Chapter 8: Volume 2 - CH 1

I ran, as if fleeing the noise of the shrill, screeching brakes.

Beneath the jet black night, I grabbed Michiru’s hand and fled. I was certainly fleeing, but who exactly was I fleeing from? What was it that I had to avoid? All I knew was that if I stood by watching idly, Michiru would die. I didn’t remember, but I knew. It would unmistakably happen.

My heart was burst. I could no longer tell whether that was due to the running or my anxiousness. I was squeezing her hand, so she must be safe. As long as there was still warmth and tenderness left in this hand, she must be safe. 

But I lacked the strength to turn around and look.

I moved my legs again. As if to break free from a dreading premonition. A premonition like I wanted to break free arose, and yet now was already far too late to act. The instant I realized that, the hand I was so tightly gripping slipped away.

I had failed to rescue her again.

I steeled myself, and slowly turned around. Here and there, crimson red footprints stained the ground. The footprints belonged to one person. There were none others. …Ah, the owner of these footsteps must be an awful person.

She was so precious, someone I couldn’t ever lose, and yet she died. She saved me, and yet I was powerless, and couldn’t protect her no matter how hard I struggled. It was hell.

That’s why I had no other choice. I brought my right hand I was so tightly gripping to my chest. If Michiru’s hand wasn’t there, I wouldn’t be able to go on. And yet, the thing it was gripping was an unbelievably light fruit knife. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, unconsciously picturing the current scene in my mind. A familiar person was stretched out onto the ground in front of me, and I knew that she had passed away. A fruit knife in my hands, and someone’s corpse. Had I killed her? That couldn’t be right. I could remember. Anything and everything, perfectly, completely. If I hadn’t killed her, then why was she collapsed on the ground?

But who cared about the reason?

She was already dead, so there was nothing left for me to do ‘today.’

For a brief second, I met eyes with the me reflected in the sharp fruit knife. The rest was easy. A painless method. The ultimate act of self-harm. I flawlessly executed the motions I’d repeated thousands of times before.

I dreamed that Inaba Michiru died.

In traffic accidents, falling down stairs, struck by lighting, countless nonsensical, illogical events that were beyond absurd even for dreams. In especially gruesome cases, she even lost her life to a random slasher attack. The repulsively violent nature of these experiences, not to mention the dying itself, were unbelievably frightening. 

I couldn’t resist no matter how hard I tried. Whatever preparations I attempted were futile. The conclusion had been carved in stone from the very beginning, and she continued to die. Every time, I despaired, chasing after her through suicide.

Because that way, the day wouldn’t be chosen. I could erase that day. I didn’t know why. Why my death would result in an unchosen day. I was too self-centered to worry about that.

I didn’t understand why, but I faithfully followed that rule. 

“Recently, I’ve been having weird dreams.”

I had never dreamed a single time before, but recently, my nights had become filled with nightmares all of the same variety.

“Mm.”

Sitting across the table from me was my cousin who occasionally came for dinner- none other than Minase Yuuka.

Sunday night, and Yuuka was stuffing her face with cream puffs as she listened to my story.

When she came for dinner, she frequently brought sweets along as a gift. Was she planning on turning me into a pig?

Perhaps the better question was, how wasn’t she fat?

Maybe she was a monster?

“What kind of dreams?”

“Um, about an important person dying.”

With her face bulging with cream puffs, she froze, her eyes widening.

“I know what’s going to happen, and try to stop it, but it never works. I always fail no matter how many times it happens, and I always end up feeling extremely sad.”

I said nothing of the specifics.

Admittedly, whenever I tried to put my thoughts into words and explain to others, the process felt far too raw, and emotionally impossible for me. And besides, the words ‘Michiru died’ wasn’t something I could utter so easily.

“Oho, sounds like a tragic play!” In a forced motion, Yuuka turned her face towards the ceiling. “So in your dreams, I died every night, didn’t I!”

I paused. I’d probably chosen the wrong person to consult.

Unaffected by my scornful gaze, she continued to talk in her usual tone. “But still, they’re dreams, right? You can remember them?”

“Did you forget about my absolute memory?”

I could never forget my innate ability. 

I could absolutely never forget even the smallest, most trivial of details. As long as I saw or heard it a single time, I would remember it forever. The socks I wore on the fifth of April when I was five years old, the number of times I sneezed on the tenth of October when I was ten years old- I remembered anything and everything as well as I remembered last night’s dinner.

So naturally, I remembered the scenes from my dreams, but on account of what I’d seen, I couldn’t feel at ease.

“That’s not what I meant. I was just commenting on how you’re like a superhuman,” Yuuka said with narrowed eyes. She probably meant something harmless, like ‘Oh, I’m so jealous of your memory,’ or ‘It’s so amazing how you know things ordinary people can’t,’ or maybe ‘You’re full of surprises,’ but her perfectly normal words stirred up my awful persecution complex.

“Don’t make me out as a monster.”

“I didn’t mean to. But normally, people don’t remember their dreams.”

She was alluding to the fact that people had four or five dreams every night. Except, the next morning, they would remember one or two at most. And by evening, humans would forget almost all of the fantasies that their brain had conjured up the night before.

I didn’t forget.

Because my memory was perfect.

Dreams were no exception.

“…Aya-chan, you’ve changed.”

“Is that so.”

“Before, you never would’ve never objected to being made out as a monster.”

That was true.

Even if their words hurt, I never told others to view me as human.

“I thought you didn’t care about people’s opinions about you.”

Well… I wasn’t sure if Yuuka qualified as a person, but her words were on point.

I never bothered trying to understand what others were thinking, and I had less confidence in myself than anyone else. I had given up on living, existing only as a heartless monster who easily trampled over the feelings of others.

However.

I had decided to put that to an end.

I didn’t know, nor did I really care, about what the trigger for such a decision had been, but surely it was because I had to change.

“You’ve gotten weaker, Aya-chan. Congratulations,” Yuuka said with a smile that bore no malice.

What was with that ambiguous phrasing…

The Twenty-Eighth of October A

Question: What day of the week comes four days after the last Monday of this week, as well as three days before the first Wednesday?

Answer: Tuesday. However, there are seven of them total. 

Midterms were over. Obviously, ridiculous questions like the one above didn’t appear on the test.

Once more, I had successfully protected my status as a top scorer. Perhaps this might come as a surprise, but as I had zero sociability skills, test results were a matter of life and death. As I had discovered previously to my great amazement, achieving high test results came with immeasurable side benefits.

On one of those Wednesdays after class, lightly colored clouds crowded out the sky while a humidity that almost clung to one’s skin permeated the air. I stood to the side of the entrance, waiting for Michiru.

We’d made plans to walk home together, but she hadn’t come out of the staff room yet.

For almost an entire week, Michiru had refused to even acknowledge her midterm grades, and was now on the receiving end of the homeroom teacher’s harsh scolding.

I stood on the cold, clinical linoleum floor, leaning against the wall as I waited. The staff room entrance wasn’t exactly the most popular gathering place for students, almost entirely devoid of life. The shoerack next to me was as depressing as the rest of the place, and I could barely concentrate on the paperback book in my hands. The frigid atmosphere reached from outside all the way inside the school building.

I somehow figured that the time spent waiting for a person dear to me should’ve felt warmer, but now that we were this deep into gloomy autumn, it wasn’t exactly my fault.

And even though no one was criticizing me for wishing Michiru would hurry up and leave the staff room, I felt compelled to shift the blame onto the weather. I pouted my lips.

“Sorry for making you wait.”

As I was busy sulking around like a child, Michiru returned.

“How’d it go?”

“I somehow managed to avoid getting remedial lessons!”

She skipped cheerfully down the hall, filled with pride as if she’d just won a court case. Swept up in her mood, I felt like celebrating with her, but I felt uncomfortable at the thought that she’d narrowly avoided failing marks. Speaking of which, her grades hadn’t been nearly as bad in the spring. They’d definitely dropped recently.

“But if you fail the finals, we’ll lose our entire winter break together,” I said teasingly.

“Did you… see what happened in there?” Michiru’s face reddened.

“Nope. But waiting here was boring.”

“I said I was sorry…”

I rarely went on the offensive, so Michiru was understandably distressed. How devious of me.

The warm, affectionate mood was dissipating, fast. I needed a follow-up for my teasing. What should I say?

