Chương 72: For Sichuan!

“Hey guys, whassup in the house?” I walk into the room with a big salute.

Inside of it, ten Chinese boys turn their faces when they hear me.

I meet XIAO SHUI and TIAN HUO’s eyes. One is beaming and waving energetically at me while the other seems concerned.

“Are you … alone?” TIAN HUO asks me in Omen.

“Ah, yes, hahaha.” I laugh. “Boobies has some very important business she can’t miss, but don’t worry, I’m extremely dependable!”

“I see…” TIAN HUO looks much more worried about this than he should be, and I must admit it almost makes me feel insulted. Does he think I’m that unreliable compared to Boobies??

I mean, she is great and all, but I’m a professional too, you know?!

Ah, now that I think about it, when was the last time I went on a mission without her…?

Wait, did I ever go in a mission without Boobies at all?

No… In fact, my first mission ever was the one where I met her…

This is actually making me worried all of a sudden, is this going to go well?!

Well, I don’t even know what I’m engaged in, this mission might actually be very easy after all.

“So what are we going to do?” I ask, feeling more confident all of a sudden. This can’t be harder than the auction, right?

“We’re going to capture some yakuza!” XIAO SHUI exclaims, his thumb risen.

Eh…

Notto disu shitto agen???!!

I thought we were done with the yakuza!! These guys are completely insane! Aren’t they the ones who beat up TIAN SHUI and TIAN HUO in combat too?! This is completely insane!!!

I gaze at TIAN HUO who seems to understand my telepathic signals. “This time it should be easier,” he says, “there shouldn’t be that many of them and they’re not in their own territory, in the middle of the ocean.”

This is indeed reassuring, so why is he still making a face like he would have preferred if it was Boobies who came instead of me?!

“Shixiong is right! This is Chinatown, it’s our territory, the tables have turned!” XIAO SHUI continues, acclaimed by the others.

This boy seems pretty popular…

TIAN HUO nods and resumes his explanation in Mandarin. “The Dong Huong hasn’t paid its tribute for the past 3 weeks. Some superiors suspect that this is due to the yakuza gaining influence in Chinatown. You must also be aware that they have increased their skirmishes against us and some of our comrades have been assassinated … or captured… We can’t stay passive in such a situation or our reputation will inevitably go down, and more shops and restaurants like the Dong Huong won’t pay their tributes anymore. And without the tributes… No more Sichuan cuisine in our canteen…”

“NOOO!” A boy starts screaming, followed by a couple of others.

“WHAT ARE WE GOING TO EAT?!”

“THEY AREN’T HUMAN!!”

“I know…” TIAN HUO nods dramatically. “This is why we need this mission to be a success.”

What the hell am I witnessing?

“Uh…” I begin. “What is this Dong Huong exactly?”

“It’s a renowned gourmet Vietnamese restaurant, the biggest and most famous of the district.” TIAN HUO explains.

“Vietnamese?!” I respond, confused.

“Are you an idiot?” One of the boys suddenly intervenes. “Every Asian restaurant in Chinatown is a tributary of the Triads, it doesn’t matter if they’re Chinese or not.”

“Just like at the time of Da Ming!” One of them exclaims, though I have no clue what he’s talking about.

“So you’re telling me that you’re receiving money from Japanese restaurants too?”

“Naturally.”

“Maybe that is why they hate you.” I frown.

“You don’t get it, it’s give-and-take. We help them avoid taxes and protect their rights in case of juridical issues. We also defend them if they get robbed or anything else in exchange for their tributes. We’re exactly like an insurance.” TIAN HUO raises his finger like a school teacher.

“Yes, I do get that part.” I shake my head. “They don’t have any interest in keeping paying it if they feel you’re useless, or if they have someone else that does the job better or cheaper.”

“She gets it…” TIAN HUO seems to not believe his eyes, which makes me honestly wonder what his image of me is.

“So we just have to show them that they are wrong!” XIAO SHUI exclaims, raising his fist in the air.

“YEAH!” The other boys exclaim in response.

“FOR SICHUAN!”

“FOR SICHUAN!”

 

---

 

“TSUMI MO AI MO KAERIMIZU~”

My favourite song from one of the most popular contemporary artists is blasting in my earphones, so my attention doesn’t get diverted by the noises outside of my office.

However, it does get diverted by how great this music is, so I totally stop working for the entire five minutes that it lasts, banging my head and singing along with passion.

“ANATA NO SOBA DEEEE WARA U YOOOOO~!”

“SEBETE SOBA NIII IRUUU!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

An unexpected woman violently slaps the door open and enters my office while continuing the song I was singing, which makes me jump and scream by how sudden her intrusion is.

“Ohohohhhh my TADPOLE, did I scare you? I’m so sorry!”

The woman called GON, who is only wearing sloppy trousers and bloodied bandages around her breasts as if they were sarashi, catches me midair and presses my body against her so hard that I swear I can hear my bones get crunched.

“Wh-” I can’t even respond or fight back.

“My cute, sweet, beautiful, adorable TADPOLE, ahhhh how I missed you~!”

‘Didn’t we see each other yesterday and the day before?’ I want to ask, but she answers anyway.

“All this time I was surrounded by either TORA, or UMA or DORA or Ohime-sama…! Ahhh I had to look strong-willed and dignified in front of them! If only you knew how hard it was, how much I restrained myself to not embrace you as soon as I saw you. I thought I was about to die of mental strains!”

And here I thought she finally stopped…

“Ohhh my TADPOLE, you are soooo perfect, so diligent, so smart, so good-looking, when shall we get married?!”

