Chapter 241: You Better Watch Out

Fade in to Kimball and her assault team driving through unsettled territory in Warthogs and tanks.

Soldier: (over radio) General Kimball, we've just got word from the away team.

UNSETTLED TERRITORY

Kimball: What's the news?

Soldier: (over radio) Well... apparently they found Santa.

All of the vehicles come to a halt. Cut to Dr. Grey, Ash, Tucker, and Caboose at the Jungle Temple. Carolina approaches them.

"Kimball's moving ahead with the assault." Carolina informs the group. "They should be reaching Alpha any minute."

"Then we gotta hurry." Tucker says.

"Are you sure there is no end to your questions?" Santa says as Epsilon reappears. 

"You have... no idea!" Dr. Grey says.

"Alright, let's not start foaming at the mouth here." Church says to the Doctor.

"I can foam wherever I want thank you very much!" 

"Yeah, leave her foaming to her own, Church." Ash says.

"Thank you." Dr. Grey says to Ash.

"Dear God." Church mumbles in annoyance. "If they have a child, it's gonna destroy worlds."

Santa clears his throat and everyone looks at him. "The legacy of my creators is scattered throughout the galaxy. Their history, their technology, all left behind for future species to discover. This planet, the one you've claimed as Chorus, was one of great importance. It is here that they've kept some of their most valued treasures."

"What kind of treasures we talking about?" Tucker asks. "Like Indiana Jones Golden Island treasures?" Tucker moans in annoyance. "Or is it some stupid metaphorical stuff like" Tucker then speaks in a mocking exposition tone. "'The real treasure was friendship the whole time'."

"My creators bequeathed many gifts and you will find each locked away within a temple. Lavernius Tucker, you triggered the Temple of Arms. With its power you reactivated combat vehicles, weaponry and a myriad of other technological models from the time long past. These are merely a fraction of the gifts left behind by my creator."

"That's amazing!" Dr. Grey says.

"I want weapons!" Ash yells. "I LIKE WEAPONS!"

"So then why'd you turn it off?" Tucker asks Santa.

"I encountered... an anomaly." Santa states.  "The temples on this planet can only be activated with a key wielded by a true warrior. However, some time ago, one of my temples was meddled with."

Carolina looks at Church. "I wonder who that could've been." She says facetiously. 

"Probably space pirates." Caboose says.

"I was being facetious." 

"Dude, making up words is not going to help you sound smarter." Tucker says.

"You are sooo dull-witted." Ash says to Tucker.

"Focus!" Dr. Grey shouts.

Santa continues. "The temple was designed to form a defensive barrier around the planet by manipulating gravity. The meddlers managed to circumvent my security measures and partially activated the temple, giving them moderate control over the planet's gravitational field."

"Tell them how the elves are involved, Santa." Caboose says.

"He's talking about the tractor beams." Church says.

"This act should have been impossible without the Great Key." Santa starts and he turns to Tucker. "Which brings me to you."

"Me!?" Tucker questions. 

"I sensed your key's power at the Temple of Arms, and allowed you to activate it. But when you did not respond in the voice of my people, protocol insisted I bring you here for further testing."

"Sorry dude. Only language I speak, is American."

"Weren't you an alien ambassador?" Carolina asks.

"I never said I was a 'good' ambassador." Tucker states.

"You're right on that." Ash mumbles and Tucker hits Ash. "Ow! You little shit!"

"But why test us if Tucker already has the sword?" Dr. Grey asks. "Or... key?"

"Because my records state that the Great Key of this planet, has yet to be claimed." Santa states.

"Wait. There's another key?" Tucker asks.

"Of course!" Caboose says. "In case you lock one in your car! My God. They have thought of everything!"

"It lies in a mountain temple, to the east." Santa explains. "After the security failure, I had to be sure that the presence of two keys was not an error in my programming.  It is now clear to me, that although your key comes from another world, it was in fact forged by my creators, and is therefore acceptable."

"Sweet! Then that means we can go back to our tower and turn it on." Tucker says.

"Alien weaponry for everyone!" Dr. Grey shouts in excitement.