“Um, so… waiting wasn’t so bad, even if it was boring. But if you do badly on the next test… that, will be bad, right?”

Doing badly is bad... I was babbling like an idiot.

“So, um… for the finals, d-do you want to study together?”

What incredibly calculating, aggressive words.

I was such a calculating, aggressive person, wasn’t I? I was disgusted at my own self.

I had nonchalantly seized the initiative and cunningly crafted plans all by myself. Appearing to consider the other party’s needs, in reality only thinking about myself. I’d been insolent. Of course she’d see through my deceit. She’d scorn me.

Fearfully, timidly, I peeked at Michiru.

“-mrgh-“

She was hugging me. What the heck. I’d only managed a brief glance, but I saw that Michiru was blushing.

Why…?

“M-Michiru…?”

“Ayaka!”

I-I was being constricted…

Something had happened. What kind of magic was this?

“You’re too cute!”

“What do you mean…”

“You’re- so- illegally- cute! Let’s study lots!”

Our cheeks rubbed together- even hugs I’d seen in Western movies were nowhere as feverish as this- and I felt myself grow dizzy while a pleasant scent wafted around me.

The illegal one was definitely her. Expressing her feelings in such a straightforward way. I’d never manage something like that. But, teasing Michiru was unexpectedly fun. Maybe I should keep doing it.

Recently, Michiru had been aggressively seeking skinship. Ever since the cultural festival, the distance between us had rapidly shrunk. It felt bizarre. Admittedly, I still remembered that day filled with unease, and welcomed what Michiru sought from me… or rather, I didn’t hate it.

As I grappled with the odd feeling, the two of us changed shoes and headed outside.

The leaves hadn’t quite changed color yet, with most of foliage still a lush green. The chilly, mid-autumn wind brushed against my flushed cheeks, making it seem colder than it already was.

“It’s so cold… it’s so cold, Michiru.”

I tried my hardest to act spoiled. I was acting soft and spoiled, but using every ounce of my fiber to do so.

“It’s only October though?”

“According the chinese seasonal calendar, this time of year would be called the frost season. It’s when frost forms. So, yeah, that’s why.”

“It’s ’cause you don’t have any fat, Ayaka. No wonder you’re cold then!”

Michiru pressed close against me, wrapping her arms around my sides.

“H-hey! Don’t touch me in weird places.”

“Hmm, I wonder if this fat can withstand the frost season…”

“I can’t tell if you’re complimenting or insulting me!”

“Obviously I’m complimenting you.”

After Michiru had enjoyed my sides to her satisfaction, she released me, taking two quick steps away, as if dancing.

She was kind, lively, and had many friends. My exact opposite.

She didn’t have the slightest qualms with touching others. 

But, she never felt distant. 

Because she always stayed within arm’s reach, never leaving me.

“Hey, Michiru.”

“Yeah?”

“Can we hold hands?”

In a fluid motion, she took my outstretched hand. 

Once that happened, neither of us could look the other in the eye. I knew that both of us were blushing, but we resumed the conversation as if nothing had changed. Ours was a relationship built on a miraculous balance.

-Let’s call each other by our first names.

My heart had throbbed then.

A pulse so strong it hurt.

That pleasant hurt continued even now.

My never-dulling memories recalled the throbbing of my heart from back then. Blood rushed from every part of my body and back so rapidly that I almost wondered whether my lifespan shrunk every time that memory resurfaced.

From that moment on, I stopped calling her Inaba-san. And I was no longer called Aizawa-san.

I think that was the moment our relationship explicitly changed.

I didn’t know if our changing relationship had caused us to address each other differently, or the other way around, but I didn’t mind not knowing which it was.

It was the frost season, that stretch of time immediately following the end of midterm exams.

The Twenty-Eight of October B

You’re probably aware of this already, but the world repeats itself.

This was the second iteration of the twenty-eight of October.

Yesterday was also the twenty-eight of October.

According to the common sense of the world, the same day only ever comes once. That’s why one must spend each and every irreplaceable day living without regrets. …or so goes the accepted rationale.

But if you asked me, all of that was entirely wrong, and each day repeated so many times that I was entirely disgusted with it all. Specifically, days repeated five times on average. However, only the events of one day would be chosen, and I didn’t know which day that would be. Humans were only gifted memories of that chosen day, while all other days became nothingness.

Which is why I had to ensure that every single day would turn out well.

For instance, I needed to score full marks on every single repeated test day. Otherwise, the day on which I’d cut corners might be chosen. And at that point, I wouldn’t be able to complain.

I couldn’t spend a day in idleness. Because while I could remember everything, I couldn’t return to yesterday as long as I didn’t possess something as absurd as magic.

I mentioned this already, but I never forgot things I’d seen or heard once. That was simply how I was born.

Neither of my parents had recognized that.

They’d refused to acknowledge my claims, calling me a liar, but I couldn’t change my behavior. I used memories of days that hadn’t been chosen, uttering prophecies. I predicted people’s actions in advance, achieving high grades on tests in school.

My daughter is incredible.

How badly I wanted to hear those words.

As a result of my actions, I drove my mother into a corner.

–You must be a witch.

I clearly remember her trembling voice. I couldn’t forget.

I wanted my parents to recognize me for who I was.

I didn’t need anything else.

And my sole wish was fulfilled in the most ironic sense.

In our cramped garden, they constructed a detached building, quarantining their daughter. Thus, my claims were recognized, and I was treated as a witch.

At that time, I was resentful. Thinking back on it now, well, I understood where they were coming from. Their young daughter uttered baseless statements about a repeating world, bringing up promises that they had never made- of course they’d treat them as lies. And yet the daughter said everything with a dead serious expression, refusing to rectify her behavior no matter how many times she was scolded, and finally, they brought her to the hospital but even the doctor gave up after finding nothing wrong, at which point they were out of options.

At that time, I was undoubtedly a witch..

Thus, I slept and woke in my cramped, makeshift building, even to this day. I had a carefree lifestyle, but the building lacked insulation, so summers were hot and winters were cold. In other words, rather inadequate living conditions. Elderly people should empathize me. Because in terms of bodily experience, I was over seventy-five years old.

By the way, aging five times faster than normal takes its toll on one’s mental.

Instead of waiting outside the staff room as I’d done yesterday, I was standing in front of the art room’s entrance.

I roughly knew when she’d be back, so I figured I’d spend my time somewhere that wasn’t the cold, lifeless corridor.

When I stepped into the room, the person inside turned to look at me.

“Aizawa-san, you came! Please teach me today as well!”

“…sure, I guess.”

Hamano Aria was alone, and once she spotted me, ran up to me with the zeal of a clingy puppy.

After the cultural festival, we’d briefly talked. Two weeks had passed since. I never would have dreamed that she’d become this friendly.

“Are you alone? Where’s the club president?”

“The weather doesn’t look great, so everyone left early.”

Apparently, they wanted to get home before a full-blown storm erupted. Hamano seemed dissatisfied.

“You’re quite passionate, aren’t you.”

“I want to git gud!” Hamano declared, exhaling deeply from her nose. 

I didn’t mean any rudeness, but her phrasing and pronunciation was too funny. I couldn’t help but be reminded of that awful meme. (T/N: the japanese pun isn’t much better)

“Please teach me!”

“Alright, I get it, I get it.”

This week, I’d visited the art room several times already and talked to Hamano.

To put our former antagonism in the past had been difficult, but we talked and painted together as if it’d all been forgotten.

“How do I create something like that?”

Hamano gestured at a unique crack in an old painting. 

“That’s not a texture you can just paint. Paint only cracks like that after five hundred years of aging.”

Currently, Hamano area of study was centered around a painting I’d painted a long time ago. Now, it was a piece I was pretty embarrassed about though.

“So, how would you do it, Aizawa-san?”

“I’d bake it in an oven.” 

Hamano’s eyes became saucers. She stiffened, her mouth hanging halfway open. I found her appearance a little comical.

“Bake it one hour at around 100 degrees, and if you’re careful, small cracks will appear on the paint, which is the result you see.”

The ignition point of paper was 450 degrees, while it was 200 degrees for, so as long as one carefully oversaw the temperature, the technique in question wasn’t particularly difficult.

It was originally developed as a forgery technique, but as long as you didn’t try and sell a painting as an original, it was one-hundred percent legal. In the past, I’d done a fair bit of research into it when I’d thought about achieving financial independence, so I knew all about it.

