Those Years In Quest Of Honour Mine
The moment Zhong Wan had stopped talking, Yu She’s eyes grew bloodshot. Coupled with his long hair that lay in disarray, at first glance he truly seemed under the influence of evil spirits.
Zhong Wan’s words ripped off the Buddhist decree containing the malicious spirit in Yu She’s heart that could destroy the heavens and earth. A roar, and it could pounce out.
With firm restraint, Yu She said in a hoarse voice, “I can… do anything?”
Zhong Wan’s earlobes flushed, heart pounding like crazy. “Yes,” he said near whisper.
And Yu She clenched his jaws so tightly that creaks could be heard.
Zhong Wan thought, it’s over, it’s over. I probably said something wrong again. That look of his… I’m afraid he won’t be “gentle.”
This appearance of Yu She was indeed frightening. Scared witless, Zhong Wan thought, if I wait a while, Yu She might f*ck me to death. Once my soul reaches hell, reunites with my parents who died young, and meets with Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning, how should I explain this? If I see Imperial Preceptor Shi, then what path ought I take?
Scared, yet not wanting to leave, Zhong Wan stuttered softly, “This is m-my first time…”
At his last straw, Yu She roared, “Shut up!”
Not a word escaped Zhong Wan’s lips.
Without him realizing it, Yu She’s arms shook. The wide robe draped over his upper body slipped down his shoulders. Zhong Wan hesitated, before reaching out in a probing manner, fixing the robe.
If he weren’t afraid of overeaching, of provoking Yu She, Zhong Wan definitely would have thrown his arms around him in an embrace.
Yu She raised his head. Stared at Zhong Wan. In a daze, he lifted his hand to pinch Zhong Wan’s arm once.
Zhong Wan gasped in pain. And Yu She calmed.
Alive.
Coafg mbcolgwlcu atlr, tf ifjcfv abkjgv Itbcu Qjc, jr lo tf kfgf jc fztjerafv kliv yfjra, jvperalcu tlr ygfjatlcu yla ys yla. C ktlif ijafg, tlr fzqgfrrlbc gfmbnfgfv. Lf gbrf ab tlr offa. Mlzfv tlr mbiijg, jcv lc qjrrlcu, mbwyfv tlr wfrrs ibcu tjlg.
Te Vtf gfagfjafv akb rafqr, mbecafcjcmf qjif.
Ears blooming red, Zhong Wan said, “I know you don’t believe me, but I really don’t have anything to request of you. Today I seriously—”
“I know.”
The previous ridicule in Yu She’s eyes vanished, a complicated gaze replacing it as he looked at Zhong Wan. Near whisper, he said, “For this reason, even more so I cannot…”
Zhong Wan was at a loss. Even more so could not what?
Not waiting for him to speak again, Yu She turned around. “Follow me.”
Yu She picked up a candlestick, leading Zhong Wan all the way to the inner courtyard. Entered Yu She’s bedroom.
Zhong Wan looked at Yu She from behind the latter, throat tightening a hint.
This was the first time after their reunion that he saw Yu She wearing this few clothes.
Compared to his youth self, Yu She had grown much taller, shoulders stretching wide, lower back all the more long and straight. At present, he only had a thin outer garment on. It couldn’t have made Zhong Wan’s mind wander more than it had.
Yu She set the candlestick down. As if extremely determined, he said, “I don’t want to guess why you suddenly came over today, nor would I question you closely about it. Since you, you…”
Yu She’s back faced Zhong Wan. After a moment, he said, “Since you want to stay here, I will allow you to stay in my room for one night. However, any more than this… Don’t even think about it.”
Zhong Wan remained silent.
He felt he had been splashed with an invisible bucket of water all over his body, the mood prior completely washed away.
Cautious, Zhong Wan asked, “Then if during the night… something happened, whose fault would it be?”
Fire burst from Yu She’s eyes. He painstakingly endured his anger as he said, “If I don’t want it, then nothing will happen.”
Zhong Wan was at a loss for words, the bit of attraction in his chest thoroughly dispersing. Not wanting to provoke Yu She’s unhappiness, he forced a smile. “Then I’ll sleep in the outer chamber.”
“No need.” Yu She glanced at Zhong Wan, wanting to say something but hesitating. In the end, he said, “Since you came over so late… I’ll fulfill your wishes halfway.”
Zhong Wan, who had his wishes fulfilled halfway, lay down on the bed in a complicated mood. Thought that his trip here today had been utterly stupid.