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How many times should I tell her that I’m not interested…?

“Ahhh, but your scary, scary sister… She’s like a wild bear, you know that? You should choose me instead of her! Look how bad she hurt me, this animal!”

Ah, so this is the reason for the bandages…

She finally puts me down, letting me catch my breath and I realize that my cardigan is stained with the blood from her bandages.

“But for the nth time, TADPOLE: why is your office so empty?! I can help you decorate it! Do you like plants? I happen to have a really big aloe vera that would fit there amazingly.”

“I … I don’t need anything.” I respond out of breath and sit down on my chair.

“Are you sure…? Isn’t it sad and austere like this?” She pouts.

“I prefer it when it’s simple.”

“This is more than simple, it’s simplistic! Minimalistic! Microscopic!”

“The last word isn’t really true.”

“No, you, TADPOLE, are microscopic! In fact, I want to study you with a microscope!” She pinches my cheeks with her hands.

“P-please stop, you’re bothering me during my work.”

“What work? You were singing before I came in.”

“Were you listening behind my door…?”

“Yes! I happen to always come and listen behind your door during my free time!” She shamelessly explains.

“Please, don’t force me to ask for bodyguards…”

“What bodyguards? I’ll beat them all up! The only bodyguard I can’t beat is the wild bear, and she’s busy on the other side of the island, but there isn’t a single guy in this company that I can’t handle on my own. Oh, but don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody that you were singing! Your voice is so pretty too, and your eyes are just like tiny little gems. God, I wish I could eat you!!!” She hugs me again.

“P-please leave me alone, I beg you. I need to put my cardigan in the laundry now…”

“Ah!” She finally realizes and pushes me back on the chair, then runs away and comes back five seconds later with her black leather biker jacket with a baby dinosaur drawn on it. “Here, wear this!” She hands it to me.

“I can’t wear this indoors … nor outdoors for that matter…” I respond, but she tugs on my cardigan.

“Come on, take it off! Don’t worry, I’m your future wife, so there is nothing shameful about it!”

Just as I am starting to actually beg for higher powers to come save me from this predicament, a voice sounds from the corridor that leads to my office: “GON!”

The man named DORA appears on the doorstep and witnesses a shameful scene.

Fortunately, he doesn’t seem the kind to repeat whatever he sees, or so I thought, before he turns around and announces loudly that nobody should enter my office because ‘love must not be meddled with.’

I squeeze my way out of her grasp and jump out of my office.

This is not how I envisioned love! Why must every girl around me be insane?!

“DORA, SAVE ME!” I cry, too scared to look back.

DORA catches me in his large, hairy arms and pats my head to comfort me. “You know, TADPOLE… Sometimes love takes many forms, so we should be prepared for each.”

“BUT I DON’T LOVE HER!!”

I open my wet eyes to see GON who looks at me with a pained smile, dropping her beloved jacket on the ground.

Taken aback by her sudden change of expression and hurt by my own words, I raise my hand. “I-I mean…”

But nothing comes out of my mouth.

DORA, who visibly had something to say to GON earlier, grabs this opportunity to announce her: “Ohime-sama sends you on patrol.”

GON, still in shock, silently turns around and walks away.

 

---

 

“Why must it be during the rainy season?!” Abhi complains.

“Are we supposed to stop working for a whole season?” I argue back. “And stop complaining, we’re there.”

We enter the Stargazer, our raincoats and boots drenched from the torrential rain.

I help Abhi remove his coat and dry his face with a handkerchief. “At least your hair didn’t get wet.” I sigh.

“Welcome, Miss ARTEMIS.” A receptionist comes to meet with us and shows us the way, which I already know, to the golden hall.

In the middle of it, the Banta himself is there. I look left and right, perplexed. I was sure I saw a parasite’s silhouette when we came in, but it has disappeared, so it must have been my imagination.

“Thank you for coming on such a short notice.” The Banta tilts his head, making his earring chime softly.

“It honestly wasn’t the best of days, but we managed anyway.” I respond.

“I’m sorry, we are incredibly busy this season in particular, and finally finding a hole in my schedule, I tried to contact you as soon as possible.” He turns his head to Abhi. “And this is the Tiban… Yes, he’s very cute, you weren’t lying.”

“His name is Abhi.”

“Abhi…?” He tilts his head again. “Where does it come from? Oh, hang on, we should go to my office now, please, follow me.”

We follow him into the elevator, in which he types a code rapidly, then shows his eye to a retinal scanner, and presses the button that leads to the 98^th floor.

I didn’t know elevators could go that high, but I guess these people’s engineering is no joke.

We finally reach a floor entirely dedicated to what I assume to be the Banta’s office. It’s bathed in a dim green light and is circled by large windows, that allows us to admire a gigantic tree that is standing on the other side.

Abhi’s eyes widen and I admit this sight is breathtaking, even for me.

“I’ve never seen a tree this big.” I say.

The Banta smiles, walking all the way around his desk. “This is the Banta, the real one. My title is only borrowed from it. It’s a sacred tree for us, the boy should know it.”

Abhi shakes his head. “I don’t…” He responds, ashamed.

“Abhi hasn’t grown up with Tibans at all. He’s only ever been with me and his uncle.”

The Tiban shows us the chairs in front of his desk and asks us to sit down.

After we are seated, he runs his hand through a folder and looks me in the eyes. “ARTEMIS and Abhi… There are many things we must talk about, but first of all…” He pulls a wooden basket out of one of his desk’s drawers; a basket that is filled with spongy, creamy, green and yellow, fruity-smelling pieces of a cake. “Shall we partake?”

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