Chapter 132: S7 Final: Recreation: Think You Know Someone

Tucker is screaming, flying through the desert on his vehicle until he crashes.

Tucker: Fuck.

Pans out to Caboose and Sarge.

Caboose: Cannon's charged.

Sarge: Okay, fuck it, shoot 'em.

Caboose blows up the Mongoose. Ash reaches them as Tucker casually rolls out of the cave.

"Uh, hey guys." Tucker says. "Sorry about that."

"Tucker, where did you get that?!" Caboose asks.

"No! This is my ride!" Tucker says as he drives over to them. "The aliens gave it to me as a gift." Tucker hops out. "Pretty fucking cool."

"I want one." Ash says.

"Did they give you driving lessons too?" Grif asks.

"No, we kind of skipped that part, but it looks awesome!" Tucker explains.

The scene now moves to C.T. as he's pursued by some of the aliens. He collides with one of them.

C.T.: Ahh! Move, you piece of shit!

The alien crashes into a pillar, losing C.T. He goes to look for him. After a short while, C.T. honks his horn and rams into the alien's vehicle, destroying it.

Ash is in the middle of the two vehicles while holding a rocket launcher.

"There he is!" Caboose yells.

C.T. drives away.

"You guys follow him, I'll cut him off!" Tucker yells.

"We can't lose Church!" 

"We won't!" Tucker drives off.

"You always say that, but we always do!"

The reds and Caboose follow after C.T. Ash is running.

"I should build a bike with guns, and call it Gungoose." Ash says.

Scene cuts to Simmons.

Simmons: Godammit, it won't start.

Lopez: Probablemente sacó el motor de arranque. Eso es lo que yo haría.[He probably took out the starter. That's what I would do.]

Simmons: Hmm, it looks like he took out the starter.

Lopez: En serio. Pues, no me jodáis.[Really. Well, no shit.]

Donut: What do we do?

Lopez: ¡Quédate allí! Empujaremos el coche. Usted hace estallar el embrague![Stay in there! We'll push the car. You pop the clutch!]

Donut: It's no good. (sniffling) We can't do anything!

Lopez: En serio.¡Solo tenemos que empujarlo diez metros![Seriously. We only need to push it about ten meters!]

Donut: All hope is lost.

The Meta is seen approaching from a distance.

Simmons: Oh no, the Meta!!

Lopez: Oh, mierda.

Donut: What are we gonna do without any ammo? We're trapped.

Simmons: Ha. This thing always has ammo.

Lopez: No serás lo suficientemente fuerte para girarlo sin energía. [You won't be strong enough to turn it without power.]

Simmons shoots momentarily at the Meta, but it soon ceases fire.

Simmons: Oh, fuck.

Lopez: (sarcastic) Tal vez podrás convencerlo que se pare enfrente de él.[Maybe you could convince him to stand in front of it.]

Simmons: (hops out of the jeep) What?

Donut: He said maybe you could convince the Meta to stand in front of it.

Simmons: That's a stupid plan, Lopez. Try to actually help.

Lopez: Vamos. ¿En serio? ¿ESO fue lo único que entendió?[Come on. Really? THAT was the only thing you understood?]

Donut: I agree Lopez. Pencils are great.

Cuts to Sarge, Caboose, and Grif chasing after CT.

Sarge: Caboose, what are you doing back there? Shoot 'em!

Caboose: Okay!

Grif: No, don't shoot 'em, you'll stall the jeep!

Caboose: Okay!

Sarge: Grif, you drive, don't give Caboose directions.

Caboose: Okay!

Sarge: Caboose, don't respond to Grif!

Caboose: Okay!

Tucker: Only got one shot at this.

Tucker leaps out of the chopper and stands in C.T.'s path. The Warthog fires and comes to a stop.

Grif: Jeep stall.

Sarge: Like user error!

Grif: Yeah, that's what it is.

Tucker: Gotta time this—now!

