took part in a mission to rescue pretty much every slave that was being held in the slave markets. I don’t even think I can count just how many slaves she rescued from a terrible life. That’s a good thing, mind you. The higher the number the better.
But to save them, Servy also had to kill a lot of guards. I guess most of them were evil, but I’m sure a few only took the job because they needed the money. It doesn’t excuse them, but it doesn’t make everything black and white. Servy made a pot of orphans that night. Brothers lost brothers, sisters lost sisters… Families were probably ripped apart that night.
…
Servy’s hurting a lot. She’s feeling guilty and sad because she had to kill so many people. And in my eyes, she had already atoned by dying so many times. When the lightning started to strike, I kinda lost consciousness, but I know Servy summoned it via some sort of skill. And if I had to bet a dupla, I know what that lightning’s target was.
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I mean, I saw the proof myself… So… Servy’s already paid the price. For every life she took, she gave one of her own in return. She said even if she spent 1,000,000,000,000,000 years doing nothing but good deeds, it wouldn't make up for her sins. And she's right about that. But she shouldn't thinking about marking out the bad parts of her life with the good parts because the bad parts are a part of her. If she didn't have those, she wouldn't be the Servy I knew. If Servy wants to go around helping people, I'm not gonna stop her. Heck, I'll be right there beside her the entire time!
And now that I know her past, I think she really needs me. And I think I need her. I told her that if she can’t forgive herself for the people she killed, even though they were bad, I told her I will forgive her. For whatever she does. Thanks, grandpa. You were the one who told me that, and now, I’m telling it to someone else.
I think Servy wants to make amends, and that’s why she used a super powerful skill to heal Old Man’s granddaughter. To be honest, I never heard of Lux Dei Omnipotentis before today. It’s a Rank 0 skill capable of healing every wound, injury, or disease a person has. Angie, Old Man’s granddaughter, suffered from a horrible illness. Then she lost her memory after Old Man killed his son after he purposely scarred Angie. The poor girl has had a hard life, and like Servy, Angie doesn’t really remember her life before she met Moko, the Elf looking after her. Though after she was healed, I think she was starting to remember a little bit.
Grampy, Servy used one the most powerful skills in the world to heal Angie. She cured her horrible disease and healed the scars going down her arm. If that isn't what a hero does, then I don't want to meet one...
Me, her, Moko, and Angie were transported to this beautiful place. It looked like paradise... A voice from the sky talked to us, and then someone who had my voice but with wings appeared in front of us. Even now, I still feel emotional after witnessing and being a part of such a miracle. I want to write more about it and how I felt, but the words just aren’t coming to my mind.
I can’t remember how much Potential it needs, but Servy used either 500 or 1,000 for a single use. If she ever wants to use the skill again, Lux Dei Omnipotentis is gonna cost twice as much.
Oh yeah, before she... ‘disappeared,’ Servy made a vow to me. She said she’d do everything in her power to bring back the lives of the babies, children, and innocent people she had killed. It sounds impossible, right? It does, but it isn’t. I don’t know how it came about, but Servy has the ability to learn Necromancy skills. I know, right? I wouldn’t believe it myself if I hadn’t seen it with my own blue eyes.
But it’s not as simple as clicking on Necromancy and learning a resurrection skill. There’s trials and stuff she has to do to unlock the ability to purchase them with Potential. If that’s gonna be her goal, then it’s gonna be my goal, too. I’m going to support her in any way I can. Together, we’re going to achieve the impossible!!!
If that isn’t her showing that she wants to do the right things and make up for the innocents she had killed, I don’t know what is...
Again, and I think I mentioned this before, but Servy talked about how she was tired of being a villain. I don't know if that was some odd remnant of her past that suddenly showed up (can that even happen?) but if she wants to be a hero, then I want to be one with her. But even as I'm writing this, who knows if this whole 'hero and villain' thing even makes sense? There's a chance Servy was just saying something-- anything at all. Will she even remember that? If she doesn't, then it falls to me to remind her!
And then there was the part that scared me the most. Servy started to ramble on about things we had already talked about, and had already forgiven each other about, and then she begged me not to leave her. Then she begged not to be put back into the cage. I bet a donut that has something to do with her past. What kind of stupid monster would trap someone like Servy in a cage?! If that's what she came from... I wonder if it has anything to do with that 'Navi' name I heard her talk about. In her summary, she mentioned she felt ill whenever she said that name, and that's partially why I haven't said it to her.
But I does match up, doesn't it? She hates that name because it's the name of the person who used to put her in a cage... Grr!!! I'm gonna have to show that creep that he can't be messing with my Servy!!!!!
Speaking of my Servy... That brings me to this.
Even though the friendship between me and Servy was built and broken by a buncha lies stringing together, think I realized something today.
I love Servy as a friend. I don’t even want to imagine a world that forces us to be apart. Even as I was eating my dinner, I couldn’t help but stare at Servy. She just stood there in the middle of our little camp, but she was absolutely divine. Suddenly, I found it hard to breathe, and I felt a pounding in my chest. Did I actually love her more than a friend?
