Chapter 37: 037 : The Emperor’s Bed Status

Everyone knows about the farting episode.

The ones who spread it out describe the event wonderfully as though it is a legend of the ancient past. The beautiful words that describe a person's farting are indeed very majestic that even the Empress Dowager could not help but want to write it on the record. Lin Mian Mian's orchestrated farting is just the best in the world.

"Like the winds from the northern mountains, the sound of the rumbling was akin to a dragon's snore! The vibrations it caused made the people silent from waiting, wondering when the next one will come-"

Lin Mian Mian threw the pamphlet that contained the poems for the farting god. His face is already black from the shame that he received from the earlier encounter, added by the flames of these people who thought that his farting is an adorable joke.

Adorable? What is adorable with that? Was farting such a cute thing that you have some free time writing about it? Why not try to learn some tax reforms than writing about such useless gas? You could have created some godly idea than to become so enthusiastically artistic like this!

SUCH A WASTE OF TALENT!

#Everyone is teasing me. Internet people, how to deal with this? T_T #

Lin Mian Mian paced around for a while before sitting down on the nearby chair. Lu Mao just entered the room carrying a tray when he found pieces of crumpled paper scattered unto the corner. He made a praying gesture and thought that whoever wrote those 'wonderful poems' must be courting death. Let's wait for a while before Lin Mian Mian's mood swings will suddenly order the people to kill that scholar.

Seeing his master puffing his cheeks like an angry squirrel, Lu Mao quickly entered his role. Though his master looks very cute with his appearance, he must consider that any strong emotions might be harmful to the baby. He must appease him quickly or it will give unwanted results.

"Master Lin, I brought the green mangoes that you asked," Lu Mao showed the sour-smelling unpeeled fruit. "Would Master want to eat it here or to the pavilion?"

Lin Mian Mian's keen senses had already smelled the fruit earlier and could not help but to have his mouth water. He gulped his saliva down as he stood up to see the fruit. His bad mood was easily lifted as he chose the mango to eat by size. Lu Mao watched Lin Mian Mian took the largest and probably the sourest piece among the fruits.

"I can already taste this one by just the smell," Lin Mian Mian said with starry eyes. "I'll just eat it here. No need for unnecessary things. Wait, I'll help you peel it..."

"O-Okay," Lu Mao was not able to make a move when Lin Mian Mian just peeled the mango.

With skilled hands, Lin Mian Mian gracefully peeled the fruit and then sliced it to strips. Lu Mao took this chance to bring the condiments on the side table. Lin Mian Mian busied himself as he peels fruit and eats them with delight, ignoring the mess that he created. Lu Mao could not help but heave a sigh as he watches his Master Lin enjoy eating.

Pregnant people sure look very blessed and happy.

Lu Mao could not help but recall the words Lin Mian Mian told them on that day. After knowing the tea and cookies was poisoned, then why would they master want to consume it? Is he not afraid that it will affect the baby? When they thought that Lin Mian Mian wanted to give up the life of the seedling, Lin Mian Mian's words made them look at him with amazement.

That plan is very effective. Though, they could only do it once.

Failure is not an option.

Despite the wonders of the farting episode, Lin Mian Mian did not shy out and hide back to his house again. Instead, he became more active and unrestrained; even used that incident as a conversational opener.

Actually, they all know that Lin Mian Mian is somewhat ashamed of that accident so they are using it to gain the upper hand. Little did they know that Lin Mian Mian is more worried about his growing tummy than the bad gases.

At the end of the third week, Lin Mian Mian noticed the changes in his body. The nausea is no longer frequent than usual but it was replaced by some obvious signs like his feet getting swollen or his stomach growing a slight bulge. At a glance, nobody will notice his stomach's weird bump.

But who knows if it can still be covered when it grows more...

Though, Lin Mian Mian seems to be relaxed even after knowing this fact since his plan is getting closer to the next phase. What he only needed is an event that could be used to highlight his 'incompetence'.

By incompetence, he meant by showing how disagreeable he could be.

He is planning on whatever shitty thing he could think just to involve the persons that should be punished. He was on his idle thinking when the Empress Dowager suddenly summoned him to the court. Lin Mian Mian wondered the reason and thought that the Empress Dowager just missed him.

Well, experiencing from the past events, the Empress Dowager must be missing him...

The Empress Dowager saw the dazed expression of the thirteenth wife and could not help but to feel helpless.

Ah, this child is really naive ah.

It is good to be innocent but having that trait inside the palace will only give the master doom...

Lin Mian Mian was invited to the court but the Empress Dowager brought him to a nearby pavilion. He is still thinking about what the dowager wanted when he was suddenly surprised by a big meal before him. If it was before, he would have accepted the food. But right now, the intense scent made his nose wrinkle.

The Empress Dowager of course knows the 'glutton' of Lin Mian Mian before so she prepared everything from the appetizers up to the desserts. Even though it is a thoughtful message, Lin Mian Mian's change of taste made it taste bland.

