Chapter 140: Revelations: Perusing the Archive

Fade in to Epsilon and Caboose wandering some halls

F.I.L.S.S: Please watch your step. Director, since you have a new visitor with you today, would you like me to run the tutorial program?

Caboose: Yes, always run that. No seriously you need to run that. No it's, really you need to, you need to turn that-

Epsilon: Yeah okay shut up dude. Yes, please run the tutorial program.

Caboose: Oh thank God.

Chime Sounds, and F.I.L.S.S. talks

F.I.L.S.S: Hello, and welcome to the Freelancer Off-site Storage Facility. Project Freelancer is a state of the art scientific endeavour, with one goal in mind: to ensure the security of humanity in a harsh and violent Galaxy. This bunker has been constructed to guarantee the continued operation of our program, in the event of a primary facility loss. This storage area archives all the components of our Freelancer simulation bases. These outposts test our agents in realistic training scenarios.

Caboose: Yeah, we're on the Blue Team!

F.I.L.S.S: I am sorry, I do not recognize that term. Our simulation outposts are categorized into Red, and [entry missing]. Hmm, it seems as though I have a corrupted database. I will correct that when I have more time.

Caboose: Uheh- there's our old stuff! And there's a teleporter! Man, Tucker hates those.

Epsilon: Don't interrupt. Come on. This way.

F.I.L.S.S: When the equipment is not being used, it is stored here until it can be repurposed for- oh. I guess we are moving on.

Epsilon and Caboose come to a door at the end of a hallway

Caboose: Well what's this?

F.I.L.S.S: I am sorry, this area is restricted. Only the Director himself may access this entry. I am sure you understand. The nature of our experiments is such that-

Epsilon: Open it.

F.I.L.S.S: Excuse me Director?

Epsilon: I want you to open it.

F.I.L.S.S: Are you certain Director? You never bring visitors into this-

Epsilon: I said, open it.

F.I.L.S.S: Alright. Unlocking.

The door unlocks and opens.

F.I.L.S.S: Would you like me to archive your ...personal project?

Epsilon: No. Let's see everything.

F.I.L.S.S: If you say so Director.

Cut to the Reds at the outside of the hugely complex, high tech facility

"Simmons, what's the status report?" Sarge asks.

"Gumball McJones and Caboose went into that door." Simmons explains.

"What door?" Grif asks. "All I see is a wall."

"It's a secret door." Simmons explains.

"Simmons, what did I tell you about using Dungeon & Dragons references in combat situations?" Sarge says.

Simmons sighs. "Sorry, sir. It's a concealed door."

"That's better."

"How did they open it?" Grif asks.

Simmons motions to the computer on the tree. "They talked to that computer. They got it to open the door by posing as members of Project Freelancer. Ash might be able to get us in."

"Really?" Ash asks. "Oh, right."

"Are you sure?" Grif asks. "I'm still not sure about him being a Freelancer. 'Cause, aren't agents, like tough and good at things? Ash is none of those."

"Oh, fuck you!" Ash says.

"Well, get up there, Soldier!" Sarge orders.

"Well, Okay then." Ash walks over to the computer.

F.I.L.S.S: Hello. This is a private facility. Visitors are not welcome. Please leave immediately. Or, we will be forced to take lethal measures, to ensure the safety of our property. You have thirty seconds to comply, or die. Have a nice day! 

"Uh... Hello computer A.I." Ash says. 

"Oh, Agent Minnesota. It's been a long time." F.I.L.S.S says.

"Like how long?" Ash says.

"About nine years." The computer A.I. states.

"Wow, that was a long time."

"Would you like to enter the facility today?"

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"Yes, I would." Ash says.

"Do you have your clearance code?"

"Clearance code?"

"Yes, All Agents made a Clearance Code to get into the private facilities. To make sure nobody would pose as them and try to get in." F.I.L.S.S states.

"Darn... Huh?" Ash is silent for a few moments. "Okay, let's try this. Charlie-Alpha-Lima One-Four-One."

"Accepted. Have a nice day." The wall opens up.

"Holy shit, it worked." Ash mumbles. "Thanks Emily." He turns back to the computer. "Also I brought guests, F.I.L.S.S."

"The Director did not autho-" F.I.L.S.S starts but the screen is suddenly shot.

"Sarge!" Ash yells as he turns around.

"It was taking too long!" Sarge says. "We don't have time."

Cut to Washington leading the Meta, who's dragging the cement wall with an embedded Doc through the desert

Washington: The recovery beacon leads here. It's weak, but I can still pick it up. ...Here. Meta, dig.

Meta: *Growls.*

Washington: Hey, I'm not gonna argue with you about this. You want a chance at that A.I.? I track, you dig. Otherwise, you can wander the desert by yourself, and see if you find him on your own.

Meta: *Growls*

Washington: Because I found the signal. You dig. We all have to pull our own weight.

The Meta looks back at Doc still encased in the wall

Washington: Right, and other people's weight too. Just dig.

The Meta starts digging

Doc: Man, some people just can't take orders. Am I right?

Washington: Shut up, we're not friends.

Doc: Can I at least get a drink of water?

Washington: Shut up. I already asked you if you were thirsty before we left.

Doc: Yeah we're in the desert! Thirsty should be assumed.

Washington: You can drink later.

Doc: Yeah, this might be a bad time to tell you that I'm sinking then.

Washington: ...I hate you.

Doc: I know.

The Meta stops digging

Doc: Can we- what're you guys doing over there?

Wash looks down into the Meta's hole and sees a severed head, or else he was buried standing up

Washington: What the- is that C.T.? That's impossible, what's she doing out here?

Doc: What're you looking at?

Meta: *Growls*

Washington: Don't bother. She didn't get an A.I., remember?

Doc: Down in front!

Washington: Scavenge her for equipment, see what you can...

The aliens provide an audience for them

Washington: ...find.

Doc: Well, this is just fuckin' great.

Epsilon and Caboose are roaming the halls together until they come to a room filled with Epsilon bodies

Caboose: Oh my God! Look at all the yous! You're everywhere! Why this is like a Best Friend Store, and this is the greatest store ever! You can have your body back! Now which one do you want? I wanna buy one.

Epsilon: I'm not looking for that.

A person-sized cryo chamber opens in front of Epsilon

Epsilon: I'm looking, for this.

Caboose: Oh.

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07-16-2022

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