Chapter 158: A World Without Me

(From Blue's Perspective)

When he came to my dress storing room, I was caught off guard. When I asked Ruby where he was, she said that he went to meet his mother. But when he came back, he looked like he was confused about something. 

Perhaps I knew what he was thinking about so intently. 

I took him to the garden because whenever I felt the night air against my skin, I would feel like all my worries going away. 

"What do you mean things have been strange?" he asked. 

"You know, when I first came here, I thought you and your mother had a very good relationship. You were friendly with her. But it was not the same after some time passed. As the days passed, it seemed you were distancing yourself from her. I even wondered a few times if it has something to do with me. But I think not."

"It's not even supposed to be like this," he said. "I am not supposed to have a good relationship with her. I mean, I told you what kind of mother she was. Since the beginning, I respected her, but I never loved her. I didn't even feel any kind of attachment with her. But I clearly remember talking to her as if I loved her so much and we were very close. Now that I think about it, there is no reason for me to behave like that."

"None Evelyn or I got the love of our parents. Father was very distant and once came to us to check our progress on learning what someone with Alpha blood needed to learn," he added. 

"I see... I understand how you feel. You know, I don't think everything is normal. I mean, why would you feel like you're missing a part of your life? Or why would you behave differently with your mother all of a sudden? These are all very strange."

"Do you think what Luc said might be true?" 

"It might be. And well, I have something to tell you as well."

"What is it?"

"Actually, the book you gave me. Do you know that there is a blank page in it?"

"A blank page? Yeah, I know. It's a rare book and there are very few editions of it. But in all of them, there are a few blank pages," he said. 

'So there are more blank pages? I read only that far, so I came across one only.'

"Do you know why?" I asked. 

"I don't think it's much of a concern. After noticing it first, I got it checked by Luc. But he said that there is no trace of any kind of magic. It might just be some kind of mistake, I think."

'Because the magic used by dark mages can be hidden, Luc did not notice anything. It surely is a job done by a very powerful dark mage.'

"I don't think that's the case only," I said. "Actually, when I was reading, I came across the very first blank page. If you read that part, you wouldn't feel like something is missing. But something is. If you read it a few times more attentively, you can feel that some kind of information is lacking. I felt that way too. I don't know what happened or why it happened, but my nose started bleeding. It seemed like I was much stressed all of a sudden like something was pulling my energy. When a few drops of blood fell on the blank page, words started to appear."

"What?"

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"Yeah," I nodded. "I wanted to tell you that time. But you brought the doctor before listening to me, so I couldn't tell you. Then you didn't even let me talk because the doctor told me to rest. It said, 'Welcome, dark mage. The book's power can only be unleashed by a dark mage. A dark mage is said to be a cursed being, but they are unaware of a dark mage's power. As a result, I, a fellow dark mage, have decided to place some very important and hidden information here for the sole benefit of dark mages.'." 

"Black-eyed werewolves have some unusual abilities, such as the ability to read minds and control darkness. The most dangerous thing they can do is absorb another dark mage's power by killing the dark mage. But it can only be done by a black-eyed werewolf who does not have any other ability. Since every male black-eyed werewolf has some kind of ability, it is not possible for them. But the female werewolves with black eyes who do not possess any kind of demonic ability can achieve a dark mage's power and use it. I am writing this to warn the dark mages who are reading this to be aware of black-eyed female werewolves. It is better to get rid of them before they get a chance. Because power can blind anyone and anyone can betray you. Most werewolves are unaware that a dark mage's power can only be unleashed by a dark mage. The more black mana a dark mage has, the more difficult it is to awaken their power. In that case, a dark mage who is more powerful than them can only awaken their power.  However, other dark mages who are less powerful than them or normal mages can sometimes awaken a small portion of a dark mage's power."

"What the... That's pretty... Then it means if someone reads this book, they might know what kind of power black-eyed werewolves have. That's really a problem. And controlling darkness? I can't control darkness though..."

"I think it means that one can control darkness while the other one can read minds. It doesn't mean the same person."

"But what's up with it that they can absorb another dark mage's power by killing that dark mage? And only females can do it because they sometimes don't have any kind of ability even though they are born with black eyes. Then they can use that dark mage's powers. It's really... But whatever it is, don't go near that book anymore."

"Eh? Why not?"

"It said that only a dark mage can unleash the book's power. For that, that dark mage has to use their power. Your powers aren't even awakened yet. Perhaps because Luc tried, it's awakened just a bit and because of that, you could unleash the book's power. And because of that, since you're not fully awakened, you couldn't control it and your nose started bleeding. It's dangerous for you to push yourself, even if you were not aware. So, it's better not to go near that book for the time being."

"Dem..."

"I am telling you. Listen to me," he said strictly. 

"Alright," I sighed. "I won't go near it anymore."

'Well, I still packed it with me though...'

"And for what you read, it said that as a dark mage, you need to be careful of black-eyed female werewolves."

"You don't mean..."

"Yes. No matter who is she is, you can't get too close to her. I know she is my mother, but still, keep your distance."

"But if she had to do something, she could have done it when you were away for a whole month."

"I know. But still, just keep your distance from her and all other black-eyed werewolves, if you meet one at the banquet. And I am not sure how much black mana you have. But I think that you have a lot since your father managed to reach you like that. So, we have to see if the dark mage I arranged can awaken your power or not. If not, then we have to look for another dark mage."

He sounded very anxious. I knew why. If my power was not awakened, there was a chance that I might die since I was pregnant with an Alpha's child. And I knew very correctly that Dem would do anything to keep that from happening, even if it meant to kill someone. 

His love was excessive, really excessive.

He gave me love even when I was not craving it. He loved me so dearly that I never felt that it was not enough. So, I tried to give him as much love as I could, so he would not feel like it was not enough. I was trying. I wanted to make sure that he would be alright even after I left. Perhaps I should just try to talk to him about it little by little and make him understand that a world without me was still worth living in. 

[You see, sometimes relationships fail because one person is loved too much, but the other person is not. Dem's love is truly excessive and he loves his wife no matter what. But Blue is also trying to love him a lot. Actually, it's not possible for her to reach his level, because his love is not normal.. He thinks completely differently from normal people, but still, Blue is trying her hardest. Best of luck, little Blue!]

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