“Amazing! Aizawa-san, you know everything!”

I don’t know everything though…

Perhaps I did understand finer details better than others.

But my cheap, superficial knowledge would never beat her passion. Ever. One day, this petite artist would surpass me. My natural born ability of never forgetting would ultimately be overcome by her sheer dedication and hard work. 

I couldn’t wait to see that day. I was deeply moved by Hamano and held no regrets in helping her.

“Aizawa-san, can I ask one more thing?”

“What?”

I supposed she wanted to know something else about the painting.

Since I couldn’t imagine Hamano interested in anything else.

“You’re really close with Inaba-san, right?”

The question came from left field.

“I-I guess you could say that…”

“You don’t have to play dumb. The whole school knows at this point.”

The whole school? And besides, look who was talking.

But Hamano wasn’t done with her inquiry, her next question even more unexpected than the last.

“Are you lovers?”

“…”

We’re not, I tried to say, but not a single sound came out. I was at a dead loss for words.

I’d never thought about that before… who was I kidding. If I hadn’t, I would’ve been able to respond to Hamano or dodge the question.

“Why, do you ask?”

In other words, I’d thought about it before.

And not just once or twice, I continuously pondered that question on a daily basis. What was Michiru’s and my relationship?

“Peop- …um, someone was talking about how you and Michiru were dating.”

Hamano had originally meant to say ‘people.’

So people were gossipping about us…?

Exactly who did ‘people’ refer to? How many? Hamano’s close friends? Hamano’s class? Was it such a hot topic that people from other classes were talking about it?

“Dating… …”

“…?”

Hamano tilted her head. Rather adorably, might I add.

Her wide eyes stared directly at me.

“It’s not like we’re not, but…”

But neither one of us had explicitly said it out loud. I could only weak move my mouth.

I thought of us as best friends.

But, best friends didn’t normally kiss each other.

Which, we had done…

And not just once.

At first, I’d been on the receiving end, and then on a different day, I’d been the one to…

“So which one is it!?”

It seemed like Hamano wouldn’t accept my half-baked answers.

“…I don’t know.”

I didn’t know what our relationship was.

I hadn’t made it clear.

It was a realization that sent chills down my spine.

For all this time, had I been unknowingly hurting Michiru?

Now that I was thinking about it, I realized that I had never spoken the words I love you to her, nor had she said them to me. I was aghast.

You’re kidding… a mumble escaped from within my chest. Without even a confession, feelings of love could only remain vague and indefinite. But we kissed. While swept up in the mood. Had we simply gone about it in the sloppiest way possible?

“You don’t know? Even though this is about you?” Hamano said peevishly. “Fine. You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.”

Beneath the gloomy, cloudy evening sky which marked the inevitable rain, inside the art room, Hamano sulked, pouting her lips.

The Twenty-Eighth of October C

Ever since I was young, I didn’t have friends.

Everyone eventually grew distant. 

Meanwhile, I could do everything.

Jumprope, cat’s cradle, I could do anything and everything extraordinarily well.

Chores, studying, I could break down and learn anything and everything.

Do that, teach me this, I responded to everyone’s demands, whatever they might be. I happily obeyed. Not just children, but even adults acknowledged my superiority. But as I continued to oblige, I eventually reached a point where I was alone.

–What the heck, how can she do literally anything…

–That’s really weird…

In the end, it all turned out the same.

Ever since I grew accustomed to their bitter words and suspicious stares, I remember wearing a mask of indifference.

A mask made of ice.

It was heavy and cold, but at least it was no longer agonizing. I had grown numb to sensation.

To the taste of loneliness, to what it meant to be sought after by others.

I even forgot that I was lonely.

Even though I shouldn’t be able to forget anything, it was Michiru who let me remember what I had lost- of all the sensations that I had resolved to ignore.

That’s why I wanted to become human. In the three weeks following the cultural festival, I painstakingly tried to change myself.

The latter half of lunch break in the classroom.

“Ayaka, want to come?”

“Yeah.”

Led by Michiru’s hand, I joined the group.

Fukayasu Natsume- Fukayasu-san, and two others she was close with. Miki-san and Sasaki-san. The latter half of lunch break, and while they shared photos on SNS and talked about sweet shops, they also clutched english vocabulary flashcards in their hands. This school put a decent amount of emphasis on good results, which is probably why they were preparing for the afternoon quiz.

Our gazes clashed as three pairs of eyes simultaneously looked at me.

It reminded me of Huntington’s Clash of Civilizations theory.

For a just split second, I felt the tension flare, but it wasn’t something I concerned myself with. After all, I was essentially a complete stranger in their friend group, so they were naturally wary.

“Heyo!” Michiru waved amiably.

“I feel like I always see you two together.” After carefully observing the two of us, Fukayasu-san smiled wryly. “Intimacy is a beautiful thing, isn’t it.”

Sasaki-san spoke her assent while Miki-san nodded. “Seems that way.”

It was like I was auditioning for a play. I firmly held back any self-deprecating thoughts and responded with a careful smile. …As well as I could smile, I guess.

Fukayasu-san motioned for me to take a seat, giving me a broad grin. “Aizawa, you look happy.”

“You’re too good at reading me.”

After Michiru sat down, I felt my posture relax.

“Heh heh heh, don’t pretend. Midterms, right?”

“Ah…”

Fukuyasu-san was talking about my midterm results from last week.

I hadn’t heard anyone mention them apart from Yuuka, so I didn’t know how they’d spread so far in this short time.

“What kinda brain you got in that head?” Fukayasu-san bantered.

She was deliberately trying to break the ice for me, and I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed.

“The test was just too easy,” I joked back, and the others giggled in response.

I was extremely unpopular among the teachers, so if I didn’t do well on tests, my school life would quickly turn into misery. I wouldn’t have much fun during classes, to say the least.

Luckily, there teachers who let me off the hook because of my scores, or those who respected students’ autonomy, so they didn’t say anything.

On the other hand, there were also passionate teachers who wanted to train character alongside brains, as well as enemies of students who idiotically believed that hard work transcended all. Just thinking about them made me despondent.

“Jeez. Was it Yano-chan from the class next door who was shouting out the window?” said Fukayasu-san, smiling.

She was talking about an event that occured on the Monday of this week. During lunch break at around 12:30, it was reported that several students’ voices could be heard from outside the window. As they were shouting ‘How! Why!’, the disturbance was dubbed the ‘How-Why Incident.’

The main culprit behind it was Yano-san from the class next to ours.

“Poor girl.”

The fact that she couldn’t achieve full marks wasn’t my fault. If I were a witch, then I wouldn’t mind her blaming everything my curses. Her oversleeping, spilling her money right in front of the convenience store counter, her undesired grades. But I’d decided to quit being a witch. So it was troubling that she was now faulting me. 

“But still, I did super good this time. I didn’t just not fail, I got average!” Fukuyasu-san exclaimed.

Sasaki-san interrupted. “That’s not exactly something to be proud of?”

Fukayasu-san countered while adjusting her seat. “It is! ‘Cause I got to talk to Aizawa-san as a result!”

“We are blessed. We are blessed,” Sasaki-san and Miki-san chanted, clapping their hands together as if praying. They wore reverent expressions. Their charade made me exceedingly uncomfortable.

On the other side, Michiru remained oblivious. “I wouldn’t expect any less!” 

Any less of what, exactly…? I had no idea.

“You should study harder though,” Fukayasu-said. 

“But cramming all night is bad for my skin!”

At Fukayasu-san’s composed straight-man act, Michiru brought up a completely unreasonable protest.

“Then study regularly… although I guess that’s not something I can say. But speaking of skin, the super-goddess-prodigy Aizawa’s skin is super pretty… what time do you sleep?”

10pm, I wanted to reply immediately. I didn’t want to make it seem like a big deal. That way, they’d be a little surprised, then the conversation would continue to flow naturally.

But when I noticed Michiru’s presence,

Are you lovers?

Hamano’s words echoed from the recesses of my memory. My thoughts were halted by her words for an instant. And in that instant was my last chance for an immediate reply to Fukayasu-san’s inquiry.

But I ended up saying nothing.

If I replied honestly, they might start to doubt how I didn’t study at all, so I was tempted to lie and adopt the character of the diligent student who stayed up until 2am every night, but then they might think of me as a nocturnal monster with perfect skin.

“Ayaka sleeps at 10pm. That’s the secret to perfect skin,” Michiru said.

