Chapter 43: Chapter 42: Me v3.0

I open my eyes to a sight that is all too familiar for me, a hospital room. My head is pounding so hard, it feels as if it might split open, and the room is so bright it hurts my eyes. Chinatsu is sitting beside the bed holding my hand with her head resting on the bed. I squeeze her hand to get her attention, and she bolts upright in the chair to look at me.

“Chinatsu, turn off the lights please. They are too bright and it makes my head hurt worse.” I say quietly.

“Thank God! Sora, you have to stop scaring me like this.” It takes a moment, but she finally realizes I asked her to turn off the lights. “Okay, be right back.” She tells me and goes to turn off the lights. They go out a few seconds later, which makes me sigh in relief.

I pull off the oxygen mask someone has put on me while waiting for her to come back. Once she does, she starts to sit down and I tell her, “Do you mind if I borrow your lap?”

She smiles at me and shakes her head. “Of course not.”

I scoot over so she can get up on the bed with me. Once she finds a comfortable position, I curl around and lay my head on her lap while she strokes my hair.

“I know where I am, but what day and time is it?” I ask her quietly.

“It’s still Tuesday,” she glances at her watch, “and it’s 1:40. You’ve been out for about four hours.”

“What happened?”

“You had a stroke, Sora.”

You know you've been having far too many bad things happen to you when you're told something like this and your reaction is a rather blasé, 'Oh, so that's what happened.’

She continues, “The doctor suspected that your blood pressure got too high and a blood vessel gave out. The doctor in the ER was about to call in a neurosurgeon to perform surgery on you when Dr. Sato came in and stopped him. He had you transferred to this room and, well, here we are.”

“Chinatsu, I had the strangest dream. It felt so real though. It kind of freaks me out how real it felt.”

“What was it about?”

I spent the next few minutes telling her every single detail I could recall about my conversation with a male me. Strange how the more I told her about it the worse my headache got. Now it’s beyond migraine level.

“Chinatsu, my head hurts really bad. Would you call the nurse and see if I can get something for this?”

She nods at me and reaches behind her to push the call button.

“Thanks. I’m gonna close my eyes for a bit.”

Less than a minute later, I hear a quiet knock on the door and a nurse comes in.

“What do you think you are doing? You shouldn’t be on the bed, she needs to rest.”

I open my eyes and hold my finger up to my lips and tell her, “Shh~ Too loud. My head hurts really bad, can I have something for it please?”

Lowering the volume of her voice she tells me, “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were awake already. I’ll call the doctor and tell him.”

“Thank you.” I tell her. I close my eyes again when she leaves the room, and Chinatsu resumes stroking my hair.

I’ve no idea how much time passed, but Dr. Sato comes in and quietly asks me, “How bad is your headache?”

“I’d appreciate it if you could bring it down to migraine level, if that tells you anything.” I say with a wry smile.

“Hmm… Well, honestly, the best thing would be for you to sleep. That poor brain of yours has been through a lot today and it could use some more rest.”

“That isn’t going to happen. I can never sleep when my head hurts.”

“I can fix that part easily enough. Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be back to give you a sedative.”

“Whatever, I just want this gone.” I tell him and he leaves the room. A few minutes later he comes back and injects something into my IV.

“There Ms. Kobayashi. That should do the trick in a couple of minutes.” He looks at Chinatsu. “If it doesn’t put her out within five minutes call the nurse and I’ll come back, okay?”

“Okay, I'll do that doctor. Thank you.” Chinatsu tells him. He nods at us and leaves again. It doesn’t take long for me to feel like I’m floating and soon I drift off to sleep.

[Chinatsu’s POV]

After Sora falls back to sleep on my lap, I take out my phone and dial a number. Three rings later, he picks up. “Dad, we may have a huge problem.”

“What’s that?”

“Sora-nee woke up with a massive headache. She told me she had a dream where she met her male self and they talked. She shouldn’t even be able to remember that, let alone dream about it from what Airi said.”

“I know.” He sighs. “Okay, I’ll call Airi and tell her about this. I’m sure she’ll head over to where you two are. How is Sora feeling? How are you now?”

“She seemed fine except for the headache. She’s curled up on my lap right at the moment. The doctor came in and gave her a sedative to knock her out. He said it was the best thing for her. As for me, I feel better now that she woke up. I’m sorry about earlier, I completely freaked out when that happened.”

