If he’d dodged any slower, then his first kiss would’ve been lost! QAQ
Despite the panic and shock in his heart, he saw a hint of doubt flash through Jing Sui's eyes and suddenly came back to himself. Oh, crap! I instinctively dodged Jing Sui’s kiss just now…
Ji Ling gawked at Jing Sui for a long time, showing a trace of anger, and stammered in an aggrieved tone: “Y-You, who told you to do this?! I haven't forgiven you yet!"
After he finished saying that, he desperately opened his eyes wide and tried to cover up the panic in his heart. His face flushed with scorching heat.
Jing Sui looked at Ji Ling's flushed cheeks. The youth’s eyes sparkled, looking shocked yet angered from embarrassment... After a while, a hint of helplessness gradually emerged from the depths of his eyes. Even though he had already explained the situation, this child still cared about the comments online, after all.
I didn’t know he was so shy and bashful before. Seeing as he’d always chased after me, running over to confess, I thought he was extremely bold and unrestrained.
When actually, he was just a pure and simple boy.
Jing Sui looked at Ji Ling's shy and flushed face. Rather than feeling angry that he’d avoided him, he actually felt this boy was cute, and wanted to spoil him more. He couldn't help but let out a low laugh: "I understand.”
He looked at the boy's reddened profile, and just wanted to bury the boy into his arms, and tease him mercilessly so he’d show more of his cute and shy reactions… But now was not the right time.
Jing Sui slowly turned his head, and narrowed his eyes at the silver-haired man standing aside respectfully. Only indifference and iciness were in his eyes.
A few days ago, Wen Yan had taken the initiative to come to him and expressed his willingness to support him in parliament… on one condition; He had to treat Ji Ling well.
In order to gain his trust, Wen Yan even took the initiative to open up and admitted that he’d allied with Carlos. Luckily for Jing Sui, he knew all too well the true nature of this man's ambitions. He was clear on the fact that Wen Yan had betrayed and framed Ji Ling last life... Otherwise, he’d almost have believed that this man was sincerely thinking of Ji Ling’s interests.
Although he didn't trust Wen Yan, Jing Sui did agree to his request in the end. He didn't care what purpose people approached him with as long as he could use them…Since Wen Yan had dared to come to him, he also dared to accept his change of loyalty. As for whether Wen Yan had other schemes, he’d wait to see whether this man had the ability and courage to act on them.
As for Ji Ling... Even if Wen Yan hadn’t said anything, he’d still have treated Ji Ling well.
This time, you'd best keep acting this way, or else I'll have to show you what the price of hurting Ji Ling is.
Wen Yan looked up into Jing Sui's eyes, but it seemed as if he hadn’t comprehended the warning in those eyes at all. He just said respectfully, "Your Majesty, young master."
Ji Ling’s heart was full of panic and chagrin. He’d never even considered the possibility that Wen Yan would be present. Now that Jing Sui had finally released him, he looked over at him cautiously, then turned and ran away.
Wen Yan gave a bow to Jing Sui, then chased after the boy.
Jing Sui didn't stop Ji Ling this time, and only looked on as the boy disappeared into the duke’s residence. A trace of deep attachment emerged in his eyes.
Now that he’d set his mind and heart on him, he’d never let go again. However, he couldn’t push too hard. He was patient enough to wait for the youth to let go of his grudges and accept himself again.
………………
Ji Ling high-tailed it home, and didn’t dare look back. Only when he reached his own courtyard, did he discover that Wen Yan had quietly followed him. His face heated up a little again.
All he could manage was to get away from Jing Sui just now, so he hadn’t had time to pay attention to Wen Yan. Only now that he had calmed down, did he begin to feel incredible chagrin.
What could be worse than being kissed by a straight man? The fact that there was an audience on the side, that’s what!
And Wen Yan was so calm about it. That made Ji Ling feel even more that this fellow was secretly laughing at him inside!
How come this guy’s expression didn’t change at all? Does he not see how awkward I’m feeling now?
Ji Ling became more and more annoyed inside. He faintly glanced at Wen Yan and said unpleasantly, "What did you come here for?”
Wen Yan looked up at him. Those dark eyes were like a black hole in the night that even a glimmer of light couldn’t pierce through. He replied hoarsely, “His Majesty seems to like you very much. Aren’t you happy?”
Ji Ling: "..."
So vindictive. This guy is such a vindictive person! He opens his mouth and cuts straight to the vitals! Now I have to answer!
Ji Ling said with tears in her eyes: “I’m happy."
Wen Yan looked fixedly at him, a hint of worry appearing in his eyes, as he said: “But you don't look very happy."
Ji Ling was incredibly aggrieved upon hearing this. He could only grasp at straws and reveal a distressed and troubled face, sighing as he said: “His Majesty obviously didn't like me before, so how could he like me all of a sudden? Although I’m very happy, I don’t dare believe it… Does he really like me? And how long will he like me for? Or maybe tomorrow, he won’t like me anymore.”
Wen Yan's fist clenched slightly. The uneasiness and sadness hidden in the youth’s eyes made his heart feel dull. This should’ve been a happy thing, but when it actually happened in real life, he was afraid of believing it… afraid of being disappointed... It was that ruthless man who trampled his proud youth’s feelings, and gradually, turned him into this state.
Jealousy and hatred surged in his chest. He didn't want to let go of his beloved boy, or send him to that cold ruthless man…
But...
After a long time, Wen Yan finally closed his eyes and said slowly, "No, he will definitely like you."
For just a moment there, the darkness in his heart had once again prevailed, giving birth to the despicable thoughts he had last life of wanting to keep his beloved boy to himself…but that was something he couldn’t do.
Otherwise, how would it be any different from last life?
This life, he only hoped that the youth could be happy.
