Chapter 9 – Out in the Light.

It was always a beautiful place, but right now, it seemed even more so. Lush, green, bathed in the afternoon sun, the smell of nature almost intoxicating. Even the birds and the butterflies didn’t seem to be bothered about their presence, flittering and flying around, darting this way and that in mesmerising displays of colour and shape. Fraser stopped at one of the buildings that he knew was in a better condition than most of them and would be suitable, and got changed again, breathing a sigh of relief as he roughly tossed the clothes he had been wearing, and put on the ones he’d purchased. He... he really did like them.

But...

A wave of nervousness and uncertainty hit him, and he was suddenly worried. What would she think? Sure, they weren’t the same, but the association was there. And no doubt, she’d say other things as well.

“You look beautiful. She’s going to like it,” Uriah said with a smile as Fraser re-emerged into the sunlight. Fraser felt himself blush a little. That... that helped a little.

“She might judge,” he murmured as he slowly walked to the area where Felicia usually hung around. The area where she had died. Cause he’d failed her, cause he’d lost his magic. Cause he’d been too slow and indecisive.

“She won’t.” There was a definitiveness to his response. “Tease, perhaps, from what you’ve told me of her, but not judge. She, at the least, will understand you.”

Fraser moved a little closer, walking right beside Uriah. His presence helped, but still, his nerves were getting tighter the closer he got. Why was confidence so fleeting?

Yet, still, he wanted to do this. She was, after all, a friend, even if she was a ghost. At least, he thought of her that way.

‘Oh wow. You look beautiful!’

There it was. That word again. But he could feel the tension release, his body and magic relaxing again as he blushed. Again. Fraser looked up, Felicia’s shimmering presence in the air nearby. There had been nothing but kindness in her voice. And maybe a bit of longing.

“Hey, Felicia.” He had wanted to say more, but the words fled him, and he found himself staring at the ground. The depth of the green of the grass, and the little flowers that were attempting to grow with it.

‘It really does suit you. You wear it much better than I ever did. I might be just a little jealous.’

“No, you wore it better. You even had the hair.” Was there still some guilt there? Who was he kidding? There was still plenty.

‘That is entirely a matter of perspective. You look beautiful. Truly. And I can imagine...’ She seemed to pause for a moment, the shimmer of her presence coming a little closer. ‘Take the compliment. You’ve been through a lot.’

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he made his way to his usual sitting spot, placing the bag with the spares and his old clothes off to one side as he sat, Uriah joining him and Felicia floating down with them.

‘Finally reached that point, or is there an occasion? Like a date perhaps?’

“Reached that point?” Fraser looked at Felicia in confusion, trying not to blush at the rest.

“We’re being sent on a mission to examine an anomaly,” Uriah chimed in, somehow correctly guessing the thread of conversation. He had his legs stretched out, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the sun. Fraser lent over a little, into him.

‘You’ll be okay? Safe?’ There was Felicia, worrying about him.

“We’ll be fine. Even if there wasn’t a squad of goons coming along, Uriah’s coming with me.” That got a grin from Uriah, though he didn’t say anything.

Felicia seemed to chuckle. ‘Never willingly apart from your boyfriend. He is talented though. So are you.’

“I still can’t use my magic.”

‘It’ll work with you again.’ He was certain that Felicia had just shrugged. ‘Call it an ethereal feeling.’ Felicia chuckled at that. ‘Will you be gone long?’

“A week?”

‘You’re going dressed like that?’

Fraser paused for a moment, watching the butterflies dance for each other. Why, though? That’s what he’d brought them for, after all, and dammit, he liked them. Even if the other feelings would be hot on his heels. But come morning, by the time they left, his parents would know. Perhaps sooner if he dared to wear them home. Which he was tempted to do. But, did he want to take the risk? Why couldn’t he just be left to be himself?

Felicia had said exactly that, hadn’t she, that night? Because her parents hadn’t allowed her to be herself. To be a girl. That she had been forced to be a scion hadn’t been enough for them, they’d forced that upon her as well. Forced her to remain as a boy, just another tool in their grand schemes. Denied almost everything. Except for that night. And then he’d...

‘FRASER!’

Fraser looked up at Felicia in fright.

‘I don’t blame you for that. I don’t hold it against you. If anything, it was a release. Please, please, let go of the guilt. I can still see it there, clinging to you, and it isn’t doing you any good.’

“Sorry,” he murmured. Uriah was looking at him too, concerned. “It’s okay. Just... memories.”

Fraser sighed. It was hard. How could he, even if she had forgiven him. He wanted to, but, he...