He suddenly wanted to vomit.

Though, the dowager did not notice his discomfort at all and treated his actions as though he is embarrassed. She somewhat understood his actions as being shy from that little 'gas' episode. He must be thinking of burying himself to a hole to avoid people's gaze. Anyways, Lin Mian Mian sat face to face with the Lady.

The two people made a few pleasantries about the good weather and whatever. The Empress Dowager confessed that she missed seeing Lin Mian Mian so she used this free time to chat with him. Lin Mian Mian already know that the Empress Dowager only wanted to get close to him so he just let the event happen.

Well, isn't it a bit unusual for an in-law to like his or her child's companion?

They are just happily chatting when the conversation suddenly made a sudden U-turn. It was too much that the rider of the racecar flew up while the vehicle tumbled around - crashed with a smell of smoke and gas. Anyone who is not prepared surely will die in this incident.

It all started when a breeze of wind decided to bring a warm but refreshing air. It made a pass through towards Lin Mian Mian that made the scent from his pouch to scatter. The Empress Dowager nearby smelled the nice scent and somehow made some reminiscence. That scent made her remember some good old memories.

"That smell..." The Empress Dowager spoke. Her smile looks like a teenager who just received the first time sweetness.

"E-eh? What smell?" Lin Mian Mian, though, suddenly becomes alert.

He smelled around to detect 'the smell'. But, he didn't fart. Where could the smell come from?

"It seems that you made friends of Lady Fu," The Empress Dowager continued. "If I am not wrong, that scent could only be made by the Fu Family."

"..." Nodding dumbly, Lin Mian Mian realized what the lady meant.

So it wasn't his fart...

"Y-yes, we chat sometimes."

Concubine Fu XiaoSan only visited his courtyard once. 'Sometimes' seems to be a bit exaggerated. It would be more precise to say that they just only met and made some small chat the other day. The Lady hummed in approval.

"She is a good girl but a bit stubborn. She has some great guts and proud. She never gifts just anyone so it seems that she likes you."

"Really?" Lin Mian Mian dryly chuckled. "Well, it does seem like that..."

"To think of it, I remembered having that one before," the Lady made a sweet smile while showing an embarrassed expression. "Ah, those days are really something ah..."

Lin Mian Mian just finished eating three bowls of meat-filled dumplings. It was his favorite food before, and still now, but it has become his cravings. He could eat it but he wasn't allowed to eat too much. Lu Mao's strict diet plan made him miss those days when he could just gleefully eats whatever he wanted.

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Well, anyway, since he is here, might as well have a cheat day. He's sure the baby will like it too.

Unborn Baby Bun: Yay~~

Munching cutely until his cheeks went round, Lin Mian Mian dipped the cute white dumplings to a slightly spicy soy sauce then ate it fully in one bite. Nom~, like he is a monster villain. He is too focused on eating that whatever the Empress Dowager says, he will just nod to show that he is listening.

Between eating and talking, of course, nobody will choose to talk.

Though, the Empress Dowager did not mind the disrespect. Rather, she is too absorb on tracing her memory line. She would look at Lin Mian Mian sweetly then drink some tea. It is obvious from her dazed expression that her memories only contained the best of her life.

The moment she finished her trip to the past, she suddenly muttered, "Ah, my pregnancy is really a difficult but a fun phase..."

However, the thirteenth wife who is not listening fully and only heard the word 'pregnancy', is, unfortunately, drinking some tea to ease his throat. This sudden trigger made him choke spilling the tea all over the table. The Lady was surprised by his reaction that she quickly returned to Earth.

The servants that were watching on the sidelines quickly helped the concubine. Lin Mian Mian coughed a bit intensely that the Lady has to go over on his side to pat his back.

"My Child, are you all right? Is there something wrong?" She asked, patting Lin Mian Mian's back soothingly.

"N-no, I... *coughs*... I just choke on t-tea-" He is genuinely surprised. Did the dowager suddenly ask him about his pregnancy? Does she know about it?

Lin Mian Mian suddenly paled. He is sure that he has been careful. He made sure that nobody will see his symptoms or some other signs that could give his secret out.

The Lady wanted to give Lin Mian Mian to drink some water to ease his throat when she realized that Lin Mian Mian actually choked on liquid. This made the air a bit awkward as the Dowager returned to her position. Lin Mian Mian finally recovered from the ill-death cough then asked the Empress Dowager carefully.

"This Lady, Mother, what do you mean by pregnancy?"

The Empress Dowager looked at Lin Mian Mian's pale face questionably then remembered her last words. She quickly told Lin Mian Mian about her experience in child labor. This includes stuff about morning sickness, swelling feet, the dull pain whenever the kid kicks, and the painful feeling of letting the child out.

Lin Mian Mian sighed in relief when he heard her words and thought that he must be just overthinking things.

