Why, Can't You Eat?
Chapter 61
What should I say first? I remember hearing once that a fight’s won by the one with the loudest voice, but this wasn’t a fight. While I hesitated, Endymion spoke.
“Miss Lily. Is your body back to normal?”
“What? Ah yes.”
I replied as usual, though his voice sounded extremely plagued with worries. Then, I suddenly remembered what Lilith had said—that I had did the deed with Odil and Endymion while I was asleep. My cheeks became hot as I recalled how I said something awkward, asking what if the three of us did it.
But now was not the time to be ashamed of it.
“More than that, I came because I wanted to ask you. My ring…”
“I’m sorry.”
“…Why did you do that? You said you would help me, Sir Endymion. You said you were on my side.”
“Ri…”
“I’ve heard you said that you didn’t want me to leave the castle if I found the ring. I didn’t come here to hear such obvious things! You said you like me. Sir Endymion and Sir Ares were like that too. I wish you wouldn’t go too with just greed and violence that didn’t think of the other person at all, because you like me.”
It was before I even sat in the chair. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought of cutting him off. The feelings that I had piled up and never thought to release eventually burst out.
Ares was about to say something, but I was first.
“I’m…”
“You’re sorry? If you apologize like that, of course you commanders will feel at ease, but what about me? I… I always felt guilty because I attacked Sir Odil and Sir Ares so forcefully. I also felt guilty knowing that Sir Endymion liked me and used him.”
Even more so because I couldn’t accept that feeling. After pouring out angry words in a row, I exhaled deeply. I know I have to be calm, but when I saw his face, I couldn’t.
“You know how important it is to me. You knew that I wanted to suppress my instincts as a succubus, that I wanted to return home, and that I became a maid to find it, so why did you choose such an extreme method?”
“I li…”
“You like me? Then you shouldn’t do that to me! I’d rather you not express that you like me! No, that’s not it— Why do you even like me? It’s not like you haven’t thought about the fact that you’ve been subjected to a succubus’s fascination.”
And I then looked straight into Odil’s eyes.
When our eyes met, the dark blue eyes shook in confusion. In fact, the thing I couldn’t understand the most was that person. Even though he hated me so much, it was so sudden that he became like that even though he had never shown that kind of expression.
“And you hate me, Sir Odil. Regardless of what you hate, I knew that you really wanted to kill me. So I thought I would never want to be found out by you. But it was so strange you were pretending not to know that, and became an accomplice to this. Be honest. It wasn’t because you liked me, but because you couldn’t forgive me, you intended to keep me beside you to torment me.”
“I didn’t think of anything like that!”
“Just say you thought so!”
“Damn it! I already fell in love with you at first sight, what do you want me to do…!”
“Wha…”
Odil spat out a short curse word, his expression crumpling. Damian and Ares opened their eyes wide and looked at him. I thought I had heard it wrong for a moment, but judging from the two people’s reactions, it wasn’t like that.
My lips trembled. The answer was beyond my expectation. I was speechless. Love at first sight. In that situation?
“…What’s wrong with your tastes?”
“…F*ck.”
He averted his gaze at my sincere question. So he has been acting that way on purpose? But no matter how ignorant I was, Odil’s attitude was clear.
He hated me.
He said, shaking his head nervously.
“When you suddenly disappeared… That’s when I realized.”
He didn’t speak completely, but I could see what he wanted to say. The first time he saw me. My mind was confused.
Ares, who had been looking around, jumped up.
“Milady, I-I actually like you because you’re so pretty! I-I, also, fell in love at first sight… I think.”
“…I really didn’t want to say this. I know. That I am beautiful. So, you might have been moved by the face, but didn’t you think that it was a fabricated emotion?”
“Ah, I happened to observe you talking to Regulus and became interested in you. It’s been like this since I didn’t know you were a succubus, so I hope you don’t misunderstand my feelings even if you don’t know those two.”
“…….”
Why are these people doing this? It was all due to Odil suddenly saying such a thing. Unknowingly, I looked at him with resentment, but Odil only avoided my gaze whenever our eyes met. But at first glance, I could see that his ears were red, so I couldn’t say anything anymore.
“…Actually, it doesn’t matter how the commanders came to like me.”
“Wow, after hearing everything, now you’re changing your words.”
“Well, that’s not what’s important right now.”
“Your face is also red. You’re the one who asked first.”
“Ah, anyway, I told Damian, but I have no intention of ever forgiving you all. Yesterday I was so angry I couldn’t stand it. It was the first time I even thought of hitting someone!”
It was the first time I ever thought of not only hitting but also cursing. I wasn’t this angry with those kids who told me that they liked me when I was young and then changed their attitude like flipping their palms.
I was so angry, obviously, because I trusted these people so much.
“But I don’t think there is anything wrong with me, even though I behaved complacently. Of course, even if the situation has turned out like this, it doesn’t mean that what I did will disappear. I also have a situation… I’m not going to leave the palace right away.”
Once I had that ring on my finger again, Lilith would fall asleep. I looked for the ring with that intention in the first place but now I was hesitant about what to do. I had a promise with Maria right now, so I planned to stay until the next night market, but in the meantime, I needed the commanders so I could absorb essence.
