Ugly Bastard: I have recently unlocked the power of hypnosis. By simply looking into someone’s eyes, I can brainwash them into doing anything I desire.
There is a fairly attractive woman a block away.
Fairly Attractive Woman: “Ugh, why does that old bastard keep bothering me!? That’s it, I’m blocking his number. Rot in hell, old man.”
Ugly Bastard: Ah. A suitable subject for my powers. grins mischievously “Excuse me, miss.”
Fairly Attractive Woman: “What do you want, fatso?”
Ugly Bastard: “Care to look into my eyes?”
Fairly Attractive Woman: “Like, hell, I… Would…”
Ugly Bastard: She’s under my spell. Good. “Now, when I snap my fingers, you’re going to do exactly as I say. Agreed.”
In a daze, she nods her head.
Ugly Bastard: “Good.” he cackles Time to have some fun.
Two minutes later…
Fairly Attractive Woman: “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring your calls, daddy. Ever since mom died, I’ve been going out to clubs to escape reality. But… But I don’t want to run away anymore. I want to try being a good daughter again.”
Fairly Attractive Woman: “You forgive me?”
Fairly Attractive Woman: “Okay, I’ll come over as soon as I can. Thanks. I love you. Bye.”
Ugly Bastard: observes from the sidelines
Ugly Bastard: Ah, it feels so good to rekindle a broken relationship between father and daughter. I wonder what other good deeds I can do with this power.
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