"YES!" Ash yells. "I can finally get a new Plasma Rifle."

"And you said that was only a fraction of the stuff that's here, right?" Church asks.

"Correct." Santa confirms. 

"Well..." Carolina starts. "not to sound, greedy, but, uhhhhh..."

"What else you got?" Church finishes.

"Yeah."

"Hmm, there is the Temple of Weather Manipulation, Bountiful Harvest, Interior Decorating, Procreation, Communication..." Santa says.

Church interrupts. "Wait! What was that last one?"

"Communication. Activating this temple will allow you to send a message to virtually any communication device in the galaxy."

"And what was the one before that?" Tucker asks.

"Procreation. Activating this temple will throw the inhabitants of Chorus into a ravenous sexual frenzy with the intent to increase a potentially dwindling population." Santa explains.

"We... won't be needing that one." Carolina says.

"Well... let's not rule anything out!" Tucker says.

"I'm with Carolina." Ash says. "And I want to win that Fifty bucks."

"Yo! Alien dude." Church says.

"Santa." He says.

"I refuse to call you that. Look, we actually need to transmit a message to Earth but there's been a bunch of radio jammers keeping it from getting out. You think this temple thing will be strong enough to break through them?"

"Without question." Santa says.

"Well then that's it!" Church says. "We don't need a full-on assault. We don't even need alien weapons. We just need to activate that temple and call for help."

"Then let's radio Kimball and get out of here." Carolina says.

"Wait!" Santa says. "Before you leave, I must warn you. The gifts left behind by my creators are immensely powerful. If taken by those less worthy, the results could be catastrophic. Which is why my creators constructed the Purge."

"That doesn't sound ominous at all!" Tucker says sarcastically.

Santa looks as Tucker. "As its bearer, the Great Key will remain bonded to you and you alone, until the time of your death. If you believe the inhabitants of this planet are not ready for my creators' gifts, activating the Purge will cleanse them."

"And by 'cleanse' you mean...?" Carolina starts.

"All sentient life on Chorus will be exterminated." Santa states. 

"Dude. Buzzkill."  Tucker says.

"That doesn't sound like that much fun." Ash says.

"And... where exactly is this thing?" Church asks.

"Here." Santa says and a map appears.

"I will also update all previously sent maps with temple locations." Santa says.

"Thanks." Church says and he turns to Carolina. "Look Carolina we gotta... Wait..." He turns back to Santa. "What do you mean maps?"

Santa: The maps that were sent to the temples.

Epsilon: ...All of the temples?

Santa: ...Of course.

Epsilon: ...Oh no.

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Four Space Pirates suddenly show up behind them.

Epsilon: Carolina!

The Space Pirates open fire, but stop and lower their rifles after a moment. The away team is covered by the Bubble Shield deployed by Carolina.

Xi appears on Ash's shoulder.

Caboose: And that was close.

Freckles: Affirmative.

Grey: (frightened) Charon's here?

Epsilon: Urgh, they've been here the whole time.

Sharkface: (off screen) That's right.

The Blues and Grey look up. Sharkface looks down on them from the ramp above. His Assault Rifle is painted with shark teeth and eyes.

Sharkface: And now, thanks to you, we've got all the intel we need.

Tucker: What are you talking about?

Sharkface: (to his Space Pirate) As soon as their shield falls, open fire. Just leave the Freelancer alive for me. (turns around and starts to walk away)

Carolina: (mockingly) You really think four people are enough to stop us?

Sharkface: (turns to face Carolina) You're only safe for as long as that shield is up, then you've got no cover and two failing A.I.'s So yeah, I do.

Carolina: (to Epsilon) What is he talking about?

Ash looks to Xi.

Sharkface: Besides, the rest of our guys are prepping for your friends at Alpha.

Grey: (frightened) What?!

Sharkface: I hope you said something meaningful the last time you saw them (turns around and walks away) 'Cause you won't be seeing them again. (walks off)

Cut to Crash Site Alpha where numerous space pirates are seen.

CRASH SITE ALPHA

Tejano music is heard slowly getting louder.

Female Space Pirate: (to partner) Do you... hear something?