“Wha-“

I wanted to clutch my head. I wouldn’t ever think about criticizing the innocently smiling Michiru. I hadn’t been able to respond, and Michiru had saved me. But, I was undeniably ill at ease. Perhaps noticing my dilemma, or perhaps not, Michiru happily began caressing my cheeks, cheerfully chanting ‘smooth skin! smooth skin!’

Michiru’s skin was extremely pretty, so I didn’t seen why she couldn’t just caress her own skin instead of mine. Actually, I wanted to touch them. I wonder if she’d let me if I asked…

“Hey-“

“Sleeping at 10pm isn’t exactly normal, is it?”

And obviously, she wasn’t implying that normal people slept at seven or eight o’clock. Though there wasn’t anything wrong with sleeping early. In fact, for most of human civilization, people have slept and risen with the sun- only with recent advancements of electric lighting had humans begun to sleep later and later past sunset.

“It’s not normal at all. Sleeping is a waste of precious time,” I said.

“But you have amazing test scores… that’s so unfair…”

Sasaki-san said, sounding jealous from the bottom of her heart, interrupting the flow of conversation.

The others were dumbfounded.

I understood how they felt. I slept at 10pm even while my test grades were flawless; they could only think that I was cheating in some way. As it was already, some students had already spread rumors that I bribed teachers and whatnot.

However, their dumbfoundedness was for a different reason.

“It’s so soft… I wanna keep touching forever.”

“Hey…? Michiru-san?”

“What?”

“Everyone’s watching, so… can you save that for when we’re alone?”

What was I saying.

I felt feverish, and couldn’t think straight anymore.

Uwah, my cheeks were being toyed with in front of other people… I can’t become a bridge anymore. Take responsibility for that… Idiotic thoughts floated through my brain.

“Ah, you’re right. Sorry!” Michiru obediently let go of my body.

Dubious stares peered at us from all directions.

Miki-san was the first to break the silence, cutting through the awkward atmosphere.

She spoke hesitantly, as if she wasn’t sure if asking was appropriate, but couldn’t contain her curiosity. 

“Are you two… um, dating?”

I paled.

D-da…t-ting…

It was as if a woodpecker was pecking my empty head over and over again, and all I could hear and feel were the revertebrations rippling through my skull.

Hamano had also asked, but the impact of Miki-san’s question was exponentially greater. Maybe because other people were around. Or maybe because she was the second person to ask. Perhaps some common event had led them both to ask the same thing?

“Ah… maybe I shouldn’t have asked?”

The mood changed. Everyone waited with bated breaths, watching intently to see what would happen next. 

I was afraid of doing something and raising suspicion, so I couldn’t even glance over at Michiru. I wondered what kind of expression she was making right now. Did she look disgusted? I imagined that my lifespan would decrease if I dwelled on that possibility too much.

It was like lying on a bed of nails. I felt noticeably conspicuous, as if I was some sort of suspect.

“We’re not.” Michiru answered brightly in an easy tone.

Drop it, she was clearly saying.

“You don’t have to hide it.” “We won’t look at you differently.” “Yeah, yeah!”

Fukayasu-san, Sasaki-san, and Miki-san spoke consecutively.

However.

“We’re just friends. Look, Ayaka looks distressed, so let’s just stop this conversation.” Michiru fired back with a reply that deserved full marks.

The recesses of my heart stung. Even though nothing about this conversation should’ve felt hurtful. That was irrefutable evidence that I’d been hoping for something. This feeling that I’d just been betrayed must’ve been because I’d been hoping for something.

Being suspected was nothing new. And Michiru denying those accusations was also a common occurrence. But this time, I had felt unusually unhappy. I was was filled with a sense of displeasure, resembling irritation.

“Right, Ayaka?”

“Sure.” The voice that rose from my lips was so monotonous that it even surprised me.

What was I to Michiru?

After class.

At the usual, today’s clouds were heavy and dense, while the bone-chilling air smelled of rain.

I planned to head back to the staff room to wait for Michiru so that we could walk home together.

“Go home ahead of me.”

However, Michiru’s behavior was different.

In all the previous todays, she’d asked me to wait for her.

“Why? I was going to wait for you.”

Maybe it had something to do with Miki-san’s dating comment?

Was she dwelling on that lunch incident, and thus distancing herself from me?

A brief stretch of silence followed.

“I have a feeling this might take while.”

“Deja vu?”

“…Yeah.”

I knew those words were a lie. In the past two todays, she hadn’t mentioned anything of the sort.

However.

“Alright. Then, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See ya.”

She was hiding something, and once again, my heart stung.

Everyone had one or two secrets they didn’t want anyone to find out about. Everyone did. As for me… I still hadn’t been able to tell Michiru. About my memory, about ever-repeating days. Technically, I’d told them to her, but those days hadn’t been chosen. If I really wanted her to know, I could simply confess over and over until one of those days was chosen. If I wanted her to understand, I could just repeat again and again. But, I didn’t. 

They were my secrets.

So I couldn’t blame her.

★

Two days in a row.

Hamano and Miki-san. Two individuals with no common ground, yet asked the same exact question.

Are you dating?

I had heard Miki-san’s thoughts loud and clear behind those words. 

Everyone knows it.

Michiru probably heard those thoughts as well.

So, Michiru distanced herself from me. Just a little. Just the tiniest amount, or so I wanted to believe.

Why did Miki-san ask something like that? I had thought it was for the same reason that Hamano asked, but perhaps the truth was much more obvious.

In other words, because my behavior had been different in relation to the first two todays.

As I walked back home from school along the familiar path, I ruminated on all the events of today.

The reason for my change in behavior was because of Hamano’s question, and the reason for Hamano’s question was probably due to to the way I normally behaved… in other words, you reap what you sow.

What did I want to become?

What did I want from Michiru?

I was unsure and unsteady, feeling uneasy.

I had so many years of experience, yet I couldn’t even answer questions as paltry as this.

Michiru always made me feel inexperienced. With her, I encountered so many new emotions and thrills.

I repeated, and repeated, repeating similar days again and again, aging mentally much more quickly than physically.

It wouldn’t be wrong to call me old.

The cycle of never-improving days had drastically aged my mind.

In particular, predetermined events and phenomenon like the weather and television broadcasts hardly ever changed, and their constant dull, repetition plagued me like some deadly poison. Amidst these repeating days, the only things that could change were vague, ambiguous things, like coincidences or people’s whims.

So if I hoped for change, I needed to create it myself.

As a result of leaving the school at an earlier time than previous todays, I came across an unforeseen scene once I reached home. Was it an inevitability, or just coincidence? I couldn’t know from just a single twenty-eight of October C.

I heard a voice from the main house’s front door.

“Thanks for today. It’s cold today, so make sure you take care.”

“Yup!”

Without really thinking, I hid. I concealed myself in the shadow of the front gate, concentrating intently as I eavesdropped on the conversation.

Someone was talking to someone else near the front door.

“Having you watch over her well-being is such a relief for me, Yuu-chan.”

“No problem. Leave it to me!”

That pompous voice was unmistakably Yuuka’s. I could picture her confident expression and her chest puffed out with pride as she talked. If Yuuka was the one talking, then the other person was…

“I’m really grateful… Take care.”

“Yup! See you next month!”

Yuuka’s footsteps sounded against the pavement, and a short while later, I heard the sound of the front door being closed. I heard Yuuka’s even footsteps- one step, two steps, but the third never came.

“What was that?” I folded my arms, blocking her way.

I stood face to face with Yuuka, who was wearing long pants and a shawl wrapped around her long cardigan.

“Geh! I’ve been discovered!”

She stood awkwardly, like a criminal caught red-handed, and I, the detective who caught her, exercised my authority.

“What were you doing in my house!”

Yuuka was simply meeting with my mother, the rational corner of my brain answered. Nothing wrong with that. Yuuka was free to enter and leave my house whenever.

I could also imagine their conversation. Yuuka had reported my behavior to my parents. Obviously. I’d find it troubling if she hadn’t.

But while I understood all that, that everything was perfectly normal, I was angry.

I think the part that irked me was that she had hidden it from me.

“I’m only going to ask you one more time. What were you doing over there?” I repeated my question. Trying to sound as forceful as possible to make it seem as if she had one last chance to explain herself. However, when I approached her, Yuuka avoided my eyes, still dodging my questioning.

