Chapter 12: Eleven

“I was wondering why you brought Maria back here…so this is the reason why,” Theo said calmly, tossing the newspaper onto the dressing table. “Bratukha, ARE YOU NUTS??” 

“Listen to me, Theo,” Xavier tried to convince him. “We did it once, it’s not impossible to—” 

“NO, no, no, bratukha, you listen to me,” he insisted in a scary voice. “This is even more stupid than getting your ass impaled by a shrub twice, you understand? You are a conman, not a goddamn doctor! How in the world are you going to come out of the palace alive, you tell me? They’ll see through you in a blink of an eye!”

“But—” 

“And not only that, you plan on dragging a child into your suicidal plan?!” Theo yelled, pointing his finger at Maria. “You finally upgraded from kidnapper to murderer, huh?” 

“Can you just hear me out first?” Xavier snapped, an exasperated look on his face. “Look, I’m more aware than anyone here that I’m just a lowly conman who, I don’t know, crossdresses for the fun of it. But here’s the thing—it says there that ‘any individual able to cure Her Highness’, doesn’t it?” 

“So?” Theo spat. “What, do you plan on becoming the Archbishop?” 

“Close guess.” Xavier gave him a reckless smile. “Tell me which public figure has the highest authority in your hometown, Theo?”

“Why are you suddenly asking about my hometown?” he said reproachfully. “If you’re talking about the Königreich, then it will no doubt be Frau Kaiserin, the Saintess who leads the Kievsta Orthodox Church—no way you are going to…” 

“Yes way,” Xavier said firmly. “The distance between the empire and the Königreich is something that will take a ship more than half a year to cross. Even if I impersonate the Saintess and the King sends an inquiry to the Kievsta Orthodox Church, I’ll be long gone from this empire before my cover is blown. Furthermore, judging by the size of the reward, I reckon that poor old man is too desperate to question the identity of the Saintess.” 

“...okay, fine.” Theo folded his arms across his chest. “Fine! Let’s say you manage to impersonate the Saintess. Then how are you going to explain your sudden appearance in the empire, huh? Last I checked, the Saintess doesn’t travel out of the Königreich unless it’s for a religious visit.” 

“Then we make my appearance not sudden, that’s all.” Xavier pointed his finger at him. “I need you to forge an official letter sent by the Königreich to inform His Majesty of the Saintess’ impromptu visit to the Pope.” 

“You—” Theo winced in pain and clutched his buttocks. “I put too much pressure, the cotton ball just got sucked into my ass hole!”

“For fuck’s sake, Maria’s here. Do you need to announce your kink to the whole world?”

 

---

 

Xavier’s plan, which he meticulously detailed on the wall of the master bedroom in plain chalk, was well underway—though there was disagreement between two of the participants on the second-last stage. 

“Bratukha, I haven’t been home for so long, how can I possibly remember the Saintess’ handwriting?” Theo said with a frustrated voice after crushing his fifth draft into a ball and hurling it at the wall. “I don’t even know what her signature looks like!” 

“Just write in a way that looks feminine enough, is it that hard?” Xavier muttered as he leaned against the door. “How about you let me write instead?” 

“You can write, you peasant boy?” Theo rejoined, but he handed him the quill and stepped aside. 

“Though I’m a conman, I had my fair share of forgeries too, alright?” He dipped the tip of the quill into the tiny glass inkwell, waited for the channel to fill, and proceeded to pen down the date on the top of a new sheet of paper.

Solis 4th, 592nd Cetheri Year

He made sure that the first letter ‘S’ was calligraphed beautifully with elaborate curls, as if written in a delicate yet steadfast hand. The letter ‘C’ of the word ‘Cetheri’ was also given the same intricate treatment to express the Saintess’ respect for King Cetheri. 

“What do you think?” He showed the sheet to Theo with a proud smile. 

“...” Theo remained quiet, but there was a look of approval in his eyes. 

Xavier waited for the ink to dry before re-dipping the quill and writing the main content of the letter.

To His Excellency, King Cetheri the VI

Her Grace The Saintess of Kievsta thank you most sincerely for your generosity in honouring her impromptu visit to the Pope of the Aetherium Empire dated Solis 3rd for the purpose of cross-religion talks. 