Is that a sign of something? Is it possible for two girls to love each other like that? I guess a part of me hopes so, because between you and me, diary, I won’t ever let Servy be alone again. If I could have it my way, I’d be right beside her every step of the way.
Grampy, did you feel that way about grammy? You didn’t talk about her a lot, but when you did, you always said she was the apple of your eye. If that’s the case, then is Servy the apple of my eye?
…Now I kinda want to eat an apple… Maybe me and Servy can grab one? We could share it… Maybe even dip it in sugar or peanut butter... Oh, slabbing some jelly on there sounds good, too.
Ah, but back on topic. Even thought I’m sitting by the fire Itarr made, looking up at the stars while scribbling this super-long diary entry, I keep smiling at Servy. Oh, I should mention that she’s asleep in her tent. Or I think she’s asleep.
When I asked her if she was going to put her tent up, she didn’t react in any way, but then her tent showed up. It was probably Itarr’s doing.
“It’s your tent, Servy. You can sleep in it. Sleeping might help,” I said. Obviously, I didn’t say she had to go to sleep right at that second, but she crawled into it and laid down without eating dinner.
Sure, she told me before that she doesn’t require food, water, or sleep, but that can’t be comfortable. I mean, I told her we can make memories by chowing down on yummy food, so I can’t go back on my promise!
Momo, that’s one thing you definitely need to do! You always feel better when you eat, right? I’m sure it’ll help Servy! Girl, you gotta learn how to cook!
Hmm… I don’t really know what else to write. It’s been a long day, and my mind is swirling like crazy. As for what I need to do in the morning before we depart? I’ll write that down just in case.
One: I really need to clean Servy’s blood off my armor and take a bath. I know it’s wrong for me to be selfish at this time, but I promise I’ll apologize to Servy later. Just think, if I smell bad, and she’s next to me, then doesn’t that mean I’m making her uncomfortable?
And that’s the very last thing I ever want to do.
Two: maybe I should sing more? I want to believe that my singing can help, but maybe I’m in over my head. If not that, then I’ll talk a lot. As for what? The topic doesn’t matter. Literally anything can help her, I think, and I’m willing to do just about anything because she’s my best friend in the whole wide world!!!
Three: I need to continue to hold her hand. That’s a given. Remember what Claire told me about holding hands? She said her grandmother told her peoples’ souls could communicate when they hold hands while asleep. We aren’t exactly asleep, but let my soul help you, Servy.
Speaking of which… Excuse me, the girl who lives in my consciousness… If you can help Servy, I’ll be really grateful.
Another side note: I don’t know how to talk to the Momo within me. I'm usually asleep or unconscious when we meet.
But I think that’s about it. I mainly need to focus on being there for her. I’m the one who will be her defender. Servy, I won’t let anyone hurt you. If they want to, they have to go through me, and I won’t back down!!!!! And that includes that jerk, Navi!
I kinda sounded cool there, didn’t I? Hehe!
I guess it’s time for me to sleep, but I don't feel like it. I'm worried that what I went through will haunt me in the form of nightmares. Servy told me a nightmare about a bloodied version of me, and that just sounded outright horrible. This might be a little selfish, but I'm hoping the girl who looks like me can help me. But maybe it's better that I experience those nightmares so I can better understand what Servy had to go through...
I’ll write again when we’re closer to Canary. If I don’t, then it’ll have to wait until I’m back in my room at the Warden inn. When will we get there? I don’t know. I plan to take it slow, mainly so I can spend time with Servy and help her. I think it took us 3 days to get to Arcton, but I imagine it might take us 4 or 5 days to reach Canary. That’s fine with me, and I know it’s fine with Servy. When I’m with her, it seems like everything is right in the world...
Goodnight, diary.
Ah, grampy, I wanna to thank you again before I head to bed. This little journal is going to help me far more than I thought it would. I feel much more calmer and at peace, like I know it’s all going to work out. Obviously, I thought that before, but now I’m triple sure it’s gonna be okay.
Sincerely,
Momo.
P.S. I gave this entry a second read not even five minutes after I said I was going to sleep, and I can’t believe I was all over the place!
Momo, you seriously need to organize your thoughts before you start writing!!!
Hey, why don’t you set that as a goal? Besides, remember what you told Servy? You said she can rely on you, so why don’t you rely on her? She’s super smart, and you know she’ll help you with stuff like writing.
So yeah, do that. That way, when you go back and see grampy, you can tell him you got smarter.
Oh… Maybe I could start on being a better writer by writing in first person? Oh man, if someone finds this thing and reads it, they’re probably going to think I’m crazy because I’m switching between using ‘I’ and ‘Momo.’
One more thing: please decide between using ‘journal’ or ‘diary.’ You’ve switched between those two like five or six times. Make up your mind, girl!!!
Gah!!! You’re doing it again!!!
Ok… That’s enough writing for one day!!! It’s time to sleep!
Good night, journal.
Sincerely, Momo.
~~ The End ~~
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