She was going to grizzle at him again. They’d been over this so many times. Fraser smiled to himself. Felicia really was sweet. Perhaps one day he would be able to do so. And perhaps be able to do something for her as well.

She had deserved better than her parents. Who had denied who she was, and forced her to hide that she had magic, not allowing her even the most basic understanding. The Guardians’ had labelled those like her ‘scions’, as usually they were the heir of a wealthy or influential family. One whom they didn’t want to lose control over. But, when they had no understanding at all, their magic could be unpredictable and dangerous. It was probably how she had managed to breach the wards, completely unaware that she had done so. But that had not been her fault at all. That entirely lay on her parents, and him for failing to protect her...

“Yes,” he stated, taking himself away from that line of thought and going back to the original question. “That was the plan.” He was somewhat looking forward to it, even with all of the complications that it would cause. With Julia, and with the spellswords. Burt was about as bigoted as they came.

‘Sooo jealous!’ Felicia giggled as she floated down around them. ‘It’s you though.’

“I don’t even know who me is,” Fraser mumbled quietly.

‘May I ask you a question?’ Felicia sounded... he wasn’t quite sure, actually. Curious perhaps?

“Sure?”

‘If you were a girl, what would your name be?’

Fraser felt himself get defensive. “I’m not a girl, Felicia. I’m not like you.”

Felicia’s voice was soft. ‘I wasn’t saying that you were. You can’t just tell a girl that she is a girl. That’s a personal thing, that they have to reach and accept. Humour me though. Have you ever considered it? Considered a name?’

Fraser stared back at the ground. “Callie.” There was no hesitation in his answer, once he allowed himself to actually say it.

“He likes that name,” Uriah said, that adorable cheeky smile back again. “Always has, for his entire life. It’s a beautiful name too.”

‘Callie. That’s a nice name. I like it. It suits you.’

All that Fraser could manage was another blush. He’d been doing that a lot lately too. Yeah, he liked it too. But it wasn’t him. He wasn’t Callie. That much had been made abundantly clear by his parents.

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Fraser sighed again, and stared at the trees. Nature and its eternal war against humanity. Thinking about his parents had soured his mood. No matter where he was, they still had an effect on him, influenced him. Something that he just couldn’t escape. He so wished that it was otherwise. Even without his magic they had never released him, always trying to be in control of his life.

There was no indication that the fox was around either. Not that he had anything to feed it, but seeing it always made him feel a little better. A reminder of a fond memory.

“Callie? Fraser?”

“Hmm?” Fraser looked over at Uriah. He sounded nervous for some reason. And looked it, too.

“This... This is for you.” Uriah pulled a small box out of his pocket and all but shoved it into Fraser’s hand, and then stared off into the trees, his face going a tinge of red. He was blushing! It made his freckles stand out a bit more. It was kind of endearing.

Fraser looked down at the box. It was plain, small, a reddy brown colour. One of the ones that you’d flip the lid of. That you got at jewellery stores. He carefully flipped the lid and looked inside it.

‘Oh my gosh. That is so cute!’

Nestled inside the white felt inner was a gold ring, stylised in the image of a fox, a small ruby for its eye, and small citrines along its length. It was beautiful.

The emotions slammed into him, and he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flowed down his face, his body wracked by sobs as he cried, again, the box and the ring held tightly in front of him. For the third time now in twenty-four hours. He couldn’t stop himself. He wouldn’t. Not this time. There were no images. No memories. Just the ring. And what it meant.

He could feel Uriah’s arms around him again. Strong and comforting. But his voice, it was laced with worry and fear. “Did I mess up?”

Fraser shook his head. “No,” he somehow managed, in amongst the other, frankly embarrassing, noises that he was making. And then just let it all continue to flow out, Uriah still holding him and Felicia’s presence nearby, even if she wasn’t saying anything else. Having her there as well was nice. Comforting. Even if she was seeing him like this. Again.

“Are you asking?” Fraser finally asked once he had settled enough to be able to say something without stopping mid sentence.

Uriah pulled his arms back, and leant back against the wall, his hands on his legs, and then intertwined. A nervous habit of his that Fraser had seen many a time. “Yeah,” Uriah said quietly. For all of his strong and confident declarations, he was being oh so bashful at the moment.

Fraser pulled the ring out of the box, and watched as it glinted in the sun. It was beautiful. And it carried so much weight and meaning. He had meant what he said. To his parents. To Julia. To Uriah. Stretching his left hand, he slid the ring onto his ring finger. It fit perfectly, and looked like it belonged there. Fraser could feel himself going very red. Right now, he was... he was his.