You are reading story This crossdressing fake Saintess must cure Her Highness! at novel35.com

Her Grace was very concerned to learn about the deteriorating health of Her Highness Princess Anastasia, and would wish to pass on her heartfelt prayers and thoughts to the royal family.  

The Saintess of Kievsta would also like to convey her very warmest regards to you and your people and wishes the very best to you all. 

Yours Sincerely 

 

He paused at the space where he should sign the letter and directed a glance at Theo. “By any chance, do you know what the Saintess’ birth name is?” 

“Her Grace’s birth name?” Theo furrowed his brows in deep thought. “I remember back when she first ascended to the position of Saintess, many of her critics ridiculed her birth name as too masculine…what was it again? Ra…Rasputina, I think that was her birth name.”

Xavier thought for a moment on how to craft the fake signature from scratch. “The ‘R’ should be the centerpiece, then the middle letters are written on its long stroke, and the last ‘a’ would be stylised with a downwards brush stroke…” 

He picked the quill up and traced the rough outline and size of the signature in mid-air before scratching it out on the bottom of the paper. “There we go, it’s done.” 

“Let me see.” Theo leaned over to the dressing table and studied the fake letter. “I say…it can probably pass as a legitimate letter from the Saintess if you showed it to the palace guards.” 

“I don’t care about the palace guards, I need this to convince the King,” Xavier pointed out. 

Theo shrugged his shoulders and glanced down at the letter. “It depends on whether His Majesty knows the Saintess’ handwriting and signature beforehand. If he doesn’t know, it might just be enough to deceive the old man.”

Xavier nodded his head and smiled. “If the master forger says so, then I ought to praise myself for a job well done.” 

“...” Theo shook his head in jest as he sat down at the dressing table and began making the finishing touches—stamping the letter with the seal of the Kievsta Orthodox Church and the full coat of arms of the Königreich. “Where’s Maria, by the way?” 

Xavier looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and shrugged. “That girl should be back anytime—” 

The soft knock on the door interrupted him, and with a knowing smile, he opened the door for Maria to enter. “Little miss, I was just wondering if you got lost.”

“The tailor’s daughter asked me a lot of questions regarding the order, and it took me some time to shake her off…” Maria produced the familiar brown paper bag from the tailor. “Big brother Xavier, are you really going to wear this?” 

“Watch, little miss, your big brother here will now transform to big sister.” Xavier donned the blonde hair wig and shook the locks loose, adjusting the wavy curls at the ends of the wig to fall over his shoulders in a natural manner. Next, he removed the pair of new contacts he bought from the optometrist and carefully slid them into position across the front of his eyeballs. Blinking to accustom himself to the contact lens, he looked in the mirror and was pleased to see that his usual brown eyes had now taken a feminine reddish-pink hue.

“Big brother—no, big sister Xavier, you look amazing!” Maria exclaimed, clapping her tiny hands together in delight. 

Even Theo stopped his work momentarily to appraise the would-be Saintess’ appearance. “The contacts really do help to embellish your girly look, huh.”

“Your compliment doesn’t sound like a compliment at all,” Xavier muttered as he moved on to the tailor’s package. Opening it up, a pure white full-length gown greeted his wide eyes, complete with a matching gold-trimmed veil and white evening gloves. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought it was a wedding dress; no wonder the tailor’s daughter was so curious about it.

“M-Maria, can you help me with the strings?” he mumbled, fumbling along his back with his hands to no avail. 

“Okay, big sis Xavier!” She tip-toed and skillfully tied the neck strings and back strings of the gown in place, then helped place the veil atop the wig while he slipped on the gloves. 

“Alright, looks like that’s everything.” Xavier turned to the mirror to check his reflection. 

The hazy evening sun rays filtered into the room through the thin curtains and fell on her cheek just so, highlighting her soft, luminous skin. Her blonde hair had an almost golden sheen to it as it cascaded down to her bare shoulders, embellished by her sheer gold-trimmed veil. Her striking vermillion-pink eyes invited anyone who looked at them to drown in their depths.

Her soft pink lips curved upwards into a pleasant smile and she did a mock bow.

“I am Saintess Rasputina of Kievsta, pleased to make your acquaintance.”

 

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