To Help You Understand
Chapter 35
It was not long after Winter left for the capital. Catherine Blooming’s maid brought Violet a small box of present.
“It’s a gift from the lady as a token of apology.”
Violet accepted the box and greeted her with stiff lips.
“Please tell her I’m thankful.”
“Yes, little lady.”
When the Duchess’ maid left, Violet sat on the bed again, struggling.
She had a splitting pain in her back. The symptoms were similar to the month when menstrual pain was exceptionally severe. Since she had no experience, she wondered if pregnancy was originally like this.
Jen, who received the gift box instead, said as if nagging.
“So take your medicine. You don’t take it even though the doctor said it’s okay to take the medicine during pregnancy.”
“It doesn’t hurt that much.”
“Your face looks pale, I guess.”
Jen pouted, pulled out the box and opened it, and there were small shoes in it. Jen confirmed that it was safe and brought it to Violet, and she looked surprised.
“Oh, my God. Pretty……”
When the Blooming couple, who came to scold her, heard a word from Winter and went back, she wondered if they were venting their anger. Surprisingly, however, there was a neat pair of baby shoes in the box.
It was a very good shoe with a silk exterior and a fluffy inside. Violet admired the box on her lap.
“Baby shoes are really small.”
“But if the child looks like a little master, wouldn’t it be a big child? But I don’t know if the child looks like the little lady.”
“I heard that when I was born, I was also on the big side.”
Violet couldn’t take her eyes off the shoes while answering.
Come to think of it, the mansion was too dangerous to raise a baby. The decorations were plain and each item had pointed decorations.
She suddenly felt sorry that there was nothing prepared for the child as she was shocked when being informed of the pregnancy.
Jen ran when Violet, who had finished thinking, tried to get up by force.
“Oh, why are you getting up? You said you had a backache.”
“Don’t I have to prepare a room for my child when he’s born? I was lying down too much.”
“It’s only been two months. What are you trying to prepare?”
“But first of all.….. I can also spend time……”
Violet stopped talking because her back was hurting and continued again. Rather, she wondered if she was sick, because she was lying down too much. It might be better to walk a little.
When the pain subsided a little, Violet walked to a room a few feet away from her room.
“I love this room. I liked this place the best since I first got here.”
Jen said as she looked around the room, recalling the day Violet first came to the mansion three years ago.
“The little lady’s room is too small and isolated. Why don’t you move here now?”
“Now that I’m used to it, I think it’ll be unfamiliar for me.”
Violet continued as she walked slowly through the spacious room where the sun was exceptionally well lit.
“Even if my husband insists that it’s not his child, or if he doesn’t want to raise the child. If I ask for a room, he’ll give it.”
Then, she will spend every day in this room looking at the child’s face.
If she gives her child her favorite room in this house, she will be happier living here.
Jen groaned next to her.
“The little lady looked like a guest, when you say he’s going to give up the room.”
“Oh…… I’ll settle it with my husband, and make a decision.”
“Yes, you’d better say!”
Violet covered her mouth with her hands and smiled softly at Jen’s answer. She felt like her punishment was over after she stood in this room. She was only focusing on her child, everything that happened was forgotten.
Violet said in a pleasant voice.
“Put the cradle over there……the walls are colorful…… Oh, it would be nice if I drew a rainbow or something. Is that too childish?”
When Violet was sincerely happy and asked questions, Jen was excited, and she came up with one opinion or another. It was when she was thinking that if the little master insisted on not using this room, she should protest with the little lady.
Violet eventually sat down as if the pain had come back.
“L-little lady!”
When Jen ran and helped, Violet said, breathing heavily.
“Strangely…… It felt just like when my period began.”
“Yes, yes? No way…… Are, are you bleeding?”
“Well, is that dangerous then?”
“P-please wait a moment! I’ll be right back with a doctor!”
Jen puts Violet on the guest’s bed and runs away.
A little later, after Beryl, the original male doctor, quit, a new female doctor specializing in birth came running.
Throughout the treatment, Violet constantly prayed for the child’s safety.
There should be nothing wrong with the child. She forgot that she was sick because she was regretting that she drank something strong without knowing.
After a while, the doctor who finished medical treatment made a grave sound.
“Well, little lady.….”
“There’s nothing wrong, right?”
Then the doctor continued, avoiding Violet’s desperate gaze.
“The period is right.”
“What……does that mean?”
When Violet forced her upper body, the doctor continued, looking only at the floor in regret.