The two pirates face forward and spot the Reds rushing towards them in a Warthog. The Tejano is coming out of their Warthog.

Sarge: (yelling) YEEE-HAAAWW!

The pirates raise their weapons in response.

Female Space Pirate: Enemy sighted!

The Reds run over the pirates and come to a halt. Several Fed and Rebel troops drive past them and engage in battle.

Sarge: Ya see! I told you the front line is where the action is! Ha ha!

Simmons: That's why we didn't wanna be here!

Sarge: Ah nonsense. (turns on radio) This is Colonel Sarge. We have engaged the enemy! In for a short courtship of blood!

Kimball: (over radio) Copy that, Red leader! Good work.

Cut to Kimball fighting alongside a Rebel.

Kimball: All squads remember your sectors! We've got multiple towers to take down and numerous-

Suddenly, a large shadow casts over the sky, catching the attention of the assault team. The UNSC Tartarus then emerges from the sky. The Reds looks up at the ship.

Grif: ...Oh fuck me...

Numerous space pirates then drop down from the Tartarus, using their equipped jetpacks to land safely.

Space Pirate: Take 'em out!

The pirates open fire. Cut to Washington alongside Jensen, Bitters, Smith, and Palomo.

Palomo: (frightened) Ahh!! I-it-it's a trap!! Why is it always a trap?!!

"Why do the bad guys laway sget the cool stuff." Axel asks.

Washington: They're cutting off our escape!

Cut back to Kimball, taking cover. The rebel fighting by her side is killed.

Kimball: Where did they get more men?!

Felix: (over radio) Come on Vanessa, give me a little credit. I was your right-hand man for years.

Cut to Felix and Locus fighting together.

Felix: You really didn't think I'd see this coming?

Kimball: (over radio) You bastar-!

Felix cuts her off. Sharkface soon contacts Locus and Felix.

Sharkface: (over radio) Locus, Felix. I've got some news that's gonna make your day.

Locus: (stands up) Report.

Sharkface: (over radio) What if I told you I found a way to kill everyone on Chorus with the turn of a key? ...And what if I told you I was heading to that key right now?

Felix: I'd say you're gonna need backup.

Locus: (crouches back down and fires Sniper Rifle) Take a Pelican! I've got Alpha covered!

Felix: Right. (leaves)

Locus fires his sniper until Felix radios him.

Felix: (over radio) Oh, Locus.

Locus: What?

Felix: (over radio) When you kill Kimball, go ahead and do it quick. ...We were friends after all.

Locus stands up, reloads the Sniper Rifle and cloaks. Cut to the War Room in Armonia where two Fed Technicians are seen.

ARMONIA • WAR ROOM

Kimball: (over radio) Mayday! Mayday! This is Vanessa Kimball to Armonia! We need immediate ground support! Please respond! Over!

Doyle approaches the Feds.

Doyle: What the devil is happening out there?

Kimball: (over radio) Doyle, god damn it, pick up the fucking radio!

Doyle: Good Lord. (clears throat) Uh, yes Kimball! What is it?

Kimball: (over radio) The whole thing was a set-up! Charon's got way more men than we were led to believe! They've got a ship... They ambushed us!

Doyle: Eh... there, there, now. I'm sure everything will be fine.

Kimball: (over radio) NO!! It will not be fine!! Forget the Capital, I need you to round up as many troops as you can and send them our way. Don't need to keep quiet, just take the Pelicans and make sure you're out of range of tractor beams.

Doyle: Um, yes. Of course. (starts to walk away)

Carolina: (over radio) Doyle, wait! Can you hear me?

Doyle: (stops) Agent Carolina?

Carolina: (over radio) I know Kimball needs those reinforcements, but we need them first.

Doyle: (walks back to the radio) I-I- I beg your pardon?

Carolina: (over radio) We're pinned down. I need you to send a squad to the mountains east of our location. Charon's already on their way there and we have to beat them to it.

Kimball: (over radio) Carolina, what are you talking about? Beat them to what?

Carolina: (over radio) To a key that's going to end the world.

Doyle and the technicians swap looks.

Doyle: Right. You're going to have to run that by me again.

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07-25-2022

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