Chapter 8: 8: Who They Were

When I awoke that day, it was to the sounds of dad packing up the wagon, likely the head into town like he did sometimes, or so I thought. I went outside and gave a hello to our horse, Blaze, sitting on the front of the cart while dad loaded it up, us just exchanging wordless smiles as greetings as I watched him work. I would help but 3 year olds don’t exactly have that much strength, do they? 

I thought dad was going into town to sell some of our crops and grab some essentials, but he also packed some other things that weren’t usual for him. An extra sword, some bread and other perishables, as if he was going on a short term trip and needed them not to sell, but for meals, some firewood, clean water, and a sleeping bag.

“Where are you going dad?” I asked when he stepped back outside.

“Oh, just on a short trip to the village, and then I need to travel a bit further and meet up with some… old friends. I’ll be back in a week, I was going to tell you closer to when I leave.” 

“Old friends?”

“Yeah, kinda. You’re a bit too young to explain exactly who they are, but basically they were like family back in the day.” His eyes looked far off, as if he was daydreaming about some old memories. “I don’t see them much anymore, but every now and then we meet up to reminisce and sometimes when we need to do some… work.”

“Work?”

“Well… um…”

“Dad, just tell me, just because I’m young doesn’t mean I don’t understand when you’re trying to mince words.”

“I- fine. We used to be adventurers. Well, more like hunters. Tasked by different organizations and governments to deal with threats. I used to be a swordsman, but your mom and I gave up that life to have a family and a slower life.”

“That’s so cool! I’m sorry you had to give it up to have me though…”

“We didn’t give it up explicitly because of wanting to have a kid, we weren’t even sure if we wanted one at first, we just wanted to be a family together, even if that meant just the both of us. We’re both really glad we decided to have a kid though. I don’t know what I’d do without my beautiful daughter.”

Gosh he knows how to save an awkward conversation. “So if you were a swordsman, then what was mom?”

“She was a mage, and a damn good one at that. She’s definitely where your smarts and talents come from, though I’m sure you’ll be a talented young swordswoman one day if you’d like to follow in your old man’s footsteps too.”

“I hope you can teach me one day. I’d actually like to learn to be a spellsword mage.”

“Huh, your mom was more into elemental magic. Guess you take a little bit from both of us then!”

“And have a little bit of my own flair, right?!” 

“My daughter? More flair than a fire.”

We both smiled at that and talked a little bit more about things for a while. Dad and his adventuring group, including mom, all met back in school, pretty much your classic RPG kind of party full of different people of different backgrounds and eccentric personalities. Apparently for a long time dad and mom were really close friends, but never really realized how much they liked each other until after they’d been adventuring for years. After that they were so close they sometimes annoyed their friends with all the lovey dovey stuff. 

I asked him what changed in their relationship for them to realize they loved each other and he just had this distant look in his eyes, like it was one of his most important memories. He said that before that he just saw her almost like a sibling, but then she revealed something about herself that made him realize a deeper aspect of who she was and from that point on he just couldn’t stop thinking about her. He actually apparently got a bit overprotective which made mom blow a casket and they had a big fight, but when they talked things out he confessed and it turns out she had loved him for years but was too afraid to say anything, because she was afraid of people judging them. I wondered what that meant though, I mean a cishet couple both from what seems to be middle class sorts of backgrounds? What problems would there be? I asked him why she was afraid and he replied that there was a time when mom had to hide who she was from some people, because it would’ve put her in danger, but the problem was solved after a certain event that he wouldn’t go into because it was mom’s story to share, not his. Of course this made me even more curious, but I didn’t want to make her made at dad for bringing up the topic in the first place, so I decided I’d wait a little while and just frame it as asking her about her past. Starting parental squabbles sounds like a one way ticket to problems for all of us, after all.

Eventually, he left for his little trip and left mom and I alone for a while. The house was always quieter when one of my parents was missing, like a piece of its soul was gone for a while. I never felt like this when I was home alone in my previous life, in fact I relished it. It was like I could breathe for a short time. Now though? I don’t think I’ve ever been emotionally attached to two people more in my life, and I realize this is probably what having good parents is supposed to feel like as a 3 year old kid. 

A lot of the time we spent over that week was just hanging out in each other’s presence. Cooking, eating, cleaning, tending to the crops since dad wasn’t home, and reading. A whole lot of reading. We’d just sit on the floor of the library next to each other or with my back against hers, silent and focused. Sometimes I’d break the silence with a question or a comment on something, or mom would point out something in her own text that she thought I’d find interesting. Surprisingly, she wasn’t just interested in the magical texts. She pulled out that same book on sexuality and gender I did at one point and she read all of it in a single sitting, with a little smile on her face. 

“What’cha smiling about mom?”

“Oh nothing, just some good passages in this book.”

“Relatable?” I said without thinking.

Her eyes went wide for a moment and she giggled, patting me on the head. “Yeah kiddo, relatable.”

You are reading story To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! at novel35.com

“Are you queer?” 

“I- I’m surprised you know that word.”

“Well, uh, I read that book myself actually.”

“And you understood it?”

“Mhmm?”

She just stared at me in the eyes for a moment. Look, I’m not dumb, if I was an adult who was just told by a 3 year old that she understood what queerness is, I’d have the same glance. But even if I wasn’t a trans woman from another world with her memories intact, you’ve got to give kids some credit. They understand some of this stuff quicker than adults as long as you don’t treat them like idiots. 

The look on her face was pretty damn funny though.

“Well… yes, Aria, I am queer, even if I am in a straight relationship.”

“Can I ask what you identify as then?”

“I’d say I’m… Panromantic, maybe demisexual? It took me a long time to have any feelings for your father beyond romantic attraction, though I always thought it was for another reason.”

“Ah, ok! That’s awesome!” Bet she’s glad she doesn’t have to ever explain what sex is to me. God I thought I might have been demisexual too, especially before I realized I was- wait. Another reason? She had to hide who she was for a while? I swear to the Goddess if she actually made me the daughter of a trans woman I- but there’s no way that’s possible. I’m sure as shit I’m her and dad’s biological child from my features alone, and there isn’t exactly modern medicine in this world. But there is magic. And she is a mage. I know if I was in the wrong body as a mage I’d do whatever I could to fix that. Maybe she could have done it herself? Maybe that’s why she became comfortable with being attracted to dad, because she finally had the right body? 

“Hey Aria, you know if you ever want to talk about your own identity you’re safe to discuss it with us, ok?” 

“Well… about that actually. Mom, are you transgender?”

“What?! Trust me, I’m very much a girl, I don’t want to be a guy and I wouldn’t say I’m any kind  of non-binary either.”

“I didn’t say you were a trans man, I meant, are you a trans woman?”

“I wouldn’t have been able to have you if-”

“Magic, mom?”

“Ok, you make a good point. Well, your dad and I were going to have to explain it eventually, but yes, I am trans. Through a long and complicated set of circumstances I was split off from my family because of it and your father, some old friends, and I, all went out to search for a key to give myself the body I needed using magic. Because it’s much easier to transform yourself temporarily than permanently, let me tell you.” 

“I knew it!”

“How though?”

“Well… this conversation should be saved until dad is back but…”

I pause for a moment, unsure if I should really say the words about to come out of my mouth. 

“I’m trans too. A trans girl. I’m an otherworlder.”

You can find story with these keywords: To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world!, Read To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world!, To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! novel, To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! book, To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! story, To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! full, To Be Myself: Born as who I was meant to be in another world! Latest Chapter