Chapter 200: Chapter 185 – Like a Balm to Soothe the Pain

"Like how people in a severe drought would drink even muddy water, or the blood of animals to live on, and those in starvation would devour the bark of trees, and pests like rats and insects for sustenance, there were depths those who fell into heartbreak might fall into, that one should not judge with the privileged mindset of those who had never experienced it themselves." - Svitra Lesiane, Soulweaver from Ptolodecca, considered one of the first prominently known psychiatrists in the world.

When Aideen went down the stairs for a late breakfast a few minutes later, she found that Eleifa, the tavern keeper's older daughter, had indeed sported a vibrant glow to her skin. Aideen still had no idea what to say when the woman brought her that morning's stew - a simple dish made with last night's leftovers served with a small loaf of bread - and winked at her before she left.

 

She had a quiet meal, mostly lost to her thoughts, though she noticed the stew to be quite a good one, and the bread to be freshly baked as well, with still-warm fluffy insides once the crisp crust was breached. She enjoyed her meal in silence while she tried to rearrange her thoughts.

 

The tavern was empty since it was already long past breakfast hours, and lunchtime was still several hours away. Aideen was pretty much the only one there other than the tavern keeper, her daughters, and her grandchildren.

 

Aideen had just risen from her seat, and planned to apologize for last night to Eleifa and the young woman seemed to have read her mind, and placed her extended index finger on Aideen's lips, a gesture to remain quiet.

 

Then the widowed woman quickly kissed her before Aideen could react, and gracefully thanked her for having helped "take her mind off her woes" last night, before she turned away and went back to work. Lunch hour was in a couple hours and the whole family - even some of the older children - worked to prepare for it.

 

Aideen was left flabbergasted and lost in thought for a good while before Regina, the matronly tavern keeper, came out of the kitchen and pushed a tankard of fruit ale into her hands, and gestured for her to sit down and have a drink.

 

"Told ye me girl liked it," she said nonchalantly while wiping sweat from her brow with the back of her tunic's sleeve. Even in cold regions like the east, the kitchens remained hot places where one was bound to sweat heavily. "Betcha she wouldn't mind a repeat of last night."

 

"Does it not disturb you at all?" asked Aideen with some marvel in her voice after she took a drink to wet her throat. While the east had no real barrier on relations between those of different species, the western Jarldoms like Istria used to have a very strong prejudice against the undead. Aideen knew that Regina had been quite accepting of her identity before, but had not expected her to be this accepting. "What I am, I mean, and the implications thereof."

 

"I'm just an old easterner," said the matron simply, taking a long drink from her own tankard along the way. "We're just simple folk here. We take things as they come. Maybe in old Jarl's days we thought all ye undead sort as monsters, but these past ten years changed things a lot, ye know?"

 

"Ye ain't met him yet, but me younger girl Nanna's man came from the deadlands next door, much like ye. He was one of the first of the merchants who came over and did business with us," admitted the matron with a wistful sigh. "Back then I was kinda worried for me girl too, since she pretty much eloped with him. But when they came back the next year, a babe in tow, I didn't have it in me to be mad at them… and me girl just looked so happy too."

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"I assume ye ain't gonna be stayin' that long, though, aren't ye?" asked the matron with a more serious look on her face. "Besides, if what I hear about yer kind is real and not bullshit… ye'd live far, far longer than we could possibly live, wouldn't ye?"

 

"Correct on both counts," admitted Aideen honestly as she looked the matron in the eye. "I might not look it… but I'm over one hundred fifty already," she added with a self-deprecating smile.

 

"Damn, lass. Now I really want to ask what ye use fer skincare!" replied the matron in jest. Aideen chuckled at it while Regina laughed at her own jest in turn. "Either way, lass, if ye happen to be in town in the future, my place would always be open to ye, so long as me or me girls are still in charge here."

 

"We ain't presuming we could replace what ye've lost, but some comfort, that at least we could offer… as long as ye ain't minding us old widows, that is," added the matron with a lewd wink to cap off her words. "Ye need to take it easy from time to time. People always need their breaks and comfort, no matter how tuff they think they are. Promise me ye won't best yerself like that again, lass?"

 

"I promise," said Aideen with a genuine smile on her face as she looked at the matron eye to eye. "And thank you… Regina."

 

Aideen eventually left Istberg around two weeks after the incident, bidding a fond farewell to the tavern keeper and her older daughter when she left. That night's incident repeated several more times in that timespan, though these times, she was sober and fully aware of what she was doing.

 

The acts of physical intimacy itself was nothing more than a desire for affection - and she would not deny it, some pleasure - on her part. A balm, so to speak, one to soothe the pain from being the one left behind, and to live on with it. Aideen knew it wasn't the healthiest way to cope, yet at the same time, she had not wanted to truly love again. Not at this price she had already paid once.

 

In the future years, Aideen paid many visits to the old tavern keeper and her daughter whenever she was around the area, until they eventually passed of old age. They had always remained healthy, and were long-lived compared to many of their neighbors in the harsh eastern lands, partly because Aideen would always discreetly heal them of any budding ailments whenever she visited.

 

She found that she missed them after they passed on, though not to the extent of the loss she felt when Artair passed away.

 

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