“I don’t think you were pregnant from the beginning. Sometimes that……there are times when you have the same symptoms as pregnancy in your imagination. Perhaps the little lady is desperate to get pregnant.….. I think. If you don’t know much about pregnant women, like the doctor who examined you earlier, there’s a high probability to misdiagnose them. The symptoms are……so identical.”
“..….”
She thought she didn’t have expectations, but she actually had a lot.
There was hope that one day she could persuade Winter to give birth to a child, that her relationship with him will get better little by little, and that her resentment toward him would be resolved. She will also have a family that is simple and often laughs, like the dream she had when she was young.
When what she believed to be a miracle disappeared like a mirage, she returned to reality, where she could not even get a rest like death.
***
Since the distance between the capital and the south is far, it took time no matter how urgent he came.
It was early in the morning when Winter arrived home.
As soon as he arrived, he was going to wake up Violet who’s asleep and bring in the dresses and jewels that he had bought.
He had to show that. This way, Violet will know that he was considering her as his wife.
Then he decided to believe that the child is his. It’s impossible to try catching his wife’s affair forever, when there wasn’t even any evidence. Thinking of it like that makes him feel comfortable and even a strange sense of relief.
Winter hurriedly entered the mansion to tell her his decision quickly, and he made a face.
At this early hour, all the people in the mansion were awake. Winter found something wrong with an extremely gloomy atmosphere.
Flip, who was in tears, ran to him when he stopped in ominousness.
“L-lord you’re here.”
“What’s going on? What’s wrong with the atmosphere?”
Then Flip, who was shaking his shoulders and sniffing, managed to say.
“The little lady wasn’t pregnant.”
“What?”
When Winter made a face as if he was going to kill him right away, Flip wiped his tears with his hands and barely continued.
“The little lady was so desperate that she only had symptoms, she wasn’t pregnant. She hasn’t moved since yesterday like a dead person….”
“You should do as much bullshit as well. I can’t understand.”
Winter pushed him and hurried to Violet’s bedroom.
When he entered Violet’s bedroom, his wife was sitting in a window chair looking outside, and some of the maids were bringing up all the good stories they knew to make her talk somehow.
Only the two were left in the bedroom, after the maids who saw Winter left the room immediately.
He cannot believe she wasn’t pregnant.
Winter looked at Violet, who only looked out the window.
“Violet.”
Violet didn’t move at all. She didn’t cry or feel sad. She was just turning her back on the disturbance.
Winter couldn’t figure out what to do because she had never looked like this before.
He first bowed down and grabbed both handles, Winter said in a voice that was far from soothing.
“I heard you’ve been doing this since yesterday.”
“..….”
“Get some sleep.”
“……”
“Violet.”
No matter how many times he called, there was no answer.
Winter raised Violet from her chair, thinking that she would have to be laid down before putting her to sleep. She didn’t rebel, but even after lying on her bed, she lay on her side of the window and looked out quietly.
Winter, who was sitting by her side without a word, took the lead.
“Take some sleeping pills if you really can’t sleep.”
Winter shouted outward, still holding Violet.
“Get me some sleeping pills!”
Outside, one of the maid slightly slipped her head in and said.
“I-inside the closet, there’re always some sleeping pills.”
“Then bring some water!”
“Yes, yes!”
The maid answered in fear and hurriedly fetched some water. Winter opened the closet and found sleeping pills.
Always? Winter stood with a bottle of medicine and kept talking to her.
“What kind of medicine do you take all the time? What good will it bring to your body? You sleep because you’re sleepy, can you take medicine and fall fast asleep? You can’t. I’ll take you for a walk for tomorrow. If you walk a little bit, you’ll fall asleep without taking medicine. You’ll feel better.”
No matter what he said, Violet didn’t answer. Nevertheless, Winter continued. He, who was not very talkative, soon ran out of words as he kept on talking.
Soon, Winter asked when the maid brought a bottle of water and a glass.
“Did you feed her anything?”
“She didn’t even drink water all day..….”
“Oh, damn it.”
Winter sat on the bed with a glass filled with water on the table.
Even if he turned off the bedroom light, the sun was already up and the curtains were open, so the room was bright. Winter said, fixing Violet’s hair with one hand.
“Drink some water. You will be dehydrated.”
“..….”
“Let’s get some sleep and head straight to the capital.”
“……”
“There’s a house in the capital. I don’t really like flowers, but that house is fine. I don’t know how nice the garden is. You like the capital city and the flowers.It’d be nice to go. You’ll like it.”
Winter, whose breath trembled as he was not sure how she had lived, raised his voice a little.
“You should at least cry. It’s soothing. Or hit me or get angry. I’ll be happy to get hit.”
