Chapter 3: Chapter 1

"YOUUU!!! How dare you come here again! How many times have I told you, DON'T EVER SHOW YOUR DIRTY FACE IN FRONT OF ME!!!" A drunken old uncle angrily snaps at a shabby seven-year-old girl begging in front of his house. Maybe because he was still drunk, the uncle was so annoyed before finally, with his right foot, the old uncle kicked the girl while saying loud expulsion words, "If you want something to eat, FIND IT YOURSELF!!!"

“...Ouch!,...” and just like that, the girl easily fell on the pile of white snow.

"Damn, insolent child. Always an eyesore...”

*BANG*

Then the door slammed shut again as if hinting that it would never open again for the girl.

Expressionless and emotionless, a girl who was only 7 years old at the latest, who had just been yelled at and fallen over, with a heavy heart and physique, she tried to get up with her slender arms and then walked away in despair. Leaving the grumpy old uncle's house, with a staggering body.

"Hungry..... Thirsty... Cold..." that was the girl's complaint.

With heavy and staggering steps, the girl kept trying to walk step by step, hoping for leftover food, which might be obtained for nothing, wherever it was. Her stomach, which continued to survive without food, was already so angry that it choked the girl's stomach. The girl could only resign herself to survive and keep on fighting with a hope that must have been so futile, considering the existing conditions.

Wherever the girl went, she only got expulsion, indifference, and sometimes without hesitation that ended in torture. Naturally, this place was a poor slum area. Dilapidated houses were everywhere, and traces of fires and rubble were strewn about. If there is a famine, there will be no one to share the concern anymore. Everyone is already in trouble. They are only fighting for themselves, fighting for their bodies. She already knew that her steps would be in vain, but still, the girl tried not to give up. The hope never goes out. No one knows what prompted her, the girl just kept trying to hold on, like she was trying to keep an old promise she had made. Only with that, she could hang on to a glimmer of hope.

This night the year is almost over, and it will soon change in the cold season. The ground was white, and occasionally the snow fell quietly. Usually, this time is the busiest time around here. But, currently, only silence existed in the earth settlement. Without any celebration, and a word of welcome. Without having a party, no family will be happy. All residents are closed. It's rare to have a friendly and cheerful conversation here. All expressionless, selfish, like the cold snow on this ground.

*THUD*

Unable to hold her weight anymore, the girl stopped to take another step. And suddenly her body collapsed. Lying on the white streets that endlessly continue to paint themselves with white snow.

Trying to get up, the girl crawled to the side of the road and then sat down in a curled-up manner. With her hands, elbows, and knees clasped together, the girl tried to endure the cold, even though she already knew how pointless it was.

Without thick clothes, without a warm fireplace, and especially without food and drink, how could the girl survive? The clothes she was currently wearing were only used clothes she found from a pile of scattered trash. She was even barefoot in the middle of this snow. You can imagine how much pain her feet are in right now.

Even so, the girl did not give up on life. She vaguely remembered her promise. A promise in her childhood, which somehow she can have it. It feels warm and full of affection. The girl could feel it. So for the sake of that hope, she had to endure, protecting her will and mind.

And so, responding to her desire, the girl struggled once more. Forced and continued to defend herself by trying to put snow into her mouth.

Her weak hands stretched out to the ground, trying to grip the snow and bring it to her mouth.

'Unpleasant and so cold'. She thought. But what can she do? The girl wanted to try to do what she could to make herself survive. Even if it was dirt or snowballs, she would be willing to eat it. Only for the sake of keeping a promise she remembered.

But a useless thing will still be a futile struggle.

Before the girl had reached three mouthfuls, her eyes were already heavy. The chill that coursed through her body continued to increase and then suddenly without a word, the chill vanished like being consumed by an illusion.

'Is this a dream?', she thought.

Sensing that she was getting sleepy all of a sudden, the girl started blinking her eyes. Her vision became blurry and her mind already felt blank.

Until the girl could no longer hold back her eyes, she finally resignedly let go of her consciousness. The hand that had been half raised to her mouth fell back to the ground and spilled snowballs needlessly. Her red hands which had lost their warmth went limp and then became stiff.

With a heavy sigh and dry lips, the girl seemed to be trying to say something.

“M-mom, forgive Amy...” The girl already knew, if she fell asleep here, this time would be her longest sleep.

Thus, the girl resignedly gave up her consciousness, and then entered a deep slumber.

Incidentally that night the snow continued to fall, even as if responding to her long sleep, the snow fell more and more violently to form the biggest storm of the year. That way, the girl would later be buried alone in a pile of snow. Maybe that was her destiny, to make the snow her grave. Like the color of her mother, she always remembers.

And in the dark and with the heavy snow that hit the ground, the girl continued her dream, ignoring the snow that continues to bury her.

***

".....Warm?"

A morning sun shining golden red, showering me with its warmth.

