Chapter 36: 036 : Who Farted? Not Me!

Who knows a day will come when Jade Lin Couryard's main master would voluntarily go out from his cave to 'socialize' with people. To socialize in a sense that people will have no choice but to notice his presence. Since day one, Lin Mian Mian did nothing aside from hiding inside his hole. So what made him change his mind and 'go out'?

Lin Mian Mian is already the topic of the town, and this event created more speculations. Everyone knows that Lin Mian Mian had become the emperor's current favorite. Now that the month is up, maybe the reason why Lin Mian Mian decided to go out and 'interact' with people is that he already lost favor? Without the backing of His Highness, Lin Mian Mian is just one of the 'wives'.

But this does not coincide with the real authority Lin Mian Mian holds. He is the son of the empire's greatest general, his position must be above than the women inside the harem. Also, he seems to get the favor of the Empress Dowager so his falling out is almost impossible. Who cares if the Yan Emperor no longer likes him now? If you think about it, a month had just gone by.

Maybe he will become a 'favorite' again when the emperor returns.

These rumors went pass the ears of the maids on the neighboring courtyards, pass to the serving servants, and pass to those people who were allowed entrance to the palace. The officials that like to gossip during their free time would also secretly discuss the topic, wondering where will the tides bring them. This discussion then was opened to the official's family to know their opinions, until the word of the mouth reached the walls of the empire.

On the other hand, the topic of gossip is experiencing another level of nausea. Lin Mian Mian has been suffering on his daily morning sickness and is often found curled up on the sink. Lu Mao is always on his side to help him elevate the discomfort while handing him some towels to wipe his mouth clean.

It has been two weeks since the physician's diagnosis. The symptoms of pregnancy are becoming more evident.

Just today, aside from usual nausea, Lin Mian Mian suddenly felt his chest aching. Specifically, his nipples became swollen. It wasn't the pain that people experienced when they get wounded, but the feeling like something is getting 'stuffed' or 'refilled'. According to the maids' assessment, Lin Mian Mian started to lactate. They only needed to wait for a few more days for discharge to come out.

Lu Mao noticed his master's discomfort. He took the used towel from Lin Mian Mian's hand and exchanged it with a warm cup of water. He also opened the box where the scented pouch was placed and let his master inhale it. Lin Mian Mian can feel his body calming down.

"Master Lin, how about taking some rest for now?" Lu Mao asked.

For the past two weeks, Lin Mian Mian did not idle around. Since the day he found out that he is pregnant, he has been working hard to get noticed by people. Every day, Lin Mian Mian will go out from his courtyard just to visit some people, the Empress Dowager, some of the close officials, and the women of the harem. With the fatigue that he is experiencing just by getting pregnant, he also has to deal with these scheming people.

Though not all of them are scheming, Lin Mian Mian still made a point that everyone should be aware of his existence. He flaunted his face and beauty, riches, talents, and of course his current role in Yan JinLong's heart. While he was shy a long ago about it, this time he even announced that 'Yan JinLong loves me and only me, btches' with a heart-heart hand gesture.

For the plan to work, Lin Mian Mian has to sacrifice a lot.

"No... It's all right. It is still usual nausea. Don't worry," Lin Mian Mian said.

"But Master Lin, you have been overworking yourself for a lot these days. Taking a break once will not hurt," Lu Mao insisted.

Lin Mian Mian thought of what Lu Mao said and agreed to it. After all, he is indeed feeling uncomfortable today. Aside from the dizzyness, his stomach also feels somewhat bloated. He recalled the food he ate last night and found nothing peculiar. Lu Mao and the maids are very strict on his diet so he knows that he didn't eat anything bad.

While he was thinking about what possibilities caused this event, a sudden announcement came knocking on their door. It seems that Yin Mei Mei wanted to invite Lin Mian Mian over for tea. Lin Mian Mian could not help but smirk after hearing the summon. It seems that his plan is doing very well.

Another fact from Lin Mian Mian's current inconsistencies is that he never visited Yin Mei Mei. One reason is that they departed in bad terms last time, and the second is to call the mouse on the bait. Lin Mian Mian has changed from the usual innocent unbreakable plate to a shady scheming wife with intentions so Yin Mei Mei will be alarmed. He thought that he needed a month for this thing to happen.

"Then, tell her that I am going," Lin Mian Mian responded.