It’d be great if Yu She truly had a bit of affection for him. But if everything had just been Zhong Wan showering affection on an uninterested party, then in the future… one would fear Yu She would get around him and leave.
Zhong Wan imagined pulling Yu She out of the muddy pond. Imagined giving advice to him. Imagined becoming Yu She’s trusted aide. However, in all of China’s history, who would want to sleep with their own trusted aide?
As Zhong Wan told himself not to imagine his feelings were reciprocated, he could not help but ask in a straightforward manner, “Heir… Do you prefer women?”
Lying on the outer side of the bed with his body stretched taut, Yu She froze. He furrowed his brows. “No.”
Zhong Wan grunted his acknowledgement. Hesitated before saying, “Then do you want children?”
This question drove Yu She annoyed the most. “No.”
Zhong Wan’s throat tightened. He took his time saying, “So what—do you know what… happens there?”
In the darkness, Yu She did not respond.
Zhong Wan was not afraid of being shameless. He said in a soft voice, “Even if we did something, I can’t get pregnant. So don’t worry…”
He was very familiar with the side courtyard. Lying here, he could not help but for a moment think they had returned to seven years prior. As such, he relaxed immensely, daring to speak more. “Yu She, you don’t have any concubines yet. Are you—”
“Zhong Wan,” said Yu She in a cold manner all of a sudden. “Men who are over fifteen and say they don’t know those things are only pretending. You should understand this more than I do, right?”
These words embarrassed Zhong Wan.
Yu She closed his eyes. Drowsy. A moment later, he opened them again. Agitated, he said, “It’s not that I don’t know how to do it that I didn’t do you today! I just… don’t want to.”
Zhong Wan courted a rebuff, whispering, “Mm.”
Incredulous, Yu She said, “Just what are you people thinking every day? I merely go mad every now and then. Even if I’m a super lunatic, who would say a lunatic can’t do these things?”
Zhong Wan’s face flushed. Stammered, “I-I was just afraid you didn’t know.”
He could not help but say to Yu She, “I’m telling you that men truly can’t get pregnant.”
At the end of his patience, Yu She sat up.
Zhong Wan’s heart tensed up.
Under the moonlight, Yu She looked at Zhong Wan. In a low voice, he said, “Zhong Wan… I don’t want to leave behind descendants. But if you can get pregnant, then I would actually want to keep it.”
Yu She bent his body down a shade, thinking aloud, “But how could I get you pregnant…?”
Chapter 41: CH 35.1
Zhong Wan’s words ripped off the Buddhist decree containing the malicious spirit in Yu She’s heart that could destroy the heavens and earth. A roar, and it could pounce out.
With firm restraint, Yu She said in a hoarse voice, “I can… do anything?”
Zhong Wan’s earlobes flushed, heart pounding like crazy. “Yes,” he said near whisper.
And Yu She clenched his jaws so tightly that creaks could be heard.
Zhong Wan thought, it’s over, it’s over. I probably said something wrong again. That look of his… I’m afraid he won’t be “gentle.”
This appearance of Yu She was indeed frightening. Scared witless, Zhong Wan thought, if I wait a while, Yu She might f*ck me to death. Once my soul reaches hell, reunites with my parents who died young, and meets with Prince Ning and Princess Consort Ning, how should I explain this? If I see Imperial Preceptor Shi, then what path ought I take?
Scared, yet not wanting to leave, Zhong Wan stuttered softly, “This is m-my first time…”
At his last straw, Yu She roared, “Shut up!”
Not a word escaped Zhong Wan’s lips.
Without him realizing it, Yu She’s arms shook. The wide robe draped over his upper body slipped down his shoulders. Zhong Wan hesitated, before reaching out in a probing manner, fixing the robe.
If he weren’t afraid of overeaching, of provoking Yu She, Zhong Wan definitely would have thrown his arms around him in an embrace.
Yu She raised his head. Stared at Zhong Wan. In a daze, he lifted his hand to pinch Zhong Wan’s arm once.
Zhong Wan gasped in pain. And Yu She calmed.
Alive.
Coafg mbcolgwlcu atlr, tf ifjcfv abkjgv Itbcu Qjc, jr lo tf kfgf jc fztjerafv kliv yfjra, jvperalcu tlr ygfjatlcu yla ys yla. C ktlif ijafg, tlr fzqgfrrlbc gfmbnfgfv. Lf gbrf ab tlr offa. Mlzfv tlr mbiijg, jcv lc qjrrlcu, mbwyfv tlr wfrrs ibcu tjlg.