“Hmm...? Where am I?”

After a breath of fresh air, I looked around, wondering where I was now.

Within my current field of vision, all I could see was a large field. But it is not a desert, nor is it a meadow or weeds, and nor is it a field where flowers bloom. Instead, it looked like a field filled with crystals that glittered golden red like the color of twilight. What's more, the crystals are shaped like blooming flowers that seem to release the charm of the twilight.

That's the strange world I'm currently walking in. Everywhere there were only crystal flowers blooming, reflecting the enchantment of the twilight as if this world was experiencing eternal twilight.

‘Crystal flower?’ That’s right. More accurately it was probably flowers made of frozen icicles. ‘How pretty is that…’

That's why they looked like crystals in bloom, like flowers scattered across this vast land.

The sky was the color of twilight, the land glistened with the charm of twilight, and time even seemed twilight forever. With all that, let's just call this world The Desert of Twilight. Because after all, it's like a twilight-themed world.

And that's me, who is currently standing in the middle of it all.

But strangely there was one open side, forming a straight stone path that cut through the horizon. And at the far end, I can see a magnificent silver-golden palace. It was probably several tens of kilometers away, but because of the height and size of the palace, it was so clear that it could be seen from here. And strangely, it looks like the palace is also made of ice because the palace is also silver which reflects the golden glare of the sunset. Making the palace look like a twilight palace.

Then somehow my thought process, I feel like I have to go there. Perhaps it's more accurately called intuition, although it feels like a whisper telling me to head there immediately.

Then, no matter what awaited me, my only choice must be advancing.

I raised my bare feet and stepped lightly.

That's right, it's strange there, right now I'm barefoot like before, but somehow here I've changed clothes, which used to be shabby clothes that came from a pile of trash, now I'm wearing a layer of pure white clothes, which extends from the shoulders to cover the knees.

But who cares about that now, after all, I've stopped thinking about why I'm here in the first place. Just save all the mystery for now and move on, maybe the answer is just out there waiting.

*STEP, STEP, STEP.....*

Then, until maybe hundreds of steps passed, I stopped and now focus on staring at the building in front of me.

A large and elegant palace, maybe that's the picture. Also, this palace seems to be proud of its height. Even though there were no railings and no guards, the stairs leading to the front door were already very high. Especially if you look straight up, the spire of the palace tower surpasses the clouds. There was no way anyone would be able to survive if they were told to climb.

Even so, I stepped foot up the stairs without hesitation. Because that's what my mind convinced me.

And sure enough, during the climb, I thought, why don't I feel tired at all, even though I have passed hundreds of stairs?

What's going on with me?

Well, that only adds to the mystery slot that fills my mind. Just think about it later.

So, without caring about solving the problem, I continued to walk toward the top of the stairs. It took several dozen hours, if you add up, from the start I walked, just to reach the main door.

It's a very fantastically decorated door. It was five three times my height, and all made of ice, like this castle. The patterns and curves it makes look so elegant. The ornaments that carved the door also looked as divine as the gates of heaven depicted in fairy tales. Maybe the description will be different from ordinary people's imagination, but in my opinion, this door deserves to be called the door of heaven.

This door has two leaves, in the middle of which is engraved the symbol of a white star flanked by two winged white animals like lions in flight, trying to reach for the star.

Well, this must be a very flashy door.

Then on impulse, without hesitation, I pushed open the door, and it opened easily without causing any disturbing screams.

And as soon as I stepped my foot through the door...

"Welcome Amy, I've been waiting for you."

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...a greeting suddenly came surprising me.

The greeting came from a woman with long white hair who looked beautiful and had a holy aura. She was wearing an all-white dress with lots of cloth decorating it. And from the way she had come, she looked like she was descending from the top of a tall tower, like an angel fallen from heaven.

As soon as the woman approached me, her outstretched hand gently stroked my cheek, as if she were my mother.

I, who was still expressionless, accepted this treatment silently without hesitation.

"....Who---?" I asked the woman, tilting my head slightly.

I don't recognize the figure of this woman, but somehow there is a slightly nostalgic feeling that settles in my heart, maybe that's what makes me not avoid it when my cheeks are caressed.

But the way I talk feels weird. Is it because I haven't talked much lately?

“My goodness, what a hard life you've been through, to eliminate the emotions in your heart. Even so, there are remnants in your heart that continue to keep you pure. I am thankful that you were untainted by sin until the end.”

The woman didn't answer my question, instead babbling something else, which for some reason the chatter seemed to see deep into me.

“……?” I tilted my head once more, in response not understanding what she meant.

“...Ahem. Well, back to the point, about your question, who am I, it doesn't matter. Just call me one of the 'Heaven's Stars'. What is the 'Heaven's Star'? No further explanation. The important thing I want to confirm with you is that you, Amy, are currently dead. That's why you can be here.”