“Even though it was a verbal agreement, I don’t want to be disappointed anymore. Please find my ring.”
——
Chapter 61: 61
What should I say first? I remember hearing once that a fight’s won by the one with the loudest voice, but this wasn’t a fight. While I hesitated, Endymion spoke.
“Miss Lily. Is your body back to normal?”
“What? Ah yes.”
I replied as usual, though his voice sounded extremely plagued with worries. Then, I suddenly remembered what Lilith had said—that I had did the deed with Odil and Endymion while I was asleep. My cheeks became hot as I recalled how I said something awkward, asking what if the three of us did it.
But now was not the time to be ashamed of it.
“More than that, I came because I wanted to ask you. My ring…”
“I’m sorry.”
“…Why did you do that? You said you would help me, Sir Endymion. You said you were on my side.”
“Ri…”
“I’ve heard you said that you didn’t want me to leave the castle if I found the ring. I didn’t come here to hear such obvious things! You said you like me. Sir Endymion and Sir Ares were like that too. I wish you wouldn’t go too with just greed and violence that didn’t think of the other person at all, because you like me.”
It was before I even sat in the chair. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought of cutting him off. The feelings that I had piled up and never thought to release eventually burst out.
Ares was about to say something, but I was first.
“I’m…”
“You’re sorry? If you apologize like that, of course you commanders will feel at ease, but what about me? I… I always felt guilty because I attacked Sir Odil and Sir Ares so forcefully. I also felt guilty knowing that Sir Endymion liked me and used him.”
Even more so because I couldn’t accept that feeling. After pouring out angry words in a row, I exhaled deeply. I know I have to be calm, but when I saw his face, I couldn’t.
“You know how important it is to me. You knew that I wanted to suppress my instincts as a succubus, that I wanted to return home, and that I became a maid to find it, so why did you choose such an extreme method?”
“I li…”
“You like me? Then you shouldn’t do that to me! I’d rather you not express that you like me! No, that’s not it— Why do you even like me? It’s not like you haven’t thought about the fact that you’ve been subjected to a succubus’s fascination.”
And I then looked straight into Odil’s eyes.
“And you hate me, Sir Odil. Regardless of what you hate, I knew that you really wanted to kill me. So I thought I would never want to be found out by you. But it was so strange you were pretending not to know that, and became an accomplice to this. Be honest. It wasn’t because you liked me, but because you couldn’t forgive me, you intended to keep me beside you to torment me.”
“I didn’t think of anything like that!”
“Just say you thought so!”
“Damn it! I already fell in love with you at first sight, what do you want me to do…!”
“Wha…”
Odil spat out a short curse word, his expression crumpling. Damian and Ares opened their eyes wide and looked at him. I thought I had heard it wrong for a moment, but judging from the two people’s reactions, it wasn’t like that.
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He fell in love at first sight? Him?My lips trembled. The answer was beyond my expectation. I was speechless. Love at first sight. In that situation?
“…What’s wrong with your tastes?”
“…F*ck.”
He averted his gaze at my sincere question. So he has been acting that way on purpose? But no matter how ignorant I was, Odil’s attitude was clear.
He hated me.
He said, shaking his head nervously.
“When you suddenly disappeared… That’s when I realized.”
He didn’t speak completely, but I could see what he wanted to say. The first time he saw me. My mind was confused.
Ares, who had been looking around, jumped up.
“Milady, I-I actually like you because you’re so pretty! I-I, also, fell in love at first sight… I think.”
“…I really didn’t want to say this. I know. That I am beautiful. So, you might have been moved by the face, but didn’t you think that it was a fabricated emotion?”
“Ah, I happened to observe you talking to Regulus and became interested in you. It’s been like this since I didn’t know you were a succubus, so I hope you don’t misunderstand my feelings even if you don’t know those two.”
Why are these people doing this? It was all due to Odil suddenly saying such a thing. Unknowingly, I looked at him with resentment, but Odil only avoided my gaze whenever our eyes met. But at first glance, I could see that his ears were red, so I couldn’t say anything anymore.
“…Actually, it doesn’t matter how the commanders came to like me.”
“Wow, after hearing everything, now you’re changing your words.”
“Well, that’s not what’s important right now.”
“Your face is also red. You’re the one who asked first.”
“Ah, anyway, I told Damian, but I have no intention of ever forgiving you all. Yesterday I was so angry I couldn’t stand it. It was the first time I even thought of hitting someone!”
It was the first time I ever thought of not only hitting but also cursing. I wasn’t this angry with those kids who told me that they liked me when I was young and then changed their attitude like flipping their palms.
I was so angry, obviously, because I trusted these people so much.
“But I don’t think there is anything wrong with me, even though I behaved complacently. Of course, even if the situation has turned out like this, it doesn’t mean that what I did will disappear. I also have a situation… I’m not going to leave the palace right away.”
Once I had that ring on my finger again, Lilith would fall asleep. I looked for the ring with that intention in the first place but now I was hesitant about what to do. I had a promise with Maria right now, so I planned to stay until the next night market, but in the meantime, I needed the commanders so I could absorb essence.
“Even though it was a verbal agreement, I don’t want to be disappointed anymore. Please find my ring.”
——
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