Chapter 41: CH 22.1

Ji Ling gawked at Jing Sui stupidly. His brain had completely crashed. Only after a long time did his brain finally catch up… Jing Sui had actually said sorry to him!

This had to be a dream… and a nightmare at that…

Jing Sui actually said sorry to him... No, this isn’t right. Why did you say sorry to me?! You’ve done very well, there’s nothing to apologize for. Please continue to be ruthless!

I don't need your apology at all! Ji Ling roared inwardly in despair. 

Jing Sui saw Ji Ling's sad and shocked eyes. A cold chill flowed through his veins, as if it wanted to freeze his innards.

He was reborn, but seeing how he’d hurt the youth with his own eyes was several times more painful and realistic than it was in his memory. The cracks in his heart, which were as dense as spiderwebs, were once again on the verge of breaking apart.

After a long time, Jing Sui finally spoke in a low voice, looking gently into Ji Ling's eyes: "You don't need to use this method to prove anything to me. Don't do such dangerous things in the future, okay?”

Ji Ling absent-mindedly looked at the man in front of him who’d always been indifferent and cool. Unexpectedly, he was staring at him with such dedicated and gentle eyes. The sadness finally overflowed in him.

You terrible home wrecker! So you were reborn too! Why couldn’t you hold on? You’re the male lead, so why must you join those villains?!

Ji Ling felt like a child who had been wronged. Although he’d encountered many obstacles before, he kept telling himself to stay strong, stick to it, and not lose hope. However, fate had still given him a ruthless blow... When he was being comforted by Jing Sui, he couldn't hold the tears anymore and cried out with a ‘waaahhhh.’

How could you do this?!

You’re too much!

Jing Sui looked at Ji Ling who’d suddenly burst into tears. His eyes shook with helplessness and despair. The accusing look he gave stabbed like a sharp knife, straight into his heart.

So in the current timeline, I’ve hurt him so deeply already. I was probably very ruthless before, and now even a single word of gentleness can bring the youth’s emotional state to the verge of collapse…

My past self was actually so harsh on the boy… 

Why... couldn’t I have come back earlier?

This thought floated in his mind again. God had given him a chance at rebirth, but perhaps it was just to let him see, with his own eyes, how cruel his actions were...

To have him loathe his past self… and be powerless to do anything about it. 

I’m sorry.

From now on… I’ll never let you go through such suffering again, okay?

Jing Sui's golden eyes were dim. He reached out and took the crying youth into his arms. His palm gently brushed against the boy's soft hair as he whispered in his ear: "Don't cry."

Ji Ling was held in Jing Sui’s arms, and comforted gently. His heart was like the dying embers of a fire, and he almost gave up in despair.

Ji Ling felt the cold breath of the man as he approached. Jing Sui held him powerfully yet gently, giving him a sense of no escape… The bottom line of his morals was the only thing that kept his reason in tact.

He couldn’t accept Jing Suiiii!

He was straight, but his character setting now was crazy about Jing Sui. It stood to reason that even if he was hurt even deeper, as long as Jing Sui was a little sweet to him, he’d throw himself at him without hesitation. As long as Jing Sui gave him a smile, he’d be up to his ears in gratitude… But Ji Ling really couldn’t do it!

He was just a brainless re-blogger who only knew to throw money. Saying he loved him was fine normally, but if one day, his idol were to turn to him and say, ‘Let’s get together. I accept your feelings…’ and after they got together… they would possibly have to kiss, and have s…

Ji Ling’s vision just about blacked out. 

Just thinking of the desperate situation he was in now, being trapped in such a terrifying world with the risk of being XXOOed by a man… Ji Ling’s strong desire to survive brought out his inner cosmos. He had to refuse Jing Sui now no matter what!

Even rabbits bit when they were backed into a corner!

Ji Ling pushed Jing Sui away hard, looking at him with his eyes red, and saying angrily: "Don't lie to me. You were consoling Ning Yu just now. The one you like is obviously him, and you came here today because of him... You were just afraid people would get back at him if he’d injured me, and afraid that I’d continue to make trouble for him if I wasn’t satisfied. I don't need your fake affection!”

Jing Sui panicked. The space within his arms was completely empty, and an insuppressible pain arose in the bottom of his eyes.

When he was reborn, the duel had already began. The reason why he hadn’t done anything at the beginning was to let Ji Ling redeem some of his reputation himself. Furthermore, the reason why he’d gone out at the end wasn’t for Ning Yu at all. If he had directly wounded Ning Yu and brought Ji Ling out with him, the angry civilians would vent their anger onto Ji Ling as well, making him a target of public criticism.

That’s why he’d pretended not to care about Ji Ling, stayed at the scene to appease Ning Yu, and tried to reduce the adverse effects caused by this incident. This way, even if the people had any dissatisfaction, most of it would be pointed at himself, bypassing Ji Ling.

But Ji Ling didn't understand that. All he saw was the scene of him leaving him behind and talking to Ning Yu.

This boy had always been simple, making his heart ache and feel forlorn.

A sigh filled Jing Sui's throat for a long time and came out lightly. He explained slowly and gently: "No, I only did that to protect you."

Ji Ling immediately asked sharply, “You call that protecting me?"

This reasoning was so simple that Jing Sui would normally disdain to explain it to other people, but when he saw the saddened boy, how could he have had the heart to let him suffer in his misunderstanding? He said: "This was a fair duel, and it’s against the rules for me to intervene. If I defended you too much, it would only make you a target of public criticism. Do you understand?"

Ji Ling was dazed for a minute. So this is what you were thinking? This reasoning was extremely simple and easy to understand. He just hadn’t thought in that direction before, but hearing Jing Sui’s words just now made him feel even more irritated and hopeless : ) 

It turns out you weren’t protecting Ning Yu just now, but defending me!