“Um… nothing, really.”

“Hah?”

I looked at Yuuka, and when I thought about her freely entering the very same house I’d been banned from, my anger boiled.

“That’s obviously a lie. You were meeting with my parents, right?”

“I wasn’t cheating on you though?”

“Obviously!”

I really didn’t want to be arguing this loudly out on the lawn, but I simply couldn’t stand her indifferent attitude.

Even the thought that my mother might overhear us didn’t deter me. 

“Explain yourself. What were you talking about?”

“Nothing important, honestly. Last night’s dinner, your dreams… yeah, that. Look, can we go inside first? The sun’s setting, and you’ll catch a cold at this rate.”

Yuuka continued to dance around the point. Anyone could tell that she wasn’t being entirely honest.

“I told you to explain. Did you not hear me?”

Yuuka said nothing.

I had no intention of moving until she obliged.

So in response, Yuuka chose silence.

Apparently, she was exercising her right to remain silent.

“Is it something you can’t tell me?”

More silence.

I finally snapped.

Well, I had been fed up since the start, but even more so now!

“Eh? Ah-? Aya-chan!? Where are you going?”

You are reading story The Story of Unforgettable Witch at novel35.com

I turned my back to Yuuka and walked out the gate. 

If she wanted to be evade me, so be it. If she wanted to trick me and lie to me, fine. If she was going to use every last drop of effort to keep me in the dark, then I’d accept her commitment. I’d go along with her, allowing myself to be deceived.

However, if she was simply ignoring me, then that was a different story.

If she was treating me like a child, not caring enough to explain, then I wasn’t going to bother with her.

“Aya-chan, wait. C’mon. I’m sorry, okay?”

Even though I’d made a show of leaving the gate, I didn’t actually have anywhere to go. Still, I kept walking. Glaring at my shoes, I continued to stalk forward. My back turned to Yuuka, as if I were fleeing.

Past homes, apartments, flower shops and bakeries, cleaning stores, general stores, scenery of my hometown flew past me.

Eventually, with nowhere to go, I found myself at the park around twenty minutes away from my home. In Konohana City, a plot of land near the high school had been transformed into a public park, with both a waterside area and a large playing field for sporting events. There were expansive, well-maintained fields, trees that provided shade, and an outer track for running. In addition, it was equipped with a gym, an indoor pool, and even a community center. I didn’t have any business there today though.

I settled down on one benches overlooking the playing field, trying to calm my breathing, ragged from speed-walking all this way.

“Hey, Aya-chan? Let’s go back, okay?”

Yuuka had followed me from home, and sat down beside me. Unlike me, she wasn’t even out of breath.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m not.”

It was the last week of October, and sunset was drawing close. It was freezing.

“Aya-chaaan, I don’t want you to catch a fever and feel miserable.”

I almost never saw Yuuka flustered to this extent. For now, I’d leave her to flounder around by herself for a while.

Yuuka, changing tactics again and again, tried to placate me. 

First, by sweet talking. “You’re so cute when you’re angry! I wanna kiss your pouty lips!”

Then praise. “You had a test last week, right? And you got full marks, right? You’re not just cute, you’re also so smart!”

She tried to reel me in with material goods. “I should reward you! Wanna go shopping this weekend? I’ll buy you anything.”

Here was a model example of a useless adult who couldn’t take a firm stance against her child. 

It was pitiful. I thought about the fact that my current life and well-being relied upon this woman in front of me. It was so pitiful I wanted to disappear. Why was I reliant on someone like her…

“A mountain!”

“A-a mountain!?”

“Buy me a mountain! Like one of those plateaus in Hokkaido or Kyuushuu, with pastures that stretches as far as the eye can see!”

“Pastures!?”

“You’ll buy me anything, right? Buy me a relaxing life on a pasture!”

“That’s, really…”

Yuuka was completely flabberghasted by my absurd demand. Realizing that I was beyond reasoning, she stood up from the bench, arched her back, and trudged off somewhere, leaving my sights.

Why was I like this?

I was being childish. Conduct not even befitting a high schooler. Only my body had grown, while the rest of me was like a kindergartener.

I hadn’t become sincere, I hadn’t become an adult.

I had tried to change.

I thought I had changed.

I had believed that the encounter in the spring had changed me. I’d believed it until seconds ago. That frozen time had thawed, and that I’d finally grown. 

I was wrong. I was too naive. People didn’t change that easily. Even for humans, creatures filled with potential, change was difficult. So for an aged witch like me, it was nigh impossible.

I remembered the taste of reality’s cruelty, what they called ‘hardship.’

Perhaps nothing had changed, ever since that time I had refused to compromise with reality. Just by thinking about it, I found myself staring at decades of resignation. Give up on everything, it whispered. If you don’t expect anything, you’ll never be hurt again. Sweet, alluring words. 

“Oh, Aya-chan?”

I looked up, only to find that Yuuka had returned, a carefree smile dancing across her lips. 

“H-here, I bought you a steamed pork bun. Eat it while it’s still hot.”

The pork bun was still steaming hot. It was bigger than the palm of my hand and looked tender, warm, and so irresistibly delicious that I felt myself drooling. It was the poison that dissolved my hardened heart.

“A-ah…”

“Aw, come on now. A young girl like you shouldn’t cry in public.”

“I’m not crying.”

Here I was, no different than a bratty child, yet she had patiently endured my tantrum and continued to care for me.

I’d hurt her, troubled her, stubbornly refused to concede even a single inch, acting in a way completely unbefitting of someone my age, but Yuuka had readily accompanied me all this way without complaint.

So perhaps this time, I should get off my high horse and try to reach an agreement with her.

As I began to reconsider my actions, Yuuka opened her mouth.

“I like it when you resist. It makes me want to ravage you even more.”

I take back everything. She was truly awful.

“Let go. Don’t touch me.”

And that’s how I ran away from home.

Where was I headed? There was only one place to go.

☆

Michiru’s house was three stops away from the train station near Konohana High School.

There was a big fuss.

“I’m home! Did I hear correctly that my Michiru brought a friend over?”

“Alright dad, I get it already.”

Was it really that out of the ordinary? Michiru was friendly with everyone, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had friends over all the time.

But, I recalled her telling me during the rainy season. That all the way up to middle school, she’d been a rather gloomy, reserved child. Though looking at her now, I couldn’t imagine that.

“My Michiru has grown up!”

After running away from home, and shaking off Yuuka, I only had one place left to turn.

Cheerful laughter rang throughout the neat kitchen which doubled as a dining room and the connected living room. As expected of Michiru’s parents. It our first meeting, but they didn’t hold back.

Their home was completely different from my cramped room. The kitchen island glistened and the high cabinets were stocked full with bowls and plates. The refrigerator was huge too. Unused to the lavishishness, I meekly let myself be guided towards a soft, fluffy sofa. A-anyhow, I had to thank them for their hospitality…

“You’re that Ayaka-chan, right?”

“T-thank-“

“You know, Mi-chan always talks about you nonstop all the time.”

“Oi, you two!”

As I began to talk with her parents, Michiru burst out, flustered.

“Michiru can be quite frivolous at times. I hope she isn’t causing you any trouble, Ayaka-chan.”

“Tha-“

“We really appreciate you being friends with Mi-chan.”

Thank you for your hospitality. Those words felt so out of reach.

I will say that I never felt shy or afraid no matter who I was talking to.

It was just that the thought of talking to Michiru’s parents made me uncharacteristically cautious. Besides, both her parents talked so quickly that I barely had time to squeeze in a ‘yes’ or ‘I see’ between their comments.

“My parents are a little strange. Don’t mind them.”

“…”

A little? 

“I’m guessing you’re staying overnight? I don’t mind, but don’t you have school tomorrow?” Michiru’s father asked.

“It should be fine. I’ll stop by my house tommorow morning.”

“That works!” Michiru’s father nodded enthusiastically. Once, then again as if he understood even more, then a third time. 

“Alright, I’ll go make dinner.” Michiru’s mother waved and headed towards the kitchen. I quickly got up and followed her. 

At the very least, I wanted to help. Also, a small part of me admittedly wanted to try cooking in this kitchen. Just a tiny bit. 

“What do you want to eat, Ayaka-chan? Oh, I know, I’ll make sushi!”

“Um, excuse me…”

“Hm?”

Her sparkling eyes waited for my next words.

“Thank you for everything. Especially after I suddenly barged in without warning.”