“……”
Violet, who had been lying down for a long time, raised herself up. And she made eye contact with Winter who looked at her. Her lips are open.
“……”
Chapter 38: 35
It was not long after Winter left for the capital. Catherine Blooming’s maid brought Violet a small box of present.
“It’s a gift from the lady as a token of apology.”
Violet accepted the box and greeted her with stiff lips.
“Please tell her I’m thankful.”
“Yes, little lady.”
When the Duchess’ maid left, Violet sat on the bed again, struggling.
She had a splitting pain in her back. The symptoms were similar to the month when menstrual pain was exceptionally severe. Since she had no experience, she wondered if pregnancy was originally like this.
Jen, who received the gift box instead, said as if nagging.
“So take your medicine. You don’t take it even though the doctor said it’s okay to take the medicine during pregnancy.”
“It doesn’t hurt that much.”
“Your face looks pale, I guess.”
Jen pouted, pulled out the box and opened it, and there were small shoes in it. Jen confirmed that it was safe and brought it to Violet, and she looked surprised.
“Oh, my God. Pretty……”
When the Blooming couple, who came to scold her, heard a word from Winter and went back, she wondered if they were venting their anger. Surprisingly, however, there was a neat pair of baby shoes in the box.
It was a very good shoe with a silk exterior and a fluffy inside. Violet admired the box on her lap.
“Baby shoes are really small.”
“But if the child looks like a little master, wouldn’t it be a big child? But I don’t know if the child looks like the little lady.”
“I heard that when I was born, I was also on the big side.”
Violet couldn’t take her eyes off the shoes while answering.
She suddenly felt sorry that there was nothing prepared for the child as she was shocked when being informed of the pregnancy.
Jen ran when Violet, who had finished thinking, tried to get up by force.
“Oh, why are you getting up? You said you had a backache.”
“Don’t I have to prepare a room for my child when he’s born? I was lying down too much.”
“It’s only been two months. What are you trying to prepare?”
“But first of all.….. I can also spend time……”
Violet stopped talking because her back was hurting and continued again. Rather, she wondered if she was sick, because she was lying down too much. It might be better to walk a little.
When the pain subsided a little, Violet walked to a room a few feet away from her room.
“I love this room. I liked this place the best since I first got here.”
Jen said as she looked around the room, recalling the day Violet first came to the mansion three years ago.
“The little lady’s room is too small and isolated. Why don’t you move here now?”
“Now that I’m used to it, I think it’ll be unfamiliar for me.”
Violet continued as she walked slowly through the spacious room where the sun was exceptionally well lit.
“Even if my husband insists that it’s not his child, or if he doesn’t want to raise the child. If I ask for a room, he’ll give it.”
Then, she will spend every day in this room looking at the child’s face.
If she gives her child her favorite room in this house, she will be happier living here.
Jen groaned next to her.
“The little lady looked like a guest, when you say he’s going to give up the room.”
“Oh…… I’ll settle it with my husband, and make a decision.”
Violet covered her mouth with her hands and smiled softly at Jen’s answer. She felt like her punishment was over after she stood in this room. She was only focusing on her child, everything that happened was forgotten.
Violet said in a pleasant voice.
“Put the cradle over there……the walls are colorful…… Oh, it would be nice if I drew a rainbow or something. Is that too childish?”
When Violet was sincerely happy and asked questions, Jen was excited, and she came up with one opinion or another. It was when she was thinking that if the little master insisted on not using this room, she should protest with the little lady.
Violet eventually sat down as if the pain had come back.
“L-little lady!”
When Jen ran and helped, Violet said, breathing heavily.
“Strangely…… It felt just like when my period began.”
“Yes, yes? No way…… Are, are you bleeding?”
“Well, is that dangerous then?”
“P-please wait a moment! I’ll be right back with a doctor!”
Jen puts Violet on the guest’s bed and runs away.
A little later, after Beryl, the original male doctor, quit, a new female doctor specializing in birth came running.
Throughout the treatment, Violet constantly prayed for the child’s safety.
There should be nothing wrong with the child. She forgot that she was sick because she was regretting that she drank something strong without knowing.
After a while, the doctor who finished medical treatment made a grave sound.
“Well, little lady.….”
“There’s nothing wrong, right?”
Then the doctor continued, avoiding Violet’s desperate gaze.
“What……does that mean?”
When Violet forced her upper body, the doctor continued, looking only at the floor in regret.