“Were they a pair, or do we have another date in town?” he asked, still staring at the ring.

“A pair.” Another quiet response from Uriah as he pulled out a small velvet bag, and gently tipped out an identical ring, except that its eye was an emerald instead of a ruby. He fiddled with it for a moment, and then handed it to Fraser.

“I need your hand too,” Fraser stated, gently holding the ring, and then Uriah’s left hand, before sliding the ring onto Uriah’s ring finger. Another perfect fit.

‘You can’t deny that he’s your boyfriend any longer!’

No. That he couldn’t. “Fine. You win there,” he said back to her as he looked at Uriah. Who was looking down at his hand, and still blushing. He really was very handsome, more so in this light, at this point in time. His hair, the sun, it gave him an almost radiant quality.

He sworn that he’d only marry someone that he loved.

Uriah meant the world to him. And more. So much more. He wanted to be with him always. Together. Feelings were flowing through him. Familiar and foreign.

He’d just made the declaration. Willingly. Happily. Because he’d wanted to. In part because of what he’d already said, making it more than just the words said in rage, but also because...

It was more than just possessiveness, jealousy, and yearning for his best friend.

It was because he loved him. Didn’t he? He. Loved. Uriah.

When had that happened? When had his friendship changed in such a way?

No. It hadn’t changed. Really, it had always been that way. And only gotten stronger over time, even though he’d tried to bury it like everything else. And failed.

His parents, they weren’t going to accept this. It’d be the last straw. But right now, he didn’t care. He. Loved. Uriah. And he wanted this. He really did. Somehow, they’d make it work. They had to, or it’d be the end for both of them.

Fraser’s eyes hadn’t left Uriah. This time he’d ask though. “Uriah?”

Uriah looked back at him. A nervous smile, his alluring brown eyes. “Hmm?”

“Can I?”

Uriah gave him a confused look. “Sure?”

That was good enough. Fraser leant in, and gave him a kiss. This time, Uriah kissed him back.

‘You two are such a cute pair!’

---

Fraser lay on his bed. He was tired. Restless. It was well and truly night, the witching hour fast approaching. But he couldn’t fall asleep, even though he wanted to. Everything was still rampaging through his mind. Everything that had happened. And...

They had eventually returned to the complex, Fraser reluctantly deciding to get changed again before he did so. With what they’d done, he didn’t want to risk the potential attention. Not right now, and it was a small price to pay for the extra peace of mind. But tomorrow he’d be wearing them again. They wouldn’t have the opportunity then, and it was unlikely that they’d see Burt or the other spellswords till they had to stop for the night mid-journey.

Their dynamic had shifted slightly now. They’d made the declaration, and there was an air of nervousness about them both. Fraser wasn’t too sure exactly how he should be acting now, and neither did Uriah, he guessed. Nothing had changed, and yet, well, a lot had. Especially with all that Fraser had done over the last day. He was more than a little confused.

He had made something special for dinner though. Chicken Piccata, with a side of steamed broccoli and fried rice. He’d had all the ingredients already, and he knew that Uriah really liked it. Kind of a celebration, but without any actual announcement of it being so, and without any wine. Both of them could do without the side effects of that. Then they’d just lounged on the sofa as they always did, reading books, Fraser with one of his paperbacks off the shelf, Uriah with his e-reader. Until he’d been unable to keep his eyes properly open, and had reluctantly dragged himself off to bed.

His finger traced the ring. He was lonely. That was the crux of it.

Sliding off his bed, he made his way to the door, and into the lounge. Uriah was still there, reading.

“Please. Come lie with me.” He said it before he had a chance to stop himself. Before he could regret it and change his mind.

Uriah cocked his head as he put the device down, and gave him a curious look. “I sleep in a lot less than you do.”

Yes, he knew that. He’d seen him get up enough times, half awake, with most of his body on display. Fraser blushed at the memories. Uriah looked after his body. But, he still wanted the company. “That’s fine,” he mumbled.

Another curious look, then a slight smile as Uriah stood. “Sure, then.”

Fraser made sure he got into bed first after turning out the light, shifting over to make room for Uriah as he slid in beside him. Fraser was nervous. It was not something that they had done in a long time. Not since they were kids.

Fraser shifted himself again, up against Uriah’s back, draping an arm over him, and nuzzling his head into Uriah’s neck. Uriah made a contented noise, relaxing into him, his breathing steady. Calm. Fraser could feel himself relaxing as well, sleep keen to take its hold. Uriah’s bare skin was warm, his scent... This was nice. She could get used to this.