You’re reborn, fine. You’re guilty, all right. I can barely accept those things.. but your attitude towards the main shou makes me so sad and bitter. How can you care so little and not keep him in your heart like this? Instead, you unexpectedly neglect this kind main shou for the sake of me, a vicious cannon fodder character?!

You’re so fickle it scares me!

No. I, Ji Ling, will never give up!

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He took a deep breath and looked at Jing Sui, saying coolly: "Really?"

Jing Sui saw Ji Ling had finally calmed down a little, and thought he understood his intent and accepted his apology. However, he saw tears flush in Ji Ling's eyes again at this moment. The boy looked at him unfamiliarly, as if he was something terrifying…

Ji Ling's eyelashes trembled with tears hidden in his eyes, but there was a sad smile on his lips. He emphasisd each word clearly: “Besides your noble status, how can you compare to him in anything?”

Jing Sui's expression finally changed.

Ji Ling repeated every word of that sentence clearly and slowly. His eyes were filled with a mixture of despair, sadness and pain. Looking fixedly into Jing Sui's eyes, he said: “These were the words Your Majesty said to me personally that day, and I remember every single one very clearly."

Jing Sui lips moved faintly, but no sound came out.

"At that time, Your Majesty probably never expected that I’d go challenge Ning Yu to a duel... I just never imagined that you loved him so much." Ji Ling looked at him disheartened, as he opened his mouth in ridicule. There seemed to be a slight tremor in his voice, as if he was trying his best to keep calm. He said: “I can’t believe someone of your royal status, would treat me, a garbage rich kid you look down upon, with feigned courtesy in order to protect another person.”

"I was naive to hope that the reason you didn't deny the rumors that day was because you were just trying to shut me up. I thought it was just another excuse you’d found to refuse me. I didn't actually believe that you really liked him... but now, I finally do.” Ji Ling smiled, but tears streamed down his face silently. "So you like him to the point that you can intervene in a duel for him, clear all his obstacles, and solve all his troubles. For him… you’d come lie to me…”

Every time Ji Ling said a word, Jing Sui's complexion paled more.

He wanted to refute and say that he couldn’t and wouldn’t bring himself down to doing something so despicable. He was fully capable of protecting the one he loved, just like how he was protecting Ji Ling now.

But even if I deny it now... Who’d believe me?

If it weren't for the experiences of last life, if it weren't for the pain and regret of hundreds of years, he wouldn't believe it himself either.

He wouldn’t believe that he could care about someone like this.

Jing Sui closed his eyes, covering up the weakness in the depths of his eyes and said: "It's not like that."

Ji Ling suddenly shouted angrily: "Enough!"

He glanced at Jing Sui bitterly, and raised his hands to rub his eyes. It seemed as if he could no longer hold on, and turned to run from Jing Sui’s side!

Jing Sui stood there, and watched the young man pass by him. The bitter look in the boy’s eyes carried the frostiness of a thousand feet of ice, and made him unable to move.

Sometimes, once the harm was done, even if you put in 100x, no, 1000x the time, it’d be impossible to take back; impossible to make up for it.

How could he have expected to leave this deep abyss so easily?

Could he be redeemed?

Although things have come to this, please allow me to protect you this life. Even if I have to spend my whole life begging for your forgiveness, it doesn't matter.

Ji Ling had just showed his ability to act in desperate times. He’d finally gotten rid of Jing Sui with much difficulty, and returned home. He anxiously started to call on the system.

Ji Ling: [This mission just throws whatever it wants at me. I’m not doing it anymore!】

System: […Calm down. 】

Ji Ling: [There’s no way I can calm down now!!! 】

System: [……]

Ji Ling: [He was definitely reborn. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said those thing to me. Even the male lead was reborn. How can I do this mission?! 】

The system also saw what happened just now. There really was no rhyme or reason, so he could only suggest tactfully: [But if you don't do the mission, then what will you do about your reward...]

Ji Ling’s anger puffed him into a pufferfish. If he had to stay in this foreign world full of terrifying big bosses, living in fear of losing his little life everyday, then he might as well die! He took a deep breath and said: [Why don’t we read the save file and start over? 】

The system was a little embarrassed as he said: [We still have not determined the reason the characters of this world have been reborn. Even if we read the save file, there is no guarantee that it will be completely restored to the initial state...]

Ji Ling heard this, and everything turned black in front of him. He almost fainted as he said: [So you mean that even if we start over, you can't guarantee that they’ll all be normal? 】

The system didn’t dare reply.

Ji Ling smiled angrily: [Let’s just say that the first run failed because of me. The reason behind the rebirth of all these guys can’t be pushed to me though, can it? This is completely different from what we agreed on before, and a serious breach of our agreement. I demand an explanation from you! 】

System: [Rest assured, I will report this situation to my superiors and give you an explanation as soon as possible. 】

Ji Ling’s expression was cold as he said: [Your words sound very familiar to me. 】

System: [? 】

Ji Ling: [My mom’s colleague bought a place last year, but when the deal was actually closed, she found that the space was not in line with the model unit. The seller also didn’t fulfill what was agreed upon, so they went to argue with them and asked for an explanation. The seller’s representative also replied like that every time. 】

System: [……]

Ji Ling: [The key point is that this matter had been dragged out for whole year. Banners were pulled, doors were banged on; they did everything possible. No matter what they did (even if she died), the other party still replied in a perfunctory way. : ) ]

System: [……]

Ji Ling heaved a sigh: [So you guys definitely aren’t like that, right? 】

System: […] Dares not speak, dares not speak.

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