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Tucker slashes at C.T.'s jeep. It halts and explodes. C.T. flies to the side, but then rises and runs off.

Ash reaches the group. "Man, I missed all the fun."

Grif: Whoa! Tucker, look, he's still alive!

Tucker: I'll get C.T., you guys find Church.

Caboose: Okay!

Caboose gets off the Warthog turret and runs towards C.T.'s destroyed jeep.

Caboose: Church! Where are you?

Cut to Tucker running alone atop the temple.

Tucker: Where the hell did he go?

C.T.: Freeze!

Tucker: Damn it!

C.T.: Tucker, I should've killed you the second I laid eyes on you. I would've been long gone if you hadn't interfered.

Tucker: (backs up until he is at the edge of the temple) Okay dude, I guess you got me. I've got nowhere to go. Just tell me one thing though, who are you really? And who sent you here?

CT: Sorry. You'll never know.

Church rises from behind Tucker.

Church: Hey, what's up?

C.T.: What in the hell is that thing?

Church's eye glows red.

C.T.: Oh, son of a... (gets shot by Church's laser and lays on the ground dead)

Church: I am not a thing. My name is Leonard Church... AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!!!

Tucker: Hoohoo, hell yeah! Dude, you just got fucked up!

Caboose: Wow! Now that was awesome.

Grif: Yeah, awesome.

"I wish my face did that.

Tucker: Church, how did you do that?

Church: I don't really know. I just got really mad and it just kind of, y'know, happened.

Tucker: Can you do that again, like to the yellow guy or something?

Church: I guess... not really sure.

Sarge: I got a bad feeling about this.

Grif: For once Sarge, you and I agree.

Tucker: Look guys, we need to keep our head in the game. Let's get back into that temple and close it down for good.

Caboose: Um guys.....I think we might have a problem

Aliens are surrounding the area below them.

Church: Uh-oh.

Back at Valhalla, Agent Washington approaches behind the Meta.

Simmons: Agent Washington. It's Agent Washington.

Donut: Who?

Wash: Stop right there!

Simmons: Yes, we're saved.

Wash: Stand down. I'll take it from here

Meta: (noises)

Wash: I said back off.

Simmons: Wha- what's happening?

Wash: Where is it?

Simmons: Where's what? Why aren't you two fighting?

Wash: The epsilon unit, I know you have it. Give it to me.

Lopez: Pensé que este tipo era su amigo.[I thought this guy was your friend?]

Simmons: Wait wait wait, you're working with... the Meta?

Wash: Don't make me repeat myself.

Lopez: ¿Puede alguien explicar que ocurre?[Would someone explain what's going on?]

Wash shoots Lopez in the head. Lopez collapses.

Donut: Oh my God! He just shot Lopez!

Wash turns to Donut; shoots him. The warthog's window breaks.

Simmons: Donut?

Donut: Hey... Simmons? I think he shot me too... (falls to the ground, presumably dead)

Simmons: DONUT, NOOOO! Donut, Donut, are you okay? Come on, breathe, Donut! Breathe! Why did you do that?! What's wrong with you?!

Simmons is still screaming in the background as the Chairman is speaking.

Simmons: No, Donut! Come on, stay with me! Stay with me, Donut! Don't just stand there!

The camera pans closer to Wash.

Chairman: Now, Agent Washington. I just have one more question for you. Agent Washington? Agent Washington, are you listening to me?

Cut to flashback.

Wash: Mm? Yes, I'm listening.

Chairman: Agent Washington, when you find these blue soldiers that you're talking about, what makes you think that they are just going to give you the Epsilon unit when you ask them for it?

Wash: Heheh, for as long as I can remember, I've been lied to, taken advantage of, shot in the back, and left for dead. And now, I have a way out of all of this. What in the hell makes you think that I'm going to ask for it?

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07-15-2022

One more season to go till we learn about Ash/Minnesota/Spartan A-142, past. And how he came to be the Ash we know now.

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