“Don’t worry about that. You love Sora, so it’s perfectly understandable that you did. Chinatsu, I hate to say this, but Sora has a lot of things hanging over her head, so this is likely to happen again. You need to prepare yourself for that so you can help her if and when it does. What would have happened to her if it was just you two today? I doubt she would’ve died, but that is beside the point. I don’t expect an answer. I simply want you to think about it, that’s all.”

“Okay Dad. I’ll think about it. Are you coming back to the hospital today?”

“Yes. I’m finishing up the one thing I couldn’t put off. I shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“She’s sleeping now anyway, so I don’t see that there is a huge hurry.” I sigh. “It’s not fair Dad. Sora-nee is the sweetest girl alive, she doesn’t deserve this.”

“I know, but life isn’t fair in who it deals a bad hand to. All we can do is make the best of it. That’s what she’s been doing her whole life. She’s a tough girl. I mean mentally tough. No matter how many times life knocks her down, she always stands right back up. You know this better than I do.”

“I do, but it’s still not right. Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you soon, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you too. See you soon. Bye.”

I end the call and put my phone away. I look down at Sora to tell her, “I know you can’t hear me, but don’t you dare leave me alone because I don’t even want to try living without you. Those damn nanites sure messed up my plans for us, but I thank God that at least you are still here with me. I hope this is the last time for something like this, I can't stand seeing you this way and it scares me to death every time. I’m not as strong as you are.”

Leaning my head back against the headboard, I close my eyes. This has already been a long, very tiring day for the both of us.

Sora mutters in her sleep, “Chinatsu, don’t leave me.” while wrapping her arms around my thigh.

I smile as I raise my head to look at her. “Don’t worry Sora. That’ll never happen, you’re my soulmate. I’ve known that since the day we met.”

I lean back against the headboard and close my eyes to rest before everyone shows back up.

　◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆

Someone lightly knocks on the door, startling me awake. Looking up, I see Airi enter and I hold my finger to my lips to let her know to be quiet. She comes over and sits down in the chair next to the bed. I glance at my watch, 3:30 already?

Airi quietly asks me, “How are you?”

I shrug and tell her, “Much better since Sora woke up. Dr. Sato knocked her back out though because her head was killing her. Did Dad tell you about her dream?”

“Yes and no. He told me she had a dream where she met her male self, but there was no content mentioned. You still didn’t really answer my question though. How are you?”

“I’m fine, as long as she is okay.”

“No Chinatsu. That isn’t what I asked you. You are evading the question. Like it or not, I’m not going to drop this. You’re Sora’s support, so if you break, so does she. Okay, how about we start by you telling me what happened that caused all of this?”

“I’m not all that sure myself, to be honest. Lt. Aoki called us to come see him. They had finished their investigation. He told us Akiyama was the one that ordered the attack on the house and that he was going to use her for ‘testing.’ That didn’t bother her at all. Seriously, she didn’t even bat an eye. In fact, she got onto Lt. Aoki for trying to apologize to her over it.” I shake my head and smile over that.

“He then told us that Sora’s parents owned 47% of TGR and Akiyama had tried to steal their shares in the company. He said it was worth a lot of money. Sora seemed stunned. No, not stunned, I don’t know what you would call it, but I noticed she was acting strangely and tried to get her attention. She nodded at me, but it felt like she was looking right through me. She got up and left the room, Honoka and I went with her. She stared out a window for a while. Her expression while she was doing that scared me for some reason I couldn’t explain to you. She startled me when she suddenly hugged me. She was trembling pretty badly too. I thought that she might be upset because Lt. Aoki brought up her parents death again, so I just hugged her and waited.”

Pausing, I brush away my tears and then continue, “She kept hugging me tighter and tighter, until I decided to ask her what was wrong. She told me, ‘Don’t, just hold me. I feel like I’m disappearing.’ I could hear how badly she was hurting in her voice, so I thought maybe she just needed some time to settle down. Next thing I know she tells me, ‘Chinatsu, my head hurts.’ but it was slurred so badly it took a bit to get what she was saying. Then it’s like her muscles just quit on her and I had to fight to keep from dropping her. She was totally dead weight. I called her name a couple of times and she didn’t respond. When I yelled for Honoka to come help, she slurred out, ‘Quiet, you’re too loud. My head hurts enough already.’ I was relieved for a moment because I thought she was still conscious, but when I caught on to what she meant, I totally panicked. Honoka said she might have had a stroke and I freaked out. The ambulance came and we followed it here. That’s pretty much all that happened there.”