Te Vtf gfagfjafv akb rafqr, mbecafcjcmf qjif.
Ears blooming red, Zhong Wan said, “I know you don’t believe me, but I really don’t have anything to request of you. Today I seriously—”
“I know.”
The previous ridicule in Yu She’s eyes vanished, a complicated gaze replacing it as he looked at Zhong Wan. Near whisper, he said, “For this reason, even more so I cannot…”
Not waiting for him to speak again, Yu She turned around. “Follow me.”
Yu She picked up a candlestick, leading Zhong Wan all the way to the inner courtyard. Entered Yu She’s bedroom.
Zhong Wan looked at Yu She from behind the latter, throat tightening a hint.
This was the first time after their reunion that he saw Yu She wearing this few clothes.
Compared to his youth self, Yu She had grown much taller, shoulders stretching wide, lower back all the more long and straight. At present, he only had a thin outer garment on. It couldn’t have made Zhong Wan’s mind wander more than it had.
Yu She set the candlestick down. As if extremely determined, he said, “I don’t want to guess why you suddenly came over today, nor would I question you closely about it. Since you, you…”
Yu She’s back faced Zhong Wan. After a moment, he said, “Since you want to stay here, I will allow you to stay in my room for one night. However, any more than this… Don’t even think about it.”
Zhong Wan remained silent.
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At this moment, was he supposed to thank him for the generous grace?He felt he had been splashed with an invisible bucket of water all over his body, the mood prior completely washed away.
Cautious, Zhong Wan asked, “Then if during the night… something happened, whose fault would it be?”
Fire burst from Yu She’s eyes. He painstakingly endured his anger as he said, “If I don’t want it, then nothing will happen.”
Zhong Wan was at a loss for words, the bit of attraction in his chest thoroughly dispersing. Not wanting to provoke Yu She’s unhappiness, he forced a smile. “Then I’ll sleep in the outer chamber.”
“No need.” Yu She glanced at Zhong Wan, wanting to say something but hesitating. In the end, he said, “Since you came over so late… I’ll fulfill your wishes halfway.”
Zhong Wan, who had his wishes fulfilled halfway, lay down on the bed in a complicated mood. Thought that his trip here today had been utterly stupid.
It’d be great if Yu She truly had a bit of affection for him. But if everything had just been Zhong Wan showering affection on an uninterested party, then in the future… one would fear Yu She would get around him and leave.
Zhong Wan imagined pulling Yu She out of the muddy pond. Imagined giving advice to him. Imagined becoming Yu She’s trusted aide. However, in all of China’s history, who would want to sleep with their own trusted aide?
As Zhong Wan told himself not to imagine his feelings were reciprocated, he could not help but ask in a straightforward manner, “Heir… Do you prefer women?”
Lying on the outer side of the bed with his body stretched taut, Yu She froze. He furrowed his brows. “No.”
This question drove Yu She annoyed the most. “No.”
Zhong Wan’s throat tightened. He took his time saying, “So what—do you know what… happens there?”
In the darkness, Yu She did not respond.
Zhong Wan was not afraid of being shameless. He said in a soft voice, “Even if we did something, I can’t get pregnant. So don’t worry…”
He was very familiar with the side courtyard. Lying here, he could not help but for a moment think they had returned to seven years prior. As such, he relaxed immensely, daring to speak more. “Yu She, you don’t have any concubines yet. Are you—”
“Zhong Wan,” said Yu She in a cold manner all of a sudden. “Men who are over fifteen and say they don’t know those things are only pretending. You should understand this more than I do, right?”
These words embarrassed Zhong Wan.
Yu She closed his eyes. Drowsy. A moment later, he opened them again. Agitated, he said, “It’s not that I don’t know how to do it that I didn’t do you today! I just… don’t want to.”
Zhong Wan courted a rebuff, whispering, “Mm.”
Incredulous, Yu She said, “Just what are you people thinking every day? I merely go mad every now and then. Even if I’m a super lunatic, who would say a lunatic can’t do these things?”
Zhong Wan’s face flushed. Stammered, “I-I was just afraid you didn’t know.”
He could not help but say to Yu She, “I’m telling you that men truly can’t get pregnant.”
At the end of his patience, Yu She sat up.
Zhong Wan’s heart tensed up.
Under the moonlight, Yu She looked at Zhong Wan. In a low voice, he said, “Zhong Wan… I don’t want to leave behind descendants. But if you can get pregnant, then I would actually want to keep it.”
Yu She bent his body down a shade, thinking aloud, “But how could I get you pregnant…?”
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