Chapter 120: Why Did He Even Fall For Me?

(From Blue's Perspective)

The cold wind of the night was blocked by the blanket and the warmth of him. His arms were wrapped around me securely. I wished I could stay like this always. 

I wondered if it was okay for me to make such a wish. After all, if we kept the child, perhaps I would die. 

The sky was beautiful. But the fact that I was with him like this was even more beautiful. Perhaps I knew what I was going to do very well. 

'I don't think I can abandon something you gave me. It's our child after all. Let's just hope that we will be alright...'

But it was also worrying. If our child was born, for some reason, I could think of him being the type to care for his own child. It was perhaps heartless of me to think so, but I could not think otherwise. He doted on me, but I wished he would do the same with our child too. I wanted him to love it as much as he loved me. 

I did not have the chance to get parental love. And I knew what it felt like to have bad parents. I did not want the same to happen to someone else. Be it my child or someone else's, I did not wish for anyone to have that kind of fate. 

"Are you worried about something?" he asked. 

"N-No... It's nothing like that."

"I know I can be really paranoid and I'm like this most of the time. I just can't control myself and I don't know what I'm doing wrong," he said. "But still, if you're worried about something, please tell me. I don't want you to carry any burden alone."

"... It's just e-everything," I mumbled. 

"You want to keep it, right?" he asked. 

I nodded. "For real?" he again asked. 

"Yes," I replied. 

He rested his head on my back and sighed. "I will bring the best doctor for you. Nothing will happen to you."

"A-And the child too..."

"... Ah, yes, it too," he said, not so enthusiastically. 

It was not easy to change his mind. But I was hoping that by the time the child was born, he would change his view and he would care for it. It was not like I was fully sure that I would be a good mother. After all, I was only eighteen and did not know about a lot of things. Besides, it had been a bit more than two months since I got married. I wished I could have more time to prepare myself. But there was no point in thinking about the past now that it had happened. 

But there was one thing I was sure of- I could surely treat the child well. That was the best thing I would be able to do even though I had no experience.

"Does your body hurt too much?" he asked. 

"No, it's... a lot less now... I mean, it was like... squirming and hurting... like burning and pinching everywhere... But now, it's a lot... less," I mumbled. "I'm sorry... You can't even sleep... because of me..."

"That's what you're worried about?" he chuckled. "I have slept enough when you were unconscious."

'Ah, yes, sitting beside the bed... You expect me to believe it?'

"And besides, you should be worried about yourself now," he said. 

Now that I thought about it, he was actually the king. And I was the queen. Then our child must be the princess or prince, right? 

"Dem?"

"Yeah?"

"Our child... It's going to be the prince or princess, huh?"

"... Yes," he replied. 

"Then do we need to... I mean, it's a big thing now, right?" 

"Yes, it is," he said. "It's annoying that we need to share every freaking thing with the kingdom! We gotta declare this as well... I just hate it!"

"W-When?" I asked. 

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Declaring this kind of news meant it was a must that the king and the queen were present. But I was nervous. I never liked the crowd. It was suffocating. To think I would have to stand in front of a huge crowd...

"As soon as possible, but I want to ensure your safety first," he said. "I will get a good doctor first and then let him treat you. After it's assured that you will be safe, we can declare it." 

"Um, we... both have to do so, right?" 

"Yes," he said. "But if you want to, you don't have to..."

"No, I-I will do it," I said quickly. 

He was always like this. He never let me do something that I did not like. It was kind of like a blessing that he was very considerate, but sometimes, he went overboard. He would even go against thousands of people if it was for something little that I did not want to do.

"We... met M-Mother on the... way, right?" I asked. "What did... she say? I couldn't... hear p-properly... D-Did she ask... for something?" 

"Oh, she wanted to see you," he replied. "She heard that you were sick."

"Then... what did you say? I-I could meet her," I said. 

"Don't push yourself hard," he said. "And besides, there are a lot more time when she can see you."

"W-What did you... tell her?"

"I told her to get out of the way," he grumbled. "You know, I don't understand why someone goes to meet a sick person. I mean, honestly, it just adds to the burden. Can't they understand that the best thing they can do is give them some space, especially when there is already someone reliable beside the person?"

"Well, I think it's their way to show that they care for the sick person and they are encouraging that person to get well soon," I said. 

"Ugh, bullshit! No matter what the reason is, I hate it," he muttered. "I think they can just take a peek and then leave as soon as possible."

"I don't think you will let anyone take even a peek," I said. 

"When you're sick? Never! It's annoying as fuck! And besides, why would more people do? They will only cause annoyance," he grumbled. "Doctors are needed to treat you and maids are required to take care of you. And I should be by your side since I'm your husband and more importantly, I love you. That's enough people already."

I sighed. There was no way I could make someone like him understand this. He lacked sympathy, so he did not know what these types of things meant. Sometimes I wished he could change a bit, but I also knew that it was almost impossible. He was only good to me, his wife. I wondered why he fell for me in the first place. Was it my eyes? Or was it because I helped him and his sister? Who knew? Even he could not answer me properly. Perhaps it was a question that I could never get an answer to. 

But still, I could not get it out of my head. Just why did someone like him like me? We did not even have much of a similarity between us. There was only a part of our mind that was the same and that part was pretty dark. 

Then did I have any desirable characteristics? I wondered what that might be. When it came to him, he actually did not have much of a positive side to him. But I liked it when he was in his affectionate mode. Perhaps I liked him the way he was, without caring much of a single trait. 

Then did he like me for being smart? That was even not the question. The question was- Was I even smart?

It was true that I could remember words greatly and could say the exact same thing without missing a single thing. But I did not think it would make me smart. It was like vomiting words. 

'Ugh, I can't think of anything else that can make him fall for me! Then what about just like that? I mean, what if he fell for me just like that? It can happen... So, it's a sudden attraction, I guess.'

"By the way, Dem... why did you... fall for me?" I asked, not being able to control myself.

"I don't know. It was love at first sight, I guess..."

'Love at first sight? Is it you? Is it my husband? Why is he saying these types of things? And that's also with a straight face?'

"Ah, yes..."

"You don't believe me?" he asked, hearing my unenthusiastic voice. 

"No, it's not that... It's just... It's s-strange to... hear it... from you," I said. 

"Huh, then you don't believe me?" 

"I do!" I said quickly. "Don't say it like that... I-It makes... me look like... a bully."

"Even if you are," he hugged me more tightly, "I love you anyway."

"It's just you, you know," he added.. "I just love you."

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