Removing her hand from my cheek, this woman started to explain what happened.

“....I-Is that...so...?” I just replied with a blank expression, understanding half as a result and not understanding the rest.

And what I understand, it's already as I expected.

I'm dead, that's a fact. I know it.

But even so, there still seems to be an irregularity in this heart that screams full of regret. It's like not accepting reality.

“…But don't worry, I will help you, Amy.”

And that woman, as if answering my worries, comforted me while gently patting my head.

“You have fought very hard Amy, it must hurt, right? With all that. You've managed to hold it in until now. But you can rest easy now, you're free Amy. You are free from all that suffering. You don't need to hold it in any longer, you are free to let it out as much as you like.”

She paused for a moment before finally letting out a soft sigh with a regretful voice that I couldn't hear. “……I'm sorry I couldn't accompany you.”

This woman then hugs me which gives a sense of memories from inside me. The warmth that I never felt again, suddenly like a storm, began to wrap around me again. Feels nostalgic, but makes me feel frustrated. I do not know what to do. Just thinking about it makes my chest hurt.

What is all this about? Why should I suffer?

The emotions that were buried deep suddenly started to return and overflowed flooding my heart.

Pain, despair, suffering, and so on always make me feel close to giving up every time. Even so, there is still a wall in my heart that keeps me going, not giving up, and continuing to endure the pain to this day.

But now that it was as if the wall had been broken down, all the pent-up emotions suddenly rushed through the body, stimulating several nerves to express feelings.

I who should have forgotten how to vent my emotions slowly sobbed into that woman's chest. Remembering the pain and all the suffering I had to go through before, made me feel very depressed.

"Don't worry, you are free now, nothing will make you suffer anymore, I can guarantee it."

Saying so, I felt this woman's embrace getting warmer now, giving me a feeling of security and bringing back happy memories I had forgotten.

Don't know what else to do. I can only escape, continue to cry in the arms of that woman. This overflowing feeling of warmth, like giving me a deep sense of longing. So I, without any more worries, somehow became easy to voice once again.

........

......

...

I don't know how long I cried in this woman's arms. So I shyly let go.

"It seems you've started to calm down Amy," Releasing her arms, the woman squatted down, aligned her eyes with mine, and wiped the remaining tears in the corners of my eyes. "May I speak for a moment?"

"Hmm...?" Still sobbing a little, I muttered, not knowing what she meant.

“Even a little bit, I already know what you want……In short, there's a part of you that hasn't given up on surviving, right? I can feel it because that light of hope still hasn't gone out from the bottom of your heart.”

I don't understand what she's talking about.

"The point is, Amy still has a promise not to give up survival, right?"

When the woman said that, like an epiphany, suddenly small memories of myself slowly emerged, which once again gave me the feeling of not giving up. True, in me has firmly planted a promise that has shaped my life to this day.

A promise not to give up, a promise to hold on, and a promise to live life with a smile. But as time goes by, slowly the promise that I remember also fades. Only the determination to live on defines that promise to the end.

“...I-I, I still don't want to die...!” With a slight falter, I conveyed my resolve that was starting to bloom.

“Good, that's right, you still haven't given up on living, have you?” Convinced of my answer, the woman nodded in satisfaction.

“But...” Even so, I still felt doubts. Considering how hard it was just to survive back then.

"I know, with a situation like that, you will only continue to suffer, especially since you are still small."

“...” I pondered, faltering a bit in my resolve. But immediately removed after this woman's answer.

“Therefore, I will give Amy some help and advice from the heavens.”

“'Help', 'advice'...? What does it mean?" I don't quite understand what that means.

“Right, you're confused aren't you, how to survive in that abnormal condition? The answer is easy, you just have to let it go. Follow your life path. Follow the steps of your heart. I don't know how other people treat you, but just let it be. You just have to accept it, and let it stay like ice. Weak ice will melt if exposed to hot air. Then you only need to become the only immortal ice, which can even freeze the magma sea.”

“Become icy cold, and freeze the sea of magma...?” I don't understand why she spoke with so much implicit meaning.

"....Hmmm? Well, that's how it is, for now, I'll help you as I said."

After that, the woman kept patting my head, and for some reason, her hand glowed, like it was pouring warmth into me. Even so, this doesn't bother me, instead, this warmth makes me very comfortable.

“That is a blessing from me, it will take care of you after you wake up later…”

Wake up? Does that mean when I come back to life? Can I come back to life?

Then, as if I had been swallowed up by light, my consciousness clouded, and I was subconsciously in the dream world once again.

***

After sending Amy back into her body, which was just a wandering soul before, the woman gently sat down on an ice chair she made, as if coming out of the darkness.

“...I'm sorry, Amy. I hope you can be happy and find warmth for yourself.”

Gently looking at the evening sky, the woman only hoped that Amy's life could match that person's wishes.

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