Lu Mao said in a worried tone, "But Master Lin, your body..."

"Don't worry. We will be riding the sedan over," Lin Mian Mian appeased the child. "This is the chance that we have been waiting. I don't want to waste it."

With nothing more to change his mind, Lu Mao followed Lin Mian Mian's order. He told the messenger that brought the summon that Lin Mian Mian will come and visit the Yin Wife. Lin Mian Mian did not take the time to prepare and departed. After an hour, both the masters of the Yin and Lin Courtyards are having some nice tea in the backyard.

Yin Mei Mei is the most favorite wife before Lin Mian Mian so obviously her Courtyard is fancier than the other ladies from the harem. Just by stepping on the gates, one could see how well mended and taken good care of her property. The number of maids around the area is also not less than a dozen, gallantly exposing her riches.

Even though the area is smaller compared to Lin Mian Mian's, it won when it comes to landscaping.

Though, Lin Mian Mian liked his courtyard despite its state. At least, in that place, he needs to worry about 'pollution'. The close to nature environment is also good for his health and it brought a fantasy-like vibe for a modern person like him. Yin Mei Mei's courtyard did not cause any envy, instead, it made him realize how artificial the people in this area are.

Artificial like plastic - non-biodegradable and the main causes of pollution.

Yin Mei Mei prepared the grand hall for Lin Mian Mian. She made sure that the place they are saying is shouting gold and riches. If it was other concubines, they will surely feel jealous because of their incompetence. She never thought that Lin Mian Mian will not react that seeing 'normal'. After all, when it comes to riches, even though Lin Mian Mian is poor in modern times, he had already seen the 'riches' from the books and televisions.

Mere porcelain that is made of clay can't be compared to a million-dollar bill. Unless it becomes antique...

"I heard that Sister Lin has been busy these days. I thought I would never have the chance to invite you over," Yin Mei Mei said with her oh-so coquettish voice.

Lin Mian Mian gave her an indulging smile. "Ah no, how would I miss 'Sister Yin's' invitation? It's just these days I have been feeling great and energetic."

"Oh... Energetic you say?" Yin Mei Mei smiled very sweetly. "What made Sister Lin energetic? I heard that you have been sickly the past weeks. Maybe the physician handed you some magical cure?"

"Magical cure? It's impossible," Lin Mian Mian chuckled with his hand covering the smirk on his mouth. "I have been sickly since I am young. The physicians said that my system is weak due to my body constitution. It's almost impossible to cure it."

He made a sad gesture as though mourning for the dead. He made an effort of fluttering his eyes and let a small drop of water to fall from the side of his eyes. He pretended to be pitiful while showing that these tears are just made out of crocodile. Even the maids could see that he is acting.

"That's sad," Yin Mei Mei said while sneering on her said.

She gave Lin Mian Mian with a worried look but actually, she is cursing him non-stop. Since that accident that happened near the Emperor's study, Yin Mei Mei knows that Lin Mian Mian is a scheming white lotus. All this weak acting is just a facade for people to side with him using sympathy. It seems that this btch is already showing his colors ba.

He must be afraid that he is losing favor.

"But somehow it is weird ba," Lin Mian Mian said.

"What is weird?" Yin Mei Mei asked.

"After Sister Yin gifted me the tea, somehow, I am feeling all right. It seems that Sister Yin's tea is compatible with me," Lin Mian Mian said.

"You flatter me too much. That tea is created by my family. It indeed has medicinal effects but I never thought that Sister Lin likes it," Yin Mei Mei said.

Suddenly, the glint on her eyes shone visibly. Lin Mian Mian caught the sparkling schemes of the green tea bitch and held himself from laughing out loud. Instead, he showed that he liked the tea genuinely with a great smile. He made sure that he looks like someone 'addicted' to it. Yin Mei Mei somehow believed his acting and made her maids bring some sacks for Lin Mian Mian.

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"Aside from the effects, the taste is also good," Lin Mian Mian added. "I have tasted some tea before but this one tastes great. I would like to offer this to the emperor once he comes back-"

"NO!" Yin Mei Mei suddenly shouted.

Lin Mian Mian frowned. "No?"

"Oh, I mean, he he," Yin Mei Mei cutely knocked her head with a small punch. "This tea... I could also give the emperor some portion when he returns. Just tell me when you wanted it."

"Really? That's great!" Lin Mian Mian said.