“No problem at all! You’re Mi-chan’s precious friend, which means you’re precious to us as well.”

I was taken aback by how earnest her response was.

Her father, who bluntly said whatever was on his mind, and her mother, who treated me with such kindness and warmth. Michiru truly embodied the two of them.

A daughter raised by both parents. Currently, that daughter was standing a little to the side at a loss, her mouth half open as if she wanted to protest against what her parents were saying.

Michiru had a good family. I felt a twinge of jealously.

I borrowed their bath, bought a pair of underwear from the convenience store, and Michiru lended me pajamas.

It was probably due to the shampoo and fabric softener, but I became distinctly aware of the fact that my whole body smelled like Michiru. For some incomprehensible reason, I found my heart racing.

Michiru’s room on the second floor was crammed with her belongings. There was a foldable table, a bed, and a futon had been spread out for me to sleep in tonight. She had a ton of girlish accessories, as well as furniture, curtains, and cutely colored objects. It was a direct contrast to my room, a monotonous, bleak hovel which surpassed the meaning of ‘plain.’

As I gazed at the aroma candle atop the table, I decided to venture a question. “So, your mother calls you Mi-chan?”

“Ever since I was little. My grandmother and uncles and aunts too. I don’t get why they refuse to drop that name.”

Having just come from the bath, Michiru’s hair was down, and her pretty skin particularly stood out, almost seeming to glow.

She sat down on the bed, hugging a cushion to her stomach, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment as she explained.

“Probably because it’s cute,” I commented.

I took a seat in front of the table, facing Michiru.

“That’s not the point! At this rate, I’ll still be Mi-chan when I turn into an old lady!”

“That won’t happen for decades. No point in worrying about it now.”

“Hmm, I guess so. But it’ll happen eventually.”

Michiru sounded convinced, but I wasn’t so sure.

It’ll happen eventually. Michiru wasn’t wrong, but I couldn’t begin to imagine what Michiru and I would look like in the distant future. Given that I thoroughly remembered everything from the day I was born, this much I knew. I knew what the passage of time could do. When each minute seemed to stretch for eternity, when tomorrow wouldn’t arrive even as the poison of tedium pervaded one’s entire body- I knew that cruelty well.

“Can I call you Mi-chan too?”

“Never!”

I said it as a joke, but to my surprise, her refusal was adamant.

“Why’s that?”

“…If you’re asking me that, would you let me call you Aya-chan?”

Ah. That was…

I instantly understood.

I hated Aya-chan. It reminded me too much of that woman.

Besides, I liked how we were currently. How I called her Michiru, and she Ayaka. 

“Fair enough. I understand. I’ll stop it now.”

“Appreciate it.”

A satisfied smile crept up Michiru’s face. 

“Ayaka, you’re so meek. You don’t have to be so nervous around my parents, you know.”

“Of course I’m going to be polite.”

“It’s fiiine. My parents love you.”

“It seems like you’ve been talking about me behind my back.” In a good way, of course.

I wondered what she’d told them.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious, but she obviously wasn’t saying anything negative. I’d never felt so welcome anywhere else. Especially not after suddenly entering unannounced.

Most of the time, I was shunned as opposed to welcomed, so a large part of me felt bewildered at the current situation.

“Michiru, you’re pretty used to this sort of stuff, right?”

“What, sleepovers?”

“Yeah.”

But I was well aware that it was my ability which had led to me being shunned. 

“It’s my first time. Inviting someone over for a sleepover.”

I averted myself from the memories of a day that hadn’t been chosen, and pretended to not know.

“Oh… really? That’s surprising.”

“Yeah. …Um, up to middle school, I was a little different from how I am now.”

“You were?”

“Yeah. Compared to now, I think, I was a little gloomier.”

On that rainy season day which hadn’t been chosen, she had confessed this very story, which I was now hearing again.

I listened to her speak about what I already knew. It wasn’t strange. I experienced events from an unchosen past on a daily basis.

Like the second showing of a play, our present words melded with a forgotten day from the past.

“There’s no way.”

“That’s because I changed when I entered high school.”

“Was it because you entered high school?”

“Well, it’s a bit different, I guess.”

Though some words and phrases were slightly changed, the overall feeling was exactly the same.

“It was because I came to know what the afternoon weather would be.”

Michiru was admirable. She continued to speak about her personal experience, believing that I wanted to know.

Meanwhile, I sincerely wanted to support her.

“Just thinking about the fact that you alone know something that no one else knows- it’s like you’re invincible, right?” I repeated the words that her former self had once said. 

Michiru was dumbstruck.

“Yes! That! That’s exactly what I wanted to say!”

I couldn’t endure it for another second.

It was like doing well on a test by cheating.

What I was doing right now was no different than intruding into Michiru’s mind. Which, more or less, wasn’t too different from what I normally did, but now that Michiru was the target, my heart wrenched in pain. I knew at once that my conscience was crying out.

“So that’s why you called out to me?”

“…No, I think that was for a different reason.”

Her momentary hesitation must’ve been to sort out her complicated emotions. 

“I just felt like I had to do it.”

Just as on that former, rainy day, her words carried the same inflection, her eyes bowed downwards in exactly the same manner, without a shred of self-confidence.

“The instant I saw your face, I just felt like I had to call out and become friends with you.”

“I see.”

No wonder it felt strange.

I didn’t want to be a romanticist, nor would I ever say out loud that our first meeting had been a result of fate, but at the same time, I didn’t hate that idea either. Even if our meeting had truly been fated, thereby proving the existence of fate, I didn’t mind.

For a short while, our conversation came to a pause, and a stillness settled throughout the room. Outside, past the curtains and windows, the sky was pitch black, with only the sounds of crickets breaking the silence. It was a comfortable quiet.

I wanted to abandon myself in that comfort forever, but we didn’t have that much time. Not yet.

I walked over and sat down beside Michiru.

“Sorry for barging in all of a sudden today,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s totally fine.”

“Are you going to ask me about what happened?”

“Only if you want to talk about it.” The tenderness of Michiru’s voice made my back tingle. 

I was overwhelmed with gratitude, delight, emotions too large to comprehend, and I couldn’t look at her straight.

“Am I causing trouble for you?”

“No, I was just surprised when you arrived so abruptly, that’s all.”

“Sorry about that…”

In a forced motion, Michiru drew her body towards me.

And in the most Michiru-esque way possible, spoke her next words so sincerely and straight-forwardly without a trace of jest.

“Besides, I don’t mind it when you cause trouble for me, Ayaka.”

“Thanks, Michiru…”

In response, I leaned towards her as well. In the cold autumn night, we shared each other’s warmth.

Now was the time for me to confess.

About my memories. About how each day repeated. Now was the time to talk.

However.

“I promise I’ll find a way to return your kindness.” I couldn’t say it.

“Hehe, so you’re the type of person to make those kinds of promises.” 

Because I was scared.

I was scared of being scorned. I was scared that the innocently laughing girl from yesterday would grow to fear me. After all, I knew things about people that they themselves didn’t even know. Who wouldn’t be disgusted by someone like that?

“What do you mean?”

I never forget the tiniest details.

I knew what would happen each day.

Like anyone else, Michiru must have things she didn’t want others to know, or things she was hiding. If she learned my secret, would she fear that I might expose them in one of these ever-repeating days?

“You’re like one of those rival characters, Ayaka-kun.” 

“Really? I thought you we were accomplices.”

Because I could never forget.

I couldn’t forget no matter how much the others around me wanted me to forget.

Because this world repeats.

There was always the looming possibility that I might bring up secrets that people had never divulged. Such tragic accidents, histories that should have disappeared, my memories would carry all of that into eternity.

“You’re right! We’re best friends!” she declared brightly, without a trace of suspicion. Michiru trusted me from the bottom of her heart.

What else was I to do but return a half-hearted chuckle?

“We’re best friends, Ayaka! So even if I hadn’t told you today, I would’ve told you eventually.”

Our sleepover was one of the best experiences of my life.

When I saw Michiru having so much fun, I could even forget the passage of time, and focus on our time together. Not to mention the fact that I was spending time alone with her at her house.

Michiru let me try her handcreams that she liked, and of course we talked extensively, we laughed, and spent our time together in bliss.

I wanted to have daily sleepovers if I could spend each day like this. Maybe next time, I could invite Michiru to my house…

The only reason I could think like that was because the clock hadn’t ticked 12:00am yet.