Right, he should not think too much of it. Lin Mian Mian quickly forgot the ordeal and hunted the next meat on the table...

The food made from the palace tastes really good especially the cooks of the Empress Dowager. They have quite a good impression towards Lin Mian Mian so they especially made a banquet for the thirteenth wife to eat. Most of the dishes were made from peaches to which the Empress Dowager requested. She knows that Lin Mian Mian liked this fruit so she ordered the kitchen to cook more.

Who would have thought that on their one hour of chat, Lin Mian Mian did not touch any of the peaches?

The Lady thought that Lin Mian Mian is just saving his favorites to eat later so she did not ask the person. But as the bowls of dumplings and rice cakes were slowly being consumed, the still untouched peaches highlighted their importance.

No matter how much a person keeps the best for the last rule, Lin Mian Mian should have at least tasted them once, right?

She took a plate of peaches to show at Lin Mian Mian. The ger simply looked at the dish and told the Lady that he is already full so he could not eat the dish now. Though, this could only be believable if only Lin Mian Mian is still not stuffing some rice cakes on his mouth.

So, this person is already full?

The Empress Dowager looked at Lin Mian Mian suspiciously. She felt that there is something different about the ger. It could be said that a woman's intuition is always right. And once they hit the point, the jackpot will always come with a price. She observed Lin Mian Mian more and noticed that the ger would avoid any dishes that have peaches on it.

If this is not subconscious avoidance, then what is it? Isn't peaches Lin Mian Mian's favorite food?

Maybe the peaches did not taste good? She tried eating one and thought that it was made well. She has trust in the chefs in her yard so they should be doing their best considering that a guest will be eating the meal. It means that if there is a problem, that would be Lin Mian Mian.

A feeling weighted on her heart as she continued eating the peach dishes. The thought lingered on her mind as she stared at Lin Mian Mian's cinnabar. The color of the object is pink so it tells that Lin Mian Mian is just an average ger. However, it did not say that it is impossible to conceive a child.

Yan JinLong has been spending the night with Lin Mian Mian before the trouble in the borders arrived. Calculating the days, the Lady estimated that this time some symptoms of pregnancy should show.

What are the signs? She is more familiar with it, after all, she is a mother. She knows what kind of changes the body would feel.

This is Lin Mian Mian's first pregnancy so he must not know that he is pregnant yet. And seeing how he becomes picky about foods, probably he is on the stage of craving right? The thought of Lin Mian Mian being pregnant made the Lady happy. Though, she did not intend to surprise the ger since such reality might cause him to feel fear.

Lin Mian Mian is unaware of the thoughts of the mother and that his cover was seen by the woman's intuition. So when the Empress Dowager called him, Lin Mian Mian just dazedly looked up. The Lady gestured Lin Mian Mian to come closer because she has something to say. Lin Mian Mian made a confused look as he leaned to the table.

"Hey, tell me," the Lady whispered. "Has my son been doing good in the bed?"

"Good in what?" Lin Mian Mian's loudly repeated the question.

"Shh, lower your voice," the woman insisted. "You see, I was wondering if he has worked hard and..."

The woman gestured to look at Lin Mian Mian's tummy. There is no bulge but the possibility of life growing is not little. Lin Mian Mian wanted to say that he and Yan JinLong did not actually cultivate during those nights but he could not just reveal this secret.

Plus, Yan JinLong did indeed hit the jackpot on the first shoot...

"M-mother, what are you saying?" Lin Mian Mian tried to hide the sourness that he felt from suddenly being close to exposure. "Even though we...um... well on those nights, it still not enough to conceive..."

"Why not? I mean, we did not know yet right? How about we ask for a physician-"

"M-mother, mother, wait," Lin Mian Mian stopped the harbinger. "Let's not be hasty, okay?"

"Am I being hasty? No, we are not," she said. "We are just checking if there is life inside you. We do not know what might happen, might as well see if there is a result. This will not harm you if there is none, and if there is then..."

"It is impossible to conceive," Lin Mian Mian declared.

"Hush, my child, there is no impossible in this world. Even though your cinnabar is light-colored, you could still have a child after many trials. Knowing my son well, you both should have it-"

"We didn't do it," Lin Mian Mian hastily said.

"You didn't do what?" The Lady questioned back.

"Um... in those nights... we are not actually doing it."

"What do you mean?"

Lin Mian Mian pursed his lips. Yan JinLong knows that he was just being drugged and Lin Mian Mian just barely escaped from it. Now that the Empress Dowager will know about it, what kind of result will he find?

---

NOTE: I saw someone posting this to Wattpad 
Hahahahha Though that post is properly credited to me, it is still weird to see a second work on the same site. Hahahhahh so Yeah, this is posted earlier in Wattpad then will be posted here after a few days. I schedule the chapters so yeah... So I hope I won't encounter the same event again Hahahha well if it do happen then I'll just stop posting here hahahha 

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