Jing Sui may be ruthless, but that was precisely the reason why he could put his feelings up as an exchange condition. Similarly, he’d chosen to join hands with the civilian Ning Yu last life for his own benefit.
As long as I could put enough benefits on the table to entice Jing Sui, he’d naturally cooperate with me. This was the case with the genetic evolution agents proposal. Gossip with Ning Yu was completely trivial compared with the importance of this matter. As long as Jing Sui weighed the pros and cons, he’d no doubt be willing to give up on Ning Yu, because it was a better deal for him to cooperate with me.
Ji Ling looked at Wen Yan's dedicated and respectful expression. It was as if those dark black eyes were making a very solemn promise...
He wanted to say, ‘Stop with the act, bro. My abilities are limited, so I can’t really help you with anything. You’re already an experienced speaker. You should learn to go out into the world on your own.’ However, when he looked at the beautiful and refined face of the man in front of him, he remembered the cruelty and maliciousness within, and didn't dare to speak those words.
After a long time, he finally spit out one word: "Okay.”
………………
That night, Ji Ling couldn’t fall asleep. When he closed his eyes, the faces of Jing Sui, Brandon, Carlos, Wen Yan, and the others swirled before his eyes like a spinning lantern; at times, cold, at times, cruel, and at times, malicious… Thinking of his current situation made him want to cry.
He carefully recalled what had happened last night. Compared with almost losing his first kiss... What actually scared him the most was what that kiss meant. In other words, why Jing Sui would even want to kiss him!
It’s fine if you feel a bit guilty to me, but was it really necessary to explain things to me so many ways, and even try to kiss me? Don't people normally only want to do that kind of thing with the person they like?
How is that guilt? It’s clearly how people act when they’re going after someone! Ji Ling was about to break down.
No, this isn’t good. I have to calm down.
What does Jing Sui even like about me?
Ji Ling reasoned back and forth, concluding there was only one possibility in the end…
He must’ve done this out of compensation for a guilty conscience after being reborn. Like the theory of, what was lost was actually the most beautiful thing or something. By dying, he had added filters and beautified himself in all their eyes…
Although it may sound ridiculous, it was true. People were always obsessed with what they couldn’t get and what they’d lost, instead, forgetting to cherish what they could easily obtain.
When I was young, I’d always remember the toys I couldn't get. However, when I actually got my hands on them, I realized they weren’t all that special…
So what would Jing Sui think about a living person like me who was ‘single-heartedly devoted,’ and even dying for him last life? As long as he wasn’t completely cold-blooded and anti-social, he should be a little moved in the end, right…
His image of me would always stay frozen at my final and most beautiful moment.
Death and time could change everything.
Even a grain of rice could become *a beautiful moon, and **mosquito blood could become a red rose.
Ji Ling suddenly thought...
If their love for him was just this kind of so-called ‘love,’ then it probably wouldn’t be so hard to destroy, right?
Those feelings originally weren’t very solid anyways, since they were founded out of compensation for guilt. Plus, they were because he had died for Jing Sui last life. And wasn’t he living fit as a fiddle this life? Those things last life hadn’t happened either. As long as he continued working hard to seek death, and clearly showed them exactly what he was like, he’d be able to remove the added filters a little. They’d realize the person they liked was just what they imagined he was, and that there were serious discrepancies between the picture and the actual person…Then, they’d realize he wasn’t really that great, and not worth their love.
Once you’ve obtained the toy, and played with it enough, you can easily throw it away.
The beautiful moon once again becomes a rice grain, and red roses once again become mosquito blood. People's hearts were just that cold and fickle.
Nothing in the world was too difficult if you put your heart to it. All he had to do was seek death enough to die for! Then, he would definitely be able to turn the plot around!
Ji Ling's eyes finally showed resolve.
A few days later, news of the bugs invading Nadeau Galaxy would arrive. Since an empress would be making an appearance this time, this matter was of utmost importance, and Jing Sui would personally lead the expedition. However, Ji Ling knew that there wouldn’t just be one empress this time. There was another one hidden in secret. They cunningly hid their strength, so that at the most critical moment, the hidden empress could suddenly attack the base. This had put Brandon in harm’s way, and given Ji Ling the chance to save him.
This time, however, none of that would happen. Brandon and Jing Sui were reborn, so for them, taking out this group of bug monsters was like a joke. They already knew of the hidden plots, and there’d be no real danger in this war.
It’d be a crushing victory.
Before, Ji Ling hadn’t intended on continuing along with this part of the plot. Although he knew there shouldn’t be any danger this time, his experience last time had left him with lingering fear. He didn't want to get scared out of his wits again and risk another encounter with the rebels. Coupled with the rebirth of the characters, it probably wouldn’t make a huge difference if he didn’t go. These thoughts gave birth to some idea of abandoning ship.
However, he had changed his mind now.
It was precisely because there’d be no danger in this battle that he should go. There were no risks, so it was the perfect stage for him to seek death. A great opportunity had presented itself to him! The more he acted sad and hurt, the more Jing Sui would want to be close to him and make things up to him. After that, he’d act the same as he had before, harassing people with haughtiness and arrogance. Jing Sui should quickly get fed up with him always provoking fights, right?
Ji Ling thought he was such a genius. His goal was to become whatever Jing Sui hated the most! In other words, everything that annoys you, I will be!
The first step was to get Jing Sui to hate himself!
Translator’ s notes
*This doesn’t work as well fully translated, but ‘white moonlight’ is a poetic way to describe your treasured (often, first) love that is forever unattainable to you.
**The connotation is pretty similar. They’re both red, with mosquito blood being cheap and repulsive (since it’s likely from you slapping that mosquito dead), and a red rose being beautiful etc…