“Chinatsu, don’t even try to tell me you’re fine. It’s easy to see how badly that frightened you and how worried you were. Yes, Sora woke up. I know that you are relieved that she did, but that doesn’t wipe away what you went through. You know what fear can do to someone, you saw it every day with Sora. Fear is a survival trait we need, but it’s also a corrosive thing, it slowly eats away at you. So, talk to someone please, Sora needs you.”

She sighs. “Honestly, I have no idea how you two maintain your balance on that tiny piece of thread you girls walk on. You support Sora and she supports you. Typically, it’s abnormal to have the kind of relationship you two have. It’s called being codependent, but somehow, don’t ask me how, it works for you two. I was against you two being so close at first, because I thought it was limiting your growth as people. After I learned a lot more about you two, I had to admit I was wrong. I’ve never seen two people of any age love and trust each other as much as Sora and you do.”

I smile at Airi and tell her, “Airi, honestly, I trust Sora with my life. If she told me she would hold on to my hand while I leaned out over a 1000 meter abyss, I know she would go down with me rather than let go of my hand. I’d do the same for her. There's no one I trust more than her, not even my mom or my dad.” I look down at Sora, smile, and gently caress her cheek. “She is and always will be the center of my world. I’ve loved her since we were four years old.”

I look back to Airi. “Haven’t you ever noticed how much she lights up a room just by being in it? She has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Everyone I know loves her and she unstintingly loves them back. She’s gentle, sweet, kind, loving, generous, sensitive, as well as being frail and strong at the same time. So, yes, I love her. Truthfully, I love her more than anyone else in this world.”

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She smiles and tells me, “That’s quite the benediction you gave Sora. Too bad she didn’t hear it, not that I don’t think she already knows how you feel about her. This may sound a little strange, but in a way I’m jealous of you two. I hope I’m able to find someone that loves me like you do her. I don’t think it’s likely though. Your relationship is so far outside of the norm, it could easily be described as one of a kind. Regardless, we went off track. This was supposed to be about you and how this made you feel.”

“Airi, really, I’m fine. Sora and I will talk about this before too long. We always do. We talk about everything that happens to us. We literally tell each other everything, unless we’ve made a promise to someone not to talk about something. I have my support, she’s right here on my lap. If, and I do mean if, it turns out talking to her isn’t enough, I promise you, I’ll set an appointment with you so we can talk. Fair enough?”

She shakes her head while smiling. “With anyone other than you two, I would argue that it isn’t enough. Alright, we’ll leave it at that for now, but I’m always here for either of you if you need me. Sora has my number, call me if you want to talk.”

“Thank you Airi. I really appreciate it.”

I glance at my watch. How in the world does time fly by so fast? 4:45 already.

“Mom and Dad should be here soon, I think.”

“That’s fine, in a way, I’m glad they aren’t here. It gave me a chance to have a conversation with you. You definitely gave me some more insight to how Sora survived everything with only you as her support. Hopefully, our little sleeping beauty will wake up soon. I don’t know about you, but I’m a bit hungry.”

“Mhmm. A bit, but Sora is more important to me than food, so as long as she is asleep on my lap, I’m not moving.”

Airi chuckles and shakes her head.

“Airi, do you think Sora will be alright?”

“I don’t know. I need to find out what’s going on before I can…” I never get to hear what she was going to say, because right then, Sora breaks into the conversation.

“You two know it's not nice to talk about someone when they are sleeping, don’t you?” She sighs, “Regardless, you’re too loud, my head still hurts.”

Sora suddenly speaking surprises me and I look down at her, “Sorry Sora-nee. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Sora sits up and looks at me. “You didn’t, my head did. I wish it would stop already. Thanks for not turning on the lights, I don’t think I could take that right now.” She pauses and look at Airi. “Hi Airi. Umm, don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here?”

“I received a call from your dad. He’s worried and wanted me to talk to you. He’s afraid something I did might be at the root of your headaches. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to put you under to find out.”

“I suppose so, if you think it’s really necessary.” Sora tells her, seeming hesitant.

“We’ll find out shortly. Why don’t you get comfortable and we can do this.”

“Okay. Chinatsu, will you hold me please? I don’t want you to get off the bed.”

I grin and tell her, “Of course, sit however you like and I’ll hold you.”

She climbs in between my legs and leans back against me while I wrap my arms around her waist. She then looks at Airi and tells her, “Okay. I’m ready.” Then lays her head against my shoulder.

“Same as last time, okay Chinatsu?” When I nod, she looks at Sora and says, “Sora, Camarilla.”