“We’d better sleep now…”

“Ehh, it’s only ten though?” Michiru protested.

In just a short while, I would be assaulted by the usual unbearable urge to sleep. I had never been successful in staying awake, regardless of how much I napped during the day, or how much coffee I drank at night.

“Unlike you, I’m not a night owl,” I reminded her.

“…true. …I guess you’re right,” Michiru said reluctantly. I want to keep talking, keep playing, keep touching each other, her forlorn expression seemed to say.

“Then, how about we sleep together?” Michiru asked.

“Sure… sure?”

“Yay!”

Just now… what just…?

Sleep together? As in, together in the same futon, next to each other, my heart pounding, all the way to morning while we- there was no way I would be able to sleep in that situation. Though admittedly, that might be a way that I could stay awake past 12:00am, so maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea- no wait, what was I thinking? It was way too premature for us to be doing this sort of stuff. Way too premature.

“W-wait a sec. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Did you say sleep… together? Like, sleep side by side?”

A nod. “Yeah,” she said as-a-matter-of-factly as if it were no big deal. “Though the bed might be a little small for the two of us,” she said. In the exact same tone.

“…no thanks.”

“Why!?”

Our bodies had been pressed together for the entire night. I could sense even her smallest movement, taste the scent of her breath, feel her warmth. I’d definitely go crazy. When I imagined waking and seeing her sleeping face, my heart jumped uncontrollably.

“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. Look, the futon’s really fluffy.”

“Ayaka doesn’t want to sleep with me.”

I found my resolution crumbling at Michiru’s adorable pouting, but I couldn’t let myself be swayed.

“T-that’s not true…”

“Really? Will you let me hold your hand?”

“What for?”

“When you lie, you always squeeze your hands.”

I couldn’t exactly refuse her request. I gently extended my hand, our fingers probing for each other, and once again, for some incomprehensible reason, my heart raced. But I could only compromise this much. Sleeping together was too much to ask. We hadn’t even explicitly stated what our relationship was. I didn’t know what we thought of each other. So sleeping together in the same futon, for the entire night, was… s-s-shameless!

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“Ahaha, I figured. You were lying, weren’t you,” Michiru proclaimed, satisfied.

“I-I…” I stammered.

“Ayaka, your face is bright red.”

With her free hand, Michiru touched my forehead, checking for a fever. I couldn’t suppress my happiness- she’d asked to sleep together, even going so far as to concern herself with my health. But, her face was extremely close.

My face grew hotter, spots danced in my vision, and the clock was ticking down to midnight.

“Ayaka?”

All at once, everything seemed so far away. Strength left my body. My eyelids grew heavier, and heavier and heavier, until I couldn’t keep them open.

The world faded to black. I collapsed into her arms.

“Did you fall asleep?”

A tiny sound escaped my lips.

I tasted a delicious fragrance. It was sweet, fresh, comforting. It was soft and warm. It belonged to someone who accepted my everything, who affirmed my existence, who supported me.

In my dimmed consciousness, I was vaguely aware of Michiru moving my barely functioning body, spreading a blanket over me. The world moved increasingly further away. I didn’t have the will to resist.

But I wanted this moment to last, even for just one more second. I wanted to preserve this time into my memory forever.

“…Good night, Ayaka.”

A hand brushed away the hair from my forehead. Her arm moved past my eyelids, briefly blocking out the light, then the light returned, then it was dark again.

That was my last memory of the twenty-eighth of October C.

Ahh, I never wanted to leave this place.

I wanted to be together, forever…

-I didn’t want to leave and revisit that dream again.

The Twenty-Eight of October D

This day proceeded in much the same was as the twenty-eight of October A.

I waited for Michiru to return from the staff room, standing in the cold corridor.

“Sorry for making you wait.”

“How’d it go?” I greeted her with the same expression as last time.

“I somehow managed to avoid getting remedial lessons!”

I chose my words carefully, paying attention to my tone and gestures, replicating the first twenty-eight of October. Repeating the past was fine. It was easy. All I had to do was reenact the scenes from memory.

However, it didn’t go as planned.

“Hey, Ayaka.”

“Hm?”

“Since tests are over now…”

Removing my shoes from the shoerack, I glanced over at Michiru, uncharacteristically stumbling over her words.

“You didn’t get the most ideal scores though,” I joked.

“Ah… Um, s-setting that aside, um…” Her eyes darted back and forth, and her cheeks tinged with a slight pink, until she finally seemed to gather her resolution and stand up straight. “If you don’t mind. Want to have a sleepover?”

“A-a sleepover?”

The conversation changed.

Words that hadn’t been spoken a single time in the past three days suddenly flew forth.

“Yeah… do you not want to?”

“Not at all, but… on a weekday?”

“Ahah, I guess not now.”

I stared closely at Michiru’s innocently smiling face, who outwardly appeared to be relieved.

Did she remember? Yesterday…

“How about this weekend?”

“Sure.”

At any rate, I didn’t have plans this weekend.

“Woohoo! It’s a promise!” Michiru exclaimed, her voice echoing through the hallway.

Had the outcome of one day influenced another?

That couldn’t be possible.

I hadn’t experienced such an occurrence in all my seventy-five years of living. I could say that with absolute certainty.

So even if Michiru’s sleepover suggestion might have appeared to be influenced by yesterday, that couldn’t be anything more than a coincidence.

The Twenty-Ninth of October A

I opened my eyes first thing in the morning. The color of the ceiling was different.

So were the curtains. I fumbled around my sleepy thoughts, trying to locate the source of this irregularity.

The weight of the futon, the smell of the room, the quiet breathing of someone sleeping that I heard, were all different.

As if I’d become someone else.

Ah, that’s right. The twenty-eight of October C had been chosen. The day of the sleepover. The best day had been chosen. At the same time, I remembered that I was a human who couldn’t forget anything, and went by the name of Aizawa Ayaka.

Our promise had become no more…

Her voice still lingered in my ears.

Her request to hold hands, the conversation with Hamano, everything that had become no more.

It was fine.

I was accustomed to it.

Besides, they’d all been exchanged for the very best day, so I wasn’t in any position to complain.

Straining my ears, I could clearly make out her gentle, quiet breaths. The twenty-eight of October C, the day that had ended up in a sleepover after I’d barged into Michiru’s house, had been chosen.

It was time to live out the continuation of the yesterday I’d been granted.

Michiru’s mother saw us off at the entrance as we left for school.

I didn’t know how I should thank her properly for everything she’d done. I really appreciate you letting me stay over?

Had Michiru been in my position, she might’ve said something like that. 

Instead, I went with: “Um, I apologize for intruding so suddenly yesterday.”

Negative, retrospective words unbefitting of the pleasant morning. 

However, Michiru’s mother smiled. “‘Even a hunter won’t shoot a bird that seeks his help,’ as the proverb goes.”

I certainly wasn’t expecting those words.

Michiru looked a little troubled. “Mom, what are you saying?”

It was a proverb meaning that one should help those fleeing danger and seeking shelter.

“Ayaka-chan.”

“Yes.”

“In truth, yesterday, I received a call from your house. Your family apologized for the sudden intrusion, but asked for permission for you to stay the night.”

That was probably Yuuka.

Of course. She was an adult, so she had properly laid the groundworks for everything.

However, what if… I had to ask.

“Um… do you know who called?”

“It was your mother.”

I figured.

Yuuka had contacted my mother, and my mother contacted Michiru’s mother. They were adults, so they did everything the proper way.

Even when I stubbornly ran away from home, I was still dancing in the palms of their hands.

“Um, my mother… did she, say anything else…?”

“She was really worried. Whether we were being troubled, whether you were okay- she sounded extremely anxious. The first thing she said was that she’d come pick you up immediately.”

Michiru’s mother was misunderstanding the situation.

She probably thought that I had a fight with my parents and fled the house. That was correct. Halfway correct.

The true cruelty lay hidden in the other half.

“But I refused. I was excited at the prospect of having two daughters for a night.” Michiru’s mother smiled playfully.

It was like hundreds of marbles were rolling about in my chest.

I wanted to stay here longer, and I wanted to go home right away.

For the entire day, I couldn’t stop thinking about the chosen twenty-eight of October.

Hamano’s Are you lovers? question had hurdled into the next day, becoming Miki-san’s stimulating question of Are you two… um, dating?, altering the entire day’s flow. The altered flow had caused the fight between Yuuka and me, after which the sleepover had ensued.