Yin Mei Mei clenched her hands into a fist under the table. She almost made the emperor infertile! Even though she already has sons from the emperor, it is still not a good thing to have Yan JinLong impotent. Though, if it is done by Lin Mian Mian, maybe the one that will be punished will not be her...

"Hmmm?" Yin Mei Mei somehow caught something. "Where does that smell comes from?"

Yin Mei Mei looked at Lin Mian Mian since the scent is from him. Lin Mian Mian raised the scented pouch hidden under his clothes. The scent of the herbs got stronger now that it is out in the open.

"Sister Fu gave this as a gift," Lin Mian Mian inhaled the soothing smell. "Smells great, right?"

"Ah, the Fu Family is best in making scented pouches. She also gave me one a long time ago," Yin Mei Mei muttered. "Wait a minute, I'll have my maids to serve us with refreshments..."

While Yin Mei Mei is commanding her maids with whatnots, Lin Mian Mian remained on the side. He returned the pouch inside his clothes feeling good from the scent. He wanted to add some orders to show his interest in Yin Mei Mei's drugged food when suddenly he felt his stomach churn weirdly. It wasn't painful but the feeling is close when you wanted to take some poop.

Yes, it seems that he needs to do number two.

But what now? Should he just stand up and ask the lady for the nearest dumping site or just sit still and wait since they are close to the ending? And of all the time, why does he need to dump some shit right now? This never happened before and the timing is not good. Lu Mao who has been guarding on the said noticed his master's large beads of sweat.

"Master Lin?" Lu Mao called his master with a hush. "What's the matter?"

"My stomach... hurts," Lin Mian Mian forced some words behind clenched teeth.

Lu Mao frowned. "It hurts? What about the ba-"

"No, it's not that kind of hurt. I wanted to..." to take some shit.

Lu Mao realized what his master meant with a nod and looked at Yin Mei Mei on the opposite view. He asked, "Should I ask the Yin Lady for an excuse?"

"That... what will you ask?" Lin Mian Mian could fell that something is coming out from his back.

"Well... what would Master Lin want to ask?" Lu Mao could see his master controlling the back part. Lin Mian Mian is obviously fidgeting.

"What... I want to ask..."

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuooooooooopopopopopop-!

Lin Mian Mian shifted his position in hopes of controlling the urge. Who would have thought that that move gave way to the locked power to be released? In that instance, a loud and long sound of fart was heard on the silent courtyard. Even Yin Mei Mei who is busy scheming could not help but to stop talking and give Lin Mian Mian a stare.

Did he just fart?

Lin Mian Main's face remained emotionless - he is already unattached from the world. How could he, the graceful Lin Mian Mian, fart in front of these people? The shame that he is feeling is over the top. The dump that he thought that he needed is just a long loud fart. Lin Mian Mian tried to save the situation by chuckling a bit.

"Oh my, bad gases. Seems like the tea is detoxifying all the bad gases-"

Boop-!

Another fart! Lin Mian Mian did not do anything! It seems that there are still some leftover gases left on his stomach. He chuckled again while fanning his sweat-filled face with his hand. If it was just the sound, then the farting is still okay. But the smell around him is starting to smell bad like rotten eggs...

"Ah, my bad-"

Bruuupop-!

Boppupuppp-!

Braaaapppppp!

Lin Mian Mian never thought that his butt could make such sounds! Maybe if combined he could make a farting orchestra?

Lin Mian Mian no longer said a word as his face blackened. Yes, he is the one who farted, and it seems that there are still some incoming farts to arrive. He thought that asking Yin Mei Mei that he will take some dump is non-lethal compared to his farting.

At least, that one is done in private.

"Ah... um..." Yin Mei Mei's nose could smell the concocted wonders of rotten eggs and molded socks. "That..."

Lin Mian Mian smiled deeply and said, "This lady will excuse for now. I'm sorry for..."

"It's okay, It's okay," Yin Mei Mei did not stop the person from leaving. This is the first time that she wanted to drive Lin Mian Mian away. "Sister Lin must take good care of it..."

"Of course, then please excuse this lady..."

After Lin Mian Mian left the gates, who knows which among the two persons are faster from running away. Was it Yin Mei Mei who almost fainted from the smokes of an atomic bomb? Or the red-faced Lin Mian Mian who keeps on farting for the whole day?

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