“I don’t think you were pregnant from the beginning. Sometimes that……there are times when you have the same symptoms as pregnancy in your imagination. Perhaps the little lady is desperate to get pregnant.….. I think. If you don’t know much about pregnant women, like the doctor who examined you earlier, there’s a high probability to misdiagnose them. The symptoms are……so identical.”
“..….”
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The doctor continued talking after that, but Violet does not hear anything.She thought she didn’t have expectations, but she actually had a lot.
There was hope that one day she could persuade Winter to give birth to a child, that her relationship with him will get better little by little, and that her resentment toward him would be resolved. She will also have a family that is simple and often laughs, like the dream she had when she was young.
When what she believed to be a miracle disappeared like a mirage, she returned to reality, where she could not even get a rest like death.
***
Since the distance between the capital and the south is far, it took time no matter how urgent he came.
It was early in the morning when Winter arrived home.
As soon as he arrived, he was going to wake up Violet who’s asleep and bring in the dresses and jewels that he had bought.
He had to show that. This way, Violet will know that he was considering her as his wife.
Then he decided to believe that the child is his. It’s impossible to try catching his wife’s affair forever, when there wasn’t even any evidence. Thinking of it like that makes him feel comfortable and even a strange sense of relief.
Winter hurriedly entered the mansion to tell her his decision quickly, and he made a face.
At this early hour, all the people in the mansion were awake. Winter found something wrong with an extremely gloomy atmosphere.
Flip, who was in tears, ran to him when he stopped in ominousness.
“L-lord you’re here.”
“What’s going on? What’s wrong with the atmosphere?”
“The little lady wasn’t pregnant.”
“What?”
When Winter made a face as if he was going to kill him right away, Flip wiped his tears with his hands and barely continued.
“The little lady was so desperate that she only had symptoms, she wasn’t pregnant. She hasn’t moved since yesterday like a dead person….”
“You should do as much bullshit as well. I can’t understand.”
Winter pushed him and hurried to Violet’s bedroom.
When he entered Violet’s bedroom, his wife was sitting in a window chair looking outside, and some of the maids were bringing up all the good stories they knew to make her talk somehow.
Only the two were left in the bedroom, after the maids who saw Winter left the room immediately.
He cannot believe she wasn’t pregnant.
Winter looked at Violet, who only looked out the window.
“Violet.”
Violet didn’t move at all. She didn’t cry or feel sad. She was just turning her back on the disturbance.
Winter couldn’t figure out what to do because she had never looked like this before.
He first bowed down and grabbed both handles, Winter said in a voice that was far from soothing.
“I heard you’ve been doing this since yesterday.”
“..….”
“Get some sleep.”
“……”
“Violet.”
Winter raised Violet from her chair, thinking that she would have to be laid down before putting her to sleep. She didn’t rebel, but even after lying on her bed, she lay on her side of the window and looked out quietly.
Winter, who was sitting by her side without a word, took the lead.
“Take some sleeping pills if you really can’t sleep.”
Winter shouted outward, still holding Violet.
“Get me some sleeping pills!”
Outside, one of the maid slightly slipped her head in and said.
“I-inside the closet, there’re always some sleeping pills.”
“Then bring some water!”
“Yes, yes!”
The maid answered in fear and hurriedly fetched some water. Winter opened the closet and found sleeping pills.
Always? Winter stood with a bottle of medicine and kept talking to her.
“What kind of medicine do you take all the time? What good will it bring to your body? You sleep because you’re sleepy, can you take medicine and fall fast asleep? You can’t. I’ll take you for a walk for tomorrow. If you walk a little bit, you’ll fall asleep without taking medicine. You’ll feel better.”
No matter what he said, Violet didn’t answer. Nevertheless, Winter continued. He, who was not very talkative, soon ran out of words as he kept on talking.
Soon, Winter asked when the maid brought a bottle of water and a glass.
“Did you feed her anything?”
“She didn’t even drink water all day..….”
“Oh, damn it.”
Winter sat on the bed with a glass filled with water on the table.
Even if he turned off the bedroom light, the sun was already up and the curtains were open, so the room was bright. Winter said, fixing Violet’s hair with one hand.
“..….”
“Let’s get some sleep and head straight to the capital.”
“……”
“There’s a house in the capital. I don’t really like flowers, but that house is fine. I don’t know how nice the garden is. You like the capital city and the flowers.It’d be nice to go. You’ll like it.”
Winter, whose breath trembled as he was not sure how she had lived, raised his voice a little.
“You should at least cry. It’s soothing. Or hit me or get angry. I’ll be happy to get hit.”
“……”
Violet, who had been lying down for a long time, raised herself up. And she made eye contact with Winter who looked at her. Her lips are open.
“……”
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