A hectic day filled to the brim.

Even now, the softness of her pajamas lingered on my skin. Her sleeping breaths still clung to my ears, as if I’d only just woken from her futon.

I’d probably been in a daze all day.

I mean, we’d kissed before, right?

We even had a sleepover, right?

Nothing happened there though. Though I’d only heard about it from someone who’d heard it from someone else, I had a vague impression that more was supposed to happen between close friends at a sleepover. Like a pillow fight, I guess? Or maybe that was just what happened in movies. What about love gossip? Like Michiru asking for love advice on someone she liked… no no, that would be the literal end of the world.

Besides, what did I really want from a sleepover?

What was I to Michiru…?

After class ended, the two of us alone remained in the classroom.

I took a glance at Michiru, who had been kept back to study on account of her poor grades. I had a book in my hands, but I couldn’t concentrate in the slightest. I mindlessly flipped through the pages, my eyes glazing over the pages without registering a word. That was fine though. I could go through my memories of the text at a later date.

“Hey, Ayaka. Have you kissed someone before?”

What?

At first, I thought she’d read my mind, but I quickly realized. Michiru had been thinking the same thing as me. Michiru blushed faintly.

“I have.”

I thought back to the cultural festival.

The day that hadn’t been chosen.

The time Michiru desired to advance our relationship. The vivid memory sprang to life within my mind.

And then, a few days after that, after class.

When I initiated it.

That day had been chosen. Had Michiru forgotten?

Well, but, while I was the one who initiated it, that didn’t mean that I was the only who wanted it. Michiru had technically kissed me first, even if that day hadn’t been chosen, so it’s not like she didn’t want to do it- my thoughts kept backtracking into one another in an endless loop.

“How did it feel?”

I looked up and saw Michiru’s confident, honest gaze aimed straight at me. All my defenses were instantly obliterated.

“You were there, you know. Don’t tell me you forgot?”

“No, but, a tiny part of my is doubting whether that was a dream.” Michiru’s brazen gaze became anxious, almost apologetic for making me uneasy, and her reply was rushed and spontaneous, as if trying to make up for it. 

“Then, why don’t we confirm it? Whether it really was a dream.”

I wasn’t acting like myself.

When I woke up in Michiru’s room, I’d been overcome with an odd sensation that I’d become a different person. Perhaps I’d indeed been reborn this morning…

“Are you saying…”

“Yeah.”

Our eyes interlocked. Eyes so fiery that they might melt.

Even though we were still in the classroom, even though neither of us had uttered the words “I love you,” our mutual feelings lay plain to see in broad daylight. We didn’t need words to communicate.

“You don’t mind?”

“Nope.”

Michiru’s face neared. I closed my eyes. She squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back, and our breaths intermingled.

It had been one hundred and twenty-six days since our first kiss. Ninety days since our last kiss. The brakes had long since broken down.

“We’re both girls though.”

“Don’t make me say it.”

A sweet fragrance beckoned to my nose.

Her delicate warmth reached out across the miniscule gap between us.

That gap became nothing- was about to become nothing, when a disturbance broke in.

“Help, Aizawa!”

The atmosphere vanished like mist, leaving not even a trace.

The intruder’s breaths were ragged, gasping for air. “Thank god… you’re still here.”

I didn’t see any particular reason why I should be thanking god right now.

Having been interrupted at a good moment, my voice naturally came out stiff. “What’s the matter…?”

“I need your help, Aizawa.”

“…Natsume-chan?” Michiru, with faint tints of red still lingering on her cheeks, replied to her friend in her usual, slightly quiet voice.

The intruder, Fukayasu Natsume, sounded dead serious. “I need your help for theater club.”

That was the sound of the first domino falling.

I fidgeted restlessly during Fukayasu-san’s entire explanation.

I felt guilty for being discovered trying to kiss someone at school, and there was also a small irritation at the interruption, and a discomposure at seeing a serious Fukayasu-san who was always smiling and cheerful, and somewhere along the line, my brain stopped working properly trying to process all these emotions.

I listened to Fukayasu-san’s explanation in a daze. Apparently, all problems stemmed from the fact that her friend and theater club president, Koumekawa-san had broken her leg. Of course, Fukayasu-san was also part of the club.

“So you need me to be her replacement?”

“Ayaka, have you ever acted before?”

“I haven’t.”

Michiru had thoroughly calmed down, and I couldn’t help but notice the difference in our body temperatures. She even had the time to worry about me. Not in a million years would I be up for this task, I pleaded with my eyes. Michiru noticed and covered for me. 

“And besides, your joint-practice is this Saturday, right?” Michiru continued.

“Still!” Fukayasu-san interrupted in a loud voice.

Her usual, composed demeanor was nowhere to be seen.

“I need your help. Koumekawa, she’s normally an irresponsible, hopeless idiot! The one thing she’s passionate about is theater!”

Of course, Fukayasu-san couldn’t allow her friend’s precious play to be irreparably destroyed.

“So why me…?”

“You can do anything, right Aizawa?”

“But can’t you ask someone else…?” Michiru protested.

“Aizawa’s really smart! It’s a huge role, and there’s a ton of lines, so I can’t rely on any random person.” Fukayasu-san was nearly spitting her words. Anyone could tell she was desperate.

While I was somewhat exasperated by her exaggerated praise, if I refused her request, their play would shut down. Fukayasu-san clearly knew that in all probability, the play was doomed, and was frantically searching for a miracle.

Ahh, but I could do it. Make a miracle happen.

“If there are recordings of the past stagings, I’ll do it.”

Even a hunter won’t shoot a bird that seeks his help, was it?

I wasn’t impressed by Fukayasu’s desperate plea. But if she needed my help, and it was in my power, then I should help. That’s what I thought, is all.

“Ayaka!?” Michiru shrieked, astonished. Her eyes trembled with apprehension.

In the past, I certainly would not have budged. Acting as a replacement for a play was both annoying and tedious, and I would have no inclination towards getting involved. It didn’t affect me. Why should I die on a hill that I didn’t even care about?

But, I had decided to change.

I had decided to stop pretending to be a loner, and deal with life’s annoyances and tedium. For the time being, at least.

“You know it’s Saturday, right? You only have two days left,” Michiru said.

Today was Thursday, the twenty-ninth of October A. On average, I had ten days left until Saturday. At the bare minimum, I would have at least four days. There were no problems.

“Aizawa, I’m just making sure with you. Our show is the day after tommorow. Can you make it?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m a genius.”

“That’s…” Michiru obviously didn’t want me to push myself too far.

To be honest, the script alone would be quite tough already.

And though I didn’t forget things, I didn’t often watch plays, much less have experience acting in one.

I was no professional. I couldn’t just read over the dialogue and stage directions and create a convincing performance. 

But if they had recordings of their previous stagings, that was a different matter. Copying a model was easy. To anyone watching, it’d be apparent that I was doing a soulless charade, but at least I could try to look good as a substitute.

“I’ll pull up the recordings.” Fukayasu-san took out her phone and began tapping the screen furiously.

“If you have two or three different recordings, that’d be ideal.”

“Got it.”

I didn’t forget.

I could not forget things I’d seen or heard even a single time.

I could replay my eternal memories as many times as I wanted to, comparing them to my movements and checking for any minute differences. I remembered all my mistakes, and never made the same one twice. And once I happened to do something correctly, even if my pure coincidence, I could repeat it as many times as necessary.

My memories absorbed everything, so that even movements achieved through blind luck became fluid, well-practiced motions in a heartbeat.

With two or three different recordings, I’d mostly be able to cover everything.

Because while I detested repeating the same thing again and again more than anything, that was also my greatest strength.

“Ayaka… don’t push yourself.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Michiru looked at me nervously. Sometimes, she aggressively demanded skinship out of the blue, while other times, I could keenly feel her concern for me. There seemed to be some sort of disconnect. But I didn’t think it was something I needed to dwell on.

The outcome wouldn’t change no matter how much I thought about it. The entire situation floated high above, beyond my imagination.

My daily life where nothing happened.

The mundane relationship between her and me that I was so exasperated with.

But, our relationship was slowly beginning to change.

I didn’t notice these unprecedented, fresh feelings that began to creep up in me.

By this time, a curse had already began to spread, eroding the half broken world.

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