I feel Sora completely relax in my arms.

“Sora, no matter what happens in this room, you’ll ignore it until I wake you up. Sora, tell me what happened with you at the police station earlier today and about your dream.”

Sora recounts what she was thinking and feeling at the police station right up until she had the stroke. She then tells Airi word for word the conversation she had with her male self.

I hear Airi mutter, “That shouldn’t be possible.” She looks a bit perplexed. I’m right there with her though, I didn’t think it was possible either, but I don’t think anyone ever thought about Sora having a stroke either.

“Sora, we are going to try something, but if it hurts you, you’re to immediately stop what I told you to do and go to your safe place. Do you understand?”

“Yes Airi.”

“Sora, I want you to make your male self become dormant again.”

Sora immediately tenses up and screams for a few moments before becoming limp in my arms again. I look at Airi extremely worried and scared, but I sit still and hold Sora.

“Sora, what happened?”

“It hurt Airi. It felt like my head was coming apart.”

Airi sighs and sits there looking thoughtful for a few minutes before finally saying, “Sora, my restriction on you remembering you were a boy is now lifted. All my other instructions will remain in effect.” Then she mutters, “I hope this will do it, this little shouldn’t make all that much of a change in her.” Speaking louder, Airi says, “Sora, I’m going to count from 3 to 1. When I reach 1 you will wake up. 3… 2… 1.”

Sora opens her eyes and looks around.

“Sora, how do you feel?”

“I’m fine Airi.”

“How’s your head? Is your headache gone?”

“Mhmm. Sora says to tell you thank you, that was really hurting us.”

“Us?” I say, confused.

“Of course. Us, as in me and the other Sora. Oh Airi, he said to tell you not to worry, he’ll be here, but basically just be watching me. That’s not what you told me though… Okay fine... “ She looks from Airi to me and chuckles. “I must seem crazy talking to myself like that. Anyway, he told me that he would be there if I truly needed his help again, but he wouldn’t be doing anything because he wants to just watch me live the life he never would have been able to have.”

“So, you can talk to him?” Airi asks her.

“Umm, kinda, so yes and no. It’s more feelings and impressions than actual words. I understand what he means though. You hush! I can’t do that right now!” She says while blushing.

“What did he tell you, Sora?” Airi asks her.

“I-I can’t tell you that, it’s too embarrassing.”

Airi chuckles. “Okay, I won’t press you for an answer. Do you feel any different?”

“Different how?” Sora asks her with a confused expression.

“Ah, I think I know what you’re asking her Airi. Sora, tell Airi how you feel about Aki Minami?” For those of you who might not know, he’s the star that Sora has the hots for.

“Oh, damn, he’s so hot! Hey, isn’t he supposed to have a new movie out next month?”

I chuckle and say, “Yep, same Sora-nee and yes, he’s got a new movie coming out in two months.”

“Oh alright, but go to sleep… Airi he said to tell you thank you again. Yes, I know already, now go to sleep! Sheesh and I thought girls talked a lot. Ya, ya, thank you. Now please go to sleep. Whose fault do you think it is that I sound crazy? Now shut up already. So much for your promise! Okay then! Gawd! Boys!”

Airi and I laugh. Airi then reaches over behind me and presses the nurse call button.

“Why did you call the nurse, Airi?” I ask her.

“So they can page Dr. Sato and you two can go home. Sora wasn’t admitted under my name this time, so he has to release her, but I feel she’s well enough to go home.”

“Good! I hate hospitals!” Sora says forcefully. “Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I like you Airi. I just don’t like being here that’s all.”

“I never thought you didn’t like me, Sora, and I can’t blame you not liking it here after all the time you’ve spent here lately.”

“Airi, come here please.” Sora tells her. Airi comes close and Sora hugs her. “Thank you Airi. I’m sorry you have to spend so much time trying to fix me. I guess I’m a bit broken.”

“Sora, you might have a few cracks, everyone does, but you aren’t broken. Anyway, I need to go. Just tell Dr. Sato I said you are fine to go home. If he has any questions he can call me. Bye girls.”

“Bye Airi.” I tell her.

“Bye Airi, I‘ll see you tomorrow morning.”

She nods and leaves the room.

Curious, I ask, “Now, tell me, what was so embarrassing?”

“He said I should kiss you. There’s no way I could do that in front of Airi.”

“Well, she’s not here now is she?” I say while grinning mischievously.

A smile lights up her face as she